I am the best writer when I am at my lowest,
my body shuttering with sobs, tears streaming down my face, lips quivering
and I write
channeling the intensity
and burning rage
into ink that bleeds the words
of my soul
Death would be too sweet a release
It would stick to my teeth
It would coat my gums
My tongue would go numb
Much better the bitter
The slow sip with a kicker
A continual life
To gag on at night
My death much too easy to chew
And swallow too
The bliss I'd recieve
Makes it too hard to grieve
Life much dryer to choke
My thirst parched throat
And the spice burns my eyes
Reminds me I'm alive
This one thing i cannot know
The way you hate and love me so
Amazing creating a wonderful rage
With shallow stagnant love
This one thing I cant let go
The way you love and hate me, no
Unfortunate casualty of casual war
With none of your battles real
In the broken twilight you stare
The darkness glist'ning in your hair
The deaths of family broke you none
The deaths of friends the starting gun
The race you wear like cheap jewelry
The chase you show so fake and erie
The end in sight if turned your head
The end in hindsight now we're dead
Uncertain love is what you crave
Partial hate you need
Unconventional life like a grave
In you lie with headstone of greed
In wasted moments between
The life and death I glean
The single choice you left me
The single path you test me
The shadows curl around your feet
The light bends inward to your center
The souls of many you devour
The souls you loved lay dead this hour
Hear the wind, hear it cry,
Hear it moan, hear it sigh...
Hear the wind in side my head,
Hear it scream to wake the dead.
Let it wash over your skin
The feeling of helplessness,
Of grief, of sorrow,
Gives a certain sense of peace
Cant express the feeling riding on this,
This brush with death warms me
Consuming the pain of joy
Stand and bear this burden
The enormous task of living
Greater than one
But less than the sum of two
The calculations wont add
The chemicals wont mix
The pieces just wont fit
The puzzle of existence falls to the floor
As the boot of reality crushes it underfoot
All the while hope gently floats on the breeze
And I breathe...
Try and hold to the mighty road
When all others lose their way.
You'll soon find yourself alone,
At the end of the day.
You pace yourself, like no one else.
'Cause u know in the end,
You're the only one you'll see
Around the next bend.
Don't kid yourself, you know your not
The only one for the long haul.
Your just the only one who doesnt
Know you've lost it all.
So dont burden yourself
With memories, of long ago.
We both know you'll never again
See rain or shine or snow.
Dont stop to think or contemplate,
Who or where u are.
'Cause you dont have a reason
For coming along this far.
Or at least thats something,
You'll never know.
Till at last u finish,
Going as far as you can go.
So win the race. Striving,
At last to finish your quest.
You've already lost everything,
Dont lose what you have left.
Wrote this four years ago, the third time I dropped out of college