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"deadening" poems
Gendering Woman ******* Beautiful, anatomical part //  Ugly, anatomical part Natural, pleasurable             //   Burdensome, loathsome Female Symbolic                //    Femme Symbolic MALIGNANT                             HEALTHY fearful, tearful, wretched     //  joyful, hopeful, euphoric, bereft, wept, grieving          //  embryonic, rapt, relieving leaving, loss                         //  believing, gain m a y b e - d e a t h                                            r e - b i r t h                                                    BI-LATERAL                                              MASTECTOMIES Operating Theatre SURGEON                                         ANAESTHETIST cleaning/ cutting/ knife/ scalpel   //   doping/ unconscious/ airway blood / tissue                                 //   hypotension loss/ damage                                 //   shock drains                                             //   sinus rhythm stitches                                           //   pain deadening tight binding                                 //   reversal drugs                                      POST-OPERATIVE a l i v e                                                a w a k e draining, bound & stitched               draining, bound & stitched                                             DRAINED                                        ~ UNBOUND                                        -- UNSTITCHED – Empty chest                                                    Flat Chest FREEDOM from Disease                               FREEDOM from Dis-ease © M.L.Emmett
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May 19, 2016
May 19, 2016 at 12:28 PM UTC
Gendering Woman *******
Gendering Woman ******* Beautiful, anatomical part //  Ugly, anatomical part Natural, pleasurable             //   Burdensome, loathsome Female Symbolic                //    Femme Symbolic MALIGNANT                             HEALTHY fearful, tearful, wretched     //  joyful, hopeful, euphoric, bereft, wept, grieving          //  embryonic, rapt, relieving leaving, loss                         //  believing, gain m a y b e - d e a t h                                            r e - b i r t h                                                    BI-LATERAL                                              MASTECTOMIES Operating Theatre SURGEON                                         ANAESTHETIST cleaning/ cutting/ knife/ scalpel   //   doping/ unconscious/ airway blood / tissue                                 //   hypotension loss/ damage                                 //   shock drains                                             //   sinus rhythm stitches                                           //   pain deadening tight binding                                 //   reversal drugs                                      POST-OPERATIVE a l i v e                                                a w a k e draining, bound & stitched               draining, bound & stitched                                             DRAINED                                        ~ UNBOUND                                        -- UNSTITCHED – Empty chest                                                    Flat Chest FREEDOM from Disease                               FREEDOM from Dis-ease © M.L.Emmett
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28
In my little-boy town up north rivers were not yet plugged. Poled men came down and watched for silvered flashes. Pink would be inside and make a mouth want to melt it down. The river power we would sing Guthrie-style in grade school, how rolling power and darkness were misaligned, how wild river and light was such empty logic, and little boys learn to forget. In school, where poor men send the next young nation, a new nation conceived in hydrodamnation and simple salmon ****** Little boy rain from Rockies going near my door, and whipped whirlpools spinning funnels of quick deadening swim traps, so stay so far from bad river, doing nothing more than running off to sea. Stay near shore and enjoy the new electricity.
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Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 12:37 PM UTC
Electric Boy
a draper is someone who creates garments or patterns by draping fabric directly onto a dress form (Wikipedia) ~~~~ I am a draper, by trade, by nature, by instinct; a fling of one arm across her body, while she dreams and sleeps, rambles, mumbles, and even convulses, to hold her tight with two, with both, soon grows discomforting as the blood ceases to flow, the heat breeds unsweetened sweat, and the snuggling impact, is too fast subsumed by the pins and needles numbing, deadening, and ironical attenuation this is my pattern, how I address her, how I dress her, draping my contiguous, drawing five fingers upon her form, reshaping her in her sleep, the arm flung, there, and then there, to be hung, at varied places across her body, higher lower, above below, but her face, free and clear, so not to interfere with her sensory preceptors and as I draw my pattern upon her skin, her body whole, listening her to indeterminate utterances, to determine which pitter patter pattern to which. she feels best suited, then, I prepare my invoice for her, for services rendered, to present upon awakening, demanding in voice, by her voice, payment in words, of her own chosen amuse-bouche, mmmm, will it be? good morning my love? hello you! or just an indiscriminate but yet, a discriminating sound of having been pleasured by unknown forces in her deeper sleep, using her lips to say, to hum, to sing, a genteel unspecific but, and yet, a terrific, deep from within guttural remittance, the sound of a delicious, mmmmmming greeting a new equinoxal gale of a refreshing fresh birthing, fulsome already satisfying draping of the day
