"impervious" poems
I am warmhearted and icy cold,
with a pretty face that's getting old.
I am fragile yet tough as a man,
struggle thru life with no real plan.
I am petite and cuss like a trucker,
slightly naive, but I'm no sucker.
I am a sinner with a halo of gold,
an open book with secrets untold.
I am a hypocrite but always play fair,
a bleeding heart and I don't care.
I am a mother who acts like a child,
crazy, impatient and easily riled.
I am spontaneous and I am a bore,
forever forgiving, I still keep score.
I am unstable and wonderfully wise,
a ****** deviant in sweet disguise.
I am creative and self-destructive
naturally skilled and unproductive.
I am shy and I am outspoken
with a heart of stone, easily broken.
I am awkward and well refined,
lost, insightful and a little love-blind.
I am respected and I am addicted
shamed by burdens, self inflicted.
I am a perfectionist and I am a slob,
unbiased and shallow, an inept snob.
I am nocturnal, a creature of night,
blissfully ignorant, typically right.
I am cautious and I have no fear,
a loser and quitter, still I persevere.
I am brilliant and easily amused,
over-zealous and under-enthused.
I am impervious with wounds to heal,
an occasional liar just keepin' it real.
I am weird and lovely and mean-
I am what I am.......100 Aileen.
Mar 5, 2017
Mar 5, 2017 at 3:50 PM UTC
I was a caterpillar ,
before I became a butterfly .
The pain I had to endure in order to transform into the beauty I am today .
This is my tale .
In the forest there was,
My cocoon wrapped in the finest silk,
With a power to live in a colorful world.
To dream and conquer goals.
A Vivacious soul spinning in the purest silk
Growing and maturing as I spun.
Wishing for freedom with my beautiful wings,
Counting the days to be free and soar
as a lively butterfly
until
You winded into my community
Lured my queen and her uneven monarch.
Tempted to sabotage my purity.
For that you,
Lured yourself into my vulernable cocoon
with that trust,
you decided to disrupt my process.
How can one man ruin my nesting site?
And I had faith in you ,
to be a figure
I never had.
I wanted.
My heart ached for it.
I needed it.
To be loved .
To be nurtured.
To never be like those stray dogs
looking for a home.
This was the moment .
Where....
Innocence stripped, heart captured.
My Freedom gone.
You were naive to comprehend
On what you were doing...
You would stab my cocoon
with your sickening poison .
Over and over you stabbed .
Ruptured the veins of my innocence .
To break my finest silk .
Purity banished.
Stabbing your poison was
Making my cocoon
useless ,
worthless ,
unwanted,
colorless,
I tried to run and I tried to scream
but I was devoured by this poison
It was the love I deserve.
Couldn't escape , numb to the pain
For every poison injected, I began to
Question God?
Where was he ?
when I shed out a tear of help.
Where was he?
when my cocoon was destroyed.
Was I loved God?
when I muffled help in your name.
I hated myself ,
I stay in my cocoon
afraid to see my future.
I wasn't going to be a beautiful butterfly
Battered Butterfly
My life seemed to be colorless
No one wants a battered butterfly
My life....
It seemed it had ended
when poison sunk onto my helpless body .
No one wants a battered butterfly
Imprisoned to these chains.
Being poisoned every night by different
Predators.
Oh God....
Those predators ...
Battered lifeless little butterfly
Was I ever loved in my nesting site?
But then again nobody loves a battered butterfly
How can I reach to heaven when
I was worthless.
Believed I was a vile *****
Tricked into a poison of hell.
Battered Ugly Butterfly
***** Little butterfly*.
There was no light in tunnel
There was no holes in my silk
To escape this poisonous nest.
Why?
Because I believe nobody wants save a battered butterfly
How can the man I trusted ruined me.
I thought you could be the one to complete my lovely monarch .
To complete the missing piece.
But you continued to misuse me.
To haunt me.
To barricade my heart
To own my soul
But one thing I can truly say
You never once won over me.
You never imprinted my change.
