"myslef" poems
It's in the way she moves her hips
It's in the way her lips touch
It's in the way she bites her lower lip,
Oh how my world turns inside out when she does that
It's the way she says my name
In the way she whispers it, "Lefa... "
Sends shivers all over my body, goosebumps all over again
Problem is, she is taken. Unavailable
It's in the way she looks at me
All the whole new universe inside those eyes I could just get lost in
It's in the way she smiles at me
Just can't help but shy away
It's in the way she wakes all the once buried feelings,
Back from the dead with no regard whatsoever what people might say
It's in the way she makes everything around just lose sense
I know its been years but I can still feel her touch,
Soft, warm feeling
One look at her and I find myslef in high school all over again
Can still remember the very first time I laid eyes on her
Priceless, all words needed to describe her
Short stature
German-cut hairstyle
Gold earrings
Furnished with a smile
Grasshopper shoes
Short grey skirt
One hand in the pocket
Complete with the swing of her small waist when she moves
Still takes my breath away
There is still one problem, she's a taken woman
Maybe I waited a little too long
Maybe it wasn't the right time then
Is it right now?
Maybe I need a hard slap to put some sense back into me
Because right now, I'm deeply in love with a married woman
The worst problem is, I think she's in love with me too..
Aug 11, 2017
Aug 11, 2017 at 3:37 AM UTC
It is all my fault isn't it
I kept apologizing and apologizing
And all you gave me was a hand to talk to
My words just went through one ear to the other
I was better off a mute
Could've been better if I had just let it be
Clearly you were not interested in what I had to say
You already had your mind made up
I know it won't make a difference yet, I am sorry
I made all the excuses
Came up with all the lies
Even after all that
It still made no difference
Your mind is already made up
I am all at fault
And for that, I am sorry
How long should I apologize for you to hear my voice?
How loud should I scream for you to recogize me?
What more should I say for you to believe me?
Well, I am sorry
Even though after all this,
You went ahead and did the same, only worse
You say it's all my fault, is it?
Was there a gun to your head?
Were you just looking for an excuse to do that?
Well, you got it
Now I find myself once more apologizing
No, not apologizing to you nor what I did
I am sorry I tortured myself
I am sorry I blamed myself for your situation, for your choices
I am sorry I wasn't perfect enough
I am sorry
I am sorry for feeling sorry for myslef
I am done apologizing now,
Because, I forgive me...
May 24, 2017
May 24, 2017 at 1:07 PM UTC
I’m scared of touching you.
Of putting my lips on yours,
And tasting the truth.
I’m scared of holding your hand,
And that you’ll never let go.
I’m scared of getting too close,
And not being able to back out.
I’m scared of letting you love me,
And that maybe I’ll love you back.
I’m glad you trust me,
But please stop telling secrets.
Don’t whisper in my ear,
Don’t sing my favorite songs.
I’m trying to make you stop,
Stop the spread your disease.
Disease people call love,
Love I’ll never know.
Knowing how to love is an art,
Art no Mozart could draw.
Draw me closer and you’ll see,
See my bad sides and my truth.
Truth you just can’t bear,
Bear to hear from me.
Me, myself and I,
I think that’s all I have.
Have been like that for ever,
Ever and ever I’d like to keep.
Keep me close but far away,
Away from love, from it all.
All that comes with hiving hugs,
Hugs that hold no meaning.
Means that I don’t want you
You to want me back.
Back is where I want to go,
Go where I felt safe.
Safe and sound sounds good to me,
Me, myself and I.
I like the sound of that.
That’s the way I want it.
That’s how I belong.
Please don’t hold my hand,
Please don’t hold my heart.
I like you how you are,
You like me how I am.
Let’s not change that right now.
I like where I belong.
I’m scared of changing the alphabet,
Putting U right next to I.
It would mess up absolutely everything.
Me, Myself, and I.
I like the sound of that.
Nov 19, 2013
Nov 19, 2013 at 11:59 AM UTC
I preffer fighting in a war and saving people's lifes
than watching my beloved ones destroying eachother.
I want to run away and never come back.
I can't handle those yellings and
i can't stop the tears streaming down my face.
I feel empty. Dead.
I am young, i should laugh and have fun with
my friends but instead i am too scared to smile
because i fear that something bad will happen after it.
I grew up surrounded by hate, by anger.
People often ask me why am i so closed into myslef
why am i so scared of everything.
I hope they never feel what i feel.
See what i see.
