"nerf" poems
Your commitment to me
will always be
Competing against that of Lucas
While I stand in the buff,
you want space stuff
You want sabres and jedis a’clashing
If you loved me,
as much as wookies
We’d fly just as smooth as pod racers
While I give you my heart
you’re busy hating the 1st part
I know, the prequels were ******
300 odd days
till the force’s new phase
And Solo returns in the falcon
By then I’ll be brain fried,
I’ll have gone to the dark side
I’ll be just as done as poor Greedo
Solo may have shot first
But man its the worst
always coming second to that nerf herder
Even when I’m gone
just like Alderaan
You’ll dream of Leia’s bikini
Just make like R2,
Say you love me too
And I won’t have to force choke my darling
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 11:52 PM UTC
I grew up taking hits from my big brother,
I grew up on "boys' weekend" camping trips,
I grew up with my father calling me a princess but calling my brothers rock stars,
I grew up watching Boy Scout meetings from the back of the room,
I grew up on LEGOs and Hot Wheels and
I still remember the year my brothers got Nerf guns for Christmas
and I got a bracelet,
I remember being shot with foam bullets and having no way to fight back,
but at least I looked pretty.
I remember seeing my dad leave for work every morning
and wondering why my mom never did,
I remember wanting to be an astronaut, but my brother told me
moms have to stay home.
The phrase stop being a girl is branded into my mind
and I still curse myself every day
for the organs I was born with.
I remember the year my brothers went as zombies for Halloween
and I had to go as a princess,
I remember bringing a fake butcher's knife
because a princess is not scary.
I grew up on manhood meaning strength
and manhood meaning confidence
and manhood meaning respect
and I still wear dresses
and my dad still calls me a princess
but I'll be ****** if you tell me I'm not a man.
Apr 5, 2014
Apr 5, 2014 at 1:31 AM UTC
You both sit
entranced
by gadgets,
a paternal gift
and flaw,
Making new sounds,
playing old games
on laptop computers,
winning and losing
on Christmas morning.
No more dolls
that cry
"Mama,"
no more worrying about
primary colors
or classical music
or Goodnight Moon--
gadgets and games and Nerf guns
rule the day.
Wishing it was
a younger time
Only brings sorrow;
enjoy the day, the year
my heart tells me,
for these will be gone,
too,
soon.
Feb 4, 2014
Feb 4, 2014 at 9:33 PM UTC
Click “Lowes, you can do it we can help”
Click “Dolly comes with everything you see here including stroller, bottle, and bib”
Click “Destroy your enemy with NERF guns”
Click “Play kitchen with real opening oven and microwave, learn to become a mommy just like you’ve always wanted”
Click
We live in a free society, one where we are independent and free to make our own choices....right
We live in a country where anyone can become anything.....don’t we?
Then every time I turn on the TV why am I flooded with heteronormative racist propaganda?
Why is my future daughter forced to work in a kitchen and take care of the baby from age 5 and up?
Why is my future sun told to fight against the evil invaders with nerf guns?
Why are my future neighbors portrayed as white people with picket fences and perfect lawns
I sit down click after click white after white, heterosexual after heterosexual, gender role after gender role.
Pounded into our heads, indoctrinated by elegantly crafted hate speech.
Rhetoric that has become so naturalized it fails to be seriously questioned
Well I will question it!
I will look for answers
I will not sit by and watch our youth be molded into perfect Americans by the “free market”
I WILL STAND UP, AND I WILL MAKE CHANGE!
Apr 6, 2012
Apr 6, 2012 at 12:01 PM UTC
Star Wars, X-Men
CoD, Pacific Rim
Lego brick, Ranger Rick
Graphic novel, the Tick
World War history
Model cars, chemistry
Nerf gun, Comicon
Myth Buster Byron
Extra credit, Cosplay
Risk, Chess, Anime
Billy Nye, ask why
You're the one, don't deny
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 12:53 AM UTC
When I look into my bedroom
I see a shelf of various book
genres that I read over and over
again, when I look into my bedroom
and look beyond the rest I see a
window which I have seen many, many
different things through, when I look
into my bedroom and door ahead I
see a dresser with many clothing items
I will cherish for life. Above I see some
of my most valuable collections, when
I look into my bedroom and look down
I see a box of various types of *****
which I have kicked and thrown all over
the house When I look inside my closet
and look down I see board games that
I have played over and over again.
