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Sep 2022 · 79
Szeptemberi köszöntő
Nikolas Sep 2022
A reggel nem is olyan fagyos már,
Még mindig megszólal kismadár,
Még mindig ódát éneklünk a nyárnak,
Mikor az emberek már kabátokban járnak.

Kora reggel csak úgy ragyog a mosolyod,
még mindig napsugár üt át az arcodon,
És kincsemmé vált ez a pillanat is már,
legyen akár ősz, vagy tavasz;  nyár.
Apr 2022 · 122
Kegyelmes út
Nikolas Apr 2022
Azt hittem, hogy elestem.
Dőltem hátra s mindjárt itt volt már!
De nem.
Mégsem buktam el.

Azt hittem, hogy elvesztem.
Összefolyt a láthatár és kékültem,
de nem.
Mégis meglettem.

Azt hittem, fájni fog.
Vártam az ütést a testemen,
de nem.
Helyette megöleltek.

Jött az idők vége
és azt hittem, hogy meghaltam.
Nem.
Mindezt megálmodtam.
S ha el is estem volna,
te karodba boruljak, Uram,
Mert te vagy az én egyetlen, biztos
és kegyelmes kiutam.

Jött az idők vége
és azt hittem, hogy meghaltam.
Nem.
Mindezt megálmodtam.
S ha el is estem volna,
a te karodba essek, Uram!
Te vagy az én egyetlen és biztos,
kegyelmes kiutam.
Mar 2022 · 94
Finom határ
Nikolas Mar 2022
Ki mit tud és mennyit?
Senki semmit s én magam is csak egy
parányit egy ámító univerzumból.

Na és mi van a jég alatt?
Meleg víz és felfedezetlen tengerek.
Érzések, arcok és emberek.

Többet tudok, vagy kevesebbet?
Ha jól kiismerlek, úgy leolvadnak
A felvetett maszkok az arcunkról.

Honnan tudná a közember, hogy mi rejtőzik
Zöldeskék szemek birtokában?
Vagy egy tündér titkos, cseles mosolyában?

Nem is jég talán az, mi van a felszínen
csak törékeny falak és kapuk melyek
ha lelkedet tapintják, omladoznak.
Mar 2022 · 65
Kivirágzás
Nikolas Mar 2022
Telnek a napok és üresen feküdnek
az íroasztalon az összegyűrt lapok.
S a toll, mely szavakban festett álmot s a mennyt,
Tegnap már csak furcsa firkákban fáradt el.
Hova egy ilyen élet?
hol nap mint nap ijesztő álmokban látok tükröt
és felkelni nehéz, beszélni nehéz,
s megállítani az esést,
nagyon nehéz.
De immár márciusra lapoztam a kalendáriumom...
Márciusban talán kinyílik a virág és
elmúlik a fájdalom.
Jön a meleg, az enyhetadó, s egy szép napon majd
ott találom magam, ahova én vagyok való.
Jan 2022 · 130
Nem tagadhatom...
Nikolas Jan 2022
Nem tagadhatom, hogy mikor kinézek a zúgó
Kocsi ablakán a ködös szürke tájra: nem
érzek semmit... mert érzem én a színek
ízét akkor is ha elfojtják azokat;
Nem tagadhatom az álmodozásomat.

Nem tagadhatom, hogy mikor bújom a sárga
lapokat nem szorul meg a levegő tüdőmben egy
pillanatra, mikor egy szívszorító sorhoz jutok
és elvérzek mert a költő is elvérzett;
Nem tagadhatom gondolataimat.

Nem tagadhatom, hogy szívem sajog nap
mint nap a művészetért, s utolsó cseppig belé
adám egy tüzes versbe, mindenem mim van
nekem és miben boldog vagyok,
Nem tagadhatom, amire vágyok

