I look at her when she looks at fancy cars
And think i gatta make my dreams work
I look at her as she looks at old pictures of her parents in love
And i thought **** i gatta give a love like this
I look at her as she looks into the stars
As she conceals her scars within
I look at her shade a tear of days of crying
I look her tear herself apart
Cause the system hasn't been fair
The system has torn and torched her
Butched her dreams... And fed her fear
I look at her though from a different perspective
I see more woman in her smile
A strong big hearted being
With the ability to make the universe sing
String the thoughts of angels as they organise their colours to combine
I see fine art in. Its best form
And this all i see from a distance

i guess i do like the pain
cause i laugh after its done
how crazy it was
that my mum actually bit me
no like true story my mum bit me

you might think she is abusive
but i like her character art is impressive
she turns totally off reason
keeps her senses imprisoned

i tried to explain
but the rage rain rained upon me
all she wanted was to stroke me
i swear i lose my mum in that moment
cause i try look in her eyes and she nowhere near

she strokes me and unknowingly i hold her shambok in my hand
i stare at her to understand
but all it does it highs her temper
now she is pulling her shambok a little stronger
i try to talk but she is trying to pull
she cant listen
and she plays victim

the struggle continues
i watch her anger elevate and it fascinates me, weirdly
so i resist a little more
she starts pulling me to the kitchen
now the scene has more attention

pulling out drawers
trying to put hand on anything pain inflicting
and still i am resisting

made it to the door and out
her voice a bit loud
realising that whatever i try will not demotivate her
so i gave up and let her, as usual
let her stroke me to her satisfaction
and goes on and on
about me being stubborn because i am older
how i think i am stronger cause i am a man
man, whats wrong with mum

she strokes me with her shambok still
as i stood still
amused by her accusations
but am patient and let her

after she done she is angry still but satisfied though
now her eyes glow
she tries to conceal it by playing anger
i smile
it took me a while to understand, while
she was in her act
i had travelled mindlessly in my mind
thinking how a silly situation
of her calling me and me not responding
had become a series of chaos

little packages do become dynamites
this is what bothers me though
i do have a thrill everytime we have a misunderstanding
i dont understand this
i guess i am just my mother's child

I could tell you what is on my mind
That I'm worried and scared and anxious
That i really wish i was alone right now
But then I'd be naked.

I could tell you all my strengths and weaknesses
I could tell you that I'm afraid of the dark when i sleep so i turn on the lights
But i could tell you that I'm also afraid of the shadows and what lurks behind the curtains.
But that would make me naked.

I could tell you that i hate photographs
and photoshoots.
And that it hurts to pose.
For a picture
To be analysed by a glass lens
Only to have the best parts of my life
erased by an editing app
Because nobody wants to see scars on Instagram
I could tell you that it makes me sick
And that i wish people loved the real thing
But then I'd be naked

I could tell you that I'm living my dream at the expense of my mother's love
Her smile has become an eclipse
Rare and blinding.
Not mine to see, anymore
I miss her though she misses me too i know but I chose the devil in my head
But that would make me naked

You could tell me about that time last year
You couldn't get out of bed
When you wouldn't get out of bed
Because your heart felt like lead
When only your bed could hold you back
And your sheets could hug you better
And I'd understand because I've been there before
Because then you'd be naked

Without the clothes and baggage
That shame us into silence
The shoes of depression
that lead us into violence
suicidal thoughts just cause
We can't be honest
And don't have the courage to simply be naked.

Prefer the flimsy armor
Of "how are you's" and "i am fines"
Fearing to expose what lies under these
Clothes
Genuine interactions and intimate confessions

I am tired ...i am tired
Of these clothes
I want to be naked
Not behind closed doors
But right here
So should i start removing

I Let you right click my heart
And i gave you all the  options
You could have saved me
But you hit the "send to" button
And sent me away in a flash

I gatta work hard
Really hard
Give my daughter something
To idolize
Cause mum wanted a famous father
Well I will give you that
Cause you mean a lot
I go take the world into my palms
If it that will make you
Look into my eyes
With those twinkle little eyes
Again
None matter how heavy
It will weigh upon my shoulders
For you I will pull on further
Even a mile more when I have walked a thousand
1001 are just numbers
Figures to count our blessings
Well we won't use numbers baby
We not the einsteins
But by Bernini's works we are the
Illumination
We in the heavens baby
We the stars and moon
Exposed for political gains
Daughter see dad is a soldier
His wise too
He don't fight wars we would never win
Dad is warrior
His smoke signals shall be seen

If it's really you,
my heart has been longing for
and it's not mistaken like before,
Where else would I want to go?

