Your kind is ancient, your skill is an art
The belief of your existence
Is of which most have part
At the sight of dust, there's a smile on your face
For the darkness brings the urge for a particular taste
You lurk in the shadows,
Awaiting your next victim
This exotic taste is the fuel found within

You sit at his right hand
An feet or two, maybe three, no further
For he is ruler, king and also your father
His voice echoes through the walls of the covernant
With only a glance, he killed dozens of tyrant

The days are so beautiful,
Yet you are in dispare
For where the sun shines
You can never go near
A creature of perfection in every single way
Yet your beauty shines its radiance most at night than day
With skin so soft, the rays of light burns
And as is tradation,
To dust you'll turn




          

             *La Vida Love

Imi soptesti vorbe dulci, in timp ce-ti ascuti spinii,
Ca prin vraja ma atragi printre portile gradinii.
Si se-nchid in urma mea cu un scartait incet,
Soarele dispare-n zare lasand cerul violet.

Eu te caut fermcat printre atat de multe flori
Ce ma incanta si m-atrag cu ale lor calde culori,
Frunzele fosnesc in juru-mi, in explozii de ecou
Tu incet prepari veninul in amurgul indigou.

Si pasesc increzator, nestiind ca o sa m-ataci
Fiindca asupra ta vegheaza o armata de copaci,
Si ma zgarie si-mi par un sinistru labirint
Luna imi ghideaza calea cu a ei raza de argint.

Stralucesti printre frunze atragandu-mi privirea,
Caci mirosul tau ma cheama si-mi ineaca gandirea,
Inima-mi tresare tare fiindca tu-mi promiti saruturi
Inauntru o simt *** bate simultan cu mii de fluturi.

Si imi canti incet un cantec intr-o liniste de gheata,
Insusi labirintul verde se trezeste usor la viata.
E o lume de poveste, totu-mi pare ca-i un vis
Tu sirena din adancuri, ma atragi inspre abis.

Simt liane *** se aproapie, si se incolacesc pe mine
Si ma trag tot mai aproape aducandu-ma la tine.
E de ajuns sa te privesc si raman pe loc lovit
Simt doar inima *** bate, caci in rest am amortit.

Nici medusa insa-si cu ai ei ochi patrunzatori
N-ar putea sa ma inghete si sa-mi dea asa fiori.
Cu niste lanturi cuprinzi intreaga mea fiinta
Impietrit si fascinat eu privesc cu neputinta.

Ghimpii-ncep sa ma intepe  si in carne isi fac loc
Simt veninul *** patrunde si *** sangele ia foc.
Caci cu cat m-apropii tot mai mult tu ma ranesti,
Si in crunta-mi suferinta tu continui sa zambesti.

Sfaramat in mii de cioburi, ma atarn de-un fir de ata
Doar prezenta ta himera ma mai tine acum in viata.
Insa tu dai drumu lantului, si ma zgarii violent,
Din atatea rani deschise veninul se scurge lent.

Naucit ca sunt iar liber, tremurand m-am ridicat
Chiar si ghimpii tai uscati, eu incet i-am scuturat.
Doar in inima au ramas, caci mi-e frica-n lipsa lor,
Viata incet mi se va scurge printe gauri s-am sa mor.

Simt un foc adanc in suflet care arde irizat
Si cu infinita lui ardoare, ma consuma infometat,
Caci te vad acum mai clar si incep sa realizez,
Ma ranesti doar stand acolo desi eu ma-ndepartez.

Nu sunt ghimpii ascutiti ce m-au stors usor de sange
Nici veninul tau fierbinte ce din vene mi se scurge
Nu-s nici vorbele otravite ce le spui tu cu blandete,
Caci desi nu vrei s-o faci, ma ranesti prin frumusete.

