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ketjil Sep 2019
You can’t compare yourself
With the unbroken girls
Surrounding you
You already shattered
Creating
A new form
Of beautiful

-jt
a somewhat older poem
he's bringing ****
back to my ipod and hips
agodamn that boy
I might have just been listening to Justin Timberlake while writing and then-
DP Younginger Nov 2014
Inside, I’m a house-cat with claws like Hugh Jackman- he’s been waiting on hold for an hour and a half.

I’m a Ghost-type Pokemon wearing a powder blue LT jersey from a time when JT was all glamour shots.

Today I’ll smoke a bowl next to my open window and then spend the entire night hoping my parents stay brainwashed by the Smart TV.

How come all the advertisements on the side of each website I view are related to me in some way or form?

Sometimes I have dreams about shadow monsters hanging out with my Cookie Monster doll.

When I sob my father’s name, it responds by tickling my toes at the end of the bed and twisting my ******* when I fall back to sleep.

My ears are like Batman’s pet bat, except in this world my eyes accumulate wax.

I’m a house-cat hopped up on cat-nip and I can’t sleep so let me be.
Rachel Mary Jun 2013
i was going to write a poem about you
but i decided
you're not worth it
ketjil Sep 2019
What if
You have been fighting
A losing battle
All along
What if
The silence
Within you
Is only
The calm
Before the strom
And
It is going to be a fight
You just cannot
Win

-jt
my biggest fear.
Joey T Nov 2012
I try to put the words together
make em eb an flow...
the waves were crashing all around
and began to rock the boat..
it crashed and left him stranded
and enveloped in the swoll..
hes fighting for the surface but he's
being pulled below...
deep down in to the recess of his
dark an dreary mind...
hes surrounded by the thoughts
and feelings of every single kind...
now unsure to where to go from
here its all become to much...
whats real or fake or in between he's
got no reality to clutch...
but now hes scratched the surface
and the disk begins to skip...
hes starting to let go a little push and
then he slips...
he finds himself together
he's perfectly in tact...
now hes got the power harnessed
no way he can look back...
His goal becomes destruction
he begins to look around...
He sees the lies that torture him,
his target he has found....
the source of all this pain and hurt
your deceptions were so good...
How you always faked the smile
he's never understood....
In his mind he begins erasing never saving
what was bad...
Now anything he didn’t want its if he's
never seen or had...
The good did come but came and
went just lost along the way...
Now he sat up and smiled
for he had come upon today....
Just up on the horizon the sun had begun to rise...
the light began to take him
he tightly closed his eyes...
He awoke to find himself alone
just lying on the shore...
He breathed in deep to his relief
he had been there before...
This beach he had imagined every night
he lay in bed....
This place was his escape from all thoughts
inside his head...
The water washed up on his feet
it began to come and go...
The waves they crashed just like the words
that so did eb and flow
-JT
ck Oct 2014
JT
You were my first.
You were my longest, real thing.
I don't know why I didn't open myself up to you more.
I remember when you told me you "weren't looking for anything".
But, that you still enjoyed my company and cared about me more than most people.
This happened when you lost your job.
You were outside, exchanging words with some sort of boss.
I looked out at this through your window, shivering, naked.
I knew it wasn't good.
I got up, put my clothes on, and walked to my car.
You immediately saw me and followed.
I got in, you got in.
You asked me to come back inside, that it was cold and we could lay in bed and forget whatever was happening.
I didn't go back inside.
I went to see someone else, someone I shouldn't have.
I told you I was going home.
I lied.
I wish I would have stayed with you.
Maybe things would be different now.
Maybe things wouldn't be different now.
It was a hard time for you.
The anniversary of your mother's suicide, the loss of your job.
You were in no shape for me, I know.
And I didn't even know I loved you until it all ended.
This is hard.
ketjil Sep 2019
Today
I wore black
Because
Event hough
I am still breathing
I am no longer
Alive

-jt
LD Goodwin May 2013
Just mahogany and horsehide glue,
machine heads and a ***** or two.
Plywood top, solid sides and back,
bone and fake ivory, ebony, and shellac.

Steel and bronze wire, to make her ring.
A well placed sound hole to let her sing.
But for love or money I played here every week,
for 30 years she has earned my keep.

Four star restaurants, or beer soaked bars,
or serenading a lover under summer night stars.
A joyous birthday, sad funeral of a friend,
she's always been there, on one I can depend.

