Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
250 · Sep 2019
Obsession
Van Xuan Sep 2019
She stares with menace
A custom she can't control
Gray paints her world

She met a kind man
Who gave radiance to her life
A cliche story

People flock on him
Which stains her light with darkness
She is at her end

She is resentful
She want to own him alone
She has a great plan

By midnight they met
She cut his throat nice a swift
"He is mine only"
250 · Dec 2020
Trust
Van Xuan Dec 2020
"I won't give up on you"

The words I sincerely said to her
A man's promise I solemnly abide

Yet I receive distrust

From the woman whom I trust
The same woman who gave me
The pain of reality
244 · Mar 2019
A lesson in Ethics class
Van Xuan Mar 2019
"Loving is never wrong, it is always right"

This line struck me to the core
My beliefs are starting to crumble
Doubt rises inside my head

"This is unfair! Why I feel wronged when I fall in love with her?!"

A question that burst inside my heart
Frustration, pain, anger and weakness goes with it
A typhoon that destroys everything in its path

"Then why invest when it's already a losing fight?"

I was lost, my voice doesn't seem to go out
Why did I love a person who in the first place does not love me back?
For once I truly loved a person who drag me in despair
A lesson that needs to be ingrain in my heart
239 · Jul 2020
Survivor
Van Xuan Jul 2020
I lost someone dear to me

It happened so fast that I can't react
My mind can't process it
I can't feel anything
And then..

Reality hits me hard

I can't breathe
I want to go home
I want to die
My world stop spinning
I want to quit
I can't move on

But I don't want to give up
I struggled hard
I fight to live every day
I am healing
I want to be strong
So that when the time comes
When I face that person once again
I can say it pride

I am a survivor
Thank you for your guidance
Mom
A small tribute for those who survived this difficult situation in life
239 · May 2020
Wind down
Van Xuan May 2020
My mind blanked at that very moment
We've been in this journey for 6 years
And I know someday it's going to end

But your sudden departure made me realised
That it is never easy to let go
Of the things you love the most

On that rainy midnight
I left with a deep sigh
Putting my phone away as I silently said
Such a nice book, thank you for everything
I really don't know how to handle these kind of situations every time i finish reading books or updates of a good novels
237 · Nov 2020
Losing the will to fight
Van Xuan Nov 2020
Today I let go of someone special
I tried to cling as hard as I can
Just for that person to stay

We argue
We fight
I plead

But when a person wants to leave
They leave with determination
Never looking back
Never in my dreams we end up like this breaking each other up
237 · May 2020
Essence of writing
Van Xuan May 2020
I honestly don't know what to write

I just fill this with empty words
With no sense of direction at all

Is this the feeling of being stagnant
Or just the fact that losing someone
Means losing the the reason of writing

To make her immortal
In the world of literature
228 · Oct 2020
Insecurity
Van Xuan Oct 2020
What if

What is she won't talk to me anymore
What if I'm just her past time
What if she will leave me

What if I just played her feelings
What if I'll left her behind
What if I'm tired of her

What if
What if

***** what ifs
I'm **** afraid
But I must face it IF it will happen
228 · Jun 2019
Idealistic relationship
Van Xuan Jun 2019
Ideally you're the person I want
Who can ideally make me perfect
Who can ideally bring the bliss of my youth
Who can ideally be my world.

But I forgot a very important fact
And that is to be realistic

There's no such thing as ideal person
We can never force someone to change
For us to be perfect
For us to taste the bliss of our youth
And to be in our ideal world

Because this is the reality
We just need to make the best out of it
And be content with what the person gave to us.
227 · Apr 2020
Everything I have
Van Xuan Apr 2020
Can she accept me
Even if the only thing I have
Is a single piece of my remaining heart
226 · Mar 2019
An answer to my broken self
Van Xuan Mar 2019
you might find my answer absurd
but i'll tell you
the reason why i try so hard
to fit in her world
is because i badly want to fix
that broken pieces of yours
hoping that you'll be whole again
from the woman you love the most
and from the woman the I hate the most
225 · Jan 2021
Being happy
Van Xuan Jan 2021
Convincing yourself to be happy
Is like being told to draw a smile
With a broken pencil
224 · Apr 2020
ALL I WANT
Van Xuan Apr 2020
When was the last time we dance in the rain,
Laughing at simple things.
When was the last time we enjoy playing outside,
Not minding if we will end up sweating.

When was the last time we laughed so hard without thinking about the world,
Just us sharing horror stories at night.
When was the last time we live so happily,
Curious about the future, about how we will grow old.

And now here we are, stressing ourselves,
Adulthood at it's finest.
When some of our dreams fail, our efforts became useless,
And we can't do anything about it.

We thought we can do everything once we're older,
Yet here we are, hearts begin to break and smiles starts to falter.
How I wish we'll be like that again,
Once we fall we'll just stand up and kiss away the pain.

How I wish we can be that happy,
Dreaming about those fairytale stories.
How I wish we can bring back time,
And stay as kids where problems are small like figuring out how to climb.

Those times where I'm so eager to find the answers to my questions,
Feeling so exhilarating for the things unknown.
I miss being the kid I am in the past,
Where Christmas is still special and know lots of spells to cast.