In the motherland amongst the wind of the north
Under the shadow of the great fallout
Memories blow around in dispare

Ghosts of fathers past wander
Looking for lost time
And hearts that no longer feel

Never to touch or hold again
Is the price they now have to pay
Tears no longer fall anymore
As silence keeps them close

would it really be a crime,
for you and i to stand side by side?

would it truely bring dispare
for you and i to share

would it bring joy
for you and i to enjoy,

this soft embrace
just one time?

a kiss as soft as snow
a subtle touch of hands,

oh darling,

would it truely enrage the land
for us to just hold hands?

you left me.
it hurts but it’s not the worst part.
i knew you were gonna leave.
the worst part is not bringing myself to tell people
that you are gone.
i’m reminded of you everywhere.
whether it’s places we’ve gone to
or someone asking me about you.
i can’t get away.
it’s eating me alive and i don’t know how much more i can take
you are my best friend.
i told you i wanted to spend my life with you.
but you told me it wasn’t mutual.
why don’t you love me.
why am i not enough for you.
i want to tell you all this
but all i do is cry.
i beg for you to be with me
you’re the only happiness i have.
you’re like a drug and i need it.
i need you.
i’m withdrawing and i can’t bare it.
our last kiss burns in the back of my throat
i can’t see straight.
i can’t stand up.
i’m so weak.
please love me.
come back.
i beg

The underworld,
hidden from the heavens,
so deep down,
that no-one hears your screams.

Traps you from the light,
turns you into a living corpse.
Leaves you in depression,
giving you no reason for life!

The underworld,
a black pit of dispare,
taking all hopes, crushing all dreams,
leaving you with a darkened heart.

The underworld,the place where life ends,
the place I rule and where I wear the loyal reef.

Go ahead...
   taunt Me
     I no longer matter in the
        doings of Your day to day
  
Go ahead
   distance Me
     seperated by hurts
       which seep into Our tomorrow

Go ahead
   keep moving
     I can no longer catch up to
       Your love so far away

Go ahead
   painful, this place
     of isolation and dispare
       In hopes that you might care

Go ahead
    As I waited
      You chose a different way
         A path not ment for us to share
       
Go ahead
   I need to fathom
      This loneliness that
         I can no longer bear

Go ahead
   without Me
      I am no longer safe
         In the Company of Your Heart


~MoonFlower~Fluer de Luna~
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.

I swear I've seen you twice
Once was on a train
You sat next to me and asked me my name
You told a man to take his feet off the seat
You were considerate of others and very sweet
You gave me a pin in the shape of an Angel
You said it would keep me safe and that they would follow me wherever I go
You were an old woman
But you're expression was bright
Your ora gave off a luminous light
You were beautiful
You filled my heart with joy
My day had been long
And I had been coy

I saw you again on a mountain
I was night hiking alone
I had to get away
Like the last time you saw me, I'd had a bad day
I went to the mountain praying for death
I cried to the heavens with all the energy I had left
I said to God, set me free, for I have no more faith in me
I was in an open field and across the way I saw something move
It was an animal in the light of the moon
I'm not sure what animal you were
But it looked at me from a distance, that I'm sure

We glared at eachother
I looked you in your glowing eye
And for some reason I no longer wanted to cry
The hole in my heart had somehow been filled
A helper of the Lord had been revealed
I wanted to walk toward you
But I was afraid
I felt death would be a mistake I could have made
I walked the other way
That I regret
You weren't afraid of me
You didn't fret

I believe in you
I know you believe in me
You are beautiful
You brought out the beauty I now see
The world is cruel
Growing up is intense
When you saw me last I was sitting on the fence
Life or death
Hope or dispare
You rescued me
I know you were there.

Liars, liars everywhere
Liars, liars no one cares
I'm dying inside, but no one sees
Oh my goodness I just want to sleep

Tears an fears
Death and dispare
All just things to keep you here
Don't go with the flow
Dying more each day
Trying to be strong
So still you move on
Suffering this pain

If you survive no one has to know
No one had to know of your fight
But if you lose
There is no where to hide
So don't even try
Be proud of the death
That sets you free
They all will feel pain
Not seeing your misery
That is there fee

I pity you because you"ll never truly know the feelings you evoke
Searching for the perfect words and overcoming all my nerves
Finally mustered up the courage but to you I'm nothing but a joke
To you a few seconds worth of thought is all a man deserves

Invite me with your eyes until I finally make my move
Then you act surprised with your ego"s point to prove

Or else she's interested, engaged, polite, and very nice
But ladies please listen close to this next piece of advice

Instead of leading us all on and wasting both our valuable time
Would it be so hard to just say no, would that really be a crime