I endured your pain
That was a sign of God
To show me what strength I am capable of.
That was the light that I found,
You had no control to inflict pain anymore.
Because I became impervious to your pain.
I am a beautiful butterfly
reigning over my monarch
with no thought of you.
That is my freedom
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 2:25 AM UTC
Softly seductive, some solvent serenity
Under unbelievable umbrella unlimited
Basking baked, both bonafide believers
Making music more meaningful, memory's made
Intellectual, introspective, incalculably impervious
So **** said sits salted, suspecting supplantation
Soon silly slips said summarize serendipitous
Indefinitely inplosive, internalized into intangible inflagrante
Viciousness voided, vague variables vital
Eroticism enduring, end erit empathy
Feb 16, 2015
Feb 16, 2015 at 9:46 AM UTC
She comes to me every night...
When all is asleep with stars lit yonder.
Comes to me with subtle might
Peeking fiendishly from darkness's cover
Await such time she'd choose to show
Await the chance to finally take.
Ready to pounce like a well tensioned bow
Arrow-like talons, ever honed to stake.
Awake or asleep, she would come without fail.
Creep is her gait; this shadow clad figure.
Always a ***** in my impervious mail.
Claiming her wants with ferocious fervour.
Deemed to be strong, easier to succumb.
Don't fight...don't struggle... Don't call for aid...
Just wait and will yourself numb
She'd come regardless of prayers that's said.
She was here with me last night
In bed, I stared at a being that's faceless...
And my heart wrenched tight.
Gripping and feeding me senseless...
Soon as she came, she left but not before
Siphoning the good and replacing with dread...
Stole was what she did; left me wanting more...
Once deed is done, into the dark she fled.
I know her all too well,
Nocturnal guest that I unknowingly invite
Her intentions to incite, not quell
Send me spiralling through emotional blight.
Day will recede, making room for dark
She'll come; swift and without sound.
She'll arrive majestic; inflicting her mark
I'll wait for her, ready and unbound.
Looking forward to her return
This silent foe whom I find familiar.
With every touch I cringe and burn
Oh secret friend whom I'm beginning to savour...
She is synonymous with various names
Each would bear the likeness of semblance
Let fly her cloak of not dissimilar aims
Endearingly I call her...,
Despondence...
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 12:23 AM UTC
Perhaps I'm encased in a box
made out of two-way glass.
A biased one-way mirror...
Mutual vision doesn't meet nor pass.
When you look at me,
you only see,
yourself for all that you care...
Me? Just a faint suggestion that I'm even there.
Maybe that's why...
you ask about my life,
about my strife.
When I'm about to unload my
head,
I end up having to hear about yours
instead.
Perhaps at times I travel around
in a bubble of frosted glass.
Only a blurred version of me...
Clumsily ploughing through the mass.
Incoherent, misunderstood and unclear.
Unintelligible muffles of hopes and fear.
Maybe that's why...
My words are just perceived as
playful rhymes.
Never keeping up with the times.
Words regurgitated but no one
realises what's coming undone...
Perhaps what I need
is an armour of bulletproof glass.
One of unique quality...
One ahead of its class.
You can do and say what you want.
A shell that would bear most of the brunt.
*I'll be impervious.
I'll be protected.
I can be indifferent.
I can be jaded.*
Maybe that's all I need...
*A shocking stunt.
A fresh perspective.
A new plan.
Revised objectives.*
Maybe a different name to start all
over...
To tie the binds and thoughts that
scatter...
Hoping of holding everything
together...
Come morning, all will be
forgotten...
Maybe I'd still be beaten.
So for a chance that's,
fat as hell
or
thin just a sliver...
Truth is of the three, I have neither...
So...
what I've said doesn't really matter.
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 18, 2014 at 1:36 PM UTC
It is only in the state of galvanization,
do I realize what it means to be impervious in youth.
I have a father who stresses to me this:
"Happiness is elusive."
This is the kind of statement that must be swished around in the mouth,
only to be spat back out.
"Happiness is elusive."