Don't let them see the light they might be bright and Conqour us.......

Was it us, perhaps, and our stubborn ways,
         leading a familiar inharmonious song
in hopes one day
will maybe learn to appreciate the              
   rhythm,  
if the tune played on too long.

then soon I shall be forty



           is it then
              when
I shall begin to live?

I am not saying my poetry is perfect
But at least let it be good enough

What if your friend is texting me
While i am texting you
And you ignoring me
Like um ignoring her

How best do you say LOVE IS BLIND
How best do you express it?

Is it to you part of the puzzle that completes the picture
Dull, Bright colors that makes you appreciate
the pain
the hurt
the love
the smiles.....

How best do you say LOVE IS BLIND
How best do you express it?

Do you break into a brief giggle

IMPERFECTIONS.
ACCEPTANCE.

How does one accept your imperfections and love you
How does one oversee your humiliating form and call you a MASTERPIECE.
His universe.

LOVE IS BLIND.
What price would you have to pay to be loved, if it wasn't?

How best do you say LOVE IS BLIND
How best do you express it?

LOVE IS BLIND.
I fell into your arms and chose to ignore the brewing storm
I had nothing to hold onto
You broke me. Once. Twice.
I love you.

So should i leave because you torture me
or
Should i stay because you chose to accept me

Rap is hard
You have to nail the ascent
As it ascends keep the rythm
Ryme but with meaning
Spitting splitting their minds
Into thinking wat you seeing
Wear your eyes for a second
Not forgeting reason
Not **** about the ******* u spent the season kissing
Dissing a disease in every verse
In each case
An issue of whose ggetting more paper
Famous feature, who gives a **** who was witchya
I like to believe rap is art
Poetry, painting a picture of your perspective
Respective enough Ts you who holds the bigger share
In music I hope u use it to dare
These kids who believe in you to make a change
Not messages of disorder and rage
Flip that page forget it
Skip, cut , merge into a better clean version of bars
Educate relate heal scars
Cries of sorrow are wiped through you
Dies and a little turn of mood
As I plug in these phones in my ears
Fears should race
Trace back myself to belief
Pace back to relief, relive
Hope in me
See I nid to be told um gonna make it
That's rap music

Anything Me Knows,



                  Me Knows.

Um spoiled for choice
As i look at all these beautiful african girls
I like  i like oMampofu
So. Filled with life
They sparkle with untired enthusiasm
Waiting to explore. To kno more, knowledge seekers
Leaning on life's edges....they excite me
But then i really do fear the power
oMaSibanda , abangehlulwa thambo strong women
They stand tall to life's demons
Ever open claws defending her family
I bite my lips as i ponder over
OmaKhumalo.,, the royal blood of amandebele
Enadla umuntu limyenga ngendaba
Uphelele lomfazi as she walks kudikiza umhlaba
Their skin so smooth dreams glide through it
And they know it
so they leave trails of pride when they pass by

I am spoiled of choice
Really the african girls are beautiful
I sometimes lose myself in the fine tuned voices
Of oMaNcube
OMpangazitha   bluberring sweet nothings
With a thousand stars held in her eyes
She suprises me sometimes
how she paints dark hours
Into abstract art with no care at all
Bending the rules to capture a smile

OmaMoyo power in speech
Their tongue builds a nation
For Her lips even with such authority stills spill lustful imaginations
Um spoilt for choice
Africa is beautiful such beautiful daisies
The humble sweet Mandlovu, ogatsheni, ontaba engabhodwa ngale kwayo
Big heart and such understanding
Silently holding up cries within
Soundproofing the screams of pain
With a smile that melts my soul
And oooh
OMaNyathi with natural yellow skin
Light beings colouring our dark covers
Uyapenda isizwe,
Obuhle obungakhuzeki
Confidently Conqouring man's heart
Um spoiled for choice
These sons of africa have made pillars of daughters
Each tribe holds omama, oauntie, ogogo, odadewethu,
Black African ladies
Forged in the wilds of africa
Taught to respect and love
I crown all african ladies
With fresh picked daises of my appreciation
For you..... You ladies of Africa you are
Queens
Cause of every imperfection
With every stumble,
Every struggle
You dont let trouble cling on
You walk on
high in your red stiletos
Tight brown pumps,
Black polished sandals
And dust off yesterday's thoughts
Cause u kno today is another day
Another chance to conquor
But if you dnt today u still wake up ivin. More equiped
Cause u an African woman

I am spoiled for choice my heart
Can not decide
My heart can not decide..

a little more time ,
that's all we needed.

a little warm hug,
to feel safe at home.