Nem tagadhatom, hogy télen-nyáron,
messzi s közeli tájon mint hegyekben,
úgy a termő virágban is téged kereslek,
Mert magamat tagadnám,
ha azt mondanám, nem szeretlek.
Dec 2021 · 73
Úrtól az embernek
Nikolas Dec 2021
A remény utolsó sugarát mentve
szálljon a nép a Földről fel,
Istenünk mondta hogy ha elesik szív,
itt nem ülni, itt tenni kell.
Vándorló képek és látomások
közepette tiszta vízként látom
igédet: bízok a kezedben s
mesteremnek adom a lelkemet.
Mert mondja embernek az Isten:
Küzdjél!
Küzdj, míg összerogyott lábad **** téged
a föld felett; küzdj míg van kiért,
s van miért még élni testedben.
S ha szíveden nyíl csattan s hasít
húsodba keményen, el ne vérezz s merj
nézni félelmednek szemébe:
így bízz a Szentlélekben.
Mert lesznek még majd jobb napok;
mikor az élet úgy dönt, ma nem harap;
s hagy téged élni a sors,
ha eddig nyugtod nem maradt.
Ha kétség támad elmédben s
álmodban zúz a valóság,
tépd szét az érzetet,
hagyd azt porladni lábadnál.
Ez van az Úrtól embernek, ha már
saját erejében nem hisz teremtménye:
remény és erő a felkeléshez,
végtelen szeretet és löket az újrakezdéshez.
Oct 2021 · 175
Ősz, az öregember
Nikolas Oct 2021
Emlékeim mint egy templomrom...
És annak kövei a harmatos fűben
Piros-sárga levelek közt hevernek,
Élvezik az őszt, szeretik az öregembert.

És minden szép és csendes! Mintha
Szentlélek szállott volna le e tájra,
S megáldaná minden levélkéjét; s minden
Kedves emberét, melyet szeme látja.

Halkan és félbehagyottan; a szoba
Apró fények csillanására feléled,
És narancssárgán sugárzó falaiban
Hazaérő lakosokat melenget.

Szeretlek ősz, szeretlek téged...
Lelkemet elringatod; majd fölkelted álmából,
Ébredezzen, mert nem élünk hiába; s egy
Arany lánggal ég a remény, mert nem késő még.
Feb 2021 · 561
Useless man
Nikolas Feb 2021
Extravagant parties and luscious life...
Everybody's in disguise
of a simple man and kind,
Who runs away to find
Himself; in a very small village.

He will reform, redirect and redesign,
Only to see his neighbors sigh;
Who is this new man who thinks
That suddenly he won't pour drinks?

Onegin was bored, both here, and back home,
But it seems he doesn't want to be alone,
He fools around with a lovely young girl,
Who cares for Lensky, for whom she's a pearl.

There was an enthusiast, a calm yet wild soul,
She read and she wrote, played a different role
Than Onegin would've expected; a letter she signed,
And with her pen, she painted what she had in mind.

Yet those, who are nonchalant and fairly useless,
Will not count the hours that were spent being thought about them.
That's how Onegin lived his life and after 8 long years,
He finally loved, but then, he went by.
Written based on the poetic novel of Pushkin: Eugene Onegin
Nov 2020 · 53
They shall not know
Nikolas Nov 2020
If we could select all but us, and turn them aside, could we ever encounter greater peace?
The world does not seek to see crevices and pillows smuthered, anymore.
Windowsills frozen in the night, closing time, but no goodbye, in my eye, you reflect as I recall your tones in my mind.
Wilderness and blossom in my disguise, my mask and my secret on the side. Connection retained and prolonged through the great stresses of life.
They shall not know what is not on their mind, just to be kind we release as they pass by.
Remaining silent and tounge-tied in the midst of a surprise is a certainly troublesome task for a person in disguise.
Don't you think universes create ones within themselves that do not share the same reality?
Trust is a heavenly thing to find, must be looked upon as a candlelight, kept undisturbed with no ominous invasions of jeopardizing admissions....
They shall not know, what is on their child's mind and what is on their tongue when they speak the truth nonchalantly, but racing with adrenalin throughout. They shall not know the innocent truth.
Nov 2020 · 344
Values
Nikolas Nov 2020
Visually enriched individuals; you flee where you wish to, and close your eyes with the view last in mind.
Nationwide and far away; you meet peoples whom I only read about in books and see diversity in another world.
I wish I could say that I didn't envy you. But I really do;
For sure I have some beloved locations, for sure I meet my family, but in this particular case I'm an empty body, to wish something, I should fear being silenced.
My mind stores it all;
I've engraved the mountains in my head and locked them tightly in my memories, I remember faces, prices, expressions and sounds, my senses get perplexed in a really good way.
I hope to flee and not complain.
Oct 2020 · 670
I'm busy improving
Nikolas Oct 2020
To be young, is to be little and be elderly,
Is to carry all the weights put upon me,
And daydreaming continuously,
Is what means to be young.

