For the years I’ve been alive
How am I just now seeing the truth
Did I deny simply because I was terrified
Why didn’t I notice it sooner
Why are so many who look like me dying for senseless reasons
Did that cop forget to protect and serve
That American was screaming for an important reason
Is it red, white, and blue
And everything that makes our nation seem less wrong
And more right
Or has it been Black vs. White
This whole time
Was I shielding my eyes from the truth
From the terrifying fact that
Murderers have left this nation in pieces
But despite their weapons of discrimination
We must continue to fight
For a simple reason
That reason being why I was growled at
Like an animal as I held the door freely
For those my ancestors hid from
Why a little girl was taught to hate me
Simply because her parents believed my skin should be corrected
Why a customer felt the urge to get a confirmation from me
That she wasn’t another racist
Don’t they know I’m not a disease
I don’t need a cure
My skin is my skin
If you cut me open
You will see my blood is also red
And my heart beats like your own
And every beat matches hundreds of unspoken words
That carry a devotion to love, justice, and equality
Or as I would like to say
Red, white, and blue
Those who look like me have become an
And those with lighter skin, and brighter eyes
And everyone else like them are all categorized into
Don’t they know that there is no us and they
It’s we the people
Not they the people
And for those who still mock my skin
For those who believe there’s a correction
For those who growl and shout at me
Know that my complexion is everything worthy of perfection
My Blackness will forever be louder
And all because
Will never know that when I am cut open
My blood bleeds
Red, white, and blue
We are weathered this way
So it's best to go with the wind
Not to be swayed by every strong breeze but be open and ready to embrace the change
In the seventh house the soul of the observer sits
Feeling everything so deeply, seasoned by experiences of loves gifts
Creating new roots, uprooting or driving them deeper into the ground
Still gaining more understanding from new truths that we have found
And what is always innerstood is that we must first love ourselves if we ever want to be capable of loving someone else to create healthy growth
Cuz premature love could be like that of a weed and choke out all potential
and we'll never know what could have been
Even so let us continue to learn as this world continues to spin
Grow a beautiful garden,
water it and feed it and give it sunlight.
stick your hands inside yourself,
like a child sticks their hands into the dirt,
and rip out the painful parts,
even if it freaking hurts,
your pain for beauty,
weave the painful threads into life and
you'll grow up,
The thing I've learned about demons inside
that you can't seem to ward off,
is that you shouldn't waste any more time
trying to fight them
or banish them.
They are quite stubborn and ruthless.
Instead, you should be aware that they exist,
and learn to accept them as a part of you.
Give them a small corner in your mind to live in,
know where they sit, but ignore them.
Let them sit alone in their dark room.
Eventually, they go pretty silent out of bordem.
Other times, they break through...
& when they start to come out, just yell:
"Go back to your room!"
This usually works for me. :)
Other times, I just exercise or write.
DISCLAIMER: this does not mean ignore all your negative thoughts and bottle them up. Self-growth is one of the most powerful and enjoyable things in life; it's also very stressful. But sometimes there are things about ourselves we just have to accept. I have to accept that I have an addictive personality and that I sometimes make too many assumptions with my wild imagination. Whenever I get the urge to overuse, I say no, or I go hoop. Whenever I create scenarios in my head, I say nope, it's not true until I see it.