I told my mom today that my best friend was experiencing depression. She is studying abroad and wakes up everyday feeling like she wants to be dead So I said to my mother Liz is miserable and wants to come home She said to me "Its home sickness she should stick it out"
There's moments spent with you that I'll never forget. A brave me, I've never met. A fearless me,safe in your Haven. I hope I can meet her again. It was a feeling I've never experienced before,but one I'm dying experience again. The reason I stopped talking to you was not because I was angry( although I was at first) but because after everytime we spoke I got caught in my feelings, and saw rays of hope. However the next day I would see you with Her and my heart broke all over again. I have cried way more than you can imagine and yet I tried soo hard to hate you but I couldn't find enough reasons because our connection, every conversation felt so **** real. Yes, what you did wasn't right. You hurt me. Really bad. But you did it because it made you happy. She makes you happy.......and thats all I wish for you. I can't unlove you, And I don't want to because what you made me feel was incredible. I do not regret anything. Nothing at all. Even though I've told you I do. But trust me every experience is valuable to me. We were truly amazing while we lasted. I don't want to end this year with a bitter taste and leave with regrets. This is everything I didn't say.
It has been a while since I've written poetry here and thats because I loved a boy Who didn't love me
He was selfish but I was selfless in loving him and he took advantage of that even if he wasn't really trying to
He made me a playlist of songs romantic connotations and all to speak his mind from what he's scared to say But he didn't actually say the words so I couldn't claim he had
Sometimes I wonder if it was all in my mind or in my heart was it even real for him at all? I told him I didn't want to be a second choice He said I wasn't But then why are you still wanted the other girl that dumped you 6 months ago when you've been seeing me for 5?
Even now I am still writing poetry about him and I don't know if he even thinks about me now It has been 12 weeks since we've talked But I've seen him in my dreams I wish they were real and my heartbreak was not