I see my parents broken. I see them trying so hard
that they don't see what is happening around them.
They don't see my 7 y/o sister crying herslef to sleep,
they don't hear her scream late at night.
They don't see me how i fear of going home.
How confused and stressed i am.
They only care for themselves and nothing else.
I want to run
run
run
and never come back.
But i won't forget it.
I won't forgive them.
Forgive and forget doesn't work for me.
Jun 11, 2014
Jun 11, 2014 at 3:07 PM UTC
breathe slowly
feeling everything you are giving me
i close my eyes and breathe slowly
submitting to your demands
i begin to open myslef up completely
vulnerable
as you fill me with your loving energy
i am moved
with every breath, i take a step
eyes closed, you guide me
guide me closer to a path
a path to love again.
NaNi
Apr 5, 2016
Apr 5, 2016 at 1:17 PM UTC
I'm sorry I can be bossy and somewhat manipulative
I'm sorry I'm so demanding
I'm sorry I can be so negative
I'm sorry I hurt myself
I'm sorry I've hurt you
I'm sorry I'm such a crybaby, making a such a big deal about nothing
I'm sorry I can't just keep my mouth shut
I'm sorry I'm so bad at helping you
I'm sorry I can't put myslef back together
I'm sorry that you're going through what you are
I'm sorry I can't stay clean
I'm sorry everything is confusing
I'm sorry I can't be strong
I'm sorry I cried myslef to sleep last night
I'm sorry I ran out of tears
I'm sorry I'm so numb and empty
I'm sorry I can't pick myself up and continue on
I'm sorry I'm not skinny enough
I'm sorry I can't do anything right
I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I'm sorry I gave you any idea that I'm worth your time
I'm sorry I wrote this
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm so
so
sorry
Jan 6, 2016
Jan 6, 2016 at 11:50 AM UTC
Age eighteen, living life as a low-middle class suburban jobless fool with a confusing relationship and a five year old boy. I have nerve damage to my left arm, smokers cough and lesser (haha) alcoholism. I guess it's macaroni (not Kraft, way too expensive) and cheese (nothing fancy) tonight. I should apply for a new job tomorrow, but I'll probably have something else to do. Besides that, I have no clothes suitable for an interview anyway. My hair is a wild mess. From behind you might think, **** she doesn't have an ***
...but from straight on, you might think, **** he looks like Slash."
I do not look like Slash, by the way. At least I think not. Maybe with the right hat, but then, I am way too short. I can sing like Slash, though.
I learned to use my voice like, five years ago. How old was I...?
I can read like Joseph Ogle. I love reading. I must have been younger when I started reading good material. Must have been a good few years ago...
I can draw like Dali. I think I found him out in Middle School...
I can play piano like ******* Mozart. I picked up piano earlier...
I can write like...
...well, writing is so unique that comparing myslef to anyone is insulting to both.
Anyway, it's my raw talent, skills that I have owned and honed that drives me to be more.
They say you have to deal with the hand life gave you, but life decided to give me dice, and a couple chance rolls. I may still have a few left. For as long as I live, I will deny and refute the notion that once you lose everything, you should just give up. I have lost. You can talk to me all day about how sad your life is, and how depressed you are, but unless you do something to change your quality of existence, then you're going to roll snake eyes. Snakes bite, friend.
I got a lucky thirteen on my plate. I am content to keep, but I could keep going.
What do you have?
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014 at 5:15 AM UTC
i spur with emotions, drinkin lots potions feeelin nautious yet still hopin,to come out this truth i cant stomach like vommit.
sick with the love bites im scratchin, feeling whats left of my heart, a fraction, my souls is cracked in, sea beast that dwells deep like the crackin,
my actions seem to hold no bounds,snortin pounds,
i keep gettin chained up like kratos, getting chased by hell hounds,
go around my mind, youll see a fault, of my own,
cant stand myself **** ***** im all alone
im pintched tight between **** i dont like,
i choose to be!! only me myslef and I be
dealin with drama , thats takin heavy not lightly.
just a thougth i always ponder.. to creek and somber,
into a sleep were river flows deep like my mind,and conscious.
i fight daily, mind body nd soul, im lossin myself im no longer a whole, ima shell of what i used to be, fill me up with slug, thats all i wish well...that you can recite as my eulogy..