Drunken'- Dancin' New Years Eve bashes,
barbequed sun baked poolside splashes.
St. Valentine's Day love songs, wine and roses,
or a smoky old blues club that never closes.

A nursing home sing along on St. Patty's day,
a hurricane party till we all got blown away.
Christmas carols by soft candlelight,
I've played this guitar most every night.

From Florida to Canada, Vegas to NYC,
from Frank Sinatra, to Conway Twitty.
Zeppelin to Bach, JT to Pink Floyd,
anything to keep me from being employed.

One night in Nashville Greg Allman played on her,
And asked me to join him, oh what an honor.
We make people happy, we bring them together,
when I play on her I am as light as a feather.

Some fell in love, and got married from our tunes,
some nights we're alone on sugar beach dunes.
She's filled up my tip jar, and filled up my heart.
Because of this guitar my life got its start.

I've sat up with her all night, when she was sick,
changed strings a million times, broken many a pick.
Caressed her, strummed her, as she dashed my fears,
cussed her and ****** her, as she tasted my tears.

With her I wooed my lover, until she married me.
She has been my addiction, and she has set me free.
They applaud for me, but she's really the star.
I know it's just wood and wire, but she's my guitar.
###====(==O==== )###====(==O==== ) ###====(==O==== )

*For my Takamine "Lawsuit" I bought in Nashville in 1982.
Harrogate, TN  May 2013
ketjil Sep 2019
Oh Artemis
Girl of the wild
Girl of the moon
Goddes girl

Oh Artemis
Daughter of lighting
Daughter of rain
Daughter of storms

Oh Artemis
You swore an oath
Did you not?

Oh Artemis
What would your father say
If he found out
You broke it?

But
Oh Artemis
Break it
I beg you
Break your promise
And bring me the moon

-jt
a bit of mythology
Robyn Nov 2015
God is my master.
I love Him more than all in my life.
He is the Master of my mind, my body, my heart.
He is my Shepherd.
He is beautiful.
He is love.
He is perfect.
He loves me more than I can comprehend.

God is telling me to stay.
So I will stay.
I cannot leave my church.
I cannot leave my family.
I cannot leave my city.
This is where I belong.
This is where I belong.
This is where I belong.

I belong. I belong. I belong.

In God I am made pure.
In God I am made clean.
In God I am rinsed of my sin.
In God I am white as snow.

Countless second chances He has given me.
Dear Lord, I need another today.
Today - I ask You for forgiveness.
Make me clean again.

I pray for them.
Ryan Kimmy Chiso Becky Dave Iris Mom Dad Kellie Tim Grandma Tim Debbie Laura Grandpa Betty Cindy Lori Shea Asher John Al Brian Teri Pamm Louie Chris Michael Tristan Bailey Victor Nikkie Mailee Andrew The Zachary's Kylie Michael and Megan Jade Airika Allie Bill Moriah Madison Mike Lani Moriah Tori Lenni Todd Maddie Hilary Holly Bella Jamie JT Bella Abby Sarah Anna Rick Ashtin Aaron Aleasha Christian Brian Gus Abbie Jenn Alec Jean Lois Larry Ryan Jake Bud Erin Tyler Jasmine Launts Wendy Michael Bella Sam Tony Ryan Ian Deric Jen Sam Erin Hanna Jamie Chad Mia Laura Tony Alena Tyrus Jack Luke Jenny Greg Reagan Kennedy Wilson Konni Wayne Brian Cammy Trina Mike Kameron Kasey Nikki Lexi Jelly Harley Izzie Rosie DJ Lillian Adrian Avery Asher Tyler Heidi Dan Sarah Ryan Griffin Daniel Jessica Pax Cory Abel Chandra Dave Julia Bethany Chris Orion Lindsay Twila Tracy Brandon Nate Braeden Amanda Jonah Luke Crosby Charlie Mark Debbie Ian Joy Susan Catherine Jeff Jill Andy Anna Joel Jacquie Tracy Shelby Brenden Grace Bruna Brendan Jadan Ariel Rick Johnna Laila Becca Joren Skylar David Lovins Gettys Nanny Papa My Cousins Grace Wanda Lamont Michael Amy Stephanie Tyler Tim Jeff Anthony Mikayla Emily Emily Sabrina Thomas Caleb Rene Sabra Autumn Cort Riley Cole Kaylee Amber Eryn Christina Trinity Bethany Kati Ben Jacob Megan Megan

and so so many more

May God bless you and keep you
Amen
ketjil Sep 2019
What do I do
When my breaths
Form clouds
In winter air
No longer
Evidence
Of my frozen insides
Bones
Of ice
Frozen blood
Unable to run
Fingertips
Turning blue
Snowflakes
Sticking to my eyelashes
Framing
Frigid eyes
Burning cold
Tears
Stain my
Snow white
Cheeks
Landing
On blue lips
Breathing
Frozen
Breaths