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Aug 13, 2025
Aug 13, 2025 at 5:01 PM UTC
The Draper (draw my pattern upon her skin)
a draper is someone who creates garments or patterns by draping fabric directly onto a dress form (Wikipedia) ~~~~ I am a draper, by trade, by nature, by instinct; a fling of one arm across her body, while she dreams and sleeps, rambles, mumbles, and even convulses, to hold her tight with two, with both, soon grows discomforting as the blood ceases to flow, the heat breeds unsweetened sweat, and the snuggling impact, is too fast subsumed by the pins and needles numbing, deadening, and ironical attenuation this is my pattern, how I address her, how I dress her, draping my contiguous, drawing five fingers upon her form, reshaping her in her sleep, the arm flung, there, and then there, to be hung, at varied places across her body, higher lower, above below, but her face, free and clear, so not to interfere with her sensory preceptors and as I draw my pattern upon her skin, her body whole, listening her to indeterminate utterances, to determine which pitter patter pattern to which. she feels best suited, then, I prepare my invoice for her, for services rendered, to present upon awakening, demanding in voice, by her voice, payment in words, of her own chosen amuse-bouche, mmmm, will it be? good morning my love? hello you! or just an indiscriminate but yet, a discriminating sound of having been pleasured by unknown forces in her deeper sleep, using her lips to say, to hum, to sing, a genteel unspecific but, and yet, a terrific, deep from within guttural remittance, the sound of a delicious, mmmmmming greeting a new equinoxal gale of a refreshing fresh birthing, fulsome already satisfying draping of the day
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75
Seagull on rotting planks, bouy bells ding to fog and driftwood. A culling fire exploits the docking shire. Filled with chlorine shards, legs caught in the clap-traps. Friar palms glisten, Rage responds with frisson. Clear view over water. Feel your arms relax and slip onto your back while the culling fire attacks. Bulbous deadening brain chimes As the eyes slide down to your omission crimes. Leave me alone in my despondent company. Don't push the matter further let communication fail to nurture. A warm breeze carries me like a floating portrait towards unreal scented meats. I'm here now, alone in the corner, The greatest intimacy with the static patterns on the carpeted flooring. The king of this corner is the odor of plank seating and flowery detergent in this lonely corridor fluorescent light-bulb poles and old grain floorboards. Now the returning shards of panic to uncelibate strangers drive me up, far, deep in my own ribcage to something wholly non-organic. Time to clock-in, time to check out.
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May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 1:25 AM UTC
The Church of Privacy
Heartbreak Poems Writ After Midnight Poems writ after midnight Effervesce intensity, how can it be, both an Awakening, a dreading, a deadening? Volcano in the chest, bullet in the head, Cry stifled, but heard blocks away, Almost reaching a house where you live Poems writ after midnight Presage dread of day soon to start, Come forth more effortlessly, Spill, soil, stain - simultaneous - pillow, cheek, us. Rivulets of senses aflame, Police cars and fire engines scream warning, coming, Roaring warning lights of silent pain, heard blocks away, Almost reaching a house where you live It's June and from hallways and town streets, Your shadow will disappear, graduate, not from, but to You-know-where, the place where Emo music is born and screamos die, Same **** place that Poems come from after midnight Offered emollients, creams, stupid words, Drugs, hugs, catch phrases that never soothe, irritate hurt worse, The only word in the universe of words I can't explain A four letter gift my lover 'presented' and It is pain Read somewhere some poems never end, Now I understand that better, Cause there are no bandages, stitches that can close, Cause there are no pills, switches that can shut off, The ripping sound, the cutting noise, the raging inside Heard blocks away, almost reaching a house where you live, And dying in the same **** place that Poems come from after midnight. 5:16 am forever
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Jun 6, 2013
Jun 6, 2013 at 5:17 AM UTC
When I Was Sixteen: Heartbreak Poems Writ After Midnight