When I look inside my closet and look
straight ahead I see sweatshirts that
have kept me warm in the winter months.
When I look inside my closet and look
up I see enormous puzzles that I have
spent days and days and days to complete,
when I look into my bedroom and look
right I see my bed where I have had
good dreams and bad dreams and dreams
in between. When I look into my bedroom
and look right I see soccer cards which
I have spent hours organizing and putting
in their holders. When I look into my
bedroom and look beyond my bed I see
a shelf with fidget spinners, nerf guns,
athlete cards, travel games, and remote
control cars everywhere, when I look
into my bedroom and look beyond my
dresser I see a big box of athletes cards
which I have studied over and over again,
when I look in my bedroom and look at
the walls I see posters of athletes who
inspire mes like no other,
when I look into my bedroom and look
above my closet I see my mini basketball
hoop which I have attempted many shots
on. when I look into my bedroom I see
my very own personality.
Dec 30, 2019
Dec 30, 2019 at 7:52 PM UTC
I imagine if I were a little boy, I'd get a little boy hard on by watching teenage girls buy underwear.
And if I were a little boy, I'd punch my brother so hard he'd start to cry
And I'd die laughing at him,
take back my nerf gun, just for fun in the sun
and I don't get burned
because I haven't had a girlfriend yet.
I think little boys ********** the wrong way for a while
but still smile
because they're ************
Still keeping it secret from mom,
nothing's really wrong, it's the bomb,
but turn up this song
It'd be weird if mom heard all the pokemon names I keep saying to stay hard.
If I were a little boy, I'd be mean to the little girls I like.
Push them off their bikes and get into fist fights
with other boys over toys that aren't even mine.
And I'd keep all my promises by the pinky,
and if we got married under the oak tree
in my backyard, I'd keep you forever
and we could watch goosebumps every night together.
The little boy version of me doesn't get heartbroken
and isn't smokin' anything.
He doesn't get wasted and tasteless,
grab ***** and faces,
screaming about cheating and beating up some guy just to prove he's alive.
His shoes light up
not the headlights of the car that peels out of the bar
angry
not thinking straight, into the house, irate,
to deliver hate, and take out any sons ready to stand up to him.
He doesn't sell drugs,
he gives hugs at thanksgiving
and isn't too strung out to watch an entire disney movie
and would never be caught dead on the streets
shakin' a can for money because his habit's are debilitating and killing him.
He sleeps with one girl, her name is Daisy.
She's a lazy cocker spaniel
and loves him more than you ever will.
He likes cartoons and afternoons playing tag in all front yards
throwing snowballs at cars, going to mars on a swingset
because he's not grown up yet,
and the world hasn't told him what it really thinks about him.
I don't buy underwear in front of little boys.
And it's nothing against them or their little boy friends,
I just don't want me to be another key in the inevitable end
when they try to get into girls *******
instead of heads.
Jul 5, 2010
Jul 5, 2010 at 3:09 PM UTC
The first time I kissed you (again),
we were sitting in your car,
under shadows and street-light orange,
and the impression I was going inside.
But then I found your NERF gun,
which you said was for robbers and slow drivers,
but proved more entertaining for girls
who like to sit in your passenger seat.
So we broke into a scuffle
in pools of orange light
abandoning seat-belts and any pretence that I was leaving
to wage an epic war
inside a parked car
over ownership of the polystyrene darts.
The end came when a missile was lost to your backseat,
and we both reached for the NERF gun,
and that kiss I'd been waiting for since I'd first put on my seat-belt
materialised between the space above your handbrake
and a little plastic gun.
