I look back at all the things that I've done,
For a girl that i never won.

All the trinkets that sparkled
Under the moonlit sky.
Accompanied by a silence
As i waited for a reply.

All the smiles i created,
Just to see you elated
For a moment
That lasts forever in mine eyes.

All the poems writ and read
But never read.
The longing for you to understand the words,
Yet at the same time, not .


And after all the sorrows,
After all the pain,
I'm still where I started.
Standing in-front of a girl,
Trying to make her smile.

I think back on my childhood.
Times that we're still good,
Before they switched it up,
Like, "Now it's time for adulthood."

Spent 18 years behind a desk,
Told to play at break,
Now life feels unrelated, and it feels like a **** waste.

It isn't useless, it just isn't right.
Train me to throw fists,
Then toss me into a knife fight.

What'd you prepare me for?
I still struggle with my taxes,
I got a degree, but it feels like I'm still stuck with all the masses.

After all these years,
It feels like I was taught wrong,
Guided down a path that my heart and soul didn't sit right on.

And every now and then
I start to fight back,
But no one likes it when you start to vary off the track.
They pushback
Like, "No, not that".
But I am not you.
So, **** that!
And I struggle but you can't see it though.
Always talk about me like I'm a lazy bloke,
Say I'm part of the lazy folk,
But your path to happiness,
Is my ******* hell road.

I think back on my childhood.
Times that we're still good...

At least, that's how it felt back then...

Too many people
Think these silly games can work,
Because you  don't understand your own worth.
Trust me when i say,
"He's not going to stand for you at the end of day,"
But you can't let him slip away.
You hold on too tight,
So when you fall it hurts worse
As you slip into your darkest night.

But I've been standing here warning you,
By your side because im concerned for you.
But  it's hard to see you fall twice
Before you learn the truth.

Trust me, I've seen this play too many times,
Romeo Romeo don't give a **** if Juliet dies.
But I have to stand here trying to catch you when you fall fast.
And you're not the only one getting hit by the backlash.

I know that love is blind because your heart doesn't have eyes,
Yet you're still the only one who can't see past his black lies.
Love with your heart,
But still think with your mind.
Or your heart will keep breaking
Saying,"True love is hard to find."

To tell you the truth,
I  did warn you.
It might sound harsh,
But it's true.
Now all I can do is tell you it'll be alright,
As your tear drops glisten off my shoe.

"Are you okay?"

                           I'm always hurt,
                          Always in pain,
                          Every inch of my being
                          writhing.
                          An­d if you could fathom the
                         chaos in my head,
                         So monsterous that I pray you
                        never come to understand it.

                        Every moment of every day my
                        soul cries,
                       And if you looked into my eyes
                       you'd see it all...
                       Everything I hide behind a smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Oh little one,
You try to stand too soon.
Looking up at the stars,
With not a glance at the moon.

Oh little one,
Trying to run for the finish
To cover the most ground,
But never stopping to looking around.

Oh little one, Oh little one,
You stumble and fall down.
I hear your scream and your call.
Yet the best I can do,
Is let you lift yourself from the fall.

In my spare time I look for quotes,
Words truly worthy of note.
Love is where i land,
Looking for thoughts with an outreaching hand
To tell me I'm not alone.

I think hard and fall deep
As i stare at these words,
Envisioning what they speak.

"I'll tell you what love is," they say.
I agree in a way.
But it always leaves me running through a Labyrinth in my mind,
Searching for the love that I wish to find.

What do I want that's worthy of note,
That someone will someday see,
And feel the emotion in what I've wrote?

"Love is stupid. It's illogical. It's broken. Yet somehow it's the most fulfilling feeling there is. Love is when a smile is enough, and you'd do anything for it."

I laugh through my words
So my pain goes unheard.
I joke through my darkest hour,
To drain the pain of power.

You won't see me frown,
But that doesn't mean I'm okay.
I'll take the crown,
"King of laughs,"you say.
I'll take the crown,
But the pain doesn't wash away.

All I need is a single glance,
And the words pour out.
The poems write themselves.
And the songs sing on their own,

All I need is just one look,
Just a peak of your eyes.
Over the top of your book.
Just a glimpse of your smile.