I regret ever feeling at all Maybe I should just stop-- Stop trying Stop feeling Just... stop. I regret ever feeling at all Maybe I should just end it Would anyone care? Would anyone notice? Maybe I should just stop. I regret ever feeling at all Harden my walls, forget my heart Decide that nothing, no one, is worth my pall I wish I didn't have to become numb to be okay, Just to make the pain go away. I regret ever feeling at all I want to be strong But, I should've known all along: I feel too deeply to be healthy, Especially when people are involved. I regret ever feeling at all Maybe I want to die Maybe just a line at my wrist (The X-Acto knife in my drawer would do the trick) But no, perhaps not (I am not a fan of pain) Bleeding out takes far too long I don't think I could take it, anyway. I regret ever feeling at all The voices in my head say I'm worthless No wonder everyone's gone I can't attract anyone, I'm too broken The deadness in my eyes belies a dormant predator Watch out, I'm a hidden monster I may catch you in my claws before a single word has been spoken Beware the darkness of a shattered heart, It will be far too sharp. I regret ever feeling at all Maybe this is for the best Maybe I'll finally learn my lesson And never have to trust again I'm blowing this out of proportion This is so much worse in my head But you said I should spend time with myself, love, No matter how many times I wish myself dead. I regret ever feeling at all I am so far out of my depth I don't know what to do, love I wish you could see this mess from my shoes. This constant nagging ache, I wish it'd go away. I regret ever feeling at all I want to hate you, To lose the pang in my stomach when you wear bruises on your neck Your trophies are the cause of my heartbreak Why can't you just stay away? I regret ever feeling at all I wish my friends could stand being around me But maybe they sense the monster within Who hungers jealously for that which she cannot have Who lusts for the flesh of one who does not love her Who, deep down, wants to hurt everyone who wrongs her. I regret ever feeling at all This darkness is so suffocating Why did I have to, for you of all people, fall? When you cannot feel the same When all I get from you is pain I love you, I hate you, I feel all of the above. I regret ever feeling at all This horrible, deadening cold It seeps through my limbs All I want is a hand to hold, Someone to chase the demons away, Someone who can love me as much as I love you, Someone who wants to save me from myself, As much as I do you. I regret ever feeling at all Maybe if I disappeared, you'd wonder what you did wrong Maybe you'd actually call Would you feel any of my regret? Would you feel the hurt you cause? I don't know that, love, I just know I regret ever feeling at all.
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Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 10:05 PM UTC
I Regret Ever Feeling At All
I regret ever feeling at all Maybe I should just stop-- Stop trying Stop feeling Just... stop. I regret ever feeling at all Maybe I should just end it Would anyone care? Would anyone notice? Maybe I should just stop. I regret ever feeling at all Harden my walls, forget my heart Decide that nothing, no one, is worth my pall I wish I didn't have to become numb to be okay, Just to make the pain go away. I regret ever feeling at all I want to be strong But, I should've known all along: I feel too deeply to be healthy, Especially when people are involved. I regret ever feeling at all Maybe I want to die Maybe just a line at my wrist (The X-Acto knife in my drawer would do the trick) But no, perhaps not (I am not a fan of pain) Bleeding out takes far too long I don't think I could take it, anyway. I regret ever feeling at all The voices in my head say I'm worthless No wonder everyone's gone I can't attract anyone, I'm too broken The deadness in my eyes belies a dormant predator Watch out, I'm a hidden monster I may catch you in my claws before a single word has been spoken Beware the darkness of a shattered heart, It will be far too sharp. I regret ever feeling at all Maybe this is for the best Maybe I'll finally learn my lesson And never have to trust again I'm blowing this out of proportion This is so much worse in my head But you said I should spend time with myself, love, No matter how many times I wish myself dead. I regret ever feeling at all I am so far out of my depth I don't know what to do, love I wish you could see this mess from my shoes. This constant nagging ache, I wish it'd go away. I regret ever feeling at all I want to hate you, To lose the pang in my stomach when you wear bruises on your neck Your trophies are the cause of my heartbreak Why can't you just stay away? I regret ever feeling at all I wish my friends could stand being around me But maybe they sense the monster within Who hungers jealously for that which she cannot have Who lusts for the flesh of one who does not love her Who, deep down, wants to hurt everyone who wrongs her. I regret ever feeling at all This darkness is so suffocating Why did I have to, for you of all people, fall? When you cannot feel the same When all I get from you is pain I love you, I hate you, I feel all of the above. I regret ever feeling at all This horrible, deadening cold It seeps through my limbs All I want is a hand to hold, Someone to chase the demons away, Someone who can love me as much as I love you, Someone who wants to save me from myself, As much as I do you. I regret ever feeling at all Maybe if I disappeared, you'd wonder what you did wrong Maybe you'd actually call Would you feel any of my regret? Would you feel the hurt you cause? I don't know that, love, I just know I regret ever feeling at all.
