My bedroom wall full with sticky notes.
You know what it wrote on the notes?
It is the beautiful, amazing memories we been together.
I wrote it because I will forget some of our best moments and i don't want to forget it.

I miss the smell of fresh air.
I miss to hear grandma and grandpa laugh together with us.
I miss the cold water in the bathroom where i will skipped take a bath at 6 a.m.
I miss running to paddy fields with cousins and fell in mud.
I miss jump into the river, cleaning ourselves.
I miss my kampung.

Don't think you have been rejected. I love you but I don't. I'm sorry that i lying to you, yelled at you. Seriously i didn't mean to be like that. I want you to forget about me and start your life with someone who is better than me. I'm not good enough for you, believe me.

I think that feeling finally going to bloom!

Rumors spread
Let it flow around
Until they know that they killed someone

i was thinking if i see you with other girl, i will get hurt...

*but if i am with you, other girl will get hurt...

It's hurt when i saw you with a girl.




               *Not me

There's so much things in my head right now. Can't think straight.

When she wasn't around,
You will stick with me until you get back home.

But when she was around,
you left me and forgot about my existence. I just right there.

People acted like they know, understand our love story,

But no, they did not.
Our love story is complicated and it pretty hard for people to understand it.

I am sorry for being such a ***** around you.

I wonder why I wasted my whole life thinking about you while you're so happy with other girl.

Finally, I confessed to you how much i love you, missed you, worried sick about you. I kept ask my friend of you are still single or not. What you doing nowadays and how you are doing. How much I hate to see you with different girl in each week. And no offense, but you even go out with this tomboy.

Finally I got courage to said all that to you, in front of you in my dream.

clock have been tick tok tick tok for hours, days, months. And I always thinking where on this frikin earth have you been? There's no reason to get far away from me. I know you want to say something and I'm ready to hear it.

Every soul will taste death.

She was there, standing straight, looked strong, smiled till showing her teeth, smiley eyes. She looked gorgeous in 80'some fashion. Her hair tied in ponytail. My small hand in her hand. Yeah we are on vacation that day. We had so much fun. Dad was there too.

Now,
She is lying on her own bed, she became small and her back is hunched. Her eyes sometime open and close. She just dressed in not-a-beautiful-dress. She lost a lot of her hair. My hands holding her hands but she don't respond. My eyes are watery. I tried to hold it back but i can't. I don't want to lose you. I love you so much that i rather die before you go, leaving this world.

You should be shame of yourself.
He been in relationship with you for four years and never mad at you.
He is also willing to come from far away just to see you. just. Did you know how much he loves you?
I think you don't because you're busy look at other guy.
I know he will never ever give up on you because I knew him longer than your relationship with him.
Yes, there's once i love him but i let him go to you. I thought you will be with him and i was wrong. I regretted what i have done. You are lucky he loves you.

I know you're scared of me,
I know you didn't get an enough sleep because those dark circles under your eyes told me.
I can't go far away from you.
You are always shining and it's make us,me wanna get closer to you.
You can make our life better and rest in peace.

We're all dead now. There's nothing we can do unless with your help.
We need you because we are just a soul.

I was shocked when you held my hand.
Nothing happened but you still held my right hand. Tightly.

I watched your face, i knew you but i can't remember who.
You're smiling and pulled me closer to your embrace.

I want to say to you that i think i have a crush on you.

But then i heard "BANG!! ".
Then continuing with screams.

......

I opened my eyes and found out I'm in bed.
My mom is screaming at me to wake up now.

Do want you love while you are young.
Enjoy while you can.
Live your adventure.
Life is just once so do things that you love.  


Let's talk about it!!!!!!

Some people always said that to us about enjoy life blah blah blah

I want to talk about it because I CAN'T DO ANYTHING I LOVE!!
how i can do things that i love when school 5 days in a week??
How i can enjoy it when i am sad?
Howw?? I'm sick when people said that especially the one who already successful in life

I'm tired of feeling
I'm tired of school
I'm tired of fake friends
I'm tired of my family
I'm tired of me

I wanna see you*  








              But you

                            *Not


             *Mine

I want two bottle nutella
I want three pack of skittles
I want two Pepsi
I want fried chicken with cajun seasoning
I want lasagna
Mostly i want foods

I think some smiles are mask
To hide
The pain underneath because
If you showed the pain
That's bruising your heart
And weighing down your mind
You'd simply fall apart

To new generation

Where kids and teenager are sad

And always use fake smiles

Would you like me more
If I weighed a stone less?
If I had smaller front teeth
And I didn't always stress?
Would you like me more
If I knew how to say no?
If I liked watching movies
Or could use Final Cut Pro?
Does it bother you
When I text you late at night?
That my paranoia dances
Around the truth when you're right?
Is my laugh the final straw?
Or my awful sense of humour?

every morning,i wonder on bed
why my life depends on those 5 mm pills..
what will happen if i do not take it?

I wish I had know andy early

Knowing about andy is just heartbreaking
I haven't talked or anything with him
But i love him very much
He was like light to my life
Shining so beautifully
Inspiration to me

Words,describing are just not enough

I hope he rest in peace and happiness

I'm pathetically in love with YOU

The worst part
about being sad
is that
you dont even know
what makes you happy
anymore

Tell me the story about how the sun loved the moon so much he died every nightbto let her breathe

My heart is a traveler sweetheart
       You are my heart's destination

My heart is a boat sweetheart
        Whose shore is you

My heart is lonely sweetheart
If you come
       It will be like a full crowd

The scar of me and you

It's hurt even more

When i thinking about

Our memories together

I just regretted

That im falling for you

I want respect
i want to be healthy
i want to be beautiful
i want to be cared for.

i want a man who loves me
i want to be special for him
i want to colour his life with bright one
i want him to feels special with me