The wind blows slowly as we face new trials,
slowly it wanders into our minds,
sometimes it goes beyond our hearts,
moments that are realized to be harsh words kept inside.

shaking, i'm shaking, i'm told.
like i can stop it somehow
one second i'm in class
the next
i'm on a stretcher
being asked by my principal
if i'm alright?
seizing, you're seizing, you're having a seizure
i'm told as i
puzzle together my surroundings
and as i do i begin to cry
why me? i ask
what did i do to deserve this?
even now, my memories of that day have been tampered
as if some omnipotent force doesn't want me to remember
the horrors of that day.
my friends tell me i walked out of class
no explanation as to why
maybe i thought it looked nice outside
the white clouds painted across the cool ocean sky

the doctors tell me my nerves are misfiring
but so are the thoughts in my head
for whatever reason i end up again
in some unknown hospital bed.
i close my eyes and count to ten
hoping for this to all just end,
but the stress disagrees with me
and leaves my weak head penned.

the last time it happened was in the bleak december
when the skies were gray with the sun's last ember
i am scared of the odds i won't make it to september
because of some unfair episode i can't even remember

Thursday, April 19th
forever imprinted on my inaccurate brain
the day my grandfather died.
the day my mother was diagnosed with cancer.
the day my life changed forever

people say high school was
the greatest four years of their life
that i should cherish and remember forever
for i will never be able to grab a hold of time
and wish to be back
but how should i remember high school
when memories are being deleted
in my brain's system files
and the only memories i have
are of my family falling apart;
my tears' perpetual flowing down my soggy cheeks?

my friends tell me i'm not alone in this,
but how could i be anything else.
they don't know how i feel,
they joke about it now like it's okay
watch out, they say,
don't have a seizure about it, they joke
by now my eyes are hoover dams
damming the tears from
showing the outside world
my true feelings.

and now i conclude,
as i am no longer in the mood
to sit here in deep introspection
because after all, everyone has imperfections
mine are just more unique.

Can you hear me cry
my inner self ready to die,
My soul is fighting for you,
Yet you left me and never came by,
It was the sense of despair
that brought me alive,
but I can't live for myself,
because you are my life,
The demons will consume me,
trying to **** me,
It will be my end,
under the demons within me,
they will trick me,
yet a cry for help,
shall be my last try,
Save me,
before the demons conquer my last fight.

Why are there people like this in the world?
They bring you down to the ground.
The way they bring you down hurts and it is hard to ever get up again.
Something restricting your strength.
Overpowering your body.
A strange feeling of guilt mixed with anger builds inside of you.
But the lack of strength limits you to take any action.
So you just lay there on the ground.
Crying.
Until the pain eventually goes away...

I kept on loving him.
I kept on loving hi
I kept on loving h
I kept on loving
I kept on lovin
I kept on lovi
I kept on lov
I kept on lo
I kept on l
I kept on
I kept o
I kept
I kep
I ke
I k
I
It
It w
It wa
It was
It was m
It was my
It was my m
It was my mi
It was my mis
It was my mist
It was my mista
It was my mistak
It was my mistake.

Speak of love
I'll be there
A bunch of daffodils
In my hand
We walk the hills
I work the tills
To put money in their hands
And mine