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81
I don't Know if history repeats itself But I do know that you don't. I remember that city was didvided Not only between Jews and Arabs, But Between me and you, When we were there together. We made ourselves a womb of dangers We built ourselves a house of deadening wars Like men of far north Who build themselves a safe warm house of deadening ice. The city has been reunited But we haven't been there together. By now I know That History doesn't repeat itself, As I always knew that you wouldn't.
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3.1k
I Don't Know If History Repeats Itself
A huge crowd thronged the temple premises Its vicinity, already bursting in color With people in hundreds streaming in The young and the old clad in festal attire With fire in their hearts n' festive sheen in their eyes Not driven by piety, mostly to enjoy the fanfare Festoons decorated trees that lined the compound Colorful lamps blinked everywhere Sacred bells, chiming intermittent At the auspicious hour, as devotional songs rent the air The chief deity was brought out of the shrine And was placed on the caparisoned elephant Accompanied by pulsating percussion ensemble The devotees cheered witnessing the majestic entourage Within them the fervid spring of joy swelled Colorful umbrellas were unfurled Drawing synchronized patterns in the air Under the glare and noise, the heat and sweat Amid the tumultuous beat of trumpets And the rhythmic sounding of cymbals The crowd swayed in psychedelic lassitude An army of hawkers had already set up shops Each made it a time to earn some bucks Selling knickknacks and goodies to tempt children From ice creams to popcorn and colorful balloons Children ran around licking cotton candies Some enjoyed blowing up soap bubbles And iridescent orbs landing softly on their hair and dress With dusk fall, the ceremonious fire work began The crowd stood aghast at the pyrotechnic display Scintillating colors and confetti of sparks painted the sky Shooting spears rose high and fluorescent rainbow colors Came dancing down, fire wheels swiveled on the ground Deadening roar of crackers and thunderous blast of ***** Tore the sky announcing the sleepy world; ‘It was once again festival time for the people to rejoice
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Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 9:25 AM UTC
An Indian Temple Festival
A huge crowd thronged the temple premises Its vicinity, already bursting in color With people in hundreds streaming in The young and the old clad in festal attire With fire in their hearts n' festive sheen in their eyes Not driven by piety, mostly to enjoy the fanfare Festoons decorated trees that lined the compound Colorful lamps blinked everywhere Sacred bells, chiming intermittent At the auspicious hour, as devotional songs rent the air The chief deity was brought out of the shrine And was placed on the caparisoned elephant Accompanied by pulsating percussion ensemble The devotees cheered witnessing the majestic entourage Within them the fervid spring of joy swelled Colorful umbrellas were unfurled Drawing synchronized patterns in the air Under the glare and noise, the heat and sweat Amid the tumultuous beat of trumpets And the rhythmic sounding of cymbals The crowd swayed in psychedelic lassitude An army of hawkers had already set up shops Each made it a time to earn some bucks Selling knickknacks and goodies to tempt children From ice creams to popcorn and colorful balloons Children ran around licking cotton candies Some enjoyed blowing up soap bubbles And iridescent orbs landing softly on their hair and dress With dusk fall, the ceremonious fire work began The crowd stood aghast at the pyrotechnic display Scintillating colors and confetti of sparks painted the sky Shooting spears rose high and fluorescent rainbow colors Came dancing down, fire wheels swiveled on the ground Deadening roar of crackers and thunderous blast of ***** Tore the sky announcing the sleepy world; ‘It was once again festival time for the people to rejoice
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36
How to make nonsense out of bitter citrus fruits Leave them be, already a font of nonsensical egg yolks You do this for yourself, your own self, and no other self Endure another fortnight daliance, you dance forthrightly Absorb information like paranoia The facts are lying in bed with an orange banana How to make something lasting in a world cursed with impermanence It cannot be done. It simply cannot be done. The length of a breadbasket will often determine the size of the loaf The ratio of meat to potatoes makes nonsensical lemonade The worst kind...worse than the worst This document is not intended for distribution during the lifetime of the author Only with his passing disseminate expecting sympathy for the old poet's story, how rarely it truly changes The ingredients for the above mentioned nonsense have been properly proportortioned and mixed per instruction Take a wiff, you can smell the sweet aroma of their baking vapor As a child I ate spoonfuls of baking powder The aroma certainly saturates the proceedings Almost intoxicating how it smacks your heart with nostalgia The stupid cartoons, the National Lampoon stolen from the convenience store you hung out in Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in That, my friend, is the beginning from the end That, my foe, is the bleedin' end of the road I'm in Ian Curtis' voice, deadening repetion Day in Day out, Day in Day out, Day in Day out, Day in Day out, Day in Day out Ding, Ding, the timer in the kitchen chimes it's melancholy ring The nonsense is at this present moment complete Ready to serve, ready to eat and please don't choke on my words, I'm half asleep
