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Thewallflowerguy Jul 2020
Legs feel weaker
Eyes want to stay shut
It's like my body doesn't want to move anymore
Stop seeing anything but darkness
All my hurt and pain visibly coming out of me
One puke and tear drop at a time
My heart beats faster and faster as if wanting to complete all the beats it has remaining in this instant
I imagine this is what a robot experiencing a malfunction feels like
But then again, a robot can't feel anything
What I would give to be able to not feel anything right now
Or just be able to swtich off with the hit of a button
This is what I felt like after being rejected. Maybe others went through a similar experience. Or maybe this rejection hit way harder than most because it was a best friend.
Nylee Jul 2020
i expect today a sad day
a silent day
a tiring day of waiting
it is calm
with its restless way
the unknown
creeping up on my face

the first half, left up
the next right, the second call
a building floor
every home in discord
a frozen time
clock moving its hand hour
the patience
is just a thread long

the work is third cup done
the coffee cold
a look into cynic's mind
it is hopeless pit
wonder when star's align
and time be right
it has turned out plain and trite

a bare notepad,
my current head space
working for what
the life is continuously stale
it is mundane
at boredom's highest scale
i should shut down.
Empire May 2020
I can feel suicide in me
In the heaviness of my limbs
The numbness of my heart
The slowness of my movements
The emptiness encompassing me
Of course I won’t
But I find it disappointing
Samantha Renee Jan 2020
why am i so cold
i'm making my brain
Her crisp vocals paint paths, long poised by me.

Her beauty is a reality where my ecosystem drives.

Her omnidirectional audio reads every touch and feels every string.

Her heart-bytes pump voltage in my device(veins).

Her smartness is a safe place, where I shut down.

© Feelings Coated
Heart Byte=Heart Beat

From the book Feelings Coated
Louisa Coller Jan 2019
Your structure was tall like a tree in the night,
yet they shot you down faster than lightning.
I felt myself falling in this deep endless abyss,
while they stand tall above us in this empty place.
Nothing is clear to us.

One by one each payment is erased,
one by one each month is replaced.
the more we look, the more it hurts us,
as we sit here in a confused daydream.

Vulnerable people grasping onto what they can,
it sounds dramatic only when you feel safe.
They say their words represent our feelings,
yet every person I know never felt the same.
I never knew how to feel like them.

One by one each payment is erased,
one by one each month is replaced.
the more we look, the more it hurts us,
as we sit here in a confused daydream.

For you grew in a shell of a place,
I never knew from my experiences.
But, for the place I did know for years,
I feel the colours fade away.
Every hue, every shade.

One by one, each person begins to walk away,
one by one, they make out it’s our fault again.
Yet, instead of fixing what is broken in masses,
we find new ways to paint over it again and again.

For I wonder what becomes of us?
If I’m not enough, will we be enough?
Even then, will they come knocking,
for us to pay their debts?
My pockets are empty.
This poem was written to be sent to Hungry Hill Writing for their 'Poets meet Politics' competition; I have wrote three poems for this competition; The first poem I entered, this is to highlight that it isn't just the United Kingdom being in a Political disaster... America, or the USA, itself, isn't doing much better. Government Shutdown, the workers not getting their pay. It's just a disaster everywhere isn't it?

This is meant to be the worries conveyed from an American and English person in love.
Nicx Jan 2019
I love you
And even though I dont always feel things
I know its true
Because there's more to the experience
Than perceived emotions alone
I may not feel the surging rush of excitement
But when I see you're in pain
I want to do what I can to make it better
I may not be present many moments
But looking at pictures of you
Helps calm me down when I'm angry
I may not always reciprocate missing you
But if you need me
I am always here for you
I may have a hard time visualizing a future
But when I think about Colorado
You're there next to me
I may not always be sensitive to your feelings
But I'm really trying
To learn and give you real empathy
Because you deserve that positivity
I may try to push you away
But when I hear For Island Fires and Family
I cry as I picture you and I
Slow dancing under starlight
Because while I don't always feel things
I know how I feel for you
I want our forever
No matter how hard it is
No matter what work it takes
I know life is hard for us both right now
But I also know we are strong
And we are both growing as people
So while it may take some tsime
And it will be hard
You are worth it
We are worth it
I love you Leo
Nicx Jan 2019
An electrical fence
Lines the inside of my body
Within it I can feel
The semblance of emotions
As they throw themselves
Furiously against the wires
Electric tremors flare through my limbs
Waves of whispered feelings
Tear through my muscles
Begging and screaming for me
To let them live and breathe freely
But my mind tells me not to
It says I can't trust my feelings
And if I am not my emotions
Then I can still trust myself
I'm told that feeling is dangerous
That it hurts other people more
Than not feeling hurts me
And how can I argue with that?
But the feelings keep screaming
They keep scratching at the floor and
Infuriating their essence with electricity
Please just let me be
Please just set me free
I'm suffocating under the pressure
Ripping apart from this tug of war
My brain promises that I'm fine
My feelings say that's a lie
All I know is that I'm tired
I just want a break
I can't fight like this forever
And it's not just me
While I'm exhausted and in pain
Those around me don't see
They think this is just me
But I can't connect to them
With my emotions behind bars
Theres no room for empathy
No room for intimacy
I am alone
Yet I can't feel lonely
What a well-oiled machine
This human without feelings
Due to trauma, I have developed a coping mechanism to shut down my emotions. This is not longer helpful and it hurts me. I'm learning to break it down and let myself feel, but it takes time and until then this is how it feels.
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