Tell me you have a boyfriend, I don't even care if its a lie
And give me credit for the courage that it even took to try

Take it as a complement and just for a second wear my shoes
All that we could be was dreamt and I woke up with the blues

You burned the blueprints, a beautiful skyscraper was to be built
I looked for clues and hints, now I pray you can deal with the guilt

I envy you, so lucky to be blessed with the ability to ignore
Sweep us under the filthy rug and strike us deep at our core
To be thrown into the junkyard that any man would abhor
You forgot we're also human beings, so I really must implore

Give us a fake number at least it will make us laugh
At least our glass will still be close to holding half

I understand your point of view, I know it must be hard
So many offers every day, always keeping up your guard
Deciding which ones to let in and which ones to discard
All while trying your best to not get emotionally scarred

But believe it or not we have feelings too and hope is like a drug
So stop our digging right away before we have our own grave dug

So I'll say a prayer for you if you truly lack the empathy to really care
Seconds of unnecessary negligence multiply into years of utter dispare
Quite an extensive list of backups just in case your heart begins to tear
The next life we'll all be roadrunners and you a coyote, karma's only fair

I bought my happiness at the dollar store; ninety nine cents, plus tax.
I threw the wrapping in the trash inside,
Before I'd even left the store.
I wore it then, the whole way home,
to dinner and to bed.
I even wore it in my dream,
The best sleep I'd ever had.

When I woke in the morning, with great dispare, my happiness was gone.
So here I stand in line again,
With ninety nine cents in hand.

Whenever I See You,
I Always Ask What's Wrong,
You Say I Don't Have A Clue,
I Know You're Strong,
But I'm Afraid I'll Lose You,
Of That One Dark Temptation,
I've Stopped You Before,
But How Long Will It Be,
Before You Do It Once More?

You Asked Me,
If I Runaway Would You Come With
I Know How Badly You Wish To Be Free,
But I Said Yes Pretending It Was A Myth,
I Wish I Could Save You,
From The Depths Of Dispare,
If I Did,
What Else Would Be Lurking There?
You Told Me Half The Story,
But What Does That Do?
You Told Me,
If I Told You, You Might Want To Help
The Only One Who Can Help,
Is Yourself

Silently crying while waiting on dying
My life as a zombie with grey all that i see
A lifeless corpse filled with remorse
A heart made of stone, feeling unknown

Endless life going on without living
No purpose or meaning ever been given
Feeling no peace whether dead or living
A graveyard would serve as a home

Tired, so tired yet never inspired
But pain, feeling better than joy
Has taken my company, residing within me
It also can't go on alone.

A lifetime passes. A year, or a day
By this time I can no longer tell
But i see a small spark, a faint glow in the dark
And i feel such a warmth on my skin

Though first out of fear, my distance i keep
Not wishing to widen the gap
I soon find myself in the same company
And at last my Light I have met

The closer I get to this Brilliant Flame
The lesser and greater my mind numbing pain
It seems all the time I spent in the dark
Had frozen my small rocky heart

I soon felt an ache so terrible and great
In the place I kept calm reserve
And naught but in fright of that Blinding Hot Light
I attacked that for which I had yearned

To my great dispare and no great delight
My anguish had now been passed on to my Light
I have learned through my fight
I must cherish my Light

I now spend my days while at work or at play
Remembering, dreaming of that special day
When my Light pleged to me, her life away
And I cherish each moment I have

Black pain,
Corrupting me,
Killing me,
Sends,
Me falling down.
The Well
Leading to the greatest of dispare.

STOP

The switch has been flipped.
Sky rocketing, floating high
Happy as can be
Strong
Confident
Successful
Achieving
Loving life

STOP

Then it all comes crashing down.
Jumping from the black to the white
The dark to the light
Wishing I could steady out
Not knowing how long
Either will ever last

When you feel empty it gets harder to write
Or to find motivation in the broad light
You just sit there breathing in air
Rocking back and forth in my hammock thinking about pleasure and dispare
Papers are due but I don't seem to panic
Knowing if I don't do them my grades will sink like the Titanic
I want my feelings to come back because I feel empty inside
At least there's no pain withering in side
For once this emptiness has put up a stride by demolishing the thoughts of suicide that were slowly trying to take over inside

