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Tsu Mar 2019
sticks and stones
may break my bones
but as if that's worse
then the names I was called.

i grew up believing
no one would love me
everyone hates me
and that i deserved to die.

real or fake
i would always break
because words are worse
then the names i was called.

so i cut myself
so i couldn't feel the pain
of damaging words, but
the only thing it does is make it start again

sadness and depression
are two different things
sadness is temporary
depression is your limbs

depression isn't a choice
people think the opposite
unless they've been through it themselves
but how should they know?

but depression isn't you
it's not who you are
it's the illness that creates pain
you can win this spar

sticks and stones
will break my bones
and words will always hurt me.

but i believe in truth.
i won't fall to lies.
if we've made it this far without dieing
we're strong.

we can be stronger.

Sticks and stones may break my bones; words will always hurt me. But friends and family will help mend my scars, and I will stay strong.
Tsu Mar 2019
Don't tell me who I am
Or who I'm supposed to be
Because I am strong
Because I am beautiful
In every way

Don't tell me I need to stop frowning
Or why I should pretend I'm happy
Because I have the right to emotions
Because I have the right for what I need to feel
Each and every day

Don't tell me to stop living my life
Or to stop the things I love and do
Because I am me
Because I am not a reflection of you
You don't control me

Don't just tell me I need to share
To love
To smile
Because I'll only do it
If you show me first

I am independent
I am strong
I am flawless yet imperfect
I am me.
Tsu Mar 2019
I used to be scared
Scared of the monsters under my bed
And the way "the boogieman" deals with bad children
But now that I'm older
Only fear seems to come my way

I'm scared
Scared of the fact
That my nightmares could become reality
That my past could be my present
And my rights could morph into wrongs

I'm scared
Because I don't want anyone to know
How much I love them
And how much I care for them
How weak with sentiments I am

I'm scared
That my loved ones will turn on me
That I will fail in what others expect of me
That I will be judged for all my mistakes

I'm scared
That my life will be filled with this endless suffering
Filled with endless stress
Filled with endless weariness
Filled with endless questions

Endless questions...
Am I okay will I be okay should I be okay should I be normal like everyone else when will I be like everyone else do I want to be like everyone else do I want to be better than everyone else am I better than everyone else am I good enough I am not good enough when will I be good enough when will I get answers when will I die how should I die can I die will someone **** me what am I thinking should I be thinking about this why am I thinking about this?

Endless emotions,
love, hate, calm, frustrated, confidence, fear, good, bad, live, die, death, life, normal, strange, pain, ache, tired, questions, confusion, fear, more hate, hot, cold, right, wrong, up, down, satisfaction, regret, spare, ****, shallow, deep, truth, lies, on, off, WILL THIS PAIN EVER STOP?

I'm scared. I'll admit it.
Scared to love,
Scared to hate,
Scared to fight back on the darkness
That forever awaits

I'm scared I'll hurt someone
If I leave this world
If I leave my story behind
So what do I do?

I'm scared I'll keep living
In between reality and insanity
I want to stop living
But I'm scared of dying...

Help me... please... I'm just...

Tsu Mar 2019
Roses are red
Violets are blue
That's what we've been told
But we know it's not true

The sun won't shine
The sky is grey
It's always raining
Almost everyday

The roses are wilting
The violets are dead
Nightmares and demons
Have become your friends

My blood is red
My tears are blue
I want you to know
That I will always love you
Tsu Dec 2018
Life is like a dance

You take a look
Into the ballroom
Not knowing what to do
But you take the first step into something new

Say you like the freedom of doing something

You take the second leap
Yeah, you probably fall
But you get up again
Because you know independence isn't something natural

Say that you falter in what you do

You're lonely as you watch other couples dance
And then someone joins you
Then you feel a spark ignites you
Because you know you need someone

Say you love how you're doing it

You continue to be this amazing person
You inspire others
And before you know it
You have lots of experience

Say there's someone who asks you "How?"

Questions surround you
And you turn your face towards the crowd
You dance
You show them how it's done, beautifully

Pursue your life
No matter how hard it gets
No matter how much you fall
Dance again
Show your spirits, they don't have to be small
Love others
Love life
And most of all
Love yourself
Tsu Dec 2018
One day
I was asked by someone
How I was so unique
And perfect
And "me".
Well I thought
You curse yourself in your sleep
For every little mistake you make
And trace the imperfections on your skin
To make soothe the perfectness of my flaws
Then you copy my moves
From the way I swing my hands when I walk
To the little noises I make
And the way I laugh falsely
After that
Mirror my hair
My dark clothes
The mask that hides my face
From people who can slither their way in
To the cracks and splits in my disguise
So they can find out my insecurities
Mimic my abilities
My hobbies
The people I trust
But you never know
Being a copycat doesn't get you anything
So one day
I was asked
How I was so unique
And perfect
And "me".
Well I said
You can't, you don't, and you won't
Because you were born to be an original
You were born to love what you love
You were born to do what you do
You were born to look how you look
Even if you don't like it
Just like I still can't like my flaws and perfections
You should love yourself
You must love yourself
You can love yourself
No matter where
You are
Because that is the story
Of how to be you.
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