My heart is torn in two
Over him and over you

He's the standard I'll never reach,
And you're the friend I'll never breach.

Each so unobtainable,
But each can make me smile,

So what am I supposed to do?
But let my heart remain torn for a while.

This much I know is true:
I'm as much me,
As I am a part of you,
Your words will never change this,
Nor distance, nor time,
And some day in the future,
Again, you will be mine

He says
"I love you but I'm not in love with you."
Who knew that
a small, two-letter word
could change so much.

The things they say to make me feel better are so very nice
but
I'm not so sure they understand
I've got no pieces left to put back together.
He has them all and they can't just be given back,
He has to come with them and
he won't and
what do pieces matter
if the glue that holds them together is gone?

I'm not sure why exactly that,
I thought things would end different for us,
You with your silver wings,
And me, here on the ground.
But that's exactly what I thought:
"Things will be different for us,"
God, how could I be such a fool?

Pass me my pen,
So I may go to battle,
There is a war brewing,
Between head and heart.
Troops must be called,
In the form of neatly,
Printed, black letters,
Each marching promptly,
After one another.
"We cannot let the emotions win,"
The head orders steadily,
Always analytic.
"Think of what good could come of this,"
The heart says to her troupes,
Her tone far gentler than that of the head.
Each side has merit,
Evenly matched.
A dual is bubbling,
One which will only have,
A ****** end.
One side will win out,
But there will be no victor.

So pass me my pen,
So I may go to war,
My words will fight the battle,
Upon the pale page.

The feeling of his top lip and bottom
Were like a collision of before and after
And everything between was us and now
His lips were like two fragile
Old books pages which
Came alive once more against mine
Kissing him was like
Every good thing in the world happening
All at once and shared for
Just him and I to witness
A meeting of pure liquid against
Heated fire
And nothing could pull our lips apart
Except
Time.


And eventually...
It did.

I knew I was nothing to you
But what a dream it was
To pretend I was something.

The one bad thing about,
Having guy friends instead of girl
Friends is that they're
Not girl friends.
When you're laying in tatters on your bed,
Heart completely shattered and destroyed,
And it feels like nothing will ever be okay ever again,
Guys won't curl up beside you and pet
Your hair and they won't vow to
Hate the boy who has wronged you.
Guy friends just say things like,
"****. I'm sorry. That's really ******. That really *****."

I told you that you were losing your friends,
I told you my blades were calling me,
I told you we needed you back,
I told you I wanted to die.

And what was your response?
"That's fine."

I remember when we were in the shower after the first trip to the sauna, and you got down on one knee and asked me to marry you. And maybe we should have ran far away from this hellhole town right then and there and maybe got hitched in Vegas and got our apartment and published our books because I think we would still be happy if we had left right when you asked.

He came screaming into my life like a balloon accidentally,
Let loose before the knot is tied,
And his words make me giddy.
So why do the words not flow onto the page over him?
Why can I only write sad poems?

You care about everyone and
you care about their problems
you always have

but now you don't care that
I've got glass in my heart
or that God wants me
dead

and what do you do when
the person who takes care
of everyone won't
take care of you?

Your lips are like poison,
But I crave every,
Deadly, killing, tortuous,
drop.

I wore your love like a cloak,
And with a winter like this,
There is no doubt I'll freeze to death.