BY: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
5/23/14
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014 at 1:08 AM UTC
In this world we use to live
I wanted to disappear and leave
I try not to cry
But my tears won't dry
In this judgemental world
People throwing painful word
I use not to dare
I don't want to mess and care
I locked myslef up
How can I make it stop
I tried to understand
In this world I use to stand
I wanted to run
And smile so bright like a sun
Because in your simple mistake
People make an issue even if its fake
Oct 30, 2018
Oct 30, 2018 at 11:02 PM UTC
plasticized packaging of ******** another supermarket shelf.
give me another reason why i should give a **** to reason with myslef.
alone and i'm dieing, crippled self. beat and im broken another discarded self.
together we're dreaming, dreaming of dieing, set us free, alone and i'm dieing, liberty.
give in, give up, wasted space. thoughtless protrusion, it isnt me.
giving and taking always mistaking. forgive and forget, I hate myself.
endless illusion, sanity. believing and defying, alone and im crying.
heartless conclusion inflated contusion
lets just breathe.
give it away now, insanity.
bringing it back now, releasing me.
holding my hand now, unity.
May 8, 2013
May 8, 2013 at 7:15 AM UTC
No one is talking, but so much is said. We were gonna stay here but were leaving instead. We both set off but theres just one thing, were going our separate ways, not the same.
They may feed you the lines and fill you with wine, but know that your just their pawn. Soon you'll remember that I was the one, You made your choice and now Im gone.
Morning is a Consequence Id rather not face alone
The hotel floor is my home, cause I couldnt make it sober to bed. Stumbled in and passed out, the ***** straight to my head. The night becomes faded, As this girl becomes jaded the same.
Summer lighting flashes, and only Miami knows
Wake up late in the evening, hungover and believeing, that Id never put myslef through that again. The highway is roaring and the girl is still snoreing, I sit and wait for my ship to come in.
The rain has picked up and the wind has started blowing,
I keep walking this path, but Ive no way of knowing
A cold breeze blows and the rain dies down,
such a busy city and not a soul around.
Been walking for miles and Im soaked to the bone.
So far from anything; so close to home.
May 14, 2013
May 14, 2013 at 10:21 PM UTC
here I am at the edge of this apology
one tap from calling you and telling you how much I miss you.
how my hands are shaky, blocked by my own insecurities
here i am at the bottom of this ***** bottle
tired of being sober
tired of not seeing you
tired of the fact that I let you go
how many times do I have to tell myslef I'll be over you soon
how many prayers do I have to make
my knees are bleeding and my hands are numb
but nothing compares to this ache in my chest
how many nights do I have to miss before i can forget the way you say my name
the way you held my hand,
the way your eyes shudder,
when you held me the first time
our first kiss
i never let any man touch me after you
for I'm afraid that they'll brush your scent off my skin,
here I am at this cliff where i put you
so high
say it on a loop, like a broken record
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
that my insecurities put us here
that my baggage are just too heavy for you to carry
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I've been trying to shut this devil in my head
but my flaws blinds me ,
I could only see my scars and I am ashamed , terrified that you'll look away
this skeleton in my closet is my reflection
you don't deserve this bundle of insecurity
I don't deserve you.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
here I am in our favorite place,
coffee cold for the only warmth I want is off your body
here I am at this end of this poetry,
knees on the floor, hands still praying, heart still aching
here I am still,
still so in love with you
Aug 2, 2019
Aug 2, 2019 at 2:38 AM UTC
you poisoned me
no, you didn't slip arsenic in my food
or spike my Shierly temple
but you left your memories
decaying memories, poisoning me
the toxins of tourniquet leaking
their erosive toxins into my mind
you may not be here
but your memories are
and so the scars
white scars on my wrists
gashes in my heart
i don't know where to start
because your torment has no end
i hope that it might somewhere around the river bend
but the only river i see is from my eyes
part of the watershed of regret
to the ocean of mistakes
i seem to be drowning in
your memory is suffocating
filling my lungs with dispair
Im gasping for air,
but my willingness to swim in fading
so i'm sinking and letting the memories flood my brain
wondering if im going insane
or if its just a side effect
of the poison you called affection
a medication that apparently turned "no" into "yes"
and hiking up my dress...
and the poision, you,
your memories eve the happy ones hurt
the happy disguise of a smile
that would ultimately lead to teary eyes
and trouble with other guys
all because you poisoned me
and its effects are lingering
its not just a one and done
its an std of the mind
it stays around even after your gone
so check yourself and your actions
dont dare poison someone else
do not add to the watershed of regrets
i want clean water
to wash away my infected mind
but no amount of soap
or blades or nails
could possibly wash away your posion
because now its part of me
congratulations,
you dont no longer have to posion me'
you've turned me on myslef
like some auto immune disease
of the heart and the mind
because i will never forget when i called you mine
and i wish i could,but its branded
so i'm left stranded
in my ocean of regrets and poisoned water shed
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016 at 12:22 AM UTC
Chorus
Am I really that crazy, am i really insane. Has my brain been knocked out of stage. While trying to block out all the noise. All that seems real, cause lately ive been a thinkin the only thing thats missing is you.
