Break down the mirror, and break me down
brains in my hair and teeth at my wrists,
she said fourteen caps of alprazolam gave her all she needed
she needs a new world, a new earth, a new ruler, that's what she needed-
I told you it wasn't meant to be this way, i was meant to be the prettiest
but girls with thickened veins and thickened wrists are destined for the bridge edge
My silver smiler body double told me to cut out the poison in my veins
and guess what I did it I did it I did it again
tell them your name, dysmorphia, tell them all what you think of me -
start the car and run me over, honey.

You see it from afar. Noticing the subtle glow.

"I'm sorry it hasn't been raining for you lately. Will the crimson of my wrists be worthy enough for you?"

"I'm sorry the rays of sunshine haven't been gleaming and lighting you up. Will the blaze from skin all the way to my bones, when I set myself on fire, be worthy enough for you?"

Artist
The only description of her
The way her eyelashes glitter
In the shining sunlight
The way her pale face
Is angled to imperfection
In a captivating way
Where you have to feel every curve
Every indent on her cheeks

The way her wrists are stained
With the color of her hair
A raw red
Exploding into the world
Exposing her
From all the rest

It's just a shame
That art is only admired
After it's lifespan is gone

let me tell you boys and girls
how it feels to drag a beating nicotine heart from your ribs
and drain the blood from your pink and purple fingertips
let me tell you how i cried when I pulled a slice from my wrist and told myself I was beautiful
time and time again I told myself i was beautiful -
tell me how it feels to rot inside
and kiss the very thing your mama feared with ruby red lips
i've got time on this earth to spare, kids -
nail paint over blood and bones showing
hoarse throats and his own special kind of poison in my guts -
red eyeliner and a black death in tear ducts.

"you've gotten bigger."
you say to me
as we eat at the same tree
that we have eaten at since grade 7.

"your hair looks horrible"
you say to me
as we get ready to go
to his party.

"your acne is coming back"
you say to me
as we get ready for prom
and our dates.

and one day
i skip lunch
and you ask why
and i shrug.

and one day
i curl my hair for the first time
and you as why
and i shrug.

and one day
i wear lots of make up
and you ask why
and i shrug.

but that night
i slit my wrist
and swallowed pills
instead of dressing up.

why you might ask?
because i'm horrendous
inapplicable
disgusting.

don't you remember
the days you reminded me?
well here you go.

One cut
Two cut
Three cuts more
No more Ruby no more.
Four cuts
Five Cuts
Can’t let it go,
Can’t stop it.
I love the rush
The release from my chains
That have been choking me.
This obsession,
With societies idea of
“Perfection?”
It’s killing me.
Your obsession of me,
it’s merely a fascination of the sick
And twisted.
Want to see more?
Come here.
I’ll show you darling.
You start here you go there.
You feel nothing but the knife.
Sweet silver against the white.
******* torture.
Oh I see.
Now you’re scared of me.
But my pet.
I’ll just laugh in your face.
Because you see:
YOU did this to me.
I’d like white roses for my funeral.

Tiny wrists.
Tiny rivers of blue.
Translucent.
I'm thinking about making myself a home
Beneath your pale skin.
I'd float along your lazy blue river
Until I make my way to your ghost chest
And burrow myself a tunnel
Deep inside your heart.
Light myself a campfire,
And pitch a tent.
Looks like I'm gonna be here for a while.
I am rocked to sleep with each beat:
Onetwo. Onetwo. Onetwo.
And my heart-house dreams
Intermingle with yours.
Maybe if we dream hard enough,
We can create a world of our own.
Where red blood cells sing like angels
Housed in four chapel-chambers,
And each artery stretches up far
Like a rainforest canopy
Riddled with exotic capillary-flowers.
Can we be safe here?
The heart has tender walls
But it is a soldier.
Though it may be kicked down,
It forges on
And picks itself right back up again.
Always beating,
Always winning.
Your heart is a soldier.
A fighter.
A protector.
I think I feel safe,
For the first time in a long time,
Within the home I've made for myself
Inside of who you are.