It is cause for concern,
really.
I will do my best in order to refuse to believe it,
to believe him.
Happiness is achieved through discovery.
I think that I may have once had a sister (in my recollection she was very pretty).
I was around her whenever it was deemed possible to do so -- it honestly wasn't too often that I could.
In the very nooks and crannies of my childhood,
if I could fall back unto the natural sublimity of it all;
I do recall that I had a sister.
Her features must have been youthful,
from what I remember she was no more than inexplicable.
If it were not so ambiguous,
I might feel more inclined to speak with her again some day.
The past is a scary thing.
I feel pain in thinking of the lengths behind me,
for what I have cultivated is sour.
Recently a good friend accused me of this:
"Being a recluse, spiteful, selfish person."
Her notion both confused and throttled me,
and only afterward did she speak in such a fervently aural tone:
"That is o.k., you're only human after all."
This is the very comment that sliced my being into a duality,
leaving me to write poetry in order to attempt to find higher acceptance.
Wisdom is a well, funny euphemism for delusion;
And in my youth I am impervious.
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013 at 8:26 PM UTC
I. the smell of sad
odorless colorless like ***** similar familiar sidewinder effects,
musty invasive, it has no specificity, no locale centrale, well closeted,
saddling sadding, in place, plain sighted better to toy our lives,
pervades persists, worse lingers, impervious to sprays
and even everyone’s good literature (even Will S’s),
good wishes good intentions and mood prayers
to the nearest lay god
on duty at the spiritual emergency room on weekends,
still stink
don’t think that this poem is for you; solely for the writer,
your doppelgänger ****** your mirror’s inside hiding out place,
I,
who has your sadness smell into my skin cells creepily crept
waft woof and warp wet weft-woven
into the sad receptacles hidden in my
head’s cubbies and the palms of my tree hands-covering face
there are cures so wonderful and inexpensive but unavailable
at the local Rite Aid, though they are the right aid recoverable,
so closer than close, so close that the internist
cannot prescribe them because he must inject himself first
because the live bacteria in the antidote can **** all
this odor lays down bamboo-strong roots;
to eradicate you must dig down deep,
six feet perhaps more, with heavy earth moving equipment,
uproot at the source, follow sad always all-the-way down and the root
great god gone,
but the saddest truth
stench odor yet present***
Dec 1, 2018
Dec 1, 2018 at 10:54 AM UTC
I don't ask your permission
to make a fool of myself,
tell you publicly
what my near, dear ones
have almost no clue
my mental torment,
headache-constant,
imperial and impervious
poetry, pills, therapy,
caring words
don't pay my kind of bills
a man has a job.
Feed you family.
Protect and serve.
do it well,
there is no acceptable excuse.
none.
was supposed to be easing on down,
slipping under.
come so far, my soul is old.
my tired is w/o definition.
the legs, knotted shoulders,
body aging faster than I can write.
the doctors only give me
if's and unless's,
contingencies in order
to die a little slower
warped, reversal of causality,
the older I get,
the more mouths to feed.
tough, this unexpected situation,
a nine lives time survivor,
do it again?
defraud myself,
living like I can afford
to write,
with courageous reckless abandon,
when earnest is deadly
and Lady Luck gave me the finger.
simply amazing.
eyes, constantly tearing,
nobody notices.
Do not ! Like this poem,
don't.
hate weak,
been strong so long.
this well, just got dregs left,
drudgery ain't potable, or even
worth drinking.
need nothing,
for myself, need nothing.
not one object on this planet
want to posses or be possessed by.
Monday wrestle with strife,
star in my reality show once again.
now, deny reality.
Do not!