A word from your mouth,
That etches itself into my mind.
A giggle from your lips,
That dances its way onto a page.

A touch of your hand,
That tingles my skin.
A playful punch at my arm,
That jabs at my heart.

Everything you do,
Everything you are,
Is enough to inspire.
You are… my muse.

Love was what you said,
Yet the ***** on my finger bleeds just as red
As the roses you'd give as an apology,
With words drained of heart.

Thorns pierce my skin
As you do my heart.
Petals shed as life fades,
And from red to black they fall away.

A rose,
By any other name,
Still bares thorns all the same.
Hold careful
When held to heart,
Even the smallest blades can tear your apart.

The kids run amok
Setting fire and flame.
Trying to fix the world to which they lay claim,
Yet burn to ground all the good that remains.


Ignorance is the very thing that they oppose,
Yet ignorantly they justify the way that it is shown.
Pulling close the blackout curtains,
No light dare reach their shallow minds,
Filled with dreams of A freedom,
Yet robbing it blind.

All the things defended,
Yet they remain so easily offended.
When words don't come out as clear as intended
They twist it and turn till it is all but mended,
Then fight valiantly for its defeat
Looking not at any of the good,
But only at bad tweets.

Following the crowd,
A mob that only looks down at their feet.
March for it all and fill the streets,
Never looking at the facts,
Because it does not fit the narrative that they preach.


These kids run amok.

Dive in deep with me,
Let the waves wash over
And take us to eternity.

Hold me in your arms
And I'll hold you in mine,
Let the blue of the water,
Replace that of the sky,
But none of it matters like the blue in your eyes.

We'll sink fathoms below,
Where none dare go.
We'll go further down than the world knows,
And find paradise in a world unknown.

We'll drown in our love,
As bubbles pop at the surface.

These 2 sides feud on the inside.
Neither wrong, yet neither right.
Only different perspectives that collide.

Both logical.
Both in conflict.
There is no compromise,
No middle ground to be found.

Both war at the heart,
Neither yields or relinquishes their part.
They rage on through the night,
Through the day,
Unrelenting in their passion.

Every so often a foothold is lost,
And onward pushes the enemy/heroes...
Retaliation is a certainty,
And so it goes perpetually.
A tug of war wherein there is no real victor.

They tell me to choose,
Yet neither is right to me...
And neither wrong.
They say it is simple,
Yet lack the context and perspective to struggle as I do.

I think the biggest mistake I ever made
As I wrote these words upon a page,

Was the thinking that these lines were a limited stage
Thinking that my work was defined by a structure
Of quatrains or sestets or rhyming couplets.

Was thinking that there even needed to be structure
That there needed to be a rhyme.
My mistake was thinking that poetry has a look
That poetry has a flow, a correct way in which it has to be done
But poetry is not the amount of lines that you write
Or the amount of times you can rhyme the words at the end of a sentence

Because words that rhyme can still amount to no substance
Because poetry cannot be defined by AABB
Because my poetry is nothing but a depiction of me

So now I write from my heart
From my soul
From me as a whole
And if my emotion slips through the cracks
Filling this void with exuberant emotion
Then so be it
Because this is my showcase
And this is me
And on this page
Is my poetry

The smell of roses,
So sweet a scent.
Yet held in hand,
You insist on pricking my skin.

Right now I'm feeling dead inside,
But sometimes it really  feels like worlds collide.
Try as I might
I can't make all these emotions subside.

They say "You know it's real when it hurts",
But I can't stand to do this over and over
And not question the worth.

There's only so many blows you can take,
Before blow for blow it takes all your are,
And leaves you in a state
Of heartlessness
Broken apart and it's
Just easier to not feel
Than to feel part of this.

But you can't understand the struggle that I'm going through.
Everything everyone says and my overthinking just puts me
Over the edge.
I'll sit on top the ledge
Drinking from a bottle of gin,
And let fate decide where I fall.

Potted in soil that nurtures naught,
With petals of suede
Whose shade changes at a touch,
All in a state of forever bloom atop an ungrowing stem.

These petals don’t fall,
Lest it be plucked from rose.
These stems don’t grow,
Yet the inanimity gives immortality.

Stagnant.
Never growing,
Never dying,
Never living…