I miss those times where I can be who I am,
And dream of what I want to be.
Where I can sleep all day and eat plenty,
No worries, no more responsibilities.
I wish I didn't grow up, and stuck as a child,
So I can be more bolder and wild —in spirit.
This is from my student ☺️

J.M Neko
217 · Mar 2019
Desolation
Van Xuan Mar 2019
I used to stare at the stars
Where we both make plans for the future
Plans that I thought we could pull together
A future I used to looked forward

I used to stare at the moon
Thinking that we are in the same sky
Despite the distance between us
A consolation I used to cherish

You left me, without a single word
I was confuse, angry and helpless
I want to scream at you!
I have thousand of words to say to you

You are my friend
You are my shield
You are my pillar of staying sane
You are the only person that I care to stay

But, when I see you together with other person
I lost my voice
I lost my courage
Only a single tear tells how much you mean to me
212 · Mar 2019
Unbearable
Van Xuan Mar 2019
at the end of the day
when you sat at the table
you will realize
that the one you love the most
will never come back to you

that is the time loneliness strikes in
the noise of silence is too much
like trashing your mind inside out
until tears suddenly drops

followed by a silent scream that you try to hold
until muffled sobs echoes on the walls
of a lively neighborhood
196 · Aug 2019
Betrayal
Van Xuan Aug 2019
Drinking ***** tonight
Smoking under the moonlight
Make out today
Party tomorrow
Enjoying every second of my life
Yet
When I became sober
When the last cigarette dies
When the day ends
When I reach the end
When fun becomes tiring
I always remember...
I am now alone
Since the day that I
Was betrayed by the friends
Whom I thought
My support in life.
For my friends who left me behind
194 · Apr 2020
Guilt
Van Xuan Apr 2020
No matter how hard I try
Even if we are back to friends
I'm still a coward
To send her a message
Because I know in myself
It's better to be like this
Than making another relationship
That might tear us apart
190 · Sep 2019
To my crush
Van Xuan Sep 2019
You don't know the feeling
When we have a short conversation
Before you sleep every night
It's like I'm in heaven
Even if my day was hell
179 · Nov 2019
Scream from the heart
Van Xuan Nov 2019
The loudest scream I heard
Comes from a girl who says
'I'm fine'
172 · Nov 2019
Crowded place
Van Xuan Nov 2019
There are two things in my mind
Whenever I'm with you
In this busy streets of downtown

The feeling of being
The special person
In this crowded place for having you with me of all the people you know

And the feeling of being
A nobody
Knowing that I'm not special in your heart like everyone else in this crowd
169 · Jun 2019
absurdity
Van Xuan Jun 2019
When I just became a stepping stone of what she become today sometimes makes me wonder...
Did I just born to witness this moment?
162 · Jan 2020
Coward
Van Xuan Jan 2020
Even if I scream to the world
I HATE YOU
My heart secretly tells you
I LOVE YOU
158 · Jul 2020
Writing it out
Van Xuan Jul 2020
It's been a couple of months
Since I stopped writing
In those months I felt empty
But I don't really seems to care
Like a wasteland without life

I don't really want to write
But it cost me greatly
I almost lost myself
Thus I start writing again
Under this rain

I let myself pour all the emptiness
Inside my heart
When writing makes me feel better
157 · Jan 2020
Midnight
Van Xuan Jan 2020
They said that when one reaches midnight
They always express their deepest feelings
To someone they really love...

I'm really afraid of this time
Because whenever I reach midnight
The feeling of bitterness will show

The bitterness of being left behind
By the girl that USED to be my
EVERYTHING
157 · Apr 2020
Blank
Van Xuan Apr 2020
Can someone tell me
How to understand
The phrase she gave to me
'I'm sorry and good bye'
155 · Apr 2020
Nothingness
Van Xuan Apr 2020
When the taste of love is gone
When dating feels empty
When there's no color in life
How could I ever love again?
Can I still have my happiness?
I don't feel like loving at all
153 · Sep 2019
Mutual
Van Xuan Sep 2019
Late night talks
Unplanned road trips
Number one supporter
Enjoying our mutual relationship
Yes Mutual relationship
Nothing more
Nothing less
The only thing that is true between us
That we are just friends
152 · Jan 2020
Final message
Van Xuan Jan 2020
Usted siempre sera mi siempre
You will forever be my always
My only message that I can never say to her because I missed that chance
144 · Nov 2020
Change
Van Xuan Nov 2020
I was skeptic when people says
'Loving too much will change you'
How can it change me when I only sincerely show her my heart? 

But

Now I believe in them.. 
You know why?
Because when she touch my heart
I never felt anything 
only indifference 

And it change me into someone I never knew
134 · Apr 2020
Untitled
Van Xuan Apr 2020
For almost 4 years
I can finally say to her
These words that tightly clings
In my heart

"I give up, time for me to let you go"
125 · Oct 2020
Insomia
Van Xuan Oct 2020
The only reason
Why I can't sleep at night
Is because of you

The girl who left me behind
I feel restless everytime this mood hits me
118 · Mar 2019
Unexpected meeting
Van Xuan Mar 2019
At that single moment,
I hug her for a very long time
Devoid of reasoning
Just a sincere raw feeling
Of how much I miss her.
Never minding the busy streets,
The amuse stares of the the crowd,
Or the noisy cheers of our friends.
It's just between us,
beating as one.
When I met my long time sweetheart for almost 2 years due to my studies in a boarding school
114 · Jul 2019
Rain
Van Xuan Jul 2019
As tears slowly drops my chin
The rain smooths my crumpled heart
Drowning the sadness away

— The End —