I see the dwelling pain inside
That you try so hard to hide.

I see through those deceitful lies
The feeling of watching your soul slowly die.

You cant help it but watch yourself fade away,
So letting go is the only way.

The memories will last, that much i know;
But you must live on, put on a show

And someday you will be able to flee
But its a game of waiting, so lets just wait and see...

"You are a coward" is what they say to me.
It isn't all that easy trying, I've lost the strings you see.

Anxieties keep coming they overwhelm my mind,
and without some mental quietness that string is hard to find...

So I beg you to hum a song and put this mind to sleep,
Because i swear there's no return I've fallen in too deep.

I admit I've loved the darkness, but its taking a toll on me,
And Im tired of all this madness, i just wanna be free...

But who am i to ask for freedom, when im the one who caged myself,
I guess they all are right about me, so leave me to rot on a shelf...

You feel like there is an empty void inside you,
And every night you get depressed without a clue...

You start to lose track of time,
You feel a guilt but dont know your crime...

You'll sleep alot to escape the lies,
Still you'll find yourself always tired...

They'll ask you if you are okay,
You'll say "I'm fine" like you always say.

But deep down you know there is something wrong,
Life has no meaning and you are scrapping along...

All your emotions slowly fall apart,
Until you can only hear the beating of your heart...
And there is no blood shed just ice shards,
On the floor Splintering apart...

At that time I want you to know,
Live your life with a flow

I wont tell you that you are wrong,
Because we all have been there somewhere along...

Dont lose yourself in your fake smiles,
I'm able to notice those empty lies...

And when you want to let it all out,
Get up and call me out...

So we will stop time from dusk till dawn,
And I will be a shoulder for you to cry on...

Oh that smile make my heart skip a beat,
It makes me think i can perform any feat.

When im with you i see everything in symphony,
My expression changes in a different harmony.

Your company has given me a sense of serenity,
Yet your absence drives me to literal insanity...

And I've taken a liking to that laughter,
Those parted lips that cant be any softer...

So may i drown in those eyes full of depth?
My soul is quaking it really needs a rest.

I've never intended yet to be found,
Living in my sanctuary free and unbound...

Yet i didn't knew that sanctuary was a prison with no gain,
Where i bounded myself with woven chains...

You broked those chains and setted me free,
You saved me from the falling debris...

And you made me forget all the pain,
You've given me hope to love again...

Yet i cast away these shallow eyes,
so you may not notice these unspoken lies...

And now my despair is giving me away,
You've read this now i wonder what you'll say...

Will you cast me away and call me a creep?
Or dive in my soul and save it from eternal sleep?

Maybe you will shout and say "leave me be".
What can i say, its your choice, I'll just wait and see...

Sometimes you just cant stop when the words start ticking,
and you keep on writing...
to fill a void that you are not sure is even there.
Until the day you create one...

I'm not the type of person to give up on someone,
But eventually eyeryone leaves...
                                                        One
                                                             By
                                                               One

And it really hurts when they cast you away
So I'm killing myself slowly...
                                                  Day
                                                        By
                                                            Day

Pain is a constant reminder that I'm terrified
Because I cant have you...
                                               Side
                                                      By
                                                         Side

Your words were sad,
And your expression of stone.
I waited and waited,
For your text on my phone...

A beacon you were,
To my darkness you shone.
Etched in my brain,
In every bone...

You were the winter
To my autumn glow,
That covered my branches,
With soft snow...

Passing down these city streets,
I see you in every window i look through..
And it breaks me piece by piece,
How would i look at myself, when even there i see you...

Only a month it was
Since i got to know you.
And i cherish every moment,
Every conversation every view...

Tortured by your absence,
I wanted someone to take this life...
God why you did this..?
She meant more then my life...

On the elevator
I told myself she is long gone...
Convincing myself
There is no reason to live on...

As i took those heavy steps,
Towards the edge an inch away...
I took a last final breath,
Only to realize it was already taken away...

So without a remorse
I letted it go...
But somehow i founded myself
On my bedroom floor...

It was only a nightmare
i thought to myself
I was not letting you go
i told myself...

May I entwine
In your pretty serenity,
Forever is a lie
                           Promise
                                          Me
                                               an
                                                   Eternity

You'll wake up sleepy in your bed,
You'll get up and wash your head.

