He crawled from his van
Hair slicked back like the wind had grabbed it and never let go
"What's up man?"
His voice was shrill, and scratchy
Like a villainous rat from an animated movie
The sound of it honestly sent me into a daze
Trying to comprehend his existence
He'd carved himself a niche
Cleaning the carpets at this lackluster apartment community
I listened anxiously as he spoke to the other maintenance guy beside me
Although my time at this property was short,
I learned of Candido's way.

I am a woman.
I am smart.
I am kind.
I am compassionate.
And I am so many other beautiful things.

I am a person.

I am not an object for you to enjoy.
I am not something for you to whistle at.
I am not just ***** or *** or legs.
I am not your pretty scenery.

I am a person.

She said: you're the light within yourself
Keep the fire burning
You are going to sparkle through your life
And I'll be there to watch

My Monday morning walk into the door’ll
manifest a girl who has me questioning any aforementioned morals

Watch her wiggle past,
her little figure sending ripples through the store
catching eyes with simple gestures she won’t think about

Core shaken
Mind taken just before
I can collect and reset
Keep my cool and restore
The composure I project
Refuse to let the shallow
Sections of my thoughts
Invade and settle over
Work I should be doing
to ***

I know it’s ******* to portray poetic images of depth within myself
While at the same time
I pine over the darling like a Barbie on a shelf
Because I barely said a word to her

Before in my mind I undressed and ******* her

And it’s lines like that
Flaring through to self awareness
when they hit the page
Caging what I say in hallow careless little quips about how much of myself that I’m embarrassed
That leave me ill prepared to change cuz I can’t bare it
And she’s a carrot on a stick I guess
I’ll parrot my stresses to myself and bury it
Let the sensations arising
Around the new addition dull or deplete when testing
Her personality shows she likes to eat babies or listen to future or something equally detesting.

But **** new chicks got a nice ***
Which I’m sure she’s never heard and wants to hear
From me or strangers when they see her
To watch her steer is just confusing
Like... How the hell do you stand is all I’m saying
Clearly your center of gravity
Has to be six inches further back than the average mans
But I digress again
All I wanna say is I'm not an awful person
At least I don't think.
I think I need a drink.

it came like midnight cold,
slowly through the cracks of unlocked doors.
it’s wasn’t until it spilled from my mouth
that i began to know;
this bitter black ink
seeping from between my teeth,
belonged to you,
and not to me.
without apology.

— i refuse to let your bitter black heart bleed into mine any longer

the day i met you
in knew from the moments
leading up to it
the feeling of emptiness
was me missing you
and now when we’re apart
even for a little bit
it’s me missing you