The lovely kids comforted me and never promised to pour rains on my key's day.
The kindness with calmness hinders sometimes.
The act was plain ,that l saw it coming.
There was no way for me to set out the fire,since l was still cooking.
The seasons spoke for me that all was going to be well.
Then l couldn't  take hid in total silence.
I tried,surely I tried and all was wasted efforts.
Since the breeze of the country was no more,
The bubbles with the spirit gave me boost.
They took me no way but to a mere finish line.
Would this karma say we won the race now?
Just a thing of the past  left behind.
Who would have the zeal to remember those lies now?
Just call them memories then.
We was riding so fast,February fourth jumped us out the emergency exit.
Yet this is another crush landing.
I've grown neither to cry nor say why.
I'd blame not August sixteenth for not signalling a may day.

Cesspools of naked bodies and lust.
Emptiness ravages the home I call my soul,
And in the throes of love and despair
All is not lost, all turns to rust.
Over time, over distance, over loss of care
I lie alone, in the midst of forget-me-nots,
You have devoured me whole.
I am an organ donor-
If you need my heart, you can have it.
My lungs have breathed for you since we met.
They are corroded with tar,
That beating muscle is broken, salvage it.
I hope you find someone who rises your suns once they have set.
And in the end I am left with
Digital memories and things I'd be better off to forget.
I can erase the pictures on my phone
But I cannot erase the once thriving forest,
With leaves of desire and soil of trust,
So alive- feelings of love, bereft.
You burned down the home
We built together, for what?
I forget things faster than they come to mind,
But you are the exception.
I would've walked through fire and razor blades and nooses and water just deep enough-
But you couldn't even explain why.
What with your unconscious deception,
We could've gotten higher and have it made and truces and wander deep in touch.
But you couldn't even fight.
We say our goodbyes and
I listen to the silence that follows.
I reach into the void for some sort of closure that you will not bring.
It ends in screeching cries and
The kind of pity that wallows.
I turn to dust and collapse to the shadows, the kind of song you can't sing.
Finish her and bury the evidence.
Throw her into the water, let the tide take her away.
She will rot and corrode with nature, become one with the sea.
Don't forget your medicine,
And make sure you tell them you love them and this time, stay.
I will see you in the future,
Where we are one and you are me.

#love   #ex   #sad   #depression   #death   #lost   #mentalillness   #unrequited   #lostlove   #bpd  
Feb 25

Wandering lost through the night
Not long last, until morning light

Blue moon bright, fading sight
Lonely owls echo in the night

Lost starlight.

Stumbling, trekking, across the trail
Darkness covering mourning cries.

Cool dark breezes lost and still
Not afraid, not to fight.

A tired wood cabin glowing still
Shut so tight, no strong ties

Low voices laughing
Harrowing the passing.

I stop near flickering candlelight
No open door, no place to rest

I break a fall, then pass by,
Through the trees, silence calls.

Emptiness and sorrow by my side
Cool nighttime friends, no demands

So far ahead
A village breaking the valley trail

Small homes shut and still,
The cold night beckons, vast and pale.

Low voices call, pleading faintly
Asking me to leave the night,
To lose the trail.

I push on past I don't belong.
Not afraid, not to fight.

On the empty road
Through the narrow sign
Into the tall trees, lost by design.

I seek the darkness, the silence still
Loss and mourning heavily borne

I will not stay
Even if I may.

Wandering in the cool darkness,
I will not stop or find a friend.

Into the night, not to falter
Empty sorrow, mourning last

Darkness falls, tired and bent
Fading, blue moon sent.

Not afraid. Not to fight.
Not to rest until I find the light.

No stars are out tonight.

Oh please help to get me.
Hey whipper-snapper be my vestige again.
Those trees are obscure, be my mirage again.
Far-flung from my kernel ,be my chain again.
Oh please help to get me,
Be mine and my again.

Mar 1

Her cinnabar thee never realised.
She filched those twinkles to restore you.
You left 'she' scrambled each day.
All in dizziness of lacerations.
You pinched she's vesicles so strong,
Stems heart is now acumens of kills.
Thee never saw her dark dwells.
Still she worked to pull thy mislead strings
and set aside everything else,
You never saw she was more neath,
Underneath, near abyss.
She had now, in fallen deep.

From Mirakee (@err1585)
#love   #peace   #alone   #lostlove   #err1585  

I want you to say everything that's on your mind,
everything you think of and everything you've thought
before meeting me and since.
When I'm at work and sitting grading papers
that make no sense to me,
I'll find a part of my brain has latched onto a thought of you.
And I'll shift around uncomfortably wanting to check my email.
When I'm at a traffic stop, watching pedestrians
I'll think of you walking towards me.
We'd smile and it would be because we are each other's secrets.
You'd keep walking and when the traffic moved, I'd move too.

#love   #lostlove  

To the only one I have ever cried over,

I miss you still
You had so many names for me
And I for you
Terms of endearment, mostly

I miss you still
I think of you most days
Remember your hair, your eyes, your smile
But I forget in ways

I miss you still
I was often numb
I still have the videos though
I should delete them

I miss you still
It reminds me of you
The postcard that you sent me
Flowers purple and blue

I miss you still
You won’t see this
Though some dark secret part of me
Wishes you had

I miss you still
Because most parts of me
Want you back

This is the first poem I've put on here in years. I don't know what I'm doing.

Endless force
Eddying beneath me
Moving me against my will
Taking me from that I long for

Sinking low
Straining ever  upward
Reaching for a perfectness
Losing much and gaining little

Blot away
Journey into darkness
Settle deep my lonesome heart
Here let my anguish slowly lessen

Wishing star
Bathe me in translucence
Memories perfume the air
Lotus bloom on stems of longing

Vapeurs thin
Nonexistent valley
Shadow world of gossamer
Blown by winds of truth to frenzy

Face the wind
Let it wilt the lotus
Reach toward the icy light
Find a balm to heal the hurting

Values great
Pain has served a purpose
Follow paths to beingness
See his guideposts never erring

Waste it not
That which he has given
Nurture it and make it grow
Seed he laid in fertile garden

See it out
Find it in reality
Not in hidden valleys
Recognized my solace stands now.

Wrote this many years ago.  Wonder where he is now.

I held on to the time before me
I never let it go
I kept it in my arms at last
But when you left I let it go

And now I am spent
And I don't think there's anything left
Time is gone
And I'm alone
Nothing here at my home

Now time is fleeting fast
Seeping through all the cracks
The cracks that formed
The day you left me torn

#time   #lostlove  

My soul is the canvas you had been painting all your dreams on but couldn't wait for them to dry.
Colors consuming me while you're getting black and white.

#love   #regret   #hurt   #soul   #separation   #colors   #lostlove   #images  
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