Pressures push me to the side,
But I believe they'll do me right,
I'll have to take me as I am,
And do the best with me I can.

Old is old, rust is rust,
But young is old, and rust is gold.
I'm still a naive small being,
And responsibilities are towering in front of me.

Hope to grow, and hope to show,
I'll stay ambitious, won't stand low,
It takes one big breath and one take,
The best outcome is my own stake.
Aug 2020 · 195
Studio
Nikolas Aug 2020
Stained wooden tools in use,
Rapid brush strokes, blouse is loose;

Oleanders running up the windows,
My painter's face is like a wild rose.
🌹
Aug 2020 · 197
Limitless
Nikolas Aug 2020
I cannot wait.
My lucid dreams now resemble reality as we strive to make progress,
The movement that is apparent, I have never sensed in children like us.

I may not wait.
I may just take you in the moment, if it's possible to take you dancing tonight, why wouldn't I?

I am very sure.
Time is no limit today, nor tomorrow, weeks go by yet your presence is closer, I am sure, I am here, I am there, and you come with me.

I've never been happier.
No other could change my mind or threaten me, I'm closer and always will be, we've grown up to be somebody, if one person could be two bodies.
Jul 2020 · 352
City dawn
Nikolas Jul 2020
The clock revealed 4 am.
Glorious blue tones overtook the darkness;
The chirping melody was blurring into the scene of this vital composition of the dawn.

The buildings remained quiet.
The nearly vacant streets welcomed a few hard-working men;
I sensed the smell of the syrupy pastries from the old, dear bakery.

I pulled the sheets off of myself.
Let the chill early breeze settle on my chest;
The entirely opened windows left the walls glazed with the gold tinted sunrays.

I close my eyes again.
Perhaps I woke up by accident, though this rare occurrence was delightful;
For now, I'll just let my mind continue it's journey through my dreams...the deepest corners of my visions, the endless floating through the seas.
Jun 2020 · 40
Evening of the elderly
Nikolas Jun 2020
The flowers are closing to rest,
The fresh breeze is wandering through the rooms,
There's me with my book and my mother is cooking.
The moments held the joy and the atmosphere was surreal to the point of belief, now, my friends have grown up but my love is besides me, I'm kind of 25 now.
I'm tearing up because a person needs interaction, but be your own best friend and find closure in your own nest.
The windowsill was darkening and the blue tones slipped from my desk to the white walls, mirroring the evening.
I was reading that line, that says "we go bankrupt by the age of 30....but to feel nothing, what a waste"
And it is a waste. But burning out would be too much to give of myself, they already took away my childhood.
I'm going to lay down, it's the end of June and I'm holding who's mine, perfect for me and perfect for her.
We're old but still young.
No poetical expressions needed, I'm here and this time I'm better than ever.
May 2020 · 165
Safe?
Nikolas May 2020
This morning I woke up to a grey sky and my alarm,
I certainly must do what they like, stand up, go ahead, start my day,
With a grin on my face, make breakfast, do something and sleep again.
I don't have the freedom, don't have the space, don't feel like sitting here for the rest of my day...
The only light that keeps shining is when I play, I talk to her, I say,
"I'm gonna meet you in a month. But still, be careful"
                                          Emanuel 23:49

It's like a cage but I move within the borders, it's this whole new renaissance here, we educate, we read.
I am changing, I am smiling, sometimes sighing, mostly lying in my bed, this thing that keeps me safe kills me at the same time.

My body hurts, my legs are stuck and rooted into the carpet of this home. The floor is cold, I'll sit at home and watch the news.

I'm waiting for the re-release, still I want the problems to cease,
"Ok, I'm on the bus, I'll be there in 15 minutes. Do you have a mask on?"                                             
               ­                           Her 9:20
May 2020 · 44
I really really want to
Nikolas May 2020
Have you ever wanted something...
So badly, so honestly, wanted to feel it physically?

Have you ever thought about...
Achieving it, touching it, living it endlessly?

Do you ever think about the...
Past, the present, and the future that comes,
The hand, the eyes, the time as it runs?

Do you ever hold back...
A word, a sentence, a gesture, expression,
A feeling, an action, or building up tension?

Do you ever imagine...
Physical presence, emotional touch, a smile or a gaze, that's waking you up?
Mar 2020 · 129
Mistero dell'amore
Nikolas Mar 2020
I'm dancing at the disco, for you, out of jealousy,
Catching your eye so quickly,
We'll talk when we're out of here,
Swaying on the street, still dancing a little bit.

