3 days ago

I do not want to feel
but I need it in order to heal
the days seems shorter and my nights longer I search for truth and peace within the world yet I never find it I'm met with lies and pain that causes me to grow colder a bed of tears is all I know and what keeps me comfort I sometimes drown in my own sorrow and scream for help while dying but no one ever seems to hear me...

#love   #pain   #betrayal   #lust   #hurt   #people   #bitter   #confusion   #suck   #agony  
7 days ago

I th016ink there's a g015litch in my co014de.
I'm tr013ying, but I st012ill feel alo011ne.
A010nd, my he009art?
It's bi008tter cold t007o the touc006h.
I wi005sh this l004ife w003as eno002ugh.
Li001fe is to d000ie.

it reads;
"I think there's a glitch in my code.
I'm trying, but I still feel alone.
And, my heart?
It's bitter cold to the touch.
I wish this life was enough.
Life is to die."

Listen to the howling wind
Not a whisper in the voice of it
An embodiment of all the aimlessness
And the chaos which was once within
This heaving chest
And beating heart
Which is now outside
Cold and lying bitter still  
And howling like mother nature had tanned its hide
Listen to such a wind as this
And you will understand what it is
And what it means to be trapped inside such bitterness
As the howling wind does speak of it

Bitter at none... Except myself
#poem   #poetry   #bitter   #wind   #verse   #pause   #paused   #scribbles   #sean   #howling  

A little lie
A little word
And you're put under my spell
You never knew
You never even doubted
That I was telling the truth
You should have known
You didn't even try
You took my words
And believed them every time
I held you in my arms
Until my heart became cold
You never even second guessed
You didn't even try
And came running back to me
Each time my hands reached
To you again
You poor thing
How you must despair
Being thrown around in circles
How aweful you must feel
Being stomped into the earth
Tell me, how does it feel
To be infused into dirt?
I can hear you weeping
From the corners
I can feel you reaching
Towards the pain
So addicting
You can't get enough of me
You must be starving
As I give you nothing but remnants
Nothing but a piece of me
As you hunger for more
I will become your destruction
As you feed off my addiction
It must be so lonely
Always being barely within
Arm's reach
Falling so hard; so fast
Do you really think I would take your hand?

Mar 10

The bruise of your
sudden absence
is a tattoo my heart
carries proudly.
But bruises and tattoos
turn bitter when they begin
pulling triggers;
How many times must I
bleed for you?
How many times must I
swallow the feeling of hollow
and still believe you care, my love?
Your soul's a stranger
but for love's sake
I'll take the danger
and let you turn my heart
into a cremation chamber.

#love   #poem   #heart   #new   #bitter   #tattoo   #hollow   #bruise   #cremation   #chamber  

Her wont on a sleeve
only made hour grieve
while fever fed a cold today
the road sought hither late
and zonked this dale
still clamored in her oath
she'd bid herself again
but to perish her affront
while inside my belt
only brought here by stock
would swelter in her seat
along highway oft-tried and
never abandoned till a rap
her deathly congestion, Alas

Mar 2

to test the waters
where they are fast and cold
or lucid and warm
tips of toes dipping in.

to sample flavors
where they are harsh and bitter
or creamy and sweet
tips of tongues dipping in.

#girl   #water   #bitter   #lesbian   #lucid   #taste   #harsh   #bi   #flavor   #creamy  

In love purely with a fancy
a delusion
provoking emotion and confusion

aching goodbyes
a struggle to face freedom
accepting to abandon a bond
between us two

dreading you will glide over your memory of me
within a blink of my drowning eyes
lead by desire, desperation and fear of dependance

dreading your actions will be parallel to mine
a route i am ashamed to admit to
a journey of freedom

leaving behind a bitter ending
losing the chance for another beginning

facing the near future of ending a relationship
#broken   #sad   #future   #end   #hurt   #relationship   #bitter   #illusion   #fancy  

A bittersweet sip of the black, bitter coffee.
A sour, foreign taste permeates my tongue – stings my throat.
No matter, I continue sipping
Each swallow more familiar
The bitterness slowly diminishing…
How adaptive we humans are.
Strangers become lovers
And friends can turn into enemies –
Yet I keep sipping.  
I sip as I watch the sun rise
Giving change to yet another day
As if the changes and adaptations in my life
Are completely meaningless.
Yet my shoulders are heavy.
My heart is sunk.
My mind never rests.
And my memories eat me alive.
But all of these things
Are just more black coffee beans
Brewing into normalcy

#friends   #life   #memories   #coffee   #thoughts   #change   #bitter  
Feb 21

I was going to write
of infatuation.
I wrote of death.
I seem to be hovering
forever in between,
a partial combination
a fickle being.

I was going to write
how his eyes glint
when I catch them
unexpectedly peering at me.
Now, I can only imagine
the endlessness of eternity
leering at me evilly
Taunting  my carelessness.

I was going to reminisce
small jokes that soothe anxiousness.
Now, consumed
by the inevitable
sweeping me away into nothingness.

I was going to question
“does he dream of me as I do?”
Now I wonder
what my dreams will dissolve into.
Fleeting moments pass rapidly
Gaseous, unaccounted for and ghastly.


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