Sweet one, dear lost friend
you have moved to the sky, on a higher plain,
free of your darkest pains.
Nestled there, hugging the stars,
surrounded by colors you so foundly wore.

I wish we could have had more time,
time to laugh or share a pint.
But I know you're safe, settled in.
Dancing moonbeams and rocking out to the big bang

I know the grief will someday vanish.
Once time has healed our gaping wounds
the hole you've left will one day fill
with new and exciting thrills.

But when I hear a corn song,
or taste the bubble of a stella
I will think fondly of you and smile.
When a girl with curls of color crosses my path,
I'll turn and wonder if your her.
Maybe I'll yell "hey Ally Progar"
and she will stare like I'm crazy girl.

I want to thank you for the person you were,
for living life the way you want.
No reservations, with a giant heart
I wish you were here, and in some way you are,
never forgotten,
our shining Ally star.

A dragon came to my window on last night's silver winds.
Her rainbow wings set like sails, carrying scales and limbs.

Claws of tiny knives, perched the ledge without a sound.
Steamy breath escapes, shrouding her giant frame in clouds.

The beauty of the creature, no mortal could deny.
Hypnotized by the majesty, it's logic I deny.

I ponder her countenance, good or evil, friend or foe?
And without much debate, I find my feet have touched the floor.

To the window latch I stride, drunk with disillusion.
I lift the lock, then push a shove, force the frame to loosen.

The silver winds billow forth, crisp with scented magic.
The dragon calls out, her ancient voice, deep and warm with passion.

She promises no harm would fall me, that dragon's don't attack.
She invites me for a twilight ride, across the moon and back.

The night hovered darkly, under wide spread wings
I, the small explorer, grab hold of the dragon's scaly skin

Aloft the great beast, soaring high above those below
I am tickled with a simple feeling, ready and willing to explore

I turn and wave goodbye to my tiny window ledge
Swirled in magical feelings, my dragon soars the winds

What is it about that visceral sting?
A slap laced in venom
Oh, how it rips the skin
tearing our scars clean
Opened to the air,
the wounded will scream

A sophisticated song
Rupturing a forgotten well.
What is it about that sting?

Painful cuts bleed masterpieces
Our art is within
The viscous call it out
The hurt pours the shroud
What is it about that visceral sting?

I will walk across threshholds long forgot
armed with the conviction, that kindness is not lost
I will stand tall against those who wish my fall
wielding a magic tucked inside my chest wall

I will not surrender, I will not bleed
once overcome a dark relenting need

I will cross thresholds never broke
I will shout the words no one ever spoke
rumbling low, a vibrating scream
echoing wide inside my dreams

My words are like liquid,
spilling over the ledge of my mind.
A mountain range of phrases, separated by time

I don't understand myself, nor love myself.
I'm stuck, trapped with a person I can't stand.
I guess that's adult life,
accepting your own misery,
citizens of this wasteland.

I can't remember if I told you,
but I like it when you stay.
You don't have to say anything
only music should play
You don't have to pretend anything
only our truest selves remain

I can't remember if I told you,
but I like to see your face.
You don't need any makeup on
only bare skin to grace
You don't have to look anyway
only your truest self remains

I can't remember if I told you,
but I love it when you stay.
You are next to me,
only soft hands at play
You don't have to look away
my loving touch will remain

I need you to stay.

Peel back the scales
the blackened bits
the blistered redness
the purple putrid scabs
inside are paper thin cuts
unhealed

The deepest cuts, like drippings
gnawed tapered hangings
darkest meats, dragging
separating from bone

Boiled sores, slit scars
sewn together like cotton threads
Needles stab holes (pave avenues) for drugs
We hand sickness a gun

They slip, slump away
like Christmas day, here and gone.
We might remember
or not.
We might just live on.

I'm alive, I guess
slowly rot,
green to purple, putrid flesh

Spots that maggots eat, or lay
but still I live, a walking corpse
down crippled way.