Like this poem,
don't.
hate weak,
been strong so long.
my voice is stilled,
it's poverty exposed,
ashamed of every word I ever wrote.
hush me not, for tis true,
write on for an audience of one,
on but one subject,
a life, mine,
yet, still unmastered,
after decades of trying.
poverty exposed,
a life unmasked
for what it is worth,
or not.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 12:38 PM UTC
Your teeth gnaw on my bones
The sound of grinding is the only thing that fills my ears
But it fills them from the inside out
Like a white noise
I am disconnected
I am impervious
Yet not immune to the sun
My skin bakes and cracks
And it gets filled with oil and grease and dirt and honey
from the bees that I crushed with my feet because their wings made too much wind
and it almost blew me off my feet
but I stayed grounded
I am the bark on the oak tree that the insects burrow into
They gnaw from the inside out and they make their homes and bear their children
I’ve raised a whole family inside of me
They’ve hollowed me into an empty vessel
The kind you leave under the kitchen sink that you pour grease and fat into but when you want to use me as a vase for your roses
The soap cannot remove the oils and I slowly fill your flowers
I **** them from the inside out
That is my revenge
Mar 2, 2012
Mar 2, 2012 at 4:15 AM UTC
*A kiss from the night
Drunk from all that pain
Struggles to breath
Can't remember her name
Lost his eyes
Love made him blind
Hate made him see
Scars remind
A story that'll fade away
Pages eaten by time
Memories don't go away
Weather is not kind
Storms bash the home
Walls ripped of from the bones
All his secrets in the open
Strangers are gone
Who will love him now
Caress and hold him now
Wipe away all the blood stained tears
Who will bring him down
From the skies he wanders at nights
Searching for a lost cause
A moon that glows in anger
A sun that's faux
A wolf howls at a distance
A dog barks nearby
Night shows resistance
Ghosts never pass-by
A bleak view from a window
And a madness from outside
A letter of hatred
Enough to hurt his pride
He cannot see but whisper
There's a tale hidden in the stones
He warns once again
About the rage hidden in his bones
No one listens
World won't skip a beat
It Dosent matter
Even if with blood he repeats
They'll only see red
Not what's in his head
They look right through him
Like staring at something dead
He's afraid of the demons
That guide him to scars
Gently takes his hand
Makes him draw on his arms
Death , he mused
Life had refused
Where to walk now
He is so confused
And lies that destroyed lust
Ashened black lies in dirt
Forgiven but not forgotten
In dark prisons they lurk
Prisoners of darkness
They weep solitude
Embracing their fate
Another sunrise they refute
And to feed them love
A mistake of the holy
Wise seeks hurt
Impervious of the story
But a mother does worry
If her child lives or not
Thirteen cents
For which he was bought
She loved him and fed him hate
Watched silently and smiled
While he ate
His mouth blood stained
From the flesh of the saints
Imploding the verses he preached
Every rule he ever bleached
Hands of god from heaven
All hell broke loose when they reached
And strangled his very neck
Coldness in his eyes
Staring at the mirrors that don't reflect*
Jan 12, 2014
Jan 12, 2014 at 1:08 PM UTC
If I knew you were a super-villain i wouldn't have cared.
I would have a rationale. A flower behind my back to tempt you from your weakness for black licorice
and white lies. I would find an excuse to love you.
If I had known you were a super-villain
I would have spiked your drink with Love Potion No.9
and finding you impervious; consider my options
and hope for the best.
IF i had known this would never work out, you and me, you being a total ***** me being a fool;
i would have stayed the course and seduced you to make you mine
my very own special pain in the *** that has bewitched me....
I would have thrown myself under the bus; sipping a dry martini with a rye smile
i would have succumbed to what i knew you could be; if only...
I'd let us happen
anyway.
Oct 25, 2012
Oct 25, 2012 at 11:58 AM UTC
Who else in this inhumane edifice
can dance while the suspecting eyes stare
at his moistened armpit?
Pathetically unknowing music uplifts not just the soul but the intellect.
Who else got the fire in imparting?
or …
did theirs even start a single spark since then?
Who else brings out the best in these hopefuls?
It’s all the worse and worst that they see.
And you think San Pedro would be pleased
when you gloat you made all the priests, doctors, and engineers?
Woe to you who humiliate the chair by your indolent butts
while uttering kindergartenous blabbers you claim to be education!
