Despite our sundry transportations, trains and planes,
I don't believe us to really be voyagers;
The years, months, ticks and tocks that come and go in vain,
Like Ulysses at sea, they're the real wanderers.

Doomed to drift on water, timeless, yet growing old,
Aye, never setting anchor, always setting sail
To the end of th'endless river, where lies fool's gold.
That's all the future is; just Melville's ***** whale.

When the boat is languid, we ask it to go faster,
When the boat is lively, we implore it to stop;
The ship capsizes, it had too many masters
But just go with the flow and it'll stay on top.

We couldn't captain a tiny rubber dinghy,
Time's the real pioneer, and we her passengers.

Walking
Wandering
Thinking

As I continue moving
Here, it's all spinning
Spiraling into my doom

I am lost
Floating into my own madness
It's killing me

I want to fall
I want to fly
Anywhere,
Just not floating

Bad or good
I just want something new

I want a new universe to explore
I want to get out of my "home"

Am I already blinded by Earthly things?
Or is this what it's supposed to be?

I once set sail to a shipwreck and no one’s heard back from me yet.

Whether or not this storm can be weathered, my torn sails and bruised masts will be seen fighting the futile.
And whether or not I can come back from this, I won’t dock at familiar shores for a while.

This salty shame-filled seawater may as well be the blood that flows so reluctantly through my veins because inside it all feels the same and at least then I could give the ocean some of this blame.

I’m still made of rotten wood and rusted nails,
I just got better at sinking.

But I’m tired of throwing buckets of salt water over my head hoping I don’t slip,
So maybe I’ll take a break from going down with the ship.

So maybe I can take note from the tide and change.
Because I'm so ******* tired of trying to figure out how I wound up on this page.

Blame it on bad luck, blame it on love, blame it on god,  blame it on the price of a new heart, blame it on a bad start, blame it on the ******* weather,
But even as the water rises, I can still hear the echoing lament of a would-be sailor,
“I swear I can be better.”

The clouds always seem to want to float higher
As if the higher they go,
the closer they get to heaven.

Maybe that's true,
I wouldn't know,
I'm not a cloud

But if I were,
I'd want to go higher too..

I'm done it's over
No more no less
I'm done with this touture, distress
Stomach so nauseous
My mind so vicious
I can't do much more
It really won't be long before
I'm out that door
Or is that a metaphor
I really dont care anymore
My life's a *****
Lending my heart
My life my part
And nothing but pain
Nothing remains
My core is all gone
No strength to take on
This world
My head spins it's twirled
I'm weak a dieing clover
I'm done its over

Inside me was beleif
But was destroyed my mischief
I'm all gone from this life
Would I take it with a knife
To my throat
Maybe if I drowned I might float
Who cares anymore
I'm down on the floor
No more helping hands
All I can see is empty lands
Hurt so hard
A fat piece of lard
A waste of space
A complete disgrace
To the whole human race
Time to find a new place
Who am I, what am I
A monster meant to die?
So hurt inside
I tried to hide
But is death the key
Maybe then I can be free

I have them; people
who can't live alone
i crawl through
mud of ironic smiles
teeth yellowed by
nicotine death but
you never saw me
the way I wanted you
to, anyway, let's re
begin

I'm running
spilling blood
snail trails
slimy leftovers
my footprints
aching soles
reaching out to
mend
other aching souls
each pill a haze
each hit a day's gaze
away from this
I need to be
alone without being solitary
drown me in - no
I can do it myself.
hit me, i want this
will you promise
to keep my collar tight?

.. I'm afraid: if I breathe fresh air
what will become of my sweet staleness
sitting in heaven's refuse
i'm among such
**** sinners
my perfect brokenness
hush, i'm spinning
bring more pills, when you return.
I'm sober ( I hate this)

Smooth out the wrinkles
before I sleep
don't forget
to tuck in the sheet
chill the fluffed pillows
sprinkle soft scents
floating light as air
off to sleep I went