I remember sitting on the floor,
Arms wrapped around me. Bawling my eyes out Wondering why I'm crying, Thinking what's wrong with me? This isn't reality. Now I look back and realize, It was real. It was abuse. Nothing was wrong with me, Except for being used. A telltale sign, I now see. The problem wasn't even me. Angry with what has happened But elated because... Now I'm free, Effortlessly, Drifting on a breeze, Of such sweet release. I have to say God bless me And everything that tried to break me That in itself amazes me 💙 Written, by me... Rebecca
My hand was open
But you, You chose her Closed fist and everything.
Which church corner should I go to
which is safe with green lights? It seems every one has glue and goo rays of sun and dark of night. Being a follower - not my big skill not comfy on the disciple ship but I’m hungry and want my fill trying to get God in my grip. But I keep finding him all over the place can’t capture and save him just for me see him in a cat’s and a child’s face he won’t be my prisoner. He is free like his forgiveness and open heart. So this ship is one I might board the ship of joy about to depart the cost of this trip I can afford.
I write this in response to something I read in Dietrich Bonhoffer’s book, The Cost of Discipleship.
I held your hand as you disentangled from her
you did not move closer to me I assuaged your worst fears you fueled mine I was fully present and attentive you took calls that came in . . . and didn’t call back I asked questions you answered different ones I made you a playlist you never acknowledged I made plans and reservations you did not show I gave you the benefit of every doubt you did not reassure me I made myself vulnerable you remained ensconced I created space in my life you did not explore I dared to dream about us you dreamed about . . . I don’t know I gave you my body you reached for your phone I gave you my heart you did not reciprocate I get it now you are just not that into me Only wish I knew sooner. Goodbye.
What if your walls let someone in
Instead of keeping them out.
The defense of age. Our hearts become small. We’re loathe to engage. We put up a wall. Impervious. In an armored suit. Seeking protection. To be resolute. Avoid connection. Impervious. To one more heartbreak. We like to think so. But that’s our mistake. Our hurt makes us grow. Impervious. I have tried to be. It was just pretense. For your love found me. It pierced my defense. Impervious. Was never a thing. I was closed off to Almost everything— Everything but you.
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Let my arms be
the place you feel more than safe but also, strong. Don’t be afraid though, to shed any tears and show discomfort. With me, you need never to be ashamed of being human. Unlock the door to my heart, come inside; what we will become, it will be so sweet; oh darling, let me be your home.
Feelings has so much emotional
So much feelings to hold Which feelings are the best How could I let go My heart gave so many feelings But not so much my soul I love you with so much feelings Why can't I let go My first feelings was with you The best feelings in the whole world This feelings I've never felt before Is what I appreciate the most I still have this feeling Even though your gone This feelings will never go Even though we're apart This feelings is love Love from above To my heart to the universe to the star This feelings I've ever loved by far It's time to let go our love So we can both move on You said you wanted space So here you go, goodbye my love
In waiting Through blue Wide open Heart sky As you are Expansively Intimately Always Loved Grounded free
love, fly on wings to my kindred soul... away, but not apart, from me