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Aug 16, 2018
Aug 16, 2018 at 10:36 PM UTC
Your Promised Serving of Nonsense
How to make nonsense out of bitter citrus fruits Leave them be, already a font of nonsensical egg yolks You do this for yourself, your own self, and no other self Endure another fortnight daliance, you dance forthrightly Absorb information like paranoia The facts are lying in bed with an orange banana How to make something lasting in a world cursed with impermanence It cannot be done. It simply cannot be done. The length of a breadbasket will often determine the size of the loaf The ratio of meat to potatoes makes nonsensical lemonade The worst kind...worse than the worst This document is not intended for distribution during the lifetime of the author Only with his passing disseminate expecting sympathy for the old poet's story, how rarely it truly changes The ingredients for the above mentioned nonsense have been properly proportortioned and mixed per instruction Take a wiff, you can smell the sweet aroma of their baking vapor As a child I ate spoonfuls of baking powder The aroma certainly saturates the proceedings Almost intoxicating how it smacks your heart with nostalgia The stupid cartoons, the National Lampoon stolen from the convenience store you hung out in Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in, Out in That, my friend, is the beginning from the end That, my foe, is the bleedin' end of the road I'm in Ian Curtis' voice, deadening repetion Day in Day out, Day in Day out, Day in Day out, Day in Day out, Day in Day out Ding, Ding, the timer in the kitchen chimes it's melancholy ring The nonsense is at this present moment complete Ready to serve, ready to eat and please don't choke on my words, I'm half asleep
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32
Monotony Day in Day out Same thing It is My life on repeat It is what my life has evolved to be This is My deadening Monotony
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Oct 6, 2010
Oct 6, 2010 at 9:23 PM UTC
Monotony
Dandelion Flights, so Dandy He's a Swell kinda fella If you catch him at a proper Hour He gets the Rosy Red, ya See Reviews Legends, some about Storming the Beaches of Normandy Gritting Power of this Jaws, Leans in close for Dramatists Pause An Aged Mouth, the Black of Life Spits over into his World of Words Spirits gathering, the Deadening in Delivering The Tales of the Long Lost Listeners I Revel in the Imagery, Mindsight Sees Battlegrounds Soundtrack The lapping Tide, the remote Tanks and Warplane Engines, the dusty soldiers yelling out commands, Words too faint to Understand but the Sound of Fear, Gutwrenching, Rage, Pits of Painstaking, Heroic Strain I'd so easily slip back in Time To relive his Stories of Lucid Dreams WAKE-UP ISN'T CONTRAST I Only Will my Eyes open After a Silence has Befallen My Lids Jolt Open, As I survey the Scene, Listening, Feeling for any Sign and Everything The Moment collapsed In to the Present Presence. Reaching over the Table I felt for breath and the Old Man's Essence, I sighed and shook my head Knowingly   This Man who fought all Those Battles and Lived to Tell,  Would not leave in It's Retelling, not from this World nor the Next No way, Not this One....He was just One of the many Spirits that passed through from Time to Time, and needed an Ear to hear His Story... I certainly didn't Mind... Ethereal Sport is my Truest kinda Scene.
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May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 11:17 PM UTC
Spirit of Normandy
He wants none of it The unrelenting fame Paparazzi's lights Never out of sight The crushing weight Of a well-known name He wants none of it The life-sucking fame Endless demands From legions of fans Happiness funneling Right down the drain He wants none of it The soul-deadening fame Prestige a cruel mistress All joys turned to business Dousing his spirit To extinguish its flame No, he craves anonymity For stardom to cease To be happy with less Freed from the stress True glory found In a life lived in peace
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Nov 2, 2018
Nov 2, 2018 at 12:40 AM UTC
Faceless
A yellow brick road glistens before me A sign dubbed “Straight is the best way to go” Even though an ominous aura flows My inner voice screams “Chaos will erupt if you walk further” But my body moves independently Down the sunny-patched pavement The bright yellow shade grays The unbowed path jerks far left Away from the right destination The map displays a straight yellow line Heading directly to the city of great prospects The mapped road looks as secure as the Great Wall Running at ease without obstructions Yet in reality I ventured into the Desert of Disasters The powdered sand deadening my progress The volatile sandstorms Stalls my venture And conceals the route Of the yellow brick road Little water left The path nowhere in sight Only minuscule hope and perpetual effort Can reveal the true path to salvation
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Apr 20, 2013
Apr 20, 2013 at 8:40 AM UTC
Twisted Yellow Brick Road of Life
Lost in a lover's maze of hope your words twisting this way turning with deft deadening at I love you but I'm not out yet Where is the exit? I can't be guided on words lead me, show me, grab my hand.. take it in yours. Your touch, your love, it knows the way. Or will I stay forever playing this game?