The avenue whines
the boardwalk abandoned
like holy shrines, sings
a language long forgot
The younger can not help,
their flesh hangs, wet

The stones we walk, layered cement
over battles fought
Soggy terrain flooded plain
memories nurtured with death, fead.
Lush meadows green,
nurtured by the bodies we left,
hanging flesh

Drippings, of the deepest cut

If all around me the world was ending,
The here and now collapsing breath by breath
Would you be standing close to me
whispering how we met?

Would your hand be warm,
flush against my cheek?
Brushing tears from falling,
rushing like a creek.

If brimstone fire flames rose high,
Scorching all that live
Would you cast a magic spell,
a protective cage to give?

If all the lights were smothered out
and darkness sank across the ground
would you stand tall against the black?
Your heart, my light bulb, forever bound?

She used to come to me in whispers, hushed under the calm of the early morning.
"Just like her, just like her, you know you are"
I ignored the noise for years.
I had almost forgot to listen, he made me forget.

A fairy tale prince, riding in on a steed to slay my whispered monster
It starts that way, like a story book or a poem.
the weight of words lift
kisses on my forehead
Whispers can't be heard over a heartbeat next to mine.

It starts that way, all beauty and shine
somewhere, at some point, things grey
Whispers return, a little different this time
"He'll see, just like her. You know he'll leave. Just you see"
They devour the peace.

I remember now, as the monster comes scratching, rapping
her tired song
I remember now the lyrics to her curse
the endlessness that gathers, pouring dirt and sand
burring me slowly under

Just like her

If I could hold the moon in my hand,
would it be cold or turn to sand?
Would it be heavy there in my hand?
A small mystery to understand.

Is paradise an afterlife, or is it a feeling?
A release of being, freedom  
a soul unwrapped?

Is paradise a pasture, litter with green luster,
forbidden fruit, collecting in heaps of loot?
A sanctuary?

Is paradise a common place?
A corner of space, where again I will see your face?
A haven?

I only hope, the after life has rope
Incase it's not what we expected.

I hope you're there, aware
of who I am

Textured flame,
the air of burning dark
softly ashes drip, melt
dusty ivory and haggard looks
lonely bones like stepping stones
encased they lay

an avenue of haloed ground
features burnt
sing of January's frozen shroud
stagger on
agony claim
faint, and frail
tempest paved

Ridges cut sliver thin
etched inner folds  
with iron flint.
A mold once smoldered,
crimson, no longer.
Cooled, bent to the hing

The pieces crackle under foot.
Glassy daggers pattern the cement.
Alleyway objects fall and stick,
collect,
under oil, ash and soot
The pieces crackle under foot.

The cries echo, howling wide
muffled under pain and grim
muffled under bends of time
muffled, quiet
hushed and silent
The cries echo, howling wide

The burning smoke, fowl and rank
invades the air we often drank
suffocates the smiles we made
the yellow thick
the yellow sticks
the yellow smoke
fowl and rank.

The bodies piled, bloated flesh
freshly killed, forgotten trash
faces of crumbled hopes
faces of lost souls
faces froze
faces cold
The bodies piled, bloated flesh

A box of rusted feelings hides in the salvaged yard of my mind.
Jagged sorrows and broken promises surround the dismembered machinery,
forgotten and guarded.

The old dog with his once beastly growl, no longer cares who leaves or stays.
The dirt below, slowly pulling
forming his final resting place.

Shabby parts like tired looks rot under thunderstorms of powering weather.
Torn threads like once relationships, patched and torn asunder
The Stacks pile high, a top the years of mistakes
The box slowly sinks
heaving more and more heartbreaks

People forget to enjoy trees.

I like to pass the time
on car rides
watching the stray branches
bending in variations
whooshing in the breeze.

Sadly in between these emerald giants
are wires
black and distracting
the pattern spanning

I watch for the eye catching greens
and suttle browns
waving at me as I pass.

I always wave back.