-jt
Alyssa Yu Oct 2014
i. (kc) was the catalyst
the first to convince me that I could be loved
and the only one to make me believe I was capable of loving back
...for about two weeks.

ii. then (jt) arrived
popular
suave
and dorkily crushing on the one girl who couldn't return his affections.
but it wasn't until the first time I heard my name and 'beautiful' in the same sentence
that i realized there might be faultlines in my heart
shaking the love out of my body like lunch money from a scrawny kid's pockets.

iii. the first time i broke someone
the process was anything but (sl)ow
and it was then that i realized
i was getting too comfortable sleeping with regret, curled up like a black cat beside me.

iv. fortunately for me
(je) had 20/20 vision.
he saw through the mask, forced me to face myself until i couldn't help but punch my own reflection
and though his words almost convinced me that i could be saved
his empty stare reminded me that i wasn't worth the trouble.

v. looking back, the initials should've warned me
that he would be the (ss) to our sinking ship,
that we were fated to drown.
but he was coldstronghard as metal
and it took me a two years, one month, and one day
to learn that even silver can be tarnished.

vi. the name was fitting, i guess.
(jr) was finer than any greek hero
and were he a god, I would've named the planets after him too.
he was as reckless as the roman empire
scratching himself on the thorns of my soul just to find something worth saving.
was it because of compassion or guilt or shame
that I put Ariadne's string in his hands
so he could navigate his way out
and run for his life.
maybe it was because
I was so used to the echoes in my head
IendeditIendeditIendedit
that through the tears, I still managed to smile at the words
he ended it.
JT Apr 2016
I hate myself
But Im gonna try to keep living
I just wanna know why I cant use the brain that I've been given
Every time I wanna study I need ******* adderall
Maybe its cuz I don’t have a ****** brain at all
I cant stand this awful ****** up life that I've been living
For god sakes put down the ****** cell phone for two minutes
I want success so bad that I can ******* taste it
But instead of reading books
All I do is copy and paste it
And scribble these words on a page while I’m wasting my time
**** I can’t even be motivated by a dollar sign
When did the rise come? before the fall?
Cuz right now I feel like I cant get up at all
I literally don’t know if I can feel anything at all
And I wanna scream all the way down the ****** hall
But nobody can hear me so I’ll probably tweet this gay ****
Then go into the bathroom and beat my gay ****
Honestly I think its all I’m good for at this moment
I made my girl sick of me and not cuz my ***** is potent
But literally because I ******* think with my ****
I might be sick and now I’m just sick of being a *****
I thought I was a true man and now I’m unsure
If this is true love then I don't want it anymore
I thought i was someone else I thought I was real
But I danced with the devil and he made me a deal
An offer I couldn’t refuse, that made I wound I’ll never heal
He said I’ll turn off your mind so you don’t have to use it
Now you go out and use your slick words and make up excuses
Start using your **** and smoke **** til you abuse it
Start turning off the light in your mind until you lose it
Then hate your ******* self and wonder why you have these bruises
Wonder why your friends hate you and your dreams were shorted
***** SHUT THE **** UP YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED
I made myself sick that’s why I look this way
And I’ll still be sick until the day I change my ways
But I’m too ******* dumb now to fix my past
“Hey JT lets go drink ***** and chase some ***”
“Okay sounds good, because **** a commitment”
are you serious dude your ******* worse than an infant!
You really don’t deserve anything at all
You’re a coward and I really hope you always fall
Hope you always fail because of what you did
you were a mistake and don't ******* forget it kid
Your parents didn’t want you so they left without a thought of you
And now you have some parents that really ******* love you
But you must have a ******* guardian angel above you
You must have done something right cuz no one has hung you
Honestly cut off the bad fruit from the tree
**** the lies ive told and replace them with honesty
Honestly, I do not want this life anymore
I gave up the girl I loved for some dumb ******* *****
How dumb are you to have to be to be doing any of this
You should slit your wrists drink a 5th and jump off a bridge
That’s why now my fam hates me and I have no friends
And I’ll read this to myself any time I get too high
Just to remind myself of all the **** I let pass by
And how I’ll never know any real truth or love
I just wanna curse out all the skies above
And if I’m reading this to you don’t feel bad for me please
I’m the one who put himself down on his own two knees
And crawled *** backwards into my own nightmares
I thought it was all a dream now I cry real tears
And honestly I’m done **** it I don’t care
I just wish I could fix the things I know I can’t repair
Who is that? The one with the ugly *** face
Oh that’s jt he used to ******* run this place
Til he sold his ******* soul and he lost his mind
Now he’s a puddle of nothing and he must be blind
He cannot see what he’s done and he does not care
I look hard but I don’t see myself anywhere
ketjil Oct 2019
I am afraid
Afraid to grow old
To have my hair turn white
And my hands grow gnarled
I am afraid
Of time
Shaping me
Making me
A different person
Changing me
I am afraid
To forget
The time
Long gone
I am afraid
Of running
Out of time

