Maddii Lloyd

Maddii Lloyd Jun 2017

Its been a while since ive picked up a pen and paper
but been even longer since i picked up a blade

ive come to live with my insecurities
my imperfections
my mistakes

i dont need makeup to be beautiful
i dont need to starve myself to be happy
i dont need to loose weight to be skinny

im me for a reason
i have scars for a reason
i have differences for a reason

it may have taken me a while to figure this out
but everything takes time...

Maddii Lloyd Dec 2016

Unexpected love..

i found the devil
i found him in a lover

Maddii Lloyd Nov 2016

The Questions that never get answers..

why do we constantly question ourselves, think we arent good enough? think we need to change into someone we arent. why do we always want to change ourselves, but fear change?
why does the pain of rejection hurt so much, why do we always fall for someone that we know will never love us back but still try for their love.
why is change what we want, why do we change, why do we feel the need to. what is it like to be yourself? the true you, to be happy again.
what would it be like not to worry for once, to be stress free for once.

Maddii Lloyd Nov 2016

What is Love?

what is love. the true feeling, meaning of love? why do we feel it? when do we really know that we are in love.
why does it hurt, why does it end,when does it start. why does it happen?
how do we know? does it only ever happen once, how do we know who is the one?
define love, define the feeling, define the struggle. who feels it?
does everyone fall in love? do we all get our heart broken, when do we know to end it.
why do we only fall for certain people. what if they dont make us happy, why do we pursue a relationship with then, why do we only want them, need the, think about them.
why do we only think we need them to make us happy. why?

Maddii Lloyd Nov 2016

Life.

Life. what what does it mean. when does it really start and when does it end?
what do we get out of it, why does it go on? why dont all of us end it short, when does the pain of it start?
why do some have it better then others, why cant we all be happy? why doesnt the struggle stop.
when will it get better? who decides what happens, why do they decide what happens. why dont we ever get a warning when things are going to happen? we never are prepaired for whats next, but thats life its one big adventure

Maddii Lloyd Nov 2016

Her

her the one you loved
the one you once loved
the one you never loved

her the one you used
the one you abused
the one you lied to

her the one you hit
the one you laughed at
the one you left

you remember her?

yes you do,
well im sorry to say she is no longer
with us anymore.
why?
do you really care..
you do now dont you?

all the times you treated her bad.
hit her
lied to her
told her you loved her
all the times you lead her on

were they for fun or what?
they were fun at the time.
now she is really gone

and you feel bad!
because deep deep down
you really did love her
you did want to be with her
you didnt want to hurt her
but you did.

now shes gone.
taken her life
and you are the reason.
i hope you are happy
and can live with the feeling of treating
someone that bad
they had to take their own life.

Maddii Lloyd Oct 2016

Did you?

did you miss me all those days?
the ones where I didn't message you
call you, talk to you?

did you miss me when I went away?
just left not saying goodbye
for weeks, or even months on end?

NO!

so I don't get it.
I don't get you, why do you miss me now?
now im lying on my death bed.
from taking my own life
you never once said you missed me

but theres the thing, and I want an ******* answer.
did you?