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Aug 7, 2010
Aug 7, 2010 at 12:30 PM UTC
Lovers Maze
Twisting endless all-consuming halls Drain faith from faceless souls Drowning fragile minds as a white black hole Deadening the faint cry of tormented minds’ calls An ocean limitlessly deep No bottom, no surface, all sides ever-expanding And containing, concentrating in this treacherous keep Forever feeding, and forever demanding This prison of mind so real in the flesh, always inhuming, never exhuming, always changing, yet always the same. An honest suffering, all who are so free are chained in their own selves. Reality is dementia and insanity is standard, the ambitions of old are long gone to the wind. The candles of emotions are blown wild in the gust melting wick, wax, and burning wooden stand to become one hideous, beautiful, abnormal, fantastic anomaly. I ferment in this sickening hole The pungent smell of mindless efficiency Creates an equality I cannot stand This nightmarish labyrinth can break a man The ones deemed just, fuel this travesty Of false love and compassion, feeds the gates toll Once I had a meaning in life But it vanished in the course of a night In the past I may have had some grand scheme But eternal freedom has intervened I wish deep down that I could live again In the sunlight world away from my pain In my stormy mind there is always rain
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Jul 13, 2010
Jul 13, 2010 at 2:53 AM UTC
Cuckoo
prayer of hope, for young and old, who suffer from the slings and arrows sadness and the loss of love; I offer up this prayer of hope and offer you my hand around your shoulders until you no longer require it more than once, for lengthy periods, by events, other people, my self was eradicated and limping from day to night, and J faced absolutes, choices choking, alternating alternatives that offered zero, or even less than zero, and the inkwell wasn't refillable, and I could point to nothing yet encouraging a mystifying purposed existence then came a woman who asked nor proffered conditionals pre, prior post or otherwise and offered up the miraculous drink, human kindly notice, snd it drained the bitters, began fluid replacement, and slow resuscitation and then poems rebirthed me,  liberated the angry sacred gory sadness words devoid of glory, with a reworded score, and the eyes could write without a patina filter of jaundiced hatred, and whispered private internally many times a beloving hallelujah and when ever the remembrance of the near misses are crackly occasionally appearing, the surge dissipates intact quick into a netherworld for suppressing and bid "away with you," and a thin lipped smile part sneer for having survived even prospered when                     then came a woman and the self, the my self, returned after an absence of destructed decades...deadening decades and I smile when the grandchildren tell me knock knock jokes and gently knock me on the head, to make sure I'm alert, then came woman who had already~all ready knocked me on the heart
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Jul 9, 2025
Jul 9, 2025 at 9:32 AM UTC
Then Came Woman/Reflections: The Absence of Self
prayer of hope, for young and old, who suffer from the slings and arrows sadness and the loss of love; I offer up this prayer of hope and offer you my hand around your shoulders until you no longer require it more than once, for lengthy periods, by events, other people, my self was eradicated and limping from day to night, and J faced absolutes, choices choking, alternating alternatives that offered zero, or even less than zero, and the inkwell wasn't refillable, and I could point to nothing yet encouraging a mystifying purposed existence then came a woman who asked nor proffered conditionals pre, prior post or otherwise and offered up the miraculous drink, human kindly notice, snd it drained the bitters, began fluid replacement, and slow resuscitation and then poems rebirthed me,  liberated the angry sacred gory sadness words devoid of glory, with a reworded score, and the eyes could write without a patina filter of jaundiced hatred, and whispered private internally many times a beloving hallelujah and when ever the remembrance of the near misses are crackly occasionally appearing, the surge dissipates intact quick into a netherworld for suppressing and bid "away with you," and a thin lipped smile part sneer for having survived even prospered when                     then came a woman and the self, the my self, returned after an absence of destructed decades...deadening decades and I smile when the grandchildren tell me knock knock jokes and gently knock me on the head, to make sure I'm alert, then came woman who had already~all ready knocked me on the heart
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56
Hemingway said, "Write hard and clear about what hurts." And I'm hurting. And it's muddled. And it's clear all at once. But I know this: It hurts hard. When part of your heart Up and leaves- Even when you know that it's coming- It hurts like part of your heart was up And cut out. It hurts like when you get home And you run in- And no one's there to greet you. It hurts like when you sit at home- And the piano keys are dusty. It hurts and it's deafening And deadening- And the silence is overwhelming. It hurts like a coffee *** that doesn't get empty, And a grocery bill that goes down. It hurts like unworn shoes in a closet And it hurts like unwashed sheets On an unused bed. It hurts like borrowing his clothes And reading his books And writing him letters. It hurts hard And clear And muddled All at once. It hurts like goodbye.
