Here now
the pain of love’s bitter reality… surrounds me
But how
can they be better if love always leaves…
every time? (Lost in a fevered dream)
Every time.

But if we lie now, will we make it?
If it hurts, surely I can take it…
Is this really what we both need?

Is someone better who you’re dying to see
or is someone better who you’re trying to be?

Love, now
You’ve poisoned everything in my reprieve…
with insecurities
And now
You’ve returned with doubts, undoubtedly…
You’d love me (was it an opportunity?)
To hate me.

Is there someone better that you’re dying to meet
or are you waiting for someone better than me?
Will I be a better someone for setting you free
or am I someone better that I can’t see?

Someone better… (for the love that you need)
Someone better… (for the love that I seek)

Time and time again, you push me to the brink
To abandon ship and swim before we sink
But these thoughts don’t fade away when I sleep

Isn’t someone better who you’re supposed to be?

Because you were the one fall in love with me

The future is no surprise if you can predictably
say ‘someone better’ is someone I’m gonna meet?
Cause I’m sure as hell that someone better isn’t someone I need
If someone better is who you’re supposed to be.

Is someone better God has yet to create?
Because someone better always seems to escape
“Someone better” - an excuse to abandon and break
When you won’t accept your love’s been a mistake.

© 2015 Neal Emanuelson

“I’m just tired.”
*That’s your excuse.

Silence is the seconds after she sets her phone down and before he texts her back
She keeps it on vibrate so it doesn't wake me
That's pretty polite of her
I think it's cute she thinks I could fall asleep

My teeth tingle the good *** tingle when my head board shivers
Maybe memories
Maybe foreshadowing

She has different sighs
Ones for when she's sad, angry, overwhelmed
His texts and our hugs have the same sigh
That's how I know she still loves me

She says his name in bed
We both pretend it didn't happen
It's better that way
I keep her warm for him
She keeps me...
She keeps me

I don't go through her phone and read her text messages
She deletes them
That's polite of her
I don't ask about him
It's only polite of me
There's nothing more to be said
I get the good *** tingle when her phone vibrates
Not when it beeps though
Because if it beeps it's just her sister
And I don't want *** with her sister

She tells me I know things about her no one else knows
It's cute she thinks no one else knows

Can you count?
I can count
1 text 2 text 3 text
It's just like sheep
If the sheep were stealing your ****

She's not my ****
Just wanted to make that clear
She's his ****
I just stay here

I like it when she pretends he doesn't exist
It's polite of her
He exists
They say goodnight around three
When she turns her phone volume back up
I whisper good night
She pretends I don't whisper
I just hope if I have the last word she'll dream about me too

On occasion he turns her on
That's when we have the best ***
She keeps her eyes closed so she can see him
I close my eyes too
I like to imagine her eyes are open

Sometimes they fight
About me
We don't fight about him
She appreciates that I can hear it in her sighs

Sometimes his texts get frustrated sighs
Sometimes I get those too
Usually when I try and rest my hand on hers during silence
She doesn't like that
She likes him

She is spelling
His name
Like an excuse
And painting
His soul
Like cracked
Eggshells

I wish I could tell you
that you'r beautiful to me
But you'r beautiful to all of them
even those who can't see

I wish i could tell you
no one will ever love you like i do
But you are so lovable
i would be lyin' to myself if i tried to

I wish i could tell you
that i will give you the stars
But you got them already
in your smile and your eyes

I wish i could tell you
that i would make you happier than ever
But you'r already happy
and the last time i was i can't even remember

These are the things that are keepin' me quiet
letting' me let you go on with your life
I got the blues, my guitar and my writin
you have yourself and your man and his love