Hobbies are there to help distract our minds
Something to take the edge off
Good or bad, taking many forms

My hobbies haunt me
Addiction in disguise
Dragging me down the dark path

I cannot stop
They do their jobs
Keeping me from the thought of you

I have hobbies
Some I cannot escape
I hope you don’t have the same

She was the pill
I was the addict
Now I’m just trying to overdose

I find myself zoning out at times
Wanting to say so much
But never really saying anything at all
Maybe this is for the best

What I think is better left unsaid
Opinions I leave on the inside
Never to spoken nor heard
None spoken by my lips but with the little voice in my head

I listen to others
Their sounds, their stories
Reading their words as they form them
But never really understanding

The same thoughts plaguing my mind
Like a broken record only played for one
Clouding self-confidence and determination
I’m left thinking

I wanted to see the world
All I had to do was look in your eyes

They say time heals all
But I still feel the pain

The clock ticks
Each second wasted without you

Even if you’re gone
Time marches on

I must do what is right
And endure the pain

I wish life was like a fairy tale
Bright colors and happiness
Soulmates with never-ending love

Life isn’t like that
Just cruel and non-forgiving
Everyone waiting for their happy ending

The feeling of craving
Your lips on mine

Hands softly holding one another
Distant souls combining as one

A connection made not just with lips
But of lustrous affection

Understand that in the moment
Everything is safe

Reassurance of unceasing love
Made with just one kiss

To the padlock clamped on the bridge
One engraved with our initials
Enclosed within a heart
I thank you
Holding ever strong
Against the abuse of storms
I wish love was as durable as you
With a broken heart
It is time
To remove the padlock clamped on the bridge

I know She exists
Somewhere, waiting for me
Her eyes as beautiful as the night sky
The image of Her taunting my brain

We’ll meet with a feeling of uncertainty
Clumsy fumbling of words
Heart racing beauty
I know She exists

She’ll cherish all my flaws
And still look inside
Seeing nothing special
But a boy with teary eyes

She will be there to wipe my tears
Along with fear and sadness
Her hands as soft as silk
I know She exists

One grows wiser with age
I’m younger so I must not understand

However, I did feel the pain of her leaving
Because of that I’ll grow ever smarter

We all see the world in different ways
Experiencing the same situation
But never really understanding it the same

I see this more as an art
Being spoken to individuality
Each having their own story
Waiting to be told

Pictures fade from wondering minds
Left to what is a distant memory

Once a happy moment now blurred
With the passing of time

I want to remember
The feeling of those days

Now dissolving into nothing
Just as images on a screen

You call yourself a monster
But I’m the one to blame
You found happiness
When I couldn’t find the same

I was only happy with you
Looking into your eyes
Never knowing how much I held you back
Not ever wanting to cut ties

But our story comes to an end
I need to say goodbye
I want to believe that I can make you happy
But we both know that a lie

I want to hate you
Complain about you to friends
Ask what I did wrong
But that won’t get you back

I want to see you
And explain all my mistakes
Tell you I’ll change
Any way you want me to

I want to feel
My hand softly in yours
Show you that I’ll do anything
To keep you from walking out that door

But all these wants mean nothing
You’d still end up gone
Nothing I can do
But wonder why you left

I wanted to think you were different
So unlike the rest
I held you close
Growing too attached

Trust is a fragile heart
Just waiting to be broken
I gave it to you
Not knowing the pain you’d give me

I was blind
I didn’t want to see
Knowing how it would end
But I’d always come right back

I held you above the rest
Not wanting to let you down
Before i knew it you were gone
You were just one of the same.

My memory has this funny thing
I can remember words
Other times I can remember environments
But never really being able to combine the two

When I remember times with you
Everything around becomes blurry
But you stand there clear as day
You stick out of the recollection with your beauty

The gorgeous gleam in your eyes
No matter the time passed
This detail stays
The look you gave when you used to love me

There are many types of Smiles
Some are happy, some are fake
We all have a Smile
Somewhere, waiting to be awake

The Smiles that we wear can show so much pain
But only to people who want to see
Until then, I will put on my mask
Wondering who I am to be

I’m not supposed to be this way
At such a young age
Others so full of life
I’m stuck here bound to my cage

One day I’ll find my smile
Giving me a reason to be whole
Until then I’ll be here
Waiting for everything to take its toll

I tend to feel this feeling
The feeling broken, passed lovers feel
Feelings of a statue on a cold, dark night
The chilling Pit of loneliness bringing me ever near

Who am I to deny faith
Maybe this is who I am
A sad little boy
Trapped in a state of unknowing

“This can’t be all,” I cry
But there isn’t a soul around
Therefore, I stand in the Pit
Accepting what I am

I promised I’d never leave
You used it as a tool

Now I stand alone
Feeling the pain of betrayal

I am the second choice
The one that holds you together
The listener on the sidelines waited to be called

I am the best friend that’s never seen as more
Mending all your wounds of the other guys you so chose
Never overstepping the title you have given me

I make a promise that remains unbroken
That I would never leave your side
Always be there for you, wiping the tear from your eye

I am the second choice
I will never be the first
Only haunting the feeling that you’ll see me as the worst

I’m always here to listen
Show you that I care
Even through the hardest of times

You come to me in pieces
So broken and frail
Never knowing why

Bit by bit
I make you whole
Using myself as a donor

Only payment is watching you heal
That smile shining back through
Making you one again

Little did I know you would go back
Cutting me out
Only to be shattered again

Coming back to me
Expecting to be fixed
But I’m running out of pieces

I can’t sleep
As I lay there thinking of you
No amount of sheep counting can lead my mind a stray

The thought of your face singed in my mind
Once a pleasant sight, now a taunting image of what’s gone
I cannot sleep

The ceiling being a blank canvas
A background for the thought of you
Blankets holding me as you once had

You’ve left
Only a remnant of a fading memory
And I cannot sleep

When you found me, I had never found my way
However, with you the darkness goes away

With you, I feel immoral, like nothing is ever grey
Now that time has passed, the thoughts of you fades away

Those times, I felt whole and happy. I wanted you to stay
Moments like those fills my head with words I dare not say today

“I love you” “I miss you” rolled off my tongue every other day
Now they are just letters that make up words that I cannot think to say

I hope you’re doing well, thoughts of you in my head
My mind still full of words I cannot say

I’m lost and can’t be found
Having a map without contents
A compass without a needle

Harsh environment with no detail
People all around
But no one to recognize

Soft cries from a distance
Surrounded noise but not hearing a word
Trying to understand what I did wrong

I’m left without direction
No determination to end up at a destination
Running but ending up at the beginning

I lay waiting
Accepting my faith by the hands of the unknown
I wake up realizing what I’m bound to be