May 6, 2013
May 6, 2013 at 8:59 AM UTC
i bring out the child in him.
you'd think by the way he shoots nerf gun bullets at me,
that he would have pierced my heart earlier in the year.
but, he grew on me with his childish smirk and those blue eyes.
when he sips the green tea out of the cup i gave him my lip quivers.
when he says my name my heart stops just as quickly as it started.
when he tells me that i am pretty and that i am worth so much more,
what does he mean?
are the gifts just a coincidence?
are the nice words just nice words?
is everything i am feeling even real?
Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014 at 10:45 AM UTC
At goodwill Buy the Pound
every day is black friday
Hundreds of soccer moms line up their
white sneakers on a black and yellow caution tape line
zombie over it streching for yu-gi-oh cards
wait for hazmat suits to wheel out eight bins full of trash gone treasure.
When the bins are locked in place the hazmat suits go back to pack another load
The air horn sounds.
You do not want to be anywhere near that caution tape line when this happens.
At goodwill buy the pound
If you're not part of the fight,
you're part of the floor.
They need to find their
puzzle peices lost in cat liter
Johnny really needs
every single nerf dart
DID YOU TAKE A NERF DART?!
WE TALKED ABOUT THIS JO-ANN
THOSE WERE FOR JOHNNY.
Johnnys grandma is not the only elder throwing elbows
varacose veins are curb stomping dads hauling consoles to make a quick buck
Skinny College aged video game collectors swim through the mom-pocalypse
raid the stashes for disguarded NES cartridges
Jo-ann grabs a twinky boy by the black graphic hoodie.
Tosses him back into the horde
lunges for a barbie doll hidden under some wires.
This is not a place for nice children.
If you aren't willing to push around some nanas
you will leave covered in nike prints.
This place turns people.
Ever look at someones mom and think
She looks like she's always wearing a mask.
She is!
Buy the pound is her natural habitat.
One grandma keeps so many cats, her living room is a Petrie dish
I think she just wants to be in charge of a small third world countrey.
Granny needs to go rally up the soccer moms at buy the pound.
To lead those cats into a mother thirfting revolution
These woman leave feeling like they saved their family a fortune
Dumpster diving for sport.
Every tossed or trampled stranger
One flip flop closer to
feeding their children
clawing through poverty
When that airhorn sounds again.
They scurry back to their carts.
Tell their children
"Make sure nobody steals this"
as they line back up in haste.
Touch their all white nikes to the caution tape line.
Hold their family close like brass knuckles.
when that airhorn sounds.
It's time to fight.
Jun 15, 2016
Jun 15, 2016 at 10:49 AM UTC
With a hint of Otis I say:
"Sittin' on some steps by the...ocean,
"Watching the people of today,
Puttin' on that lotion...
Couples walk by
Never say hi.
Pondering the meaning of life,
Woah! My god, look at that girl!
I really like her...shirt.
Wow my sunburn really hurts.
Ah, the beach. What a soothing feeling
The ocean can reach...when one can
Hear it over screaming kids. Parents
Smoking as they push the cribs.
Foreigners ...Probably judging us Americans. Finding
Importance in life by being more tan.
Hey look there's a seagull. So free
To fall in the air. It's just not
fair. I wish I could steal fries from
Strangers and get away with it.
Just made awkward eye contact
With a runner. She was cute
But what a ****** I couldn't
Catch her if I tried. There's a
Rent-a-cop. He may yell, "Stop!"
But a nerf-gun can only do so
Much. What a job. Authority and
Such. This boardwalk is repetitive.
Needy kids and whiny parents.
I might need a sedative...there's
A choir of noise in the background. Arcade
Schemes...games...some bells, the ocean and
The screaming kids that are yet to be tamed.
Smh @ r generation.
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 1:20 PM UTC
It seems so strange how love can still exist in this messed up world,
And how memories can still live on.. Even after our roads devised.
We bumped into each other in the hall one day. As I blushed and apologized you smiled and told me I was classy.
Under the sweet smells of popcorn and that warm summer air.. We shared our first kiss.. And we held hands from there on in.
We would run around the streets and laugh like lunatics..
Everything would be so great, the town thought we were mad.
We took our walks on the beach, and danced under the moonlight sky, with the candles glowing below.