Then you get all you want while tabula rasa remains tabula rasa.
And you
You seated on the higher chairs!
Why don’t you trample down awhile
and put your cataracting sight to use
before it even brings you to the death of light.
Has anyone of you even heard what your god told to Pontius Pilate?
Ha! The you-have-no-power-over-me’s have always been impervious to you bigots!
And you say to your kin let me handle it.
When it is delayed and their impatience grows
you see they’ll leave.
Did you ever fret about deadlines
of bills, of matriculas, of debts?
What do you feed to your clan? Feeds?
Get Ripley’s here!
Oh how divine to utter all the Fs!
©Glenn L. Sentes
February 20, 2013
Feb 20, 2013
Feb 20, 2013 at 5:41 AM UTC
.
Cloak of invisibility...
*Render me unseen.
As I tremble with the fury of
a thousand downfalls
and untimely disappointments.
Let the complacent eye
merely skim the surface of my masquerade...
Without learning of what seethes underneath.*
Cloak of invincibility...
*Render me impervious...
To the callous digits that know only to point.
To the disastrous effect of heated words.
To the unforgiving nature of
my wayward thoughts and emotions.
Grant me strength and resilience
through hardened skin that promises not,
of betrayal.*
Cloak of infallibility...
*Render me trustworthy and honest.
So that I can rest with the knowledge
that what I feel is true...
What I feel is me.
That this isn't the result of the faint murmur
of errant gossip...
But instead the genuine exchanges
between the heart and mind.*
Cloak of myth...
*Render me a believer.
Aid me in finding my footing
in the blasted dark.
For...
I have been siphoned dry,
during these unsure times
that have drawn much...
Too much.*
.
Jun 27, 2016
Jun 27, 2016 at 6:30 PM UTC
Sometimes I think myself clever,
a genius in horticulture,
harvesting perpetual fleeting moments.
A muted gardener.
Watering without promise or
sentiment.
When the air grows stale
I can disappear
(I always have),
like so many ghosts
or smoke
A nomadic farmer.
But today
I want to be
old and knotted roots.
stationary and permanent,
nourishing and timeless,
impervious to elements
so that she
might flourish.
I want to lean hard into the wind,
sway with it and
bend
while holding my
only purchase.
And when she opens up
it will be enough
and maybe for the first time
neither of us
will be
murderers of perennials.
Nov 25, 2011
Nov 25, 2011 at 10:13 AM UTC
The Stripper
When time is of the essence,
I await your overdue presence.
When you're not here, I'm so alone,
***** how could you lose your phone.
I hate not knowing where you are,
tonight I'm gonna make your ***** purr.
You borrow my car and I get scared,
I've already had it twice repaired.
Your beauty is unmatched,
no other couple is more attached.
When you moved in, I was nervous,
to any kind of pain, we are impervious.
All massages have a happy ending,
on Twitter, our love is now trending.
You love to cook, I love to clean,
I'm always nice, you're always mean.
You were a stripper when we first met,
I was very rich and you were in debt.
I bailed you out from your jam,
now I'm in trouble with Uncle Sam.
We are broke, but we have each other,
soon we'll be out from this cloud cover.
Maybe it's time to go back stripping,
even though my eyes will be dripping.
For a second job, I'll sell drugs,
I know plenty of **** and thugs.
Now our life is back on track,
we will always have each others back.
Now you got a new phone and a car,
then you ran off with an upcoming rock star.
That's the story of my life,
so I stabbed that ***** with my knife.
Dec 10, 2013
Dec 10, 2013 at 9:33 PM UTC
Before you check your phone
Before you wash your face
Before you eat your breakfast
Before you resume your sleep
Draw open the curtains
Embrace each light ray and
Run your fingers through the sea
Leaking through your windows
Stretch open your arms
Feel each light ray and
Watch it glow as it hits you
Drenching you with white
Breathe in, breathe out well--
Hoping to inhale one light ray and
Engulf your blood with it
Running through your veins.
When that is done, you are complete.
You are brand new, fearless, impervious.
