It's constant,
the broken lights
lost in the darkness of the weary night
Tiresome days
and Restless nights
Seem to last longer than the happiness that is claimed to be infinite.

Sadness is forever,
when happiness has left it leaves a hollow hole
Before happiness enters,
there is a hollow hole
During happiness the hole is only patched a single stitch
Still gaping and burning and aching and paining
And trying to complete the stitch work just seems
un-achievable
unrealistic
unattainable

impossible. unreachable.
and i have rested my needle and thread
I'll just watch it grow bigger instead.

i'm constantly
shaking and
the only time
i notice this
is when i stop.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
of things sweet and in reach
separation causes a spirit to wander
to things they never teach
Affections flitter
Stomachs flutter
and things are not always
constant

As I feel the heartbeat through my body a constant reminder of an inner hobby a thing that makes me a person maybe not so free a constant relief of tension to redirect the emotion to bring distraction to a constant reminder that your not here all it's ever done is endive fear who am I to turn away run again who am I to leave again to bring myself to run free again who am I to just give up and leave behind a whole life of love who are you to walk away leave me here for another day I can believe that I'll stay when I just wanna run away to my dismay you run away so far away to leave behind what I am but why I tried I cared I cried for you to see what inside me... But not enough I must grow tough to run away and leave this place.... As tears come raining down my face