We would jump in the leaves and twirl with them dancing around us We called it dancing with the leaves.
We made pillow forts and had our Nerf wars on the cold winter days, to end it all off with a hot coffee as the suns rays dipped under the horizon.
We would pretend we were birds and fly with the wind atop of large hills, then run down them as if they were a large valleys.
We had our days, we both shed tears, and we both messed up. But we would always end it with a " I need you" letter.
We wrote in a bottle: "we will always be." .. And then threw it into the river. It all changed soon after I got that text..
You moved away. That day.. I fell to pieces..
It was like time itself had stopped and I couldn't breath.
I had been stabbed with bits of glass, I couldn't help but scream..
I haven't quite been the same, I've turned into a emotional wrack.
Trying to fill a void that's been empty for so long..
If you saw me now.. You'd be disappointed.. I'm not the same guy you fell in love with..
My hair isn't combed and doesn't have that brown shine, my eyes glow black and my skins gone sour, I've become more hunched, and I always have a cloud over my head.
No one seems to care,
So with this pain I must bare.
I never stopped caring, now I'm dealing with the weight of the world.
People say that there is someone out there for me. To stop dwelling on the past and move onto the here and now. There was someone out there but now she's gone.
I cry every night and then think of you, and that's when I realize,
I'm lost without you.
Oct 28, 2013
Oct 28, 2013 at 12:56 AM UTC
i remember catching fire flies in jars
and playing policeman in the cars
catching grasshoppers even though i was scared
all those special moments we've shared
you bring me such pride, such joy
you will always be my favorite boy
you make me want to be better than i am
and someday you're gonna be an outstanding man
because you're already so wonderful, so great
and it's all been worth the wait
we find hope in raising sons
nerf wars and shooting b.b. guns
funny movies and video games
star wars, you know all the names
and teach me things i'd never know
the greatest gift has been watching you grow
action figures and playing army men
sometimes i wish i had this time again
but you grow up too fast, too soon
you used to think i hung the moon
and now it's me, realizing it's you
roping the stars & hanging the moon
Nov 28, 2012
Nov 28, 2012 at 9:16 PM UTC
pretty and pink
she's a princess
as she struts up and down the rows
what she'll pick,
mommy doesn't know
will it be the new
holiday barbie doll
or the shiny Nerf gun
to shoot her brother, Paul.
no!
Its the wonderful stuffed
teddy-pus.
the mega tough protector
who isn't a wuss.
he keeps kids safe
chases the monsters away
with his snuggly tentacles and big fluffy ears
he provides brighter days
now whenever
she's feeling really sad,
Teddy-pus makes things
seem not so bad.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 11:58 PM UTC
"People with dexterity and good timing are O.P.! NERF THEM! OMGOMGOMG!"
Nov 13, 2013
Nov 13, 2013 at 7:51 PM UTC
Do the words "Black Lives Matter" make you upset?
Black bodies hanging from poplar trees, would you have wept?
When a black child is murdered by police,
Do you ask "why" or "why didn't he get on his knees"
When armed shooters with lack of color
Are still allowed to see their mother.
Black fathers taken from their kids before birth
Black children six feet beneath earth
Naive young me used to question why so often.
I remember asking my mom why I couldn't have a nerf gun.
I promised I wouldn't shoot it at, or hurt anyone.
Mom, it's cold why can't I wear my hood at night?
It's not in my eyes I promise I can see alright.
Danny and Nick are doing it, why can't I play ding **** ditch
Jesus Christ why can't I just live?
I always viewed my parents as overprotective
Thought I was being sheltered and I couldn't tell why
My dad always seemed a bit aggressive
All because they were doing things just to keep me alive
I was never awarded my adolescence
Coming home from school to added lessons
I wasn't afforded the luxury of childhood and silly decisions
Because of others bad filthy religions
I never knew what it was like to be boisterous and careless
My mother feared some cop would point at me and care less
I could have been just words on a tombstone
Instead of you reading my thoughts and my words being known
It wasn't until now that I understand why I wasn't allowed to make mistakes
Until seeing black victims juvenile crimes resurrect all whilst the white shooter didn't get a court date
I know now
I know now that my life doesn't matter more than that of a deer
"Is it hunting season on a ****** *** wasn't a joke, but actually fear.