-jt
Ottar Dec 2013
Life going up flights of stairs too many missed steps,
                     too many cares,
Life going down the same repetitive staircase, when
you get to
                the top or bottom,
                                              toe tapping,
                                                        ­        what stares
                                                          ­                        you in the face?
Go ahead tell it to the mountain of concrete,
Go ahead break out the map and compass,
                                     don't get pompous,
                                                        ­            find a way through the concrete jungle,
                                                         ­        hey you might find the treasure or bungle,
your way,
the way,
              you did it, better than expected, sing a duet with Frank, while the rest
                                                            ­                                 tank the results,
of shame,
no game,
cold hands
                  of stone
                              touching the frigid corpse
                                                          ­            of a loved one,
                                                            ­                              time to say good-bye  
oh why
             do we
                       miss the
                                    ones that
                                                   fill us
                                                            wi­th regret
                                                          ­                   of more shame,

WHY can't the stairway to heaven be found
  all there is to walk on, is down and down,

wanting to climb out of the basement for a change,
wanting to climb onto a roof top and sing a refrain,
with JT,
needing to sing a Hallelujah, from the gut
                      still it never gets beyond but...

dancing is out,
singing is a bust,
leave enough ink to write with
words covered in rust,
that flakes and falls
like snow gone old,
so no story gets told.

Another day on the gravy train, the office is closed for Another Day,
                                                                ­               in a bad way, so,
"So won't you stay, a little bit longer"
she turns to walk away,
"please please say that you will"
the shape and shadow grows smaller
as the pit in my stomach grows more hollow,
                                                         ­                emptied out.

That moment, lasted only a moment,
                                                         now emptied out.


©DWE122013
In quotes, "Up on the Roof" - James Taylor
The fun I had at my new school