You're like a mystery, and I want to solve history,
By the pool, we'll eat some fruit,
Sugary like peaches, the taste of honey reaches,
But then you step back and smile with your eyes.

Little time and many things still to do,
Many things to say to you
Burning love that eats me as a whole,
I'll wait for you at my front door.

You are one not to lose, you're one to be kept,
Talking with you in the dark while you slept,
Wandering through waterfalls with you,
Riding our bikes and crossing our paths.

We're approaching the station,

                           hand in hand

             I'm crying

By the fireplace.
Risolvi il mistero,
Oct 2019 · 245
Reborn
Nikolas Oct 2019
Supressed feelings, this is unimaginable pressure.
Roaming around with happiness, with the greatest treause,
Though I'm showing it slightly,
that never lets me get as loose.

Hiding it and hiding it, unintentionally and uncontrollably,
Creates the biggest void, and maybe leaves you wih some ruins of what you used to be.
It's hard living in a world where I'm not like I want to be...

I need some screws, a little help, to put myself back together,
And I have to be careful, to not make myself sadder.

I know, I know, somewhere under These layers I won't see a void,
But I'm going to be complete as I used To be.
Losing yourself puts you in the most unsure and confusing state. But you have to remember that it is temporary, and working towards gaining strength back and the will to change in a positive way is the most important goal you have to have.
Jul 2019 · 297
Healing
Nikolas Jul 2019
Your hands are the bandages,
And your look is the antidepressant.

Your words are my therapy,
Your smile is my charity.

Your laugh is my prescription,
Your touch is my injection.

Your stare is my remedy,
Your love is my recovery.
Jul 2019 · 824
You: your best friend
Nikolas Jul 2019
Self-destruction is a way to ease pain,
But it's only feeding the rain,
you're causing.

You've got to step out of love,
Step into mud,
For what?

It's a habit that's hard to let go of,
But easier to not know of,
If you have it.

Just lean in for help,
It's on the way,
For you.

You can ease your pain as much as you want to.
Jun 2019 · 217
Kids (and their summer)
Nikolas Jun 2019
The vacant streets get crowded with kids,
Open eyes with curious eyelids,
Watch the older ones play with sticks.

With their dolls, the girls throw their show,
Bragging about the toy with the prettiest bow,
And waiting for their moms to see.

The boys with their "weapons", "shooting" and shouting,
Beating their chest and gracefully scouting,
Waiting for their dads to hear.

The sunset slowly calls them inside,
For the older ones, now comes the time,
To peacefully roam around buildings.

They cry 'cause of heartbreaks,
They hide 'cause of smoke flakes,
Blowing out their mistakes through their mouth.

No kids can sleep now, nor old nor young,
Quietly speaking and as they swung, on a swing,
They looked deeper into the sun going down.
Jun 2019 · 380
Aura
Nikolas Jun 2019
"I'm happy, finally"
As I look into her eyes, and she beautifully,
Manages to look back deeper, and still keep her giggle gracefully.

"This will not end"
As I keep promising myself while the clock is ticking,
Still, I feel like I got all the time with no panicking.

"Don't leave"
As I whisper quietly when you're already on the bus,
And you flash in front of my eyes, I try to remember how it was...

"I love you"
Saying it when you're gone and I'm already headed home alone,
But I look back still as if you were there too, alone.
                                                       ~
"I still feel you"
It's your scent throughout the house,
The perfume on my sofa, the same one on your blouse.
`
Jun 2019 · 294
Déjà vu
Nikolas Jun 2019
This summer, the leaves are old,
Tired people in their homes.
This time, it's warm enough to hold,
The conversation on the phone.

It's sentimental, that this guitar,
Played so many false notes.
And yet, it's so, just so bizarre,
To miss some of my winter coats.

Summer is for the calm, the patient,
And so for the outrageous.
It's a time to remember the ancient,
The old, ruins of my soul.

Sometimes, it slips off my tongue,
That I'm the happiest of all.
But, it's a shock, for both of my lungs,
To feel the scent of the upcoming fall.

So it doesn't matter, the time,
The kids' laugh outside the building,
When it's so good to write, a rhyme,
When the sunset takes the anxious feeling.
May 2019 · 246
Behind closed doors
Nikolas May 2019
Isolated.
When your hands are cold in your dark room, are you afraid?
When your eyes became all watery, were you scared?
If my breathing's heavy, do you care?
And will I have a life to share?

