I think that feeling finally going to bloom!

I want respect
i want to be healthy
i want to be beautiful
i want to be cared for.

i want a man who loves me
i want to be special for him
i want to colour his life with bright one
i want him to feels special with me

Brother
If you even alive right now
I want to surprise you
With give you a garden full with  Lamprocapnos spectabilis.

It's because you're the only one who will accept anything from me.

Knowing about andy is just heartbreaking
I haven't talked or anything with him
But i love him very much
He was like light to my life
Shining so beautifully
Inspiration to me

Words,describing are just not enough

I hope he rest in peace and happiness

I want two bottle nutella
I want three pack of skittles
I want two Pepsi
I want fried chicken with cajun seasoning
I want lasagna
Mostly i want foods

Crush make us smile
Crush make us laugh about funny thing he did
Crush make us go crazy
Crush make our guts go butterflies
Crush make us thinking about our own
Crush make us loving them more
Crush make us try to catch their attention
Crush make us feel hurt
Crush make us hate them
Crush make us desperate to get them
Crush make our mind exploded

When she wasn't around,
You will stick with me until you get back home.

But when she was around,
you left me and forgot about my existence. I just right there.

Anger, sadness, anxious, and more. All of that feelings I don't want to bottle it up. I wanna let my anger to everybody, crying by myself, everything that will lmake me satisfy. But then I keep bottle all my feelings cause take care of others heart.

When there no one willing to save me, You came and be my savior.
When days I broken so much
You let me your shoulder, said let me be your backbone.
Last two days ago, You asked me to marry you and I said yes. Who gonna said no when a person that will there for you ask let's get married.

Today I looking at your dead body, covered with three layers of thin fabric.
I don't understand.

I tried to hide my weakness
so they will not judge me.

Also I fail to make you feel okay

Falling for you
You're like amazed

Can you heard me,
the stuck in your way.

Before you go
I want you to know that
I'm not, i am not for you.

When i was a happy little girl
I always got bad dream about
a girl locked herself in bedroom
cuts at her arms
scars all over her body.

I was curious what's wrong about it.

Then, i growing up and I finally understand. Those nightmares are about me. Myself when I'm a teenager.

Human screaming
Fire burning their mouths
That's what they got
When they done something
**wrong

your love seems old
but it's gold

Seeing you lying on hospital's bed really make me heart broken. If you really gonna go, then I'm ready.
I'm ready to let you go. At least you don't have to suffer through all the pain.
I will learn how to accept your death.
I will try.

You the one told people that you love me, not me.
You the one who like being teased about us, not me.

I don't love you, don't you get it?
Leave me alone.
Just let me cry by myself.
Let me let out my anger by myself.
I don't need you to help me, to comfort me.

every morning,i wonder on bed
why my life depends on those 5 mm pills..
what will happen if i do not take it?

I've been alone, waiting
for you
at home
I got no feel of the air no more
I turn off the radio
My ear sick of hearing love song all over the radio
I cannot find anymore
The zing we shared
Everything I think when wrong
Cause you are faking around me
Don't be afraid
I will superwoman
And
I'm gonna fly, fly, fly
million kilometers away from you

She was there, standing straight, looked strong, smiled till showing her teeth, smiley eyes. She looked gorgeous in 80'some fashion. Her hair tied in ponytail. My small hand in her hand. Yeah we are on vacation that day. We had so much fun. Dad was there too.

Now,
She is lying on her own bed, she became small and her back is hunched. Her eyes sometime open and close. She just dressed in not-a-beautiful-dress. She lost a lot of her hair. My hands holding her hands but she don't respond. My eyes are watery. I tried to hold it back but i can't. I don't want to lose you. I love you so much that i rather die before you go, leaving this world.

My heart is a traveler sweetheart
       You are my heart's destination

My heart is a boat sweetheart
        Whose shore is you

My heart is lonely sweetheart
If you come
       It will be like a full crowd

I wanna see you*  








              But you

                            *Not


             *Mine

People acted like they know, understand our love story,

But no, they did not.
Our love story is complicated and it pretty hard for people to understand it.

My bedroom wall full with sticky notes.
You know what it wrote on the notes?
It is the beautiful, amazing memories we been together.
I wrote it because I will forget some of our best moments and i don't want to forget it.

There's so much things in my head right now. Can't think straight.

I know you're scared of me,
I know you didn't get an enough sleep because those dark circles under your eyes told me.
I can't go far away from you.
You are always shining and it's make us,me wanna get closer to you.
You can make our life better and rest in peace.

We're all dead now. There's nothing we can do unless with your help.
We need you because we are just a soul.

I can delete all your picture, but it's  hard for me to forget all our memories together.

Do want you love while you are young.
Enjoy while you can.
Live your adventure.
Life is just once so do things that you love.  


Let's talk about it!!!!!!

Some people always said that to us about enjoy life blah blah blah

I want to talk about it because I CAN'T DO ANYTHING I LOVE!!
how i can do things that i love when school 5 days in a week??
How i can enjoy it when i am sad?
Howw?? I'm sick when people said that especially the one who already successful in life

clock have been tick tok tick tok for hours, days, months. And I always thinking where on this frikin earth have you been? There's no reason to get far away from me. I know you want to say something and I'm ready to hear it.

I think some smiles are mask
To hide
The pain underneath because
If you showed the pain
That's bruising your heart
And weighing down your mind
You'd simply fall apart