The greatest pleasures in life are simple

The things you search for and never find

Happiness is my only goal

Moving through life unknowing of what the future may hold

The never ending journey through life is  amazing

Even without you by my side

I will conquer my faults nd become a lively soul once again

To walk down the unbeaten path

Ill make my own way with out help from a soul

I have turn from my evil ways and walk in to the light becoming new once agian

Excited for my future

My life was a tragedy day after day page after page

But the rest of my pages are blank so lets turn it in to a comedy

Sealing chapters one through eighteen in my past

Live everyday for today and maybe alittle for tomorrow

Roll with what comes my way

Blind and bind myself from evil

Help every soul possible

Make something of myself

The new me will never be forgotten

The old me is locked away never to return

Good will always prevail

In every-ones heart they know this

Is the world ready for this are they ready for the revolution of me

I want to help everyone know what i know just be happy never turn back to dispare, heartache and misery

Never give in to the evil within

With eyes wide shut, my mind paints a vivid picture of the girl I love.
Everything from her frizzy hair, to her weird thumbs, and her amazing mind.
Her laugh makes me weak.
The energy in her spirit causes me to question everything
I ever denied of angels and God.
For if He exist, she is His prized possession.
Your wild antics keep me on my toes.
Your seducing smile sends chills down my spine, cooling the passion burning feverishly in my soul..
But this is a dellusion of the conscience.
When I flip my eyelids you are there,
but not subjected to my love.
You are free of the burdens I place on my chest.
You are only my best friend and I fear that's all you will ever be.
You are my angel that will shine a righteous light and awaken my cold vessel to traquil affection.
Haha, I can only dream..
I stopped believing in fairy tales long ago,
but I will never stop believing in you,
I will never stop listening to you,
I will never stop trusting you,
I will never stop being the rock
you need when the earth beneath you becomes quicksand.
When the world tries to drown you in dispare I will be there to give you life.
I will care for you, feel what you feel because we are one.
You are my better half and
I can't  survive withut you.
I wish I could tell you how I feel.
To tell you I love you more
than life itself and I will profess that everywhere anywhere no matter what.
I am proud an grateful for you and all that you have taught me.
Thank you for being my outlet from the hell I suffered through and in
return I was there for you.
I was there to wipe your tears away.
I was there when you thought of taking your life.
I was there when you wanted to go: leave America, marry in Africa, honeymoon in Paris, and grow old in India.
I have been there and I always will.
I am yours..
I wish I didn't neglect you when I did.
I wish I didn't deny my feelings for you, but I am afraid.
It scares me how serious I am about you.
I have cried and ached in your absence.
It hurts, but what's worse is that you don't know.
You may never know.
I never thought that I would be in love with my best friend.
I could only have dreamt it, but when I open my eyes, my feelings applify and I spend the rest of the day lying and repressing them until I slumber and my true reality is born, in which I am together forever with the girl of my dreams..

My internal world does not match the exterior
I open my eyes and the flourishing trees
Are bare and shivering
Your face has grown old, years of pain,
Yet I did not see it change.

Your prickly chin now rest above my head
Now hung in dispare, trying to disconnect the past;
My present

The pain you bring is the pain I create
The tides don't pull when I'm not by the sea
The rain doesn't fall when I can't feel the tears of the sky
The wind doesn't sing when I don't feel the rush
The sun doesn't shine when I'm locked in the dark

And my heart doesn't best when it does not belong to you.

The sky brightens,
Clouds disperse,
The sun shines,
Then the it stops the sun dips behind a dark cloud,
The land covered in darkness,
There is one who shines,
Standing for all to see carrying the light with them,
Casting back the shadows of dispare,
And revealing the life that can be.

All we have to do is jump.
Take a chance,
Take the leap at a better life,
Take the chance no matter the consequences.

There is always a lighter brighter path you just have to take it.