Stuck in a moving phase. Quntum Blue. OH OH OH. What you get for. Who ya leave ignored. Everthing that i know someane going outlawed. Grass is green. To rich is greed. What've we meant to be. Going on to be stronger. Made for more, trying a little harder. Eyes toward the sky. Crying what is to look forward. Theres gotta be a ticket hidden beneath the train. More than the scenes on Tv. In this world all that we got, aint much when the end comes. Made my mind im the one that can change. Our chains Leaving the children on their decisions . Leave them hanging on the edge. Hearing what weve said. Fall back to get ahead. To each is ow n is everything ive known. Instead being hollow, walking down the wrong hole.Does something come of nothing is at it seems. I mean what i say. Im out of place out of line. Can't get ahead when your so far behind. Slipping and sliding while im sleeping im fighting. When im lazy im trying. But i can't reach far enough. To let go of sorrow holding onto morals. More or less is the best way to go. From the ground looking up i feel so small. And so far been searching for where you are.
Chorus
Am I really that crazy, am i really insane. Has my brain been knocked out of stage. All that seems real, cause lately ive been a thinkin the only thing thats missing is you.
Waiting for truth. I see myslef in the windows. Look out from my bedroom. Hope you reaching my roof soon. 9:00 o'clock i study in the dark. The words said the things youve done. Written in the red letters of the Holy Ghost. All that ive known. Just left me folded on the road. Getting colder in my clothes. In my shoes is a person that chooses from the clouds ive found. Asking around
Chorus
Am I really that crazy, am i really insane. Has my brain been knocked out of stage. All that seems real, cause lately ive been a thinkin the only thing thats missing is you
Mar 24, 2010
Mar 24, 2010 at 6:45 PM UTC
-Descubierto
Escondido, hidden it was
Cubierto covered by comprartment rationalizations
Untrained eye saw the flower in the dandelion unwilling to let die
Disdain kept this little girl afraid weary on the outskirts of foraging paths to explore her brain
I was taught to desire a label fit a characture in Cinderella fable only to find, I don't fit
I sat down for dinner with my darkest allegories
I let theme name me
Highlight every frailty within me
Oh no don't stop go on I said
Under my fog of dark
Disdain kept this little girl afraid
Weary on the outskirts of foreging paths to explore her brain
I was taught to desire a label fit a characture in cinderella fable only to find I don't fit
Marinating in poison I lined myslef up beside my expectations
fail fail fail
I cannot See now
All is etched in dark at the enemies table
Disdain kept this little girl afraid weary on the outskirts of foreging paths to explore her brain I was daught to desire a label fit a characture in Cinderella fable
Omnipotent hope
After dinner I drank of peace
It caressed my bones and forced the enemies strangle hold to release
Peace renewed
Threading hope through my sinews
If u Must live
Don't try and grow under the hat they give U or wear a label sign
Live to ur own rythm
Sing to the chorus outside of time
Jun 23, 2014
Jun 23, 2014 at 1:43 AM UTC
drinking drops of poison you think u are better beacuse society says its the norm, u drink more than u need because u dont see the irony. killing the one within, leaving source and drowing ur soul. i know there is better out there, because i have seen the sights and listened to the sounds, i sent myself a post card from the depths, asking myslef to get me out of here, and as i crawled my way out of the misguided representation of myself, i slowly but effectively learnt that life is greater than we allow it to be... So i tell you this not because i think ur ready but because if u ever are, it could help.
Dec 17, 2011
Dec 17, 2011 at 7:14 AM UTC
Little girls in my opinion aren't little
Im little but im too big to be little
I have to deal with big girl bites but i can't have my binkie
Little girl
Little girl
Let me touch you
Be little but have a big mind too
My mouth must be innocent
My thoughts clean
But i have to deal with dark things
Sleep in a princess bed you make yourself
Too short to reach on the shelf
But im a big girl so i have to get it myslef
I fell off the latter
"Well why didn't you ask for help?"