You see as I entered my new school, I was given the red carpet
By a friend who grabbed me by the neck and gave me tickle torture
And some of the older girls were saying keep away from me Brian Allan
And just muck with the boys, and then after that I listened to the 70s and 80s
Music on the boom box and I really wanted to hear it, he played songs from
AC/DC, and also from the red hot chilli peppers, and even the best from Billy
Ray Cyrus, and then some of the other boys spoke to me about going bowling
And others spoke to me about getting playboys, and also after that the girls
Were teasing me because I went to bed early, but I wanted to function
Well, so I can feel good and also some of the other families picked on me
Just because I was playing outside with my brother, especially when I was having fun
Playing football, you see back in my previous life, I played in the SANFL and
I don't have to worry about not playing footy in this life and I hear everybody treating
Me like an old fucken fogie, just because I want to go to bed abd get ready for work,
You see my friends are saying to me, through houses, things like, imagine what I would say
If I,,,, and he was so determined to treat me like a koomarri man,,even if I am still cool
And I know if he is still trying to tease me like that, he is living in 1987, where he is looking like a total ****** fucken ******, even if he ain't really saying it, but if he is, it just goes to show, that he is still living back in 1987, where he was actually very hip, but as a natural
Fact, dudes, I don't ever see him out, so I don't want to worry about lasers like him anymore, because, really, yes we had fun times, but, I mean, I have to move on, and if I don't see him again, well, dudes, so be it, he was fun, but I ain't jittering for him, no fucken way, I see visions of him trying to contact my brother through houses, and saying the kinds of things he said to me, he said, mate, don't be like Brian lately, I don't want to teaee Brian really, it just that he is unaware of the kind of old fogie, we treated him like, and also, I ain't a yeah mate yeah kid either, cause if he doesn't answer the phone, which I won't, it's his choice, you see, sometimes when he was young, he was too shy, and I wouldn't mind him hanging with me, but, he seemed to enjoy the family life better, but I never realised he didn't like Lyle, but, no, I don't think he is like Lyle, I want him to go to bed, because, if he works, he needs to sleep, to get rid of any sign of tiredness to face the day at work, you see, sometimes I hear my father and mother teasing me, because I am obsessed with evercise, and also I am obsessed with arty things, and I know dad isn't into art, but also Pat wasn't into art either, but I only want to muck with adults with an interest in art and not the rich ones, I am very interested in having art exhibitions showing off al, my art, and also I know what all my art is about, and a lot if it, is the fun times I had with my friends at school, I love art and I love to put on an art exhibition, and I want people to understand me for the artist I am now, and not the ****** I was in the past. I am aware that people are teasing me, but you can teaee me all you like, but who gives a flying ****, oh yeah, dudes, get ******, mate, get ****** mate yeah man, as you go down the dunny can, and that girl says, we're not mucking with you Brian Allan, no Brian Allan, we're not mucking with you, and the Canberra crowd says, your still like the kids, man,,don't try and be like us, I don't wanna do that again, neh, your still like us, ya ****** buddy, Bri,  urn, so sit there Bri,    Urn and do your stories, you see mate, your still not like us, mate, you are still an old fogie, cause you keep leaving me on my lonesome , and I will say, come on, you poor little baby, I am leaving you on your own, what's wrong little Patty, are you worried that I am not mucking with you, I went to pubs and danced with the chicks, I am still a ******, dude but I don't care, come on Patty, call me a loser, come on mate, call me a loser, come on mate, call me a loser, and then Pat says, I might kidnap him in a minute, but It was only Pats voice, in fact, it was Steven Bradley, who
Noticed my last life, Graham Thorne, jittering for his sister like a boy, and Steven Bradley has kept me in, so I wouldn't be a young dude, you see he went, trying to be a young dude, trying to be a young dude,,trying to be a young dude, cause you are still a ****** man,
So sit there, Bri.   Urn and don't move a muscle, you ain't a young dude anymore, so u don't want to tease you Bri. Urn, I just want you to lighten up a bit, because, get ****** buddy, yeah yer mate, your like us, but I might yell out get ****** Brian every time he jitters from now on, especially at work, but he is allowed to have music on, but, you know, mate, we ain't really teasing him, and  don't want to tease him, by ringing him up, cause I have a hunch that he gathers it might have been me, who rang him up, but, mate he wasn't like Lyle then,,but I was treating him like a mummys boy, because he is too shy to leave him home, but I heard that he might've moved out when I rang him up,,  I the hell would I know, we don't see much of each other much, you see, jt's nice to live on our own, but you should still go to bed when your tired, and you should make new friends,, and yes, you should talk about cooler things than just about people, but really, we just don't really want you to tell us your life story, but if you a creative keep it up, we're adults now, your cool


Sent from my iPhone
ketjil Jan 2020
Shapeshifter
Girl of many faces
Got lost
In between transitions
What is your true form?
Carefully crafted masks
Set out in front of you
Which one
Will you wear
Today?

-jt
ketjil Sep 2019
You were such a beautifully kind girl
Now not a whisper is left of her
What happened?
Dear girl
What happened,
To turn the princess
Into the monster
Maybe
It is that we all forgot
That even angels fall
to become the devil

-jt
Michael A Duff Jul 2020
I could it have been chance, our connection so deep it could be seen by the blind?

Are two souls spilt searching for eternity to be reunited, I can say the moment it felt complete like none other?

Hold too tightly or too loosely jt slips away, eternity is long we will see each other again.

It couldn't have been chance.
I k we I was having fun but what I didnt know in my life was a connection so deep, finding my other half in a fiery painfully obsessed beautiful woman with a past to drown your soul.
ketjil Jan 2020
you
You are there
Like an ache
In my bones
You are there
Like a heaviness
In my heart
You are there
Like a fixture
In my mind
You are everywhere
In the way I dress
And walk
And talk
And think
You are everywhere
Except in my arms

-jt
if I were only less lonely
Ellie Taps Nov 2016
"Love is blind.
Love isnt blind. It's blurry"
-JT Rama.
ketjil Sep 2019
When I am feeling down
bring me
your soft voice
and your sweet lips
hold me tight
when I can’t
keep myself together
bring me you
and everything
will be okay

-jt
let me know what you think!
The Chinese Sage Hang In said: If
You believe there is a state of mind
That if you had it All would be well
Then believe it is Now then travel to
Jt again.  There is no in between-stay
On that road for as far as it goes-there
Is no alternative route-enjoy the journey
There is no hurry,  Perhaps we will meet
Along the way.  All is Well  All is well
ketjil Sep 2019
Funny
How you like to hide
In the darkest corners
Of your room
Isn’t that
where the monsters
are?
Or
Are you
The monster?