The winds sing, oooo
The night purred low
slow and soaked
I heave a sign
Collecting a broken choke
And continue home
My mind like smoke
Alone
I listen to regret
Playing in my head
The world so still
The night so dead
Sings a sorrow song
To the moon
The winds sing oooo

Let's say you're mad
a science nerd
Let's say you build a contraption
a time warp
It's main function
to bend and twist
control time on a whim
then suddenly
time becomes a living thing
The nerd becomes unsure
time has teeth and claws
a crushing weight
that you must endure
Your advise?
I need a clue
my Frankenstein devise
has gone askew
should I pull the plug,
cut the wires?
perhaps time will then
quit and tire
A silly notion
to think I had power
over timeless time
I'm feeling sour!

Feeling sad and small with tightly wound muscles, in balled fists
I lumber to the backyard.
The itch of my cage tickles the lungs as I slurp the cold march night.
My small yard hushes the creatures announcing my presance.
The wind tosses empty trees,
cracking the branches like drumsticks.
Above me the sky fully lit with the silvery lights,
stars so old they speak no words.

I find a small dim speck, precious.
I name her Sylvia, sweet Sylvia star.
I watch her twinkle, nestled in her corner of the sky, shinning.
Sylvia begins to swell with glow, and then slowly fade.
Her tiny sliver frame swallowed by the night.
Her long life burning out.
I smile up, silently thanking the universe for giving life.
as I smile at the star, sinking into the deepest pool,
the black well of Mother night.
Goodbye my star,
sleep tight.

The colors of your hair
burnt and tarnished brown
wrapped up in curls and tendrils
like oak branches twisted in a crown

My gaze I could not hinder
the vitality in your stare
heavy durable and textured
I'm irrevocably hooked and snared

The shades of your skin
flush rustic patterns dance
smooth but rugged finish
the mere possibility of a chance

If only once to touch and finger
through your oak branch hair
to brush against the oaken leather
exposed skin left out and bare

Across an expanse I can admire
in a small fleeting instance
As the light shifts your colors
worshiping forever from a distance

A strange creature stands guard.
His dark hood conceals a face beneath,
no features twitch
only death can speak.

A thin bone finger unfolds
from sleeves of black
pointing with a quiver
towards the crossing,
calling as he laughs.

Bent rotten wood and hanging limbs
create a canopy of haunting trim

My extremities shake violent,
fear suffocates the mind
A voice ever so silent
urges me across the line

I spun a beautiful web of silver
delicate with lovely symmetry
Spun to catch your fleeting heart
instead the rains came
and left me tiny droplets
reflecting the tears of your absence

often intentions catch the unintended
no matter the mistake
find joy in the bounty
find beauty in the break

"What a day I had"
said the high heel to the boot.
"Up so many stairs, my heels are pooped!"

"You think that's rough, I have you beat.
Try treading mud, in the foulest feet!"

"It's rough out there, for shoes these days,
with all the gum, the mud and rain!"
The boot, nods back
The high heels right,
shoes should really be on strike!

"Let's quit, heel
take a trip
Finally we can truly live"

I simply want your embrace.
Your arms wrapped around my frame
the heat of your blood pumping
the soft texture of your skin
the musky smell of your neck
I do not need words
I do not need that look
just your embrace.

So often as the day grows
my resolve dies
situations frustrate the mind
hardships puncture the heart
and my mood fowls

It is then
I simply crave you
the balm for a wound
that has never healed
It is then
I simply need you
holding me together
Untill the end

We sleep with our feet
Touching sole to sole.
You said once, it was because our
"souls" attract.
I remember and cherish it
as a sweet thing you said.

Its like standing on a sheet of glass
over a black abyss,
looking at the ground,
glass cracking all around,
all you see is down.

The abyss, endless
nothing beautiful like outer space
no glittered stars
no friendly face
glass cracking all around
all you see is down.

You think silently,
the situation sinking in.
You wish sullenly
to be free of your skin
The abyss, endless
on the edge, breathless

My bed is warm
huddled under comfort
I fear the frigid air as it dances above,
coxing me back to daylight.

