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Why do we crave so many things
though they leave us unsatisfied
and send us out again for ephemeral
seconds of vanishing gratification?

Is it an absence of essential qualities
that makes us feel unfinished?
Do we indeed believe that more is better,
restlessly chasing for the shiniest of all?

We seem to be obsessed with filling
all the empty spaces in our house of life
with things
barely a place left for ourselves
to comfortably lounge and contemplate
and
    maybe
find the missing elements
waiting
    to be found
    within
and not without
Love is quick
but so, so painful.
If it's quick, it's supposed to be painless, right?
It's delight which flows without measure
from the assurance that through every circumstance
and detail of my life God is ever beckoning and drawing me
into deeper intimacy with Himself, ever whispering to my heart,
“Come closer still.”

Joy in the midst of devastating loss, crushing disappointment,
unbearable pain or scourging heartache is about the discovery of
treasure so precious and rare that it never could have been found
had we not been forced to walk a path of affliction in the desert.

It's in the isolation and brutality of the wild that we come to know Him
in ways that transcend the span of human imagining or desiring,
and all the songs and all the poems and all the masterpieces
taken together cannot capture an estimable description
of the pleasures that might be unearthed there.

There lies before us in our afflictions a vast and wondrous beauty
yet undisclosed behind the fog, and like a theatrical curtain
slowly pulled back to reveal a perfectly set stage
He will sublimely unveil it in His own directed time.

And we shall be elated at the view,
for it's against a backdrop of struggle and darkness
that the best and most moving of stories have always unfolded.

Maybe nothing truly beautiful can ever take form on earth
without the shroud of mystery and brokenness surrounding it—
at least not the kind of beauty that takes our breath away
and leaves us yearning to possess it.
~~~

"You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy
in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand."  
~ Psalm 16:11

"O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen You in the sanctuary and beheld Your power and Your glory. Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You. I will praise You as long as I live, and in Your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise You. On my bed I remember You; I think of You through the watches of the night. Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me."  
~ Psalm 63:1-8

"It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn Your decrees. The law from Your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold."  
~ Psalm 119:71-72

"'Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth...'"
~ Hosea 2:14-15
 Jul 2017 Bianca Reyes
pia
Collide
 Jul 2017 Bianca Reyes
pia
wrong place
maybe one of these days
i'll find the right time
but I know that i'm
too late

maybe one of these days
I just might
find the right time
and place
but, oh well
you might as well
be with someone else

joined the race
lost the chase
but maybe one of
these days
I might just find
the right place

but did you pass me by
while I was waiting
for the right time?
did you pass by?
why did I
let you pass me by?

but maybe one of
these days
when i'm in the
right place
and find myself at
the right time
we'll finally collide
and sparks will fly
when we find
each other
My body, my soul, my youth.
Young song pours from my skin
and weaves through the patterns
in my irises. I am beautiful
so she hates me. She curses me,
eating me up with her eyes,
eyes which are eating me alive.
She tears me apart
because she loves me,
I am too beautiful for her world.
She will dance in the winds
I make with my hands
and in the flowers which bloom
at my feet.
She will cry in the storms
I breathe
and the rivers
I sing.
She will know me and love me and run
away from me because my youth
is crawling somewhere,
somewhere where everything belongs
apart from her.
~~ Ephebiphobia, the fear of youth. ~~
Her
Last words
To me
Were:
"Don't forget
That
I love
You
And you put back the missing pieces
In more ways than one
And I am forever thankful to you"
Tonight I said goodbye for good.
 Jul 2017 Bianca Reyes
The Writer
stand against the sun
stretch towards its hopeful rays
and just feel its warmth
A happy haiku to hopefully brighten someone's day
 Jul 2017 Bianca Reyes
skyler
i kept them
as tokens of our innocence
of a love that once was

they stand for a time before
when we were together
and that's all that mattered

a time when we wanted to make each other happy
just kids struck blind by first love
trying to hold on to the high before it faded away

a time when i thought the world was good
and i had finally found something that felt right
i had found someone i didn't want to lose

now i can't seem to throw them away
because they remind me of you
and you may not be here now
but they prove you once were
so i kept them

s.s
 Jul 2017 Bianca Reyes
m
my eyelashes have turned to stone. my lips are soft, my breathing is even.
my ears have been pierced
with the drumming of time.

acceptance is the sheets,
and my windows have no shades.
attempts to escape; the future will come,
if you wish it so or not.

and so I lay, 3pm on a tuesday in July,
under covers, awaiting my fate
as a lover with no shelter and a killer with no shame.
depression naps ammiright?
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