For twenty-four hours, when you are cut
You will not bleed--
You will shine.
Dec 26, 2014
Dec 26, 2014 at 8:08 AM UTC
People will often say
That those who have trouble
Letting others in
Are "guarded".
And maybe that's true
In most cases.
They wear an emotional
Suit of armor
And build imaginary walls
Around their hearts.
I also have trouble
Letting people get close.
But I would not,
In any circumstances,
Say that I am "guarded".
To call someone "guarded"
Insists that they are protected,
Safe from harm.
That's where the word loses its
Relevance to me.
I am not protected.
Not in the slightest.
I wear no suit of armor
And have no walls
Around my heart.
I'm as vulnerable as a baby deer
Who's lost it's mother
And broke it's leg.
I am susceptible
To any and all types of injury.
I am not safe from harm
Or impervious to heartbreak.
In fact,
I'm fragile.
My heart is brittle
And will break as easily as glass.
I have trouble letting people in,
But I am by no means "guarded".
I have trouble letting people in
Because I am extremely unguarded.
I am not protected or safe,
But I am evasive.
Which is probably
The smartest thing to be,
For people like me.
I run from danger
And emotional intimacy
Because I know
I'm too frail
To handle being mistreated
Or left alone.
After letting myself fall
Over and over again,
I've learned that love
Is not worth the pain
It inevitably causes.
I am done risking
My delicate soul
To feel close to someone.
At least for now,
I don't want to love
Or be loved by anyone.
For now,
I'm still recovering.
I'm still learning how to live
With myself and without the
Infatuation of someone
Who will most likely end up
Being nothing but a memory.
I won't correct you
If you call me "guarded".
But those who do not wish
To be emotionally close
Are not always so hardened.
Sometimes they're soft
And scared of the world around them.
Jun 10, 2016
Jun 10, 2016 at 11:27 PM UTC
The cornstalks vanished overnight
Shaven fields once flowing, green and gold
Like Dad’s evening whisker stubble
Ghost limbs of the cornfield
Flocks of nomadic Ravens
Feast on the invisible
And scowl with those empty black eyes
Impervious to man’s judgment
And I think,
There is nothing as beautiful
Than the first snow on a barren field
Shadows playing with the evening light
And dance among the vacant mounds
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014 at 6:33 AM UTC
allow me to breathe in your presence
to take in your glory and intellect
to swallow whole your allure and charm
in this i'll take with me a little piece of you
and my sinful lust will be satisfied
so i can go a few more hours before i need my self-defeating fix
i smoke three packs a day of just your eyes
and drink a case solely of your taste
your name trickles off my desperate tongue ad nauseam in its crave for your warm broth of love
and my heart pumps to the beats of the angelic song that echoes with your glow
the streams and rivers of my blood flood collectively into the delta of my mind
that can only make out thoughts of where you are when you're not here
as they tell my legs to walk and walk until my feet bruise and blister to wherever that may be
because that is the place i feel impervious to death and despair
the place where the once hollow well that is my soul fills with your crystal clear drips of freedom
the place where i feel immortal
and i count the seconds as they pass
to know that paradise is real
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 2:57 PM UTC
Grim monarch! see, depriv’d of vital breath,
A young physician in the dust of death:
Dost thou go on incessant to destroy,
Our griefs to double, and lay waste our joy?
Enough thou never yet wast known to say,
Though millions die, the vassals of thy sway:
Nor youth, nor science, not the ties of love,
Nor ought on earth thy flinty heart can move.
The friend, the spouse from his dire dart to save,
In vain we ask the sovereign of the grave.
Fair mourner, there see thy lov’d Leonard laid,
And o’er him spread the deep impervious shade.
Clos’d are his eyes, and heavy fetters keep
His senses bound in never-waking sleep,
Till time shall cease, till many a starry world
Shall fall from heav’n, in dire confusion hurl’d
Till nature in her final wreck shall lie,
And her last groan shall rend the azure sky:
Not, not till then his active soul shall claim
His body, a divine immortal frame.