The light swaggers through the cracks in the blinds
chasing away dreams for filled
sweet memories fade into shadow

I squeeze shut my eyes
praying to the gate keeper, Mr. Sandman.
sail me back among the sea of dreams
to the shores of my subconscious
where beautiful wishes roam
free for the taking

If lady night would only be my wife
I could forever sail the stars, suspended in heaven
forever content with dreams come true

My bed is warm
the room has iced, crystallizing my deepest desires
keeping them in stone

If all my dreams have come true, what is the use of getting up?
I watch visions float by in the frigid air
only to disappear in the light of day
What is life, if not a waking nightmare, and I the zoombie
Mr. Sandman has forsaken me

I left only footprints, leading
I could not give you anymore.
I turn to watch,
your face a white flag, counting my steps.
It gets harder the further down the road,
to watch my steps traced in small prints.

The neighborhood towers over my choices,
as I continue the paces.
Your face only smaller, when I turn once more.

I think quick of turning back,
pretending,
but the steps lay behind,
in snowy clarity.
Shame would fall my thoughts,
if I return.

Maybe your face would smile
if my steps suddenly collected,
my decision changed?
Would our life turn over and shine brighter?
The brisk winter on my skin
tells me a different scenario.
A cold bitter tale.

If all I could give was my absence,
please remember my face
rather than my footprints,
leading away.

I left the candle wax to cry,
not wasting my own tears on emptiness
Blank space eats up all my comfort
too much space
too many hours, till morning

Sweet scents cling to cotton and pillows alike
venomous aromas you've left behind,
to suffocate my sleepless nights

The colors have left me too,
choosing the quickest exist.
Grey lingers the lone exile,
as black and white space defiles
our empty bed.

Skin and bones, walks but roams
Starved from lack of touch
Empty holes wither away
as hunger overtakes
thin, so thin
claws flay the space
in between now and yesterday

Never look down
unexpected horrors, animate the sounds
as she walks the earthly grounds
searching
famished
unbound

Framed thin,
roughness scored
not thin enough, but fat enough
to gorge.
If remorse, never weighs
feather light, guilt repeats her phrase
such tastes, such toughs
I've felt before
Like ****** raw steak
ate with a fork

salivate such vivid plates
worry it to be your last
longing's wrath

I could not tell you the truth, even if I wanted,
throat thick with lies.
No one knows the truth.
Truths are but angel sonnets, beckoned by divinity.
The truth is not the truth
it's an idea or a feeling.
My truth is painfully sad.
Compressed and bitter.
Inside I'm crumpled.
plagued with the horrors.
I can not smile from the inside out
I can only fake
There is no truth here
You alone make things worth the fight
Seconds of sunlight pillar on your face
Then comes night, all distinguished
And my truth is all around
You may not see it in my face
And no words can express,
but inside I'm broken
breaking every day.

Have you ever met a shadow,
one that was not your own?
Such complicated creatures,
such dark and twisted souls.

No eyes, no mouth to speak
they stalk in silent haunting.
Shadows know no bounds,
they walk beside in taunting.

Have you ever ask a shadow,
who or what they are?
Have they ever answered
or left you with a scar?

We like our shadows,
know no bounds
We haunt and stalk in silence
shading these hollow grounds.

My dearest violet, my tempered thorn
With every word dropped like water to a petal
your vibrant exlicer powders my heart with bruises.

Yet I return each day, bowed before your feet
hands begging for more violence.
I'll take your cold throws
fully addicted to your touch.