She holds my heart
For reasons i don't know
But she holds my heart
Don't ask me how

I can't remember
Whether i gave it freely
Or out of dispare and anger
Maybe she persuaded kindly
Or forced my hand

Maybe i lost a bet
Then it's on me
Yet she holds my heart
And she says for keeps

I don't mind really
I wish she'd hold it forever
Cause i have hers
And that's all that matter

Your always on my mind.
It feels like your changing things from wrong to right.
I think about you day and night.
I feel you by my side.
You come to me with your arms open wide.
You've never failed me before.
Even when my knees hit the floor.
I clasp my hands to talk to you.
And close my eyes to see a knew view.
My thoughts they travel far away.
But it doesn't matter cause your hear to stay.
By my side when I sleep.
Your love for me will always be deep.
I can't think of anything except for being with you.
But my time here is not over.
I hear a voice and look over my shoulder.
I can't see you but I know your there.
Watching me while I'm in dispare.
As times get tough I here your call.
Even when I fall.
Every where I look I see a little bit of you.
The cloudy sky with specs of blue.
The green grass.
The clear glass.
The falling leaves.
The the screaming seas.
Your always on my mind.
It feels like your changing things from wrong to right.

Even though your at your end
You push through the sleepless nights

dreamless

And once again everything is blurry
And your mind is everywhere

And those sweet little tablets
Cause your dispare

Mouth turns dry
And your face becomes pale
And your eyes become dull
And your body is weak
And bruises cover your soul

Running through the crystal rain
Stunning blues in two full brains
I took an unmarked train
to watch the skyline drain away
i have to say
if yesterday
is here to stay
i'll find a way
to be ok

This time
what was in my mind
left behind to find
after my eyes
were blind from cries
lay resting in depressions
of the body I call mine
this rind too kind
to be pressing in the lesson
i keep testing this thought so fine
my shadow was fined for the sigh that tried to hide
the sad know that the lines are signs that shine
too bright to see inside
and my death that's still hiding there
beats my breath and grows my hair
til what's left is budding bare
bursts like nighttime solar flares
and I don't care about my dispare
because it's me and it's only fair
because it sees what none will dare
because the key was always there
and it's the door that's out of place
i implore that it's not a race
so please take some space
to find your face
to see your grace
in the case left unlocked
just stop

Im confused.
I can not allow myself to be happy,
To feel loved.
And when it is expressed to me,
I brush it off my shoulder.
As though it ment nothing.
And that's the problem.
It does mean something,
But im not sure what.
Maybe smiles,
Laughter,
Squinted eyes,
And rosy cheeks.
Those memories
And good feelings I give you,
You are now trying to express back to me.
But maybe you have different memories.
You do see the laughter and smiles,
But maybe a pretty girl,
With bright eyes
Appeared first.
A warm, cozy feeling wraps you,
As it did for me.
Or maybe you think nothing.
And these over analyzing of thoughts,
Leads me down a dark road.
A lonely memory,
An old way of life
Flashes back.
Dispare,
Awkwardness,
Shyness,
Agravation,
Self- loathing feelings
Raindown apon me.
So I can't think of the positve you see in me.
Even when you tell me to love you,
And show me with open arms
That it's okay,
I just can't.
I'm broken.
Maybe you can't see,
But I cannot accept-
The love that i so desperately want,
The friendship that I need to establish,
Affection,
Attention,
That I crave with every fiber of my being.
But I can't show it.
So I've built an invisible bulletproof wall.
You, my friend may not see it,
But I can tell you sense it's presence.
And that fact alone,
Kills me.
I so desparatley want to tear it down,
Too feel your warm presence,
But it's for your own good,
        my own good.
Because if I show my friendship,
And express my love,
And give you everything I've been holding back
For so long,
...
It's simply too much.
Im too much for you to bare.
       For anyone to bare.
So I'd rather go completely numb to the world,
Than loose sight of you.
And that is already in progress.
I know I'm just another,
But I'm different.
And thar's why I'm confused.
I train myself to think like everyone else,
But I have a different perspective.
So I keep my distance,
Which slowly breaks our bond,
Along with my weary heart.
But it 's for the best.
I'd rather be eased off into loneliness,
than having the whole world one day,
And loosing it the next.
Because that has happened.
And I can not go on if history repeat itself.
So here I sit.
In the corner,
Watching everyone dance to the music.
And then I think,
Maybe your confused too.

