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I have a confession
I don't mind depression
It helped me make friends
But what if it ends
Would they ever stay
Even for one day
Maybe they would
No reason they should
I am worthless
Couldn't be less
My pain is unbearable
Chains so unwearable
My mind is my prison
By my own decision
Locked myself inside
Don't let me outside
I will destroy you
Though I don't mean to
My issues are contagious
Loving me is outrageous
So do yourself a favor
And make yourself a hater
Throw away the key
Before you can see
The monster that is hidden
I horse never to be ridden
Please just keep me caged
Never to be engaged
Are you the dream
or the one having the dream?
Are you the dream
Within a dream?
Are you the one
inhabiting the dream
of another one
who views you in his slumber
while you in his dream doth ponder
or are you the one
experiencing a dream of another?
A dream in which you see
the one who may be
the one dreaming of you
who is the other
that you in your dream doth seeā€¦.
Are you the dream
or the dreamer be?
Is the waking state a dream
or the dream the ultimate reality?
Are you both the dream
and the dreamer too?
Then this dream
our world is not for you...
An attempt to tempt temptation we're facing
The entire nation is wasting
While the time clock is racing
Sitting idle I dwell
Don't know what to do
A bottomless well
filled with good intentions
That I forgot to mention
while men's sons
climb the walls
Fingers bleed
so I choose to run
Pain outweighed only by guilt
An attempt to hide so no one would see
Added my hand by not lending a hand
The inevitable entropy

Criticize the critter's size
This infiltration among us
A monstrous demon
indeed in need of expatriation
The daily battle uphill
An upheaval, this weasel
An endless war of soldiers who sold their souls
Signed their mark on the dotted line
Became a mere dot left in time
Sand in the glass we know will not last
Last train leaves the station
Can not stay
Have been shunned

Should have listened when told
On an endless list now too old
The souls that time has forgotten
A swirl in the whirlpool for getting into this mess
A choice we did not choose
Being lost made us lose
A loser with nothing to lose
Loose with our lips
Quick with the fists
A tunnel with no light
The endless darkness in sight
Filled with fear, we do not fright
For what is wrong feels so right
Take the plunge
I just might
Endlessly spinning in time
while getting so high
Spinning out of control
This way I live, this way I die
Written: Early 2018

All rights reserved.
May I entwine
In your pretty serenity,
Forever is a lie
                           Promise
                                          Me
                                               an
                                                   Eternity
An eternity in your heart...
Closed windows;
Shutted door.
Covered in sheets,
On my bedroom floor...

A new year night,
Yet a pitiful sight.
Knew it wasnt right,
But i wasn't putting up a fight.

Isolated mind;
With suicidal thoughts.
Pain; imaginary,
So i didnt fought...

A story of a past,
Still haunting the present.
A messed up "me",
The sight wasn't pleasant...

Already knew
I was losing control,
And a promise was all
That was saving this soul...
Written on (1/1/19)
  Dec 2018 Mindless wanderer
CJ
Someone please control me,
from losing control,
of my uncontrolled feelings

Someone please control her,
from losing control,
of her uncontrolled feelings

Someone please control us,
from controlling each others,
uncontrolled feelings
I'm sorry...
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