Ariel 4d
What is this feeling
Deep inside my stomach
The ache that happens when I’m reminded
Of everything before?

You existed before I knew you
I know this, it’s true
So why can’t I shake this darkness in my core? Why can’t I breathe around you?

This is something with which I am unfamiliar
This particular feeling of both hunger and satiety
I haven’t wanted to eat for days, but I force it down my throat
It turns to lead in my stomach
Why can’t I cease this ache?

When your eyes meet mine
I’m breathless
I’m so in love it hurts
I’ve been trying to escape this
But in the end, my efforts have no worth.

Irrevocable, undeniable
I cannot help this
Your smile shouldn’t be this indescribable
I’m breathless when it comes to you.

All thoughts cease
My heart races at your casual touch
You’re all I want
And that’s why it hurts.
Ariel 4d
Suffocate me with your eyes
Be the cause of my glorious demise
**** me softly, save your breath
There is nothing in you I regret

Sometimes I forget to breathe
Sometimes I cannot speak
I lose myself in you all at once
You make me lose my mind, I'm insane
How do you destroy me so beautifully?
Why do you break me?
What is it in each other that we find?
Why is it you find in me your delight?

Suffocate me with your eyes
Don't stop me, let me die
**** me softly, use that breath
There is nothing I don't regret.

You make me unable to breathe
With you around, I cannot speak
I lose myself along the way
You lead me along the path and before you know it, I'm gone
I'm insane
How do you destroy me in such a brilliant way?
Why do you break me to suit you?
What is it that, in me, you seem to like?
Why is it you delight in my pain?

Suffocate me with your eyes
Stop me in my tracks, let me cease
**** me softly with feather-light breath
Press those lips close to this skin
So that there will be nothing I will regret.

I'm unable to breathe
I cannot speak
You make me so unbearably weak
I've lost myself, and I've found you instead
Have I gone completely insane?
Maybe you can exist in my stead
I feel insane
Maybe you should just leave me to break
To exist in this gory glory
Stop this heart, halt these thoughts
Delight in my ache
Find joy in my spite
And, in the end,
Love me with all of your might.
Ariel 5d
I don’t know how to love myself
But maybe I can like myself someday.
Perhaps I’ll find comfort in my own eyes
And not within yours.
I will someday look at my reflection
And be ready to take on the world.

Tell me how to beat this
Whisper your secrets to me, Incubus
Tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Because, despite everything you say and how much it hurts,
I am powerless to resist your song.

You smile at me, with eyes like the earth:
Soft and warm and open.
How do you ensnare me so?
You barely utter a syllable and I am helpless to your siren's call.
Leave me be, Incubus. Let me be free!
For I am caught in your clutches, when this was never meant to be.

Kiss me softly, Incubus--
Touch your lips to my collarbone,
Let me feel your hands upon mine;
Press your body close.
You never wanted this,
No, you never wanted me.

Release me from this prison
Stop my fall by design
You are giving me beautiful strangulation
You suffocate me all of the time.
With your quiet words and beautiful turn of phrase
You know exactly how I am built,
And thus how to make me fall apart.

You are the Sun, the Moon, and my Star--
Your lovely voice could make me weak if properly applied.
You are my Everything, my One,
Everyone else pales to compare.
Stop it now, my dear Incubus!
You grieve me so!
Your words have more power than anyone else
The power to make me soar--or descend into the depths of ****.

Hold me closely, Incubus--
Stop the curtain as it draws near
I beg for release from your sinful words.
You provoke me in the most delectable way
Leaving me with nothing at the end of the day.
Such is torture, misery, suffering--
But in the best possible way.

Someday, perhaps, I shall be free.
With death or some other release--
Perhaps a blue-eyed boy will come along and erase all of the pain you've caused.
My dearest hope, though, is for you to see me as I see you:
Eyes full of love for someone so perfect it hurts.
I won't dwell on this, at least I'll try
For we deserve to try to live, Love--
Else we'll surely die.

Save me now, my Incubus;
Please don't let me succumb to the dark.
You're all I want in life
Anything else would be a cruel joke,
A fallacy,
A lie.
Anything else would make me want to die.
Weeeeell I thought I was over this but apparently not. One look, one smile, and I'm completely undone. FML.
Ariel Dec 2018
Though I'm better and I will not recede to that dark place,
My mind is not without doubt.
Anxiety fills this mind and my eyes lock on the parts of my body I could do without.
I don't often like how I look,
Though I don't hate what I see.
(I may never be a fan, but that's something for another day.)
My little voices like to point out all of my insecurities--

Yes, this mind is filled with doubt.
Family and friends chitter and laugh--
"What do you mean? Stop being a pout!"
They don't see what I see
In the end, that's not a bad thing
But still--this mind is full of doubt.