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Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 8:57 PM UTC
Hurting Clear & Muddled
the pictures from the ISS make it very clear to everybody with a TV screen     or a computer our earth is a globe     and blue         and finite             and in a delicate balance determined by more factors than even our most sophisticated computer simulations can so far figure out it makes you wonder why of all people those who surely own more than one TV screen     and a couple of notebooks & cetera are the ones who deny that they are    destroying our rain forests    polluting our rivers and seas    poisoning our environment    ruining our lives    deadening our minds maybe     if they dare to set forth     even a step or two     from their isolated gated  habitats     and walk in the real world     they have created they are able to begin to understand
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Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016 at 5:11 PM UTC
planet earth
when I reached the age of reason I hit the ground, running. the thought flits across compact mirror smudged from years of overuse & abandon, left behind in purse bottoms and backpacks every time I switch up my style & move on to something: new/ fresh / else.   a glance into glass & I'm transported: a babe on white lambskin, a second-hand nostalgia never wholly mine. a missing, another memory removed, a down-to-the-wire tally added to the roster, unexpectedly the emotional prodigy, ostracized alongside destined veracity: as in my absolute devotion to                                                                           TRUTH! the time skip, a box-out, a blackout, a kindness. a comfort over the desk chair where homework            completes itself after countless 'mixtape playlists' limewired maniacally alphabetized, rearranged & revised until dawn/ another decade / chapter: a bookworm, a blockout, a maneuver 'round roadblock, a machination, a manipulation, a deadening, a defeat, an assistant Mother only a child self, the intrigue... yet here I am, a spectacle,   a miracle, a smashing, a light on an island out at sea, an accident, a ripening survived. can I trust myself. to dive in. for / by myself? when I lift the stretch of lambskin from an atticked brown box, a painted porcelain plate hits the ground, shattered.
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Jul 28, 2022
Jul 28, 2022 at 9:07 PM UTC
self-portrait in lieu of a mistake
The jet- black, coal-smeared dawn of days afterwards of starless nights and moon less nights of deep dark darkness thick and sticky pitch and oil ***** days of charred wood and ash.                               That scouring whiteness that etching acid purity of white heat metal days The crisp starched sun-scented wind sail sheet smoothed flat peace flag days. That white marble slab cool   blanched forensic world of questions and answers. The sunset rusty reddening pain deadening leeching of the scarlet wash crimson and vermilion ruby berries and rose blush blood tear letting letting go. No lead for gold - no alchemy here No runes or trickery - no book of spells No steady path of transformation Just the heavy hollowed wreath that black, white and red tricolour of grief. © M.L.Emmett
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Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 12:12 PM UTC
An Alchemy of Loss
I'm just sitting her waiting on the bus I'm tired, it's been a tiring day not because I was busy the opposite, sitting there stagnating like grease going hard and sticking to the pan I'm underpaid when busy the recession has ended that I hope they move me I'm getting paid for doing nothing It's soul-destroying, spirit-stifling, mind-deadening dull I'm working for the public, apparently but their an entity I rarely see I talk to them on the phone and now and again communicate by letter I'm drowning in nothingness, there is no job satisfaction maybe they'll offer me redundancy it could be the kick I need to search for something something that feeds my soul at the moment I feel I'd be better collecting the dole Here I am collecting dust pretty soon my brain will rust
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Apr 26, 2013
Apr 26, 2013 at 9:29 AM UTC
Apathy
