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  Mar 15 Van Xuan
b e mccomb
i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place
copyright 8/6/18 b. e. mccomb
Van Xuan Mar 15
I hate seeing a woman cry because of me
A principle I throw away
Since the day she left me alone

I made countless women cry
To satisfy my unquenchable anger
A sin that I can never overcome.

But when I saw my mother cried,
My heart was squeezed ruthlessly
An invisible force ripping my soul.

Can I still be called human?
When I've done so many cruel things
Even forgetting the only principle I have

A principle that I made for my mother when I made her cry once.
Van Xuan Mar 15
Heaviness of eyes
Unreadable sentences
Fighting drowsiness

Cold afternoon breeze
Drags wandering minds to sleep
So hard to resist

Yet the best part is...
The sound of a lullaby
Of prof's discussion

Oh how wonderful
To rest peacefully like I'm...
Sleeping on God's wings

When the prof caught us sleeping
**** will seethe our soul
Van Xuan Mar 14
"Loving is never wrong, it is always right"

This line struck me to the core
My beliefs are starting to crumble
Doubt rises inside my head

"This is unfair! Why I feel wronged when I fall in love with her?!"

A question that burst inside my heart
Frustration, pain, anger and weakness goes with it
A typhoon that destroys everything in its path

"Then why invest when it's already a losing fight?"

I was lost, my voice doesn't seem to go out
Why did I love a person who in the first place does not love me back?
For once I truly loved a person who drag me in despair
A lesson that needs to be ingrain in my heart
Van Xuan Mar 14
"Do you understand?"

He woke up from his trance while silently looking at the foreign place he is in.
He does no know what he is doing there but he remember how she left him when they are still happily having their date on the other day.
He felt being hopeless in the dark when she is gone.

He ask to God why?
He feels that he is cheated
He is angry!
He hates her!
He hates her!
He really hates her!

"Can you prove that she does not love you even if she left you in the dust?"

He stared at the person asking the question.
He thought it is a foolish question
Is leaving him behind not an solid proof that she does not love me? He is dumbstruck
The question that he don't know what to feel.

"Betrayal can also mean that you are love by her you know? Do you now understand?"

And at that moment he remembered that he is in the classroom listening to his professor.

"Yes Bishop I understand everything"
Van Xuan Mar 14
At that single moment,
I hug her for a very long time
Devoid of reasoning
Just a sincere raw feeling
Of how much I miss her.
Never minding the busy streets,
The amuse stares of the the crowd,
Or the noisy cheers of our friends.
It's just between us,
beating as one.
When I met my long time sweetheart for almost 2 years due to my studies in a boarding school
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