Each link of steely metal
worn, not in fashion
worn in purgatory
each link has it's purpose
to weigh her down
to crush her small

Locked chains draped round
the tiny waist, the delicate fist
Heavy chains placed so well
Worn not by choice
Worn not in sin
But given

A sentencing carried out
Guilty found
She's the judge
There is no jury
Bound to carry
Each link, each pain
A woman bound
To her own chains

When you're a half of a whole
Composer comes and goes
Tempers stand in the way
Then beneath the layers
of unshed pains
together you face today

Each step, a mirrored dance
Each breath, a fighting chance
Laced with another
Tied together

It can be suffocating
Your every thought invaded
By the considerations of another

Days that bring rain
Weigh down heavy on love
When it's forgot

When you choose to be one half
You take the good and the bad
You will never be one soul again
And your comforted by only him

While he frustrates
While he yells and berates
He koves you and you see it on his face

When you're a half of a whole
Your life is not your own
It is a gift given
And you share it
Willing

These salted tears blur the view
you hammering at my heart.
Blow by blow
the world fades some more
and all that was is folly

Her stoic stance, with muscles tight
conceals her meaning
her words a plight
majestic scene
flags flying
we fight a feeling
that words are words
Always varying
significant
but hide some meaning
Look wise and grunt
you furry thing
your words are meaningless
your features sing
gods gift to man
words can sting
keep them in thought
silence is king

By candlelight I love thee
but the quality of my professed love
depends on the lasting of the candle wax

The fiery temptress lulls me from my writing
She dances her shadowy skirts
feathering across the walls of my bedroom
Wax fading, light dimming

So seductive is her lullaby
My pen trails
My love fades
aimed instead at the low light
her orange glow, a goddess's
and my droopy eyes wilt
smiling in her warmth

Your skin is the dawn.
The lightness of the pale
white, like the morning sky.
The horizons of your curves,
glow and brighten,
awoken.
Your skin is the dawn

I plead with my bottle, never empty
The glass neck has a lush feel
I strangle it like a lover
victim still in hand, bleeding to my pleasure
the fill,
the thrill

I think not of how hard I slap
how solid a fist feels.
I find contemplating pain, an eager passed time
something gutting.
Like fish hooked on skewers, vididly moving
scoping while the waters fade
breath by breath
choking

I think of crumbled letters
gracing the wooden floors
minor words wrapped in white
pages age
Like heartbreak and bourbon
potent

I think not of tomorrow,
undecided time, a ghost haunting the now
like a grudge, sewn to the flesh
groping nails cling, drawing
blood

I think of cellar doors, hinging on time
of choices that lead to dark realms
where demons whisper
of silver sanctums, wide
open

I ogle mirror glass, finding the ripples vain
I think not of who or how
I think only of a voice, strumming my death
lovingly

Looking back over my shoulder,
I hear my mother.
Her sweet voice, rippling in memory.
"Never look back" she said.
"What's behind will fade"
...keep your head toward the future
...eyes open to the unknown.

And still, with the voice whispering
I turn slow, unable to let go.

The moment passed too chaste.
I wish for more time to linger on your face.
The light it clips,
sparkles the lint like stars,
and somewhere behind me,
a part of my future shines.

Fate has blessed our encounter
magnets pulling
you behind
me ahead,
Looking over my shoulder
our worlds intersect

Darkness lays heavy
upon my heart
as the bleak night seeps

no light in sight
not dim nor stark
my faith fades
here in the this dark

Dearest darkness
my only friend
shakes my faith
before I leap

he whispers close
Light will come
day will break
just please believe

I see in perfect circles
rings darkening my eyes
I rest in perfect slumber
while beneath starry skies

I turn in perfect anguish
so perfect are my aches
I live in perfect numbness
feeling nothing but the breaks

I wish in perfect prayers
to each and all the gods
I wail in perfect outrage
while I'm up against the odds

I think in perfect madness
never feeling like I'm here
I smile in perfect detachment
hoping I might disappear

I'm feeling imperfect
perfectly stuck
knee deep in the mud
down in on my luck

The stars are but ghosts, hanging in the blackness of night.
Like phantoms of a life so far out of reach, they speckle our skies reminding us there is more.

In between the vibrancy that spills from the here and now,
memory tapers like ribbons

Your face is a noise,
grey and faded in my mind
like the static of a lost TV channel

It's a remembrance out of focus but never gone
The noise of it's crackling spins in the background

I ignore the pained feeling of your image disappearing
for your essence was never lost
It sparks like a static charge
electrify my skin
settling the spirit