You'll see my text on your phone,
I hope you'll wonder why I'm gone.

You'll get ready to go to school,
You'll see there an empty desk and stool.

Two or three days will pass,
Rumours will start spreading in our class...

My parents will come and say,
It was a tragedy that i passed away...

You'll come to my funeral, I hope you'll be brave,
As you watch them pray on an empty grave.

Only you knew that i disappeared that night...
Underneath the crimson moonlight...

So behind the shadows I'll watch you cry,
When you'll weep in my memory under the azure blue sky...

I will hope that you'll forget me and move on,
But i will cherish your memory and live on...

They'll forget my name in a day or two,
They've done this, before me too...

A town without me a blissful place,
In which my existence was erased...

Darkness grew with each night,
Things blurred before the sight.

Woes and cries of pain appeared,
Darkness grew and nightmares seared...

With each breath i suffocated,
In the fleeting madness i feel devastated.

This awful disguise is losing its touch,
Need something more to fool this bunch...

The only choice left is to run,
Im losing my sanity its causing burns...

But where to run from oneself?
Should i accept this broken self...?

Closed windows;
Shutted door.
Covered in sheets,
On my bedroom floor...

A new year night,
Yet a pitiful sight.
Knew it wasnt right,
But i wasn't putting up a fight.

Isolated mind;
With suicidal thoughts.
Pain; imaginary,
So i didnt fought...

A story of a past,
Still haunting the present.
A messed up "me",
The sight wasn't pleasant...

Already knew
I was losing control,
And a promise was all
That was saving this soul...

Mind
      RACING

Heart
       PACING

Muscles
          ACHING
 
Limbs
         SHAKING

Soul
       FADING

Smiles
         FAKING

I'm
     BREAKING...
                    I'm
                        BREAKING...

I grow fond of you with the each passing day,
You draw me close, in every way.

I wish things were different, what can i say
I'm just a wanderer I will move away...

But if you ever want me to stay
Reach me out because im no further than, just one call away...

Im wandering around in my own mind,
Hoping redemption is what I'll find...

Wondering if someone will want me to stay,
Making sure i wont go astray...

So will you anchor me down this path?
Cuz Im a wanderer, im bound to lose my path...

So when i stray will you call me from ashore?
Will you be my lighthouse, so i can explore...?

This may seem like a magic,
But believe me im tragic...

These words dont come out of thin air,
These are just a glimpse of scars, I've beared...

You've only seen the side I showed you
You've seen nothing its just a preview

But i give u credit for pointing out this sadness,
Im just kidding that was just my fondness...

Now You've taken a sip of my mind,
But Im just another drug, I wanted to remind...

So just leave me be before you get addicted,
Im just a random person who often gets sadistic

And i often say things like these to push you away
But deep down i too know i want you to stay...

Now off you go and laugh on my misery,
I've suffered enough and this too will be history...

I wanna express, what is on my mind,
But all i can do is smile and say nevermind..

A home was all i yearned to find,
But yet again i was left in a bind...

They say i spark with a different shine,
What is it of use when you turn away blind...

I guess my fate is already aligned,
So should I leave my thoughts confined?

I expect too much from this mankind,
When all they know is how to leave behind...

In the end there will be nothing left to find
Except a body, on a rope unkind...

Getting tired of these worldly affairs,
Always caught up in someone's snare.

Asking myself if this world is fair,
Looked up at the sky, for a sign, a flare...

Covered myself up in all those lies,
Sadness behind those gloomy eyes.

Letting out those silent cries,
Beneath which my soul slowly dies...

I'm starting to wonder
What caused this blunder

We were like rain,
But what caused the thunder...

Everyone is a burden in our life,
But we are the ones who chose which one is worth carrying...
.
.
.
And i chose YOU...

You say you wear an impenetrable mask,
And your emotions nothing but filled in a flask...
You say your smiles are nothing but fake,
The feelings you show are all but a flake.

So tell me the time spend was all made up,
That it was nothing but a fake stand up.
Tell me your words were nothin' but a joke;
And you were maintaining a desperate cloak.
Tell me those smiles were only a lie,
And you felt pity for my desperate sighs...
Tell me for you it was only a game,
Where you left me to die after giving me a name...

But no matter what you tell me, I wont let you go
Because it isn't in my veins to not grow what I sow
I would still end up all the same
Writing my poetry in your name