-jt
ketjil Nov 2019
Kisses
Like
Coming Home
Warm
As the morning sun
Filtering
Through the window
Arms
Wrapping around you
Holding you
Keeping you
Safe

-jt
ketjil Oct 2019
nubes current
caeruleo picto caelo
cantante vento
et flores saltant
gramibus
-it

the clouds run
over the blue painted sky
whilst the wind sings
and the flowers dance
with the grass
-jt
my first poem in latin! I know it isn't that good but i tried.
ketjil Oct 2019
Covered by a blanket of stars
Their light
Dancing between my fingers
Smiling
At the simple beauty
Of the night sky

-jt
ketjil Oct 2019
Those moments
In which
My body is too heavy
To move
And i can’t
Find
The will
To breathe

-jt
ketjil Sep 2019
My breath
Forming clouds
In winter air
Evidence
Of the flames
Burning
In my stomach
Evidence
The fire
Running through my veins
Fingertips
Melting snow
Ashes
Sticking to my eyelashes
Framing
Blazing eyes
Freezing hot
Tears
Burn
My cheeks
Landing
On burned lips
Breathing
Fire

-jt
Me you us we are hoping that we last forever you wont break my heart will you? I wont break yours I write this while i think of you this love is real i know i gave my heart you gave me your i hope i see your face every day almost im thinking is this real this thing we call love is jt real yes are we the best we can be yes are you mine yes am i yours yes our little fights go through our minds the reason we are diffrent every time i see you im happy feel a little better love me love you the love we have is real.
ketjil Sep 2019
My body is heavy
My eyes are u n f o c u s e d
I
Can’t
         Find
                The
                      Strength
To

-jt
sometimes.
ketjil Jan 2020
You whisper
my name
against
my lips

like
a prayer
to the gods

-jt
Graham Oct 2019
{Based on true events}

There was a war
An intense battle
My friend was fighting
She always felt an excruciating pain
And she smiled a lot to cover it up
I know this cos we've been friends since childhood
We practically became one
My very own person
Sometimes she felt like giving up
But I wouldn't let her
So I decided to fight with her
The only way I could have
By being the most annoying person she could've ever loved
I showed up, "Always"
At least for a while I think I made her forget bout it all
A truce would be made during those hours
For she was at peace
On a good Friday
She told me she wanted to dance
And I was like "hell no, you don't know how to dance anything"
She laughed.
I whipped out my phone played "Mirrors by JT"
May I have this dance mi'lady?
We both laughed.
Slow dancing our way through the moment
"I don't wanna lose you now
I'm looking right at the other half of me" ♬♬
She started crying
Emotional hazard like me, I started crying too
Then wey hugged like we'd never before
Then we kissed
For the first time
I kissed my best friend
And also for the last time
For there was a war inside her that was made of her.
ketjil Sep 2019
I
My body is a temple
Ancient and crumbling
I speak in languages
Old as dust
The sea
Retreats when I come near
The earth
Quakes beneath my feet
Trees
Bow to me
When i walk past
Don’t mistake me
For one of the gods
Even they
Fear me
Even I
Fear me

-jt
ketjil Sep 2019
You whisper
my name
against
my lips

like
a prayer
to the gods

-jt
Jerry Howarth Oct 2021
This is not a poem, this is a story of a an 83 yr old man, that
got away with lying aboat his actual age, so he could box,
for the light weight Dallas County Iowa, championship.

"Howath is the name and these are my two knock out fists, Gerald
and Ron, and I'm here to sign up for the light heavy weight championship boxing title of Dallas County."

That was my official registration to the County boxing Commisson.
They of course ask me my age and some other questions related to
my boxing experience, to which I lied very convincingly.

By the way, the way to lie convincinly is to literally believe yourself what you are lying about. I had spent hours telling myself the lies I told the Boxing Commission, so they had no doubt about what I told them about my boxing experience. I even had some fake newspaper articles about my boxing experiences that I printed on my home printing press. I'll tell more about this later in this story.

