As I sit here on October 30 2015 with tears coming down my face my heart is telling me that I have to become a new person even doe it's going to hurt but do it really make a difference? Right now since I'm already hurting but any way the new me ain't going to care about what others think,
Care about helping others if they do me wrong,
The new me ain't going to give chance over chance over chance over chance
This is the new me
The new me ain't going to cry anymore the new me is stronger than the old me and the new me really just don't care anymore but the old me care a lot
As I sit here it's said to say but all this is true cause pain cause people to change and you can't expect people to stay the same after getting hurt over and over and over and over again
Life just don't work that way sorry but the new me don't care it just don't care
If you feel like this way I'm sorry cause I know how it feels and I know it is one of the worst pain ever but if you never felt like this I pray to God that you never have to in your lifetime.

I love you,
thats what you told me,

and I know you didn't mean it like that,
I know what it meant,

and I'm happy,
I'm happy,

I rarely say that,
I didn't think I would,

I blindedly handed you all my trust,
I didn't expect anything good to come out of this,

and I love you too,
the same kind of love,

you love me with,
thank you,

i'm barely even a teen
you can't expect me to fall
that isn't fair
i know most people assume
only the damaged and broken
keep themselves
from falling
but they aren't the only ones
because i'm here
and i'm neither
but i refuse to fall
maybe i'm scared
of welcoming something
foreign that not even my mother can make me understand
love cannot be taught, is what i'm told
maybe i just don't want to have something just to lose it

"don't expect to not get disappointed,"
they said.

i didn't expect you to hurt me
no, not
the same way you know i already have been before

that's what blinded me
but had my eardrums alert
adverting its attention
to my slowly cracking heart

it wasn't that you hurt me
that hurt the most
it was how you did
while knowing,
how you were doing it,
all while promising
"i wouldn't ever"
turns out you would
turns out you are
like them
like all the others
and
dare i say it,
like him.

Falling apart
Emotionally
Physically
Mentally

I work so hard to please everyone
To help
To give
To smile
To be positive for other people

Yet i get nothing in return
A few extra hugs and aqquaintances maybe
The occasional thanks
Dont get me wrong
I dont expect anything in return

But i do expect that people would at least
Try
Because im sick of always putting in the most effort
Sick of being the one to pick up the pieces
Sick of the one walking in the shadows of others

I just want to be cared for
Not just cared about.

Manic spells have gripped him well
the ups and downs his worthy crown
Kingly view, but worldy hue
He doesn't find much laughter.
He slew his enemies, with righteous idignation,
But wealth, (it seems) is the mightiest nation.
(...)
Hesitation.
Is He worthy? (Of his crown)
Can he lead? (His children)
...
reflecting,
The war begins.
He smiles, he grins.
"We win"
Past sins...
Hold no weight; When the path is straight
& narrow
Firey arrows...
Quenched!?
With which whench?
Hath hitch hence!
Another False-pretense.
"Such non-sense"
...
"Haha shutup"
^-^
...
He picksup'
Hisword.
(Honed.
Sharp.
An Awe-inspiring, blade of Legend.)
And counts the costs of the reward.
How can He afford.
To not:
See?

Help may come someday
When you least expect, or want;
But it will save you.