But see the softly-stealing tears apace
Pursue each other down the mourner’s face;
But cease thy tears, bid ev’ry sigh depart,
And cast the load of anguish from thine heart:
From the cold shell of his great soul arise,
And look beyond, thou native of the skies;
There fix thy view, where fleeter than the wind
Thy Leonard mounts, and leaves the earth behind.
Thyself prepare to pass the vale of night
To join for ever on the hills of light:
To thine embrace this joyful spirit moves
To thee, the partner of his earthly loves;
He welcomes thee to pleasures more refin’d,
And better suited to th’ immortal mind.
2.2k
What once was stoic
and only showed strength,
now slowly sinks and melts...
Like a castle of sand
on the shore,
fending off the teases
from the playful waves
of the rising tide - but failed.
What once was rock...
Now submits to forces
that meant to erode and break.
Pounding, battering and
eating into the outer carapace
I’ve prided for years.
What once was armour
I thought impervious
and would deflect,
now threatens to collapse into itself.
Like a weak submersible
made for the shallows
yet dove too deep,
anticipating the impending crush
at the end.
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 3, 2018 at 9:49 AM UTC
Our Love together's awesome in its power,
All obstacles must bend before it's might.
Our peaceful joy fills our hearts hour by hour,
And solves all our misgivings ere they strike.
My Love for you's reflected back to me,
Your mirror shines heart's brightness to my eyes.
We gaze and feed each other's deepest need,
Falling in Love more deeply every time.
So let the world assault us with its worst,
Our partnerships impervious to strife.
Together we surrender all that hurts,
And in return we radiate Love's light.
So come with me my darling butterfly,
Let both of us serenely flutter by.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 3:03 PM UTC
I tossed and turned my options in the palm of my hand,
already knowing the answer I wanted before fate had
chosen for me.
I over analyzed every word and every gesture like a
crazed 13 year old girl. I couldn't help but get worked
up over you.
It's been awhile since I was ready to open my heart
again. I am still so afraid of heartbreak because the
pieces are still lying on the floor from six months ago.
I've never had to endure rejection before and maybe
it's about **** time I wake up and realize that it will
happen to me eventually, I am not impervious to love's
bittersweet rejection although I'd like to believe I am.
All the times we've had have been reeling in my mind,
my dreams, my every thought, like a motion picture
film. moments we shared that I've never thought twice
about until now.
Times like the night I sat in your bed and told you all
my greatest fears and secrets. You said, "I just don't want
him to hurt you." You gave me a crying shoulder and let
me fall asleep feeling safe.
Times like when we used to joke about getting married
and we would laugh because we were best friends but
deep down I hoped that someday you might be serious.
Sophomore year you found her and I already had him
but inside I was jealous. I buried my jealousy and let it
go.
Times like the past three weeks... I had laid my head on your
pillow just like all the nights before but this time you said, "Is
it weird if I want to kiss you?" We kissed... A lot.
Times like the past three weeks... you kissed me in front of all
our friends, or when we were in your car singing some boy band
song and you kissed me at the stop sign, we kissed all night.
Times like two days ago... I gave it all up, I gave myself to you.
You said I was beautiful, you were drunk and you also said you loved
my ****
Times like last night... you treated me like I was your worst enemy.
You flaunted her around me, you held her perfect body just
like you had held mine the night before. She left, I was hurt, you
were drunk again. I tried to help you and you told me to get
the **** out. That was the coldest goodbye as you slammed
the door in my face.
Times like these past three weeks... I've been sitting here,
troubled by your actions. Dreaming about you, terrified
of losing you. I haven't heard a word from you since I came
home to a different reality two hours away but it feels like
decades.
Tonight, I tossed and turned the options in the palm of my
hand. Should I go for it? Or should I just let it go? Sunday,
I'll be trembling, heart pounding when I see your face. I
chose what I had hoped fate would tell me to do. Sunday
I may face rejection but at least I tried.
Oct 10, 2013
Oct 10, 2013 at 3:47 PM UTC