My stomach isn't flat enough.
My skin isn't smooth enough.
My hair is too dull.
My chin has a bit too much fluff.
I weigh too much, I'm obnoxious,
Nothing I say will ever stop my ugliness.

This mind isn't without doubt.
I will try as hard as I possibly can  
I will overcome this.
I'm strong enough. I am.
But please, for now--understand.
This mind is full of doubt.
I sometimes forget how worthy I am.
Ariel Dec 2018
I regret this distance between us
The length that could span entire galaxies
Something I hoped I would never have to see
When you pull--when you look away from me.

I miss this closeness we once shared
The times when nothing else could stop us
I guess I loved you, more than you could bear--

You're trying to save me.

I know you are.

You want to stop my rapid descent towards the rocks and tides below.
That's something you don't understand, love.
I'm already there.
My heart has already decided.
It's more than I want, but I'm helpless.

You care enough to try to spare me the heartache that you know you cause
You want to leave me in one piece, alive, whole
But, oh, darling--you don't even know!
You shatter me every day, but you remake me into something beautiful and new. Different from before.

It sounds strange, love.
But you cannot do anything to halt the tides.

Though you would try, this heart cannot beat for anyone but you.
These tides are set in the moon,
And I, like her, revolve around you.

Such a strange sensation
To come so close to losing you.
You say you're not going anywhere, but I know you will leave.
They always do.
Despite your better efforts to remain apart from everyone else, I see right through you.
You're just the same.
They're just like you.

I regret this distance between us, love.
I haven't quite yet accepted my fate.
You say you miss me and want to see me,
But do not make the effort.
I miss the days you wanted to talk every day.
I think that's the hurt that will never go away.
Ariel Dec 2018
Sometimes I wanna forget a little,
The times when your eyes locked on mine
Perhaps those stolen moments when I couldn't tell
Your boundaries seemed to blur,
We couldn't be anything more...

Sometimes I wanna forget a little,
Stop the replays running through my brain
Put an end to all of the feelings that come rushing back
But I don't know where to look.
What moment in time could I possibly erase?
I don't know what I could possibly do that would ease this pain.
There's no way to know what tiny action of yours spelled my doom
What prolonged glance, what specific touch sent me spiraling over the edge.

Sometimes I wanna forget a little.
Just a few little things.
Something to just--take away the pain.
I know I don't hurt as bad as before,
I hope I never again feel that depth of ache
But that doesn't mean everything stopped.

I see the distance in your eyes as you look away,
Something here will never be the same.
What could I do to mend this break?
What has changed?
Something will never be the same.

I want to go back to how we were before
When everything was still beautiful and new
Our long talks on the patio with the sun in the sky
Watching the birds fly overhead our little deserted place
Where no one intruded and we were at peace.

Though nothing will ever be the same, I miss it still
I remember all of the hurt you've been caused
I remember all of the small things that, together, spelled my love for you.
The way your voice could be just for me
The eyes that could see into my soul
What did you see that you didn't like?
Do you regret all of this hurt that you've caused?
Don't stop on my account, love--it is such a decadent pain.
Nothing you could do would make me go away.
No hurt would be too great.
Perhaps it's a little self-destructive--but since when did you care, anyway?
You're already doing to yourself a thousand times worse than anything I could try to replicate,
Even I don't hate myself as much as you...

Sometimes I wanna forget a little.
Stop the memories playing in my head
End the secret whispers that only I know
I don't want to know all of the insecurities beneath the muscles and pretty eyes
I don't want to know what makes you tick.
Maybe it was better when it was love from afar.

Sometimes I wanna forget a little.
Lose that caress, ignore that murmur
Stop the soft moments and end the seconds that screeched to a halt
The moments that lasted for hours but ended too fast all at once
I just wish I could forget what I've lost.
Ariel Dec 2018
If you look closely, you'll see
I'm not as broken as I used to be.
My smile is a little wider,
My eyes a little brighter,
My heart a little lighter.

I've learned to live again
An independence that was once lost
It has been unearthed, it has found refrain
No more than a week did it cost;
Vitality once again flows through these veins.

I'm better, now.
I don't let the small things touch my mind
Stress has left me, something that only time can profess
I am not as unkind
I will continue to get better.
This, I will vow.

Tears will not streak down this face
Blades will not grace this skin
I have made myself stronger through ache,
Though it was a hard battle fought,
I am better. I will not quake.
I am steadfast in myself.
This is not someone you can easily break.
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