What motivated me o do this, was the current chjampion was the
Grandson of one of my high school class mates that I detested, because h was such a proud blow hard, about every athletical thing
he did, from being a baseball pitcher, a running back football player,
a wrestler and on and on he bragged about himself. One time when
I could not somach his bragging and pompous ay he walked, I confonted him to his face, actually his chin, as that was as close to
his face I stood. He was aout 6' 4'' and I was slightly over 6'. I looked him in the eyes and told him I and every one else in school was sick
and tired of his bragging about himself.

He then sneared a me, reached down and gabbed me by the coller of my shirt, and said. "Why you little dumb pimpsqueet, you aint nothing but a hog raising farm boy!" and shoved me hard against
the hall way wall, so I smacked the back of  my head against it, and
knocked out for a few minutes, long enough for someone dumping a cup full of water on my face to bring me alert. Then ol blow hard
spread it around that I had attemped to hit him and he "just naturally" defended himself and gave me a little shove.

But back to the main part of this story, I had been working out in the city gym, workig on my cardio, thats my breathing. I had been keeping up with my physical condition all of my life, so for an 83 yr old man  I am in good physical shape. I have been punching the heavy bag on daily basis , and have had someone bouncing a heavy medicine ball on my stomach five minutes every day, so I have  those three muscle stand outs on my stomach, tht every body ooos and aaas about.

I also sparred with young boys around 20 and 30 years old, convincing them I was just 28, by my foot work and bobbing and weaving and left hand jabs. I still had a good head of hair, which I
had dyed a light black, which also convinced the boxing commission that I was 38, actually the year I was bornd, 1938

My boxing bout with the young grandson of this high school class mate that I detested, was suppoe to be just a warm up match for him, in preperation for a title fight. He was the Dallas County Light Heavy Weight champion defending his title against some unbeaten
opponant. My goal was to knock him out, and disqualify his title fight.

Oh yes, I neglected to mention my boxing manager, who was a young 62 year old retired boxer. He didn't grow up in
Dallas County, Iowa,  so he had no idea of my bckground age. He came from New York or New something.  I had him convinced that I was just 38 yrs old also. I grew up in a small town called Clive about 60 miles from Des Moines, were the fight was scheduld. Clive was a town with a population of around 2500 when I lived there. Most of the people who knew me are living under ground,
or in a old folks home, so the secret of my age will not be revealed.
,
This grandson of the school mate I detested, is just like his Dad, a smart mouth, bragging, pompous, cocky strutton show boat. He has no idea who I am, but has already started boasting about what he is going to do t me.

"Hey, I'm only 27 yrs old and this old man I'm fighting is 38 yrs old. Somebody will have to help him through the ropes to get in the ring." "What's an old man like him still thinks he is a boxer?

"He ought to be sitting on his back porch, watching the rabbits and squirrels hop around."

"He claims  to be 38 yrs old, I'll knock him out in 38 seconds in round 3."
   ,
He came to the gym when I was working out one morning to scout me out; I put on an act of being slow and winded.

He yelled at me from a few feet away, "Hey old man, my kid sister
has a faster jab then you. You sure you want to fight me?"

My manager walked up to him, and gave him a double arm shove
out the door, so hard he stumbled. "You big mouth punk, crawl
back in the skunk hole you came from."

                           The Big Fight

I was in the ring first, and was warming up wih litle dance steps I had had learned in a dance studio, which I intended to use on him, BTW  his name was Virgil Thornley, but he took pride in calling himself, "V T"=Very Tuff.

He was taking his time coming to get nto the ring,  and when he did decide to enter, he did so with a bunch of short skirted cheer leading girls dancing to loud music being played. When he approched the ring, two of the girls, squatted down on one knee and VT than made a big show of standing on each of their leg, and pushed himself off, tumbling over the ropes onto the ring apron.
amid 40,000 loud cheering fans.

"Enjoy it while you can VT, becaus in about 15 minutes, five three minute rounds, yu're gonna have 40,000 stunned fans looking at you, sprawled half way under the ring ropes, watchng the referee
waving the fight over."
                                ROUND ONE
JT came quickly to the center of the ring with a stupid looking
grin on is face, hands down, swinging back and forth at his waist level.