prayer of hope, for young and old, who suffer from the slings and arrows sadness and the loss of love; I offer up this prayer of hope and offer you my hand around your shoulders until you no longer require it more than once, for lengthy periods, by events, other people, my self was eradicated and limping from day to night, and J faced absolutes, choices choking, alternating alternatives that offered zero, or even less than zero, and the inkwell wasn't refillable, and I could point to nothing yet encouraging a mystifying purposed existence then came a woman who asked nor proffered conditionals pre, prior post or otherwise and offered up the miraculous drink, human kindly notice, snd it drained the bitters, began fluid replacement, and slow resuscitation and then *poems rebirthed me,  liberated the angry sacred gory sadness words devoid of glory, with a reworded score, and the eyes could write without a patina filter of jaundiced hatred, and whispered private internally many times a beloving hallelujah and when ever the remembrance of the near misses are crackly occasionally appearing, the surge dissipates intact quick into a netherworld for suppressing and bid "away with you," and a thin lipped smile part sneer for having survived even prospered when                     then came a woman and the self, the my self, returned after an absence of destructed decades...deadening decades and I smile when the grandchildren tell me knock knock jokes and gently knock me on the head, to make sure I'm alert, then came woman who had already~all ready knocked me on the heart
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Jul 1, 2025
Jul 1, 2025 at 9:57 AM UTC
Then Came Woman/Reflections: The Absence of Self
prayer of hope, for young and old, who suffer from the slings and arrows sadness and the loss of love; I offer up this prayer of hope and offer you my hand around your shoulders until you no longer require it more than once, for lengthy periods, by events, other people, my self was eradicated and limping from day to night, and J faced absolutes, choices choking, alternating alternatives that offered zero, or even less than zero, and the inkwell wasn't refillable, and I could point to nothing yet encouraging a mystifying purposed existence then came a woman who asked nor proffered conditionals pre, prior post or otherwise and offered up the miraculous drink, human kindly notice, snd it drained the bitters, began fluid replacement, and slow resuscitation and then *poems rebirthed me,  liberated the angry sacred gory sadness words devoid of glory, with a reworded score, and the eyes could write without a patina filter of jaundiced hatred, and whispered private internally many times a beloving hallelujah and when ever the remembrance of the near misses are crackly occasionally appearing, the surge dissipates intact quick into a netherworld for suppressing and bid "away with you," and a thin lipped smile part sneer for having survived even prospered when                     then came a woman and the self, the my self, returned after an absence of destructed decades...deadening decades and I smile when the grandchildren tell me knock knock jokes and gently knock me on the head, to make sure I'm alert, then came woman who had already~all ready knocked me on the heart
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56
Driving past the roundabout. Beatles on, roof down. Been working like a dog, And when we go around I am reminded of Yeats And his widening gyre – A concept quite curious, His genius I admire. High on happiness, The battle today is done. His words consume my heart away As my shades reflect the sun. The music: loud, Really loud, too loud, Louder, Deafening. Each second stripped away, Pushed coolly across my face And through my hair like the Blustery breeze. I feel so at ease, But not for long, for today, Time turns against me in that race. Race, race faster. Go fast, Faster, Deadening. The fateful call comes. I must accept it And ignorantly fall foul Of the unexpected, As the fumes of summer fruit – The movement of strawberry sales, Crosses the beaten asphalt. My face rapidly pales. Turning and turning, Spinning half a dozen. Anarchy loosened, burning – My rough beast has risen. I fail to feel alright, Drenched in a poppy field! The music is slowly dying, Softening. A revolution has been fought, Restrained as the summer breeze Is stopped, then turned on its head. I marvel at the distant trees Spinning, so dizzy I can barely move. Crushed car, blood dripping, crushing me. The world is as red as those pitiless poppies And I discover the truth: They will be the last thing I see, The last glimpses of life: Choke, choke, Eyes spiralling, Choking, blood, Drowning.
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Jun 4, 2012
Jun 4, 2012 at 10:36 AM UTC
Downward Spiral
What is man foreshortened What is double jeopardy What is a guilty heart What is bitter mercy What is violent reprieve What is holy war What is warning sign What is forgotten acknowledgement What is typify human mind What is angry butterflies What is nondescript sensation What is confidential arrogance What is confident ignorance What is actual sciences What is factual compliance What is physical interment What is spiritual deadening What is absence of dreams What is ephemeral existence What is shackled will What is internal inhibition What is stagnant emotion What is paradox in motion What is all devoid of awe What is this waking moment What is what is.
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Mar 12, 2013
Mar 12, 2013 at 8:25 PM UTC
What. *For Vincent*