Black bodies no longer hang on poplar trees
Black bodies now lie in the streets
Silence is empowering the other side
So I no longer jail my tongue behind my teeth.
Oct 8, 2017
Oct 8, 2017 at 4:28 PM UTC
I'VE COME TO MY KIDS CHRISTMAS PLAY
JUST LIKE I DID LAST YEAR
THIS YEAR THOUGH, I'VE COME PREPARED
I'VE BROUGHT ALONG SOME BEER
I FIGURE THAT I'LL NEED IT
TO HELP ME THROUGH THE NIGHT
'CAUSE WHEN THOSE **** KIDS
TAKE THE STAGE...IT REALLY IS A SIGHT
INSTEAD OF USING THE SAME DOLL
THEY'VE GOT ONE THAT IS NEW
THE ONLY THING THAT'S WRONG WITH IT
IS THIS **** DOLL IS BLUE
THIS YEAR THEY'VE ADDED DONKEYS
IN COSTUMES MADE FROM NERF
THEY HELP TO KEEP YOUR MIND OFF,
THEIR JESUS IS A SMURF
THIS YEAR THE WISE MEN GOT IT RIGHT
AND THEY'RE ALL WEARING THONGS
YOU CANNOT HEAR THE CHOIR
THEY'RE FLIP-FLOPPING THROUGH THE SONGS
THEIR ROBES TOO, ARE MUCH BETTER
THEY DON'T WEAR DRESSING GOWNS
THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE A GROUP OF ROCKS
NOW, THEYRE DRESSED UP RIGHT IN BROWN
LAST YEAR MY SON, HE PLAYED A ROCK
HE WAS A BIG SUCCESS
THIS YEAR HE'S MARY'S STAND-IN
AND HE HAS TO WEAR A DRESS
I HOPE THAT HE DOES NOT GO ON
CAUSE, GOD FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH
I'M NOT QUITE SURE THE F/X CREW
CAN MAKE A BOY GIVE BIRTH
THIS PLAY WAS BETTER THAN THE LAST
WE DIDN'T LAUGH AS MUCH
POOR JOSEPH USED A POGO STICK
TO REPRESENT A CRUTCH
IT WAS ARTISTIC LICENSE
TO HAVE THE CRUTCH OUT THERE
HE TRIPPPED UPON THE MAGII
AND WENT FIVE FEET IN THE AIR
I'VE COME TO MY KID'S CHRISTMAS PLAY
FOR THREE YEARS IN A ROW
IT ONLY COSTS TWO FIFTY
AND THEY PUT ON QUITE A SHOW
I SAID THE SAME THING LAST YEAR
AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN
I'LL BE BACK NEXT CHRISTMAS TIME
ONE NIGHT FROM EIGHT TILL TEN.
Jun 6, 2012
Jun 6, 2012 at 11:57 AM UTC
I am man
Destroyer of worlds
Ask the survivors
Of the ant hill out back
I am man
Practitioner of violence
See for reference
My arsenal of Nerf weapons
I am man
Taker of life
My double bacon cheeseburger
A ****** trophy
I am man
Celebrator of brutality
I gotta go
The game is on
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 8:02 PM UTC
people **** the life out of me
i'm like a sugary cereal that they eat and eat and eat
but they never get full
i am so tired by the end of the day
i just want to go home
take off all the clothes i wore for them
take off all the pretension
all the make up
and lie on the floor
are you enough to keep me alive?
i suppose being infectious and wanted is a blessing
it has been a very long time since i have felt unwanted
probably way back into my awkward teenaged years
and now everyone wants me
but i don't want myself
are you enough to keep me alive?
the one person who i know cares about me
got scared when i put a nerf gun under my chin
and pulled the trigger
i just wanted to feel the air
test it out
see if the barrel of a gun belonged there
i have never told her that i didn't want to live
but i think she knows
the only reason i'm here
is for the people around me
are you enough to keep me alive?