When she tells you
"your ocean is a wave
of titles trapped in pipelines"
she is steeling only truth
from the ocean floor
compassion on the surface
landing on the shore
but in the deep sea she is drowning
purpose lacking to find
surrenity
she; the pebble
looking for a rock
strong enough
to hold the tides crashing
wind bashing, and breathing the storms
along the sands lay fragile pieces of
of crystal stars
that fell down from blue landscapes
escaping from the light
landing on her palms: cringing
damp by collision
the fusion in dispare
reaching these stars back out
to touch home in the sky
after night fall
the gift of giving back
is a bright day coming
where she understands
how to swim back to self
faith to walk on water
and possibilities do exist...
here.

© S.T. Rebel of Eden

I build you a sandcastle of hopes and dreams
Surrounded by shells of love
As the summer sun warms
The very womb of promise's

A lot of care in my hands
As I strive to stop waves of dispare
Eat at the foundations of my token of love

Let you be the queen to my poor working soul
For I shall build forever more on this ground
To keep you in the castle made of sand

As of lately
I've been writing.
Scribbling words
With more than
A paper trace

As of lately
My voice is
Not loud enough
To cause an echo
In your head

Instead my words
They float into your
Left brain,
Begin to be processed
And when straight
Lines don't have a node

They are pushed
Out of your right ear
As heavy s shaped
Curves that
Anchor to the
well paved ground

That you walk on,
And that I worship
Is it that the intended
Purpose of our
Commitment has been lost?

As of lately
I lay on my back
To see the world
From a perspective
That is larger
Than my life

And when I turn
My head
In search of
The stars you
Once had in your
Eyes.

Disappointment
Frustration
Dispare
And a gut wrenching
Feeling
Overwhelm me.

I will be here, I will be here, amdist all I will be here,
For a day to a month, let the year Show the rhythm,
I will be here for you knew me,
Out of nothing to something..
Even when am judged and marked..
I will be here...


I will be here through the timeline
When voices less unknown speak for me...
I will be here when I justified silence to be my punishment for aquitance.
Where the bee and the honeycombs dispare.
I will be here when I took the will and mantle..i know who I am to no avail...
I will be here casting my lot on fair reasoning.
I let myself fall on the petals of red rose.


I will be here  because I choose to be the judge's verdict.
I will be here when Silence burried my voice casting the scorn on me.

I will be here because of you,us and them, sharing a piece of literature while I let posterity judge.

I will be here for long even time might stop for my sake.
I see myself as a valley flowing along the Bermudian..

Oh cast my stone down the mountain for then my thoughts would rest, for thy table are filled with oester and leashes to welcome me.

I have no reason to say a hearty tone, I have more reason to drown on the mountain top, for whoever judges is fair. The wisdom of Solomon and the thought of pharaohs

God bless my thoughts pure and gentle



I remain a son of today, tommorow and forever.

Road **** laying in the gutters on the side of the street. Empty feeling of dispare as he ponders on the dread of death. Second comes sadness as he stares in the rear view mirror.
He turns to look at her in her big brown eyes as he tells her that he saw.
Together they faced the **** each and every time they were on the road.
As much as he tried to protect her from this, all they could do was acknowledge it together.

I can't help but be emerged in the feelings around me
So I Sulk in the deapths of dispare 
 disengaged in the lack of communication
That my mouth trembles at the thought of you traveling near
So focused on the things that could be instead of pursuing what's already here
Lost in the thought of you alone
Wondering if I will ever meet you there

Little bricks oh how you wait
Until my feet you can steak
With sharp edges now stick in
And cause such pain I cannot grin

You build a house a rocket too
But at night there's something new
About your yellow, white, and red
Bricks that seem to get stuck in my head

Now I tread so light as not to get
Feet so full of plastic pegs
Or little arms and funny hair
Oh how I wish for no dispare

The answer surely lies within
To put you back inside the bin
Snap the lid firmly down
And walk barefoot when your not round

Why has this feeling crept in
The sounds of regret have seem to peep in
The face of doom holds the dagger and my soul is caged in
Love has left the air
And tragedy strikes in the deapths of my dispare
I can't seem to let go even when my heart begs and pleads to do so
What is this and why has it come
Is it for the demons I inspire or the people I have set on fire or for me when I set my own path on to a liars
For whatever reason I must except
I guess this is the punishment of ones true death