I took a couple steps towad him, then through him a big surprize,
that stopped him in his tracks. I did a little two step tap dance, and in the few seconds it took him to recover from surprize, I took a quick step toward him and shot out a left jab, purposly hitting
his right eye. Over my years of boxing experience, I developed a
fast twist at the end of the jab. This little twist would tear the skin
producing a cut in the eyebrow, which it did to VT. I don't think he had ever bee cut before by the way he wiped his eye, leaving his face unprotected, of which I took advantage, and smacked him with
another quick jab on his nose, drawing another spurt of blood.

VT wasn't expexcting such an early barrage of attack, and strted back peddling. Once again, I put on my little tap dance,
to a 40,00 applauding, whistling crowd of men, women and teen agers. By now ol VT had no idea what to do with me. He took a quick look over at his corner for help. And when he did I took a big step foward and planed to quick left jabs on each of his eyes.

I heard the fight annoncer telling the radio listners, he had never seen such a show boating boxer like  Howarth is putting
on. He has VT totally confused, not knowing what to do with
him. He came in to this fight as a warm up for his upcoming defensive championship fight with Scrapiron Peel and he is being bloodied and cut up, by what in the boxing sport is considered old, a man close to his 40's but is moving like a 25 or 26 year old. Folks I don't recall Howarth in any past fights, but uh, hang on a moment Howarth is moving around VT, bobbing, weaving and talking to him, I can't quite read his lips, but someting about going down in uh, some round. Meanwhile VT continues to back peddle away from Howath, who is trying to cut him off....Oh! now Howarth stops chasing him and motioned with his hands to come in and fight. There's the bell ending this third round.

There is some kind of commotion going on behind me.... some one wants to tell me something, but is being detained by the police.
Hey officers, let him talk to me. Folks, this is the crasiest night I have ever experienced, let's see what this old man, I'm serious about Old, He mst be  "Uh how old are you, sir?"

"I'm just a couple years younger than Howarth. We  grew up together in Perry, Iowa. I'm 81 years old and that old man in the ring, he was known as "Howie" is 83 years old and...."

"Hold on just jack rabbit minute! Are you telling me, that Howarth,
  what did you call him? Howie, that boxer in the ring,  beating VT, the current light weight Dallas County champion, is 83 years old? Is that what you are saying?"

"Yep, dats whot Im sayng.We growed up t'gether, in da same school t'gether, wrestled and boxed t'gether, and I'm 81 years old and he was alays 2 yars older'n me, so I knows he is 83 yars old.

Folks., getting back to the igh, VT is circuling to his right to get in position to throw is left hook and then is righ overhand knock ut puncht . I think Howie is aware of what VT is trying and keeps circing to his left.


This is the  the round Howarth bragged he would KO VT. VT is coming out in his usual swagering way, Howarth had him intimiated in the first four rounds, with his little dancing jig and blooding his nose and eye. VT wasn't use to that kind of pressure, but his corner manager and some others that joined him, gave him a little pep talk, and so he has regained his cofidence. As usual Howarth, trys his little tap dance aa he approaches VT, it's gotten a little much and no one is cheering it.

I failed to ask you, old man, your name"

"I was known as Scrapieon in Perry, my real ame isRichard Peel.
Yo said dis is da round Howie is going to lower da boom on this young feller?"

"Well that's what he told the fight reporters in the news paper. But frankly, I have doubts that he can do it. Thus far all I've seen from your friend is  a few left jabs. He hasn't used his right in the entire fight."

"Well you just keep your eyes on his right; what yor going to see is a flurry of left jabs, ad out of nowhere his right and will suddenly show up and that will be the end of the fight."

Well folks there is just three minites left i thos round, if Howie is going to KO VT, he is ging tp alf to get more agressie than, oh,Howie just connected with a double left jab, and another one and he had VT weak leggedfromma barrage of jabs. He looks like he is about to go down OH WOW Howie hit him with a straight right hand punch right between his eyes and VT is on the canvas, tryng too ge up, the count is up to 5, 6,7 VT was up at the cnt of 8 bt collapst. The referee is waving the figt over, and tne Dallas County  light heavy weight champion has been kocked out by Howie Howarth in the 5th round just as he predicted.
ROUND oxing epeiec
ketjil Sep 2019
The walls are
Closing in
The silence
Is unbearable
My breaths
Come faster
Chest heaving
Wild eyes
Unfocused
Nails
Digging into my skin
Trying
To ground me
Tunnelling vision
Scattered
Afraid
Help
Losing strength
I can’t breathe
Panic
Deafening silence
Desperately grasping
For anything
To ground me
Pain
Nails digging into skin
Teeth
Biting my lip
Grounded
Focused
Breathing

Lost

-jt

— The End —