Nov 9, 2013
Nov 9, 2013 at 8:37 PM UTC
I walk in
and throw my faded, ripped, three year old, coca cola pajama pants
toward the tub
just soft enough to miss the shower curtain.
I close the door and take off my shirt,
undo my belt, step out of my pants
and just stand there and look at myself:
my hair is a dull brown, and messed up, but I don't care tonight.
My pupils are dilated; a few too many ibuprofen.
my nose still looks half broken on the side opposite my scar.
my left eye has bags, as it always has,
as does my right- between the merging of two faint bruises;
one from a Nerf bullet impact turned sty I had removed,
the other from a zit which overtook my cheek a few weeks back.
my forehead is wrinkled prematurely
my unshaven chin and scalp both growing grays.
my collarbones stick out enough for me to fit my fist in when I lean forward.
my neck widens in the back in a way that looks unnatural.
my biceps, chest and stomach are all muscular, firm;
the result of two workouts every day.
But it is my leg that shows my pain,
shows the strength I still tell myself I have
or rather the strength of the weakness I sometimes let take over in it's place-
knee to ankle;
fresh cuts, all bleeding
each a quarter inch apart.
not the most I've ever had, but the longest stretch of my body I've ever covered completely.
and I don't even remember why.
Feb 15, 2013
Feb 15, 2013 at 3:50 AM UTC
I've been thinking. About anger and intensity. About how I can't seem.to muster any, I think I can start. It's okay to Stop nerfing myself.
Every day doesn't have to be some swamp of grey mud.
I think this.
I let myself feel it and tell myself that is okay to not blunt my own edges.
And that makes me angry. So now, what do I do with it?
Mar 11, 2015
Mar 11, 2015 at 11:24 AM UTC
I remember I wore blue, because it was your favorite color.
I remember how you moved away the next year.
We don't talk anymore,
which makes me sad,
because we used to be such good friends.
I liked you. I really liked you.
But you didn't like me.
But it was okay because we still had our friendship.
We bonded over our nerdiness, our mutual obsession with Star Wars.
But now its like we are on opposite sides of the galaxy.
But its okay.
Our friendship existed, it was real.
We will always have those nerf fights at your house,
that awkward dance,
and that time I wore blue.
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 7:50 AM UTC
Hidden deep within folds of twilight
Nestled far between sky and sycamore tree,
Your freedom lies, a weakened prisoner,
Take it.
Each summer day is meaningless
As I think of who she's molding you into
She who birthed you owns the right to your life
Your thoughts
And **** that woman
Who caught you in her thick, encasing, diamond web
Before you could even think for yourself
I say take it!
If not for yourself, for me
For nerf bullets in your chandelier
For piano lessons on cold December Sundays
And why won't you take it?
Shatter those boundaries
The wrought-iron cage she's placed around you
Embrace the foreign sky
For me.
Oct 9, 2013
Oct 9, 2013 at 11:50 PM UTC
Bricks are red,
Some Nerf darts are blue.
All I wanted to say is:
Bro, you ****
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015 at 7:35 PM UTC
Every where you look their are signs
on the billboards to grandmas evening shawl
Dazzling encounter with a super Nerf ball,
on every occasion we meet in passing counter staffing
or to face the nightmare fall into between each other;
Sign to the left of me sings to the right
enormous display of a tremendous body display wrapped in the music display
each encounter safe in between,
such as the J. Geils band..,
there are posters salute the oven
crushed tomatoes in the cellar
with butter suffer in silence,
come across tax men why should we complain yet again
the mere notion of the past brings us to a near future whispers in the window stand out very credible roasted as if a turkey basin in the oven the water lies beneath a brook under a bridge their are frogs under the embankment among the marsh there's a sloppy mess twisted chords of ivory line the trussle i stand alone frightened but yet alive intact this is the dream I had among fallen elf drop soup bowls filled with the residue of cheddar in its taste as we listen close to the river we stand still &deliver Poindexter the black cat comes out in heat to neck reflections in the pale woman with a shawl bristled in her hair and in the lining of her teeth
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018 at 1:45 PM UTC