The clocks wind down,
and soon the Earth will spin
tightly again.

How many passes do we need
to take a conscious breath?
How many paths?

The curtain lowers
before the curtain rises again.
I find myself staring at the red velvet,

the in between.

Have I been forgotten more than I’ve been remembered?
I’m afraid to ask but feel the gentle nudge of my overthinking little demon telling me I need to know. I want to preserve. That is my goal ultimately. Preserve my life, preserve my memories. If only I had done it sooner, maybe I could remember my own Mother’s voice. Maybe I could remember who I am. What I want to be. I am built of choices and principles that I am not entirely sure I agree with, but have I ever been entirely sure about anything? Uncertainty is my main anxiety, uncertainty is my most well established feeling, for there is no doubt in my mind that I am uncertain when I’m uncertain. Or maybe there is. I want to see color on my cheeks, happiness on my lips that shows with every word I say, a body I feel blessed to have no matter my weight. I want to taste happy. I want to taste it in all of its mellow waves of sweet fruit and darting sunsets. I want to taste the Caribbean Sea mixed with sweaty hands and palm trees. I want to be happy. That’s who I want to be. I know there’s no ending that ends with “Well kids, she did it! She found happiness and became nothing but an overflowing beam of light flooding those she loved with warmth and growth and the support she always wished she could give. She found happy.” But if I could just get a taste, a whiff of happiness, maybe that would be enough. Maybe then I could move on and pursue my next dream. Maybe if I caught a glance of happy I would gain the strength to fix our economy. I don’t want happy to be my “The End,” I want happy to be my “Sorry for the technical difficulties, now ladies and gentlemen, on with the show.” I want it to be what gives me the strength to do everything else. Maybe it’s nonsense, only a dream with no bearing to reality. Or maybe I am simply overlooking, overthinking, everything over, look down, look down! Stop being “Over,” things, you are over nothing, you are not the sky nor the clouds in it, you are not the highest branches nor the leaves that remain on it. You are the ground. The very definition of grounded. People walk on you because you let them, it makes you happy. People often see you as *****. You are the ground, which means you are necessary, you are what holds us together, quite literally. You are the ground, and that's makes you beautiful. You’re not intimidated by the footsteps of a thousand warriors for you are under them. And for once, that means you have the advantage. You are the ground. It is short and sweet, so why do you still manage to find misery? You are the ground from which happiness grows. I am happiness. You found me.

Nervous or something
Doing something like this for the first time in your life?

If so,
a little bit of nervousness helps in life,
since a little bit of nervousness is always there when you start with something new,
something which was never done before in life,
thus making a little bit of nervousness always right.

A little bit anxiety gives light to the fact that you are alert, awake and conscious to the fact that any moment in time something might go wrong.

Quite seriously something like this goes on at the back of mind
Quite seriously something like this must have happened somewhere back in the past in life

Never mind, there is always a first time in everyone's life
So what if the mind feels anxious
So what if it comes to the mind that everything will not fall in it's place
Never mind, there is always a first time in everyone's life.

Change of mind leads to deviation
Change of attitude leads to diversion
Finally everyone's makes his own choice depending on the need of hour.

New to a thing
New to something.
Something which was never done before,
then never mind,
mistakes happen in life.

Always remember mistakes are lessons that need to be learnt and revised in the present with regards to an uncertain future.

Mistakes are bound to happen
Since nobody is completely perfect,
at some point in time each individual makes a mistake in his life.

If a mistake is made then the first thing to do is to accept the fact that a mistake made, since facts never change and truth can be stranger than fiction.

Now the best thing to do is to learn from the mistake that is made.
In doing this an otherwise dull life becomes very much interesting,
if not engrossing.

Mistakes happen,
everyone makes a mistake in his life,
however important is to learn from those mistakes,
gain experience through the process of learning,
then see how life changes,
then see how it will boost your level of confidence,
something which will be the need of hour at a given moment in time.

Different will be the way of looking at life once a mistake that is made is accepted as a mistake,
from then onwards life will tend to tread along a different path,
of course, which will be right.

So never give up in life, since there is always a ray of hope for those who agree and accept upon the fact that it's their own responsibility to fight against the odds that come along the way in life.

Strange are the ways of life
Strange seems life,
however,
if routine is always followed,
then it's just not possible to add a new flavor to life.

In doing something different,
one thing is going to happen for sure,
a mistake or two is bound to happen.
Don't worry because mistakes happen
Learn from those mistake.

Life goes on
Life continues
Life follows the present moment in time, which will very soon be a thing of past,
then the next moment in time will come taking the place of moment that has passed and thus becoming the present moment in time.

Life goes on
Life continues
Life follows the present moment in time.

everyone associates the sound of silence with calm
the sound of silence can be terrifying
the sound of silence is not silent
the sound of silence is unbearable pain as those voices scream out in agony

“youre worthless”
“no one cares about you”
“you should just **** yourself”
“youre the ugliest thing ive ever seen”

the sound of silence
the sound of
the sound
the

the sound of i wish everything would just **shut up.

You get lost in your own mind sometimes
just trying to find yourself
locked inside of a prison where the bars
are made out of your fears
the guards are negative connotations
and the warden is your own inflated ego
You dare not go beyond the walls of self-doubt
without proactive reconnaissance
but you can’t help feeling that freedom lies
just beyond your insecurities

You will never know what true freedom is,
Till you have been caged by your own consciousness.

Regret.

Nibbles away at the tiny corners of the conscious mind.

Preoccupying ones thoughts with remorse and somewhat desire.

Remorse over what is done
and what is to be done.

A desire
to do it again.

Regret.

Not a feeling rather a trait.
Its characteristic
embodied within the human

Its here, and its here to stay.