I wrote her a poem
But she still left
Now these words of love
Are but salt to my heart

Sometimes we tend to define some things in a whole lot of words
When only a few are needed
Like 'i love you'
Doesnt need further defination
Plain and simple to describe a feel thats not as plain and simple

I am Jae
I am a poet

True love.

how strong you are
to wear such beauty with such a scar
drew your childhood picture in cries and screams
but it was you who sort out the colour in it
i adore you
i love you.......

We are all newbies to today
noone before us has yet lived it.

Mayday mayday
I hit herb on the wrong Thursday
Now my thoughts are a pandemic to my head
I don't need to make sense
Let the words dance
In no particular rhythm
Let the world freeze
Just give it reason
From a soul alone n bleeding
Keep on  keep on singing

I see you,
I see you and me,
I see,
I see what we could be
But I do see you don’t like me

I feel,
I feel a bit neglected,
I really do feel broken,
It is you who lead me on, kept me going

Now am mad I do not want to understand,
I am mad you don’t see this good looking man,
Mad, you with that guy I saw you with last weekend,
So mad I have plotted revenge..

I want to call at the peek of the night just to disturb your sleep,
Make fun of you in public till your eyes waters drip
Slip something in your drink get you wasted and let you embarrass yourself
While I giggle in some corner somewhere

I want to spit on you
Poison you
Watch you die, while I relate to you,
How things could have been,
Till your last breath…..

But I couldn’t even if I wanted to
I lose myself at the sight of you,
And when you smile,
I love you again
Tolerate the pain

Guess I am content,
With me loving you,
At least I get to………..

Failure builds anger
And anger clouds judgement
Now the light is dim
Reason becomes slim
And you hate ....

Stare paper, stare back
Shall I permit you to be blank
Liberated from the atrocities that make us the beings we are
The sins of our fore fathers that haunt us in our sleep.
They signed away our lives on blank papers and now our souls belong to the human devil.
Now we stare at the paper while it stares back at us
Now the paper binds us
Shall i permit you to be blank?

Stare paper, stare back
Free of Restless hearts chasing love
Age breathing down my neck
Dreams yet to become
And the blood on my hands
Blood of men who died for possessing an opinion
Stains the paper thats stares back at me
and i wonder
Shall i permit you to be blank?
When my kids' kids shall cry of a crime i did not commit,
Shall i permit you to be blank?
When all i know is suffering
And pain
I will not leave you blank
I will write till my fingers bleed no more
till there is no space on the paper that stares back at me
And maybe just maybe it won't stare back.

one day I looked at people
I saw anger
expressions of frustration
as he pondered over the deeds of his son
how he had given his all
but he still turned out rebellious

one day I looked at people
I saw pain
she couldn't hide it away
memories of her little daughter
how she vanished into the cruelity of the world
how the world had used her,
abused her
mama's little girl

one day I looked at people
I saw guilt
people were guilty of oppressing
other people
people needed guidance
to be guided away from greed, hate  
he needed his father's guidance
if he were to be a better man

one day I looked at people
I saw deception
lies, people telling other people
fabricating, conneiving convinicing
dragging them away from the truth
Ruth, couldn't stop
she believed every story they told her
men's promises

one day I looked at people
I saw hope
I saw him fall in love
it scared me
it didn't stop him
he lost his soul in her eyes
he didn't care about her past
he scrapped her rust
forgot all the stories of harsh conditions
she had been through

one day I looked at people
I saw confusion
fear of the unknown
fear to take a leap of faith
cause she wasn't sure he would understand her
so she told herself
she couldn't let another soul into her heart
not again

one day I looked at people
I saw

one day I looked at people 
I saw anger 
expressions of frustration 
as he pondered over the deeds of his son
how he had given his all 
but he still turned out rebellious