Can I think that I'm alone?
Will you let me break my throne?
Would you let me cause a scene?
Or would you say that I'm unseen?

Is ignorance the norm?
In every shape and form?
Are my curtains dark enough?
Do I pretend like it's too rough?

More action or just words?
The mentality of birds?
Do I belong to flocks, or herds?
I know I don't, so it just hurts?..

I'm isolated, sigh.
I'm devastated, why?
The rumors, that I hear,
Have never caused my fear.
May 2019 · 197
Muted Fortissimo
Nikolas May 2019
I see the quiet tones in your eyes,
Let them unveil, speak loud.
The ballads you write have no lies,
Pure and clean, like a cloud.

Soft ringing of the keys,
The piano has a taste to it.
Oh play something, please,
Say what you won't admit.

Maybe you like harsh music,
Something unpoetical.
I will let you lose it,
Anything that's radical.

You're so different, yet fine,
A painter's masterpiece.
Such a newcomer, yet mine,
My garden's showpiece.

So stay gentle like you are,
Hang your gaze at me.
Don't tilt your head too far,
Whisper quietly.
May 2019 · 676
Playful eyes
Nikolas May 2019
Quiet breeze,
And the tallest trees,
are watching us.

Touching knees,
Lots of noisy bees,
we're building trust.

Eyes olive green,
And as I lean,
pupils dilate.

So when you tease,
Oh, love me please,
'Cause I'll wait...
Apr 2019 · 444
Ash Tray
Nikolas Apr 2019
Cigarette marks on the edge of the chair,
The thickness of smoke is gone.
Discussing how life sometimes isn't fair,
Four eyes and two souls make a bond.

Birds in the background are singing their songs,
Slowly but surely they fly.
They get darker and darker, a smoker's lungs,
"It's fine" as I tell myself lies.

Plans get bigger and dreams always shrink,
With time we all learn to let go.
Life speeds up, we have no time to think,
Only stop for a roll of tobacco.

The balcony's edge is this deep orange-red,
Soon the evening will dye the sky blue.
Our hands are now ashy, the sun has just set,
The cigarette's fragrance reminds me of you.
Apr 2019 · 212
Sunday sorrow
Nikolas Apr 2019
Quiet room and quiet cry.
Tears have paths and there they lie,
on my face as she says 'bye'.

I thought this Easter is with you,
Got blinded by pink hue,
Rose tinted glasses slowly turned blue.

I hope this new person understands,
And she will want us holding hands,
Oh what could my broken heart dream of?

Now I'm in white sitting at the table,
The background noise is our cable,
I'm not talking to my angel anymore.

What you said and what I did,
This innocent little kid,
Inside me,
Is now dying.

But I'll celebrate our Teacher,
Our God and our Preacher,
Who died for all these sins,
And now I see that love wins.
Apr 2019 · 233
Cold water & dusk
Nikolas Apr 2019
This sky is so grey,
Above this big bay.
The water is cold,
The ice cream is sold.

The beach has its spirit,
Like people should fear it.
My shirt caught in the wind,
As air progressively thinned.

Lost my breath in the sea,
My look hit a palm tree.
As i started to sink,
I had no time to think.

Now I'm just swimming endlessly,
Moving around carelessly.
But as I sprint away,
My soul is as empty as the bay.
Mar 2019 · 1.5k
Two faced royalty
Nikolas Mar 2019
What is that smile,
Threatening face?
Selfish desire,
Tie people on lace.

Everything for you
You don't see our needs,
Everyone's blue,
While her Majesty leads...

Show that you care,
But then spit in my soul?
Don't backstab me ever,
You won't see me fall.

Grin, laughter starts,
Pull me into your games,
You love broken hearts,
Throwin' us into flames
Mar 2019 · 988
Slowly.. getting better
Nikolas Mar 2019
Sunrays lay well on my face,
I like to go at my own pace.
Can't tell if its morning or night,
I'll wake up when it feels just right.

She wrote to me saying "Hi"
"I hope everything will be fine"
I don't know what'll happen tomorrow,
But I'm here if it's filled with sorrow.

My friends are naive but they care,
They know when I have a hard day.
Saw me at an all-time low,
They see, as a person, I grow.

I'll sleep through April's heavy rain,
I know it should wash away the pain.
I love you and know you complete me,
You're the one God has decided to give me.

— The End —