Im a big girl but im too little too...
Oct 4, 2016
Oct 4, 2016 at 7:01 PM UTC
I only write when I am falling in love
Or on the height of its adversary
But this time I write
As I pick myslef from chaos
To rebuild who I am
And continue living.
May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 7:05 AM UTC
"I'm bored"
Please tell me what to do so I won't hurt myslef
Please keep me happy because my demons are coming
Please distract me from myself
Please help hide me from my thoughts
Please just help me
Jan 5, 2016
Jan 5, 2016 at 6:10 PM UTC
Alexis, get a job
Alexis, do your homework
Alexis, don't forget about Missouri state
Alexis, are you ready to move out
Alexis, are you ready to graduate
Alexis, don't forget about school
Alexis can you pick up your brothers I'm not home yet
Alexis can you run to the store
Alexis go to bed
Alexis do this
Alexis do that
Alexis get out of your room
Alexis don't get sassy with me
Alexis go to your room
WHAT THE **** MOM AND DAD
WHY THE **** SHOULD I WORRY ABOUT COLLEGE
I'M ONLY 16
I understand i'm turning 17 but still you guys put way too much pressure on me
just stop asking so much of me
I can only handle so much before i explode
Right now I'm about to explode
I cant handle all of these things
Let me worry about what i need to worry about
That is school and myslef
I don't need to worry about college and moving out
I'M ONLY 16!
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 2:05 PM UTC
I'm not really sure of where I stand
Of my importance of who I am
Everything has been ever so really
Hopeless and dreary
A land of wasted effort
With all my hopeless endeavors
I am aware my mind is corrupted
And know my very existence is destructive
Not only to myslef, but to those in which I care
Bringing an atmosphere of despair
Although I have sorrows of my own
You are easily decieved by the mask I've shown
I'm aware of you're sincere unhappiness
I can feel pain with each needing kiss
Though you believe that my eyes are decieved
My love you are wrong
I see every wince of pain, and my heart urns with guilt
For the very destiny I partook and have built
I know there is not much I can do for you now
So I figured at least give my best and love with a vow
I know there is pain far beyond my compensation
But you cannot be driven by self-mutilation
I guess you will believe I am too blind see
But my love it hurts to know what I've done
So I'm sorry I cannot be the very best of the best
But I will give you all of me, at least what is left
In hope that you live your life, whether short or long,
Full of love and affection, for as long as you hold on
Now I cannot will you stay for that is selfish
I just hope in the fure you won't feel so helpless
May 16, 2014
May 16, 2014 at 4:02 PM UTC
A greater cause,
means a better life.
Or atleast so they voice.
But how do you fight for what is right;
when all you dispose of is knife?
I ask myself who is my greatest enemy?
Is it me, myslef, or I?
Mybe all I need is a remedy.
To make all the wrong rectify.
I know that all of what I am capabe of holding is a weapon.
But how do you use such a thing when you can't tell the difference between your foe and your allies?
All I see are demons who seem to have come from the heart of heaven.
But afetr all, isn't that everybodies homeland. Even the devil knows all of its alleys.
But mybe weapons as deadly as they can be,
are the more or less something like you and me.
Mybe they weren't found for the unique cause of killing.
Pedro Reyes made weapon in art fullfilling.
What was war's greatest tool.
Has now become harmony's moor.
What was used in fights caused by sheer unreason.
Has now brought all people even.
All those cries,
all those tries.
And I still can't realize:
what on earth can possibly be my cause.
Oct 24, 2019
Oct 24, 2019 at 4:24 PM UTC
I felt bad heartache in my dream
A dream, that came at the time of dusk
When the clouds were escaping
And the sound from mosque was dense and sad!
It shattered and saddened me too much,
This much that still i cry in pain of that heartache.....
It was burnt into dark ashes
Like dark sky indwelling upon the heart of gold dust...
And he screamed through the broken window;
"Take care of him, he cudnt walk
He cudnt speak
My heart has shattered into millions like a broken dream,
And like these ashes that you see,
Darkness has occupied completely Me!
He had my heart
And he was the mode of my breath
Now that all is gone
Speech has lost its ways towards me!"
And me;
I looked into his broken eyes
Filled with thousands of his unheard screams,
"I cudnt hold him to my chest
His toys still i keep but
That smile those glee
I cudnt soake myslef in thee,
Lost and saddened and shattered,
Like this ever-lasting gloomy eve"
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 7:07 AM UTC