one day I looked at people
I saw pain 
she couldn't hide it away
memories of her little daughter 
how she vanished into the cruelity of the world
how the world had used her, 
abused her 
mama's little girl

one day I looked at people 
I saw guilt 
people were guilty of oppressing 
other people 
people needed guidance 
to be guided away from greed, hate  
he needed his father's guidance
if he were to be a better man

one day I looked at people 
I saw deception 
lies, people telling other people 
fabricating, conneiving convinicing 
dragging them away from the truth
Ruth, couldn't stop 
she believed every story they told her 
men's promises 

one day I looked at people 
I saw hope 
I saw him fall in love 
it scared me
it didn't stop him 
he lost his soul in her eyes 
he didn't care about her past
he scrapped her rust 
forgot all the stories of harsh conditions 
she had been through 

one day I looked at people
I saw confusion 
fear of the unknown 
fear to take a leap of faith 
cause she wasn't sure he would understand her 
so she told herself 
she couldn't let another soul into her heart 
not again

One day i looked at people
I saw a system
A brokken system
A paralysed proper people
Pride driven
Pius leaded
By bias leaders who are as bróken as the system
Because they are people too
For he chose politics probably because
With love he had failed
He had failed to listen to hiss father too
So father hated him
He gathered

One day i looked at people
I saw a fight
Not for whats right
But to survive
Cause that's all she knew
Ruth had lived from one bed to another
Looking to fill the gap of the man who bedded her mum n left
But the Father figures made her a minute's satisfaction
She thought thats life
Even when he presented love
She thought itwas just a way to restrain her life
Love life n romance wás a thing for childs books
She gathered

One day i looked at people
I saw me
I saw how each of us are all the same
Humans
People
**** sapien
Same emotions
Same reactions
Same intentions
Same tortures
Same pains
Same same same

Cause if u grew with no father like ruth did and a mum who believed in love n had been broken hearted
And you witnesed her pain everday
Killing herself everday for you to live
Watched Man devour her
You would understand...you too would be just another Ruth
If you grew up with a father and no mother's touch
Father would wanna mold u to be him strictly
Stoping you from being you
Because he knows wat the world is like
Cause he also has met gals like ruth
Who are heartless
But is ******* you ...punishes you for the mistakes he has done
For with no woman's touch the discipline is too harsh
So when you break out of the shackles u live
You live you ...you leave all his warnings cause all this time he kept you locked in his world
Because you think it was all for his best not yours
Nqobani...thinking you would conquer his world for him ....nc nc uyabheda

one day i looked at people
I saw ruth
I saw nqobani
I saw you
I saw me
I saw all we needed was people to admit
That we all just people.the same
Stop judging but relate
Stop assuming
Stop discriminating
Cause him her could hv been you ......

Look at people
We are the people .....

Sing morning bird,
         Sing
Same song from yesterday
          Yet
Still you sing it beautifully



*#RandomPoets

Prone to the darkness,guess
That's why my heart succumbed
To the shadow. I thought giving in was fated,yielding to the blackness was all
I needed to do!now its provin to be detrimental.
The destructive forces have become my warders. I curl up wth my hands tight around my stomach,tormented by the placebo effect.
Day & Night I feel my soul slowly escaping
from the cage that I once called my body
I like it though here
The deserted corners of fear street
Have become sweet home to me
Forged to accept these demons as cousins
I no longer fight it
Guess they were right
Familiarize yourself with the devils and the devil shall not scare u

i dedicated her a song
and i saw her eyes reflect joy
she smiled

i thought to myself
she deserves the whole playlist
cause one love song
does not describe the song her lips play in me

Its hard not to fall
when you tripping on emotions

i                                       f i could
               shape poetry                  what shape
                     would                           purely be-
                         fit it                             and tell
                              my                     intentions
                              well                enou­gh
                                  shape      these
           ­                        like how i feel
                                                     i am in                               complete
                           i have a                            hole
somewhere                   in my soul  


my

                                     emo tions



a       r                    e

all                         O                     V
                                                         E                           R

how can i then shape poetry when i cant keep myself in shape

let him speak
let Augustus
Deceive us
Once more

for no truth
Lives on his tongue
His words sour with lies

but if you willing
I say "Let him speak"

poetry keeps me going
poetry keeps me going
poetry keeps me going..............