My friends can't stop loving or wishing to find someone to love more
to find someone to hold them, to hold open the door
Someone to buy them roses when they go out on dates
Or watch a movie together, staying up late
But forever they go from person to person
to find the perfect match, to believe in true love
They hurt and they cry, holding their hands to their chests
Their trust was broken, and their needs continued unmet
To me, love is pain. And I can't bring myself to love anyone
Though I've tried..
Love cannot be trusted, and love cannot be held
Most of the time, love is unsuccessful for those who fall under its spell
If it's true that everyone has one, with a red string tied to each other
Someone perfect
Someone who is kind
Someone who will fit the needs of the other
When will I meet mine, or the others to stop the pain
Why must we continue to search for a treasure only to be in vain?
What if it's a myth
a fantasy
a folklore told tall ?
A secret, a story to keep hope when it continues to fall?
Humans are made to rely on others, to never hold on their own
With two pieces of a puzzle to continue evolution, to move a tower
to plant a beautiful flower, or other plants to be sown
Is it true that we're made in pairs
yin and yang, opposites always in some sort of constant compare
How is that love, and how is that peace
What if one is to forever sleep?
Prince Charming isn't coming, and a kiss will not wake
those who don't trust the world with their own fate.

Red, blue, green, purple, black, and white
water stained colors across paper
then lifting and pulling and dragging away
spirals. circles. round and round again
clouds against green and blue skies
and stars against soft velvet black
I always wondered what pinned them in place
maybe it's a thread,
wounded tightly by god's hands.
but maybe he pricked his finger on the thorn of the wheel
and fell asleep for a thousand years
these are the spirals, and the splatters of paint
that calms the beating in my chest
of the prisoner stuck in a cell, locked away
redo it, restart it, spiral again
over and over and over til the end
soon i'll build a bridge, held up by the stars
and from then comes the silver strings
tied and knotted and tangled once more
maybe I could untie it but my fingers get caught
and up i'll go
to the seat of the threading, then to the story of the loom
while the god is still behind me
sleeping or not....
maybe I could thread a little longer...
i could wind spirals and spirals
upon lives and lives
and not just in deep red, on paper or stone or skin
but spirals
carved upon the sleeping god's bones

May Contain Triggers

I cut all my hair, everyday
the black slowly drifting to the floor
I poured pink into my life, onto my head
to stain into colors, my vision going purple, black, then red
My once clean room piles up in the corner of my eyes
And I flinched away from the piles and piles of lies
to be ignored and locked away
just for another day
I cried all my tears, so now I sit and stare
And I for once can't somehow care
like I used to, and how I loved
many things, and grew flowers with my hands cupped
I wonder if time will forever stay still
so calm when war goes on, the murders. the kills.
I draw on skin, feeling far away
sitting there with rain dripping down my face
water to wash the blood, down, down, down
If I could hurt for my sins, maybe I'd get what I deserved
little by little,
and they all refuse to know or see it all
and I sit here with my heart starting to hurt
I stand at the edge everyday, below me I watch
the waters turn and churn into a whirlpool I can't stop
The bridge that I stand at is so far up, and I cannot see into the darkness
And reality soon begins to lose it's hardness
not sharp enough, not deep enough, not enough to lose it all
and they all believed they saw
but why did they believe I was worth it?
Even when the candles fell to create fire, but from me they were lit.
I look in the mirror, and see the pieces fall
and it cracks and beyond I hear a small voice call
If i'd made it in time, I would have made it there
But now my world crashes, and the voice disappears
so quiet, so sane, so protective, so safe
But it all still drops away
I listen to music, with the world drowned out
To watch it go by, quietly. Earth's calling in dispair
but nobody will listen
nobody will care.
Sometimes I sing, maybe because I know it will be my last
or maybe my past love I had then is now lost
Because this world goes so so fast,
and I don't know at what cost.
Every night, I sleep on the side of the bed
piles and piles below me,
and pressure and pressure from above
up I stare, and see stars I do not,
I look up at the ceiling with my windows still locked
I wish to be held, but to be never touched
to be called out to, but to me, no one shall talk
it's what I want, but I miss the old traditions
of losing myself in all the equations
I have no time, yet i have the world
though I wish I didn't
everyday I wake up, I'm afraid of the sights,
that I continue to see.
These memories I must keep,
this act I must play,
keep my mouth taped, or sewn shut
Maybe one day the thread will wear off.
But for now the waters fight itself below me,
and I wonder how it'd feel to jump
to take in a breath
and to let it hold me like  I let no one else
or do I still sit here as dawn starts to ring its bells?
We will see
we will see

Would it be such a bad thing to fall just once?
Thoughts flood, and some are screaming loud
Others will be missed, leaving without a sound
Holding your hands up to the sky, to catch the rain as it falls
And for once, I think you'll sit in silence with me.
But you never made the call

Each time I share my words with you, chains tethered onto every sentence unleashed
Held in silence, I can't help but love anything and everything
Life: So precious and beautiful
Like glittering glass on a night of shimmering velvet
Is this unfamiliar thing such a fragile treasure,
so tainted by my hands?

Each moment carries hidden plans,
where potential lies beneath,
and courage finds uncharted lands,
with steady steps and cautious feet.

Shadows dwell where the light retreats,
and brave souls remain vigilant,
as destiny and fortune meet
while fate unwinds it's masterplan.

Through the passing of endless time,
navigating the winds of change,
fueling the inquisitive mind
as blood pumps tirelessly through veins.

The risks taken on this journey,
where mystery meets certainty's shore,
we find our paths by curious light,
as we find what we were searching for.

©️Lizzie Bevis

Why is love both breathtakingly beautiful and heartbreakingly painful? Like a rose in full bloom, its vivid colors dazzle the eyes, and its petals unfold to reveal hidden beauty. Its fragrance can draw in even the most guarded, yet its thorns pierce deeply when mishandled, reaching places where secrets lie. Love is the sweetness of honey on soft, inviting lips, intoxicating and delightful, yet overwhelming if taken without care. It’s a songbird soaring through the sky, its melody gracing the world below, until its wings are clipped, turning songs into sorrowful cries. Love is the ocean, vast and endless, with tides that caress softly before transforming into crashing waves that overwhelm. It’s the gentle kiss of the sun, warming the soul on a cold day, but lingering too long, it burns the unguarded. Like a blazing fire, love burns brightly, illuminating everything around it, but left untended, it can consume all in its path. It’s the joy whispered while gazing into your stormy gray-blue eyes, a joy that gives way to an aching longing that echoes like thunder in its absence. Love, it seems, is a force that creates and destroys with every breath we take. So, hold that glass of wine delicately, savor its sweetness before it turns bitter. Grip it too tightly, and the shards may cut deep. Love is both bitter and sweet, a fleeting perfection that we are destined to encounter, again and again.

all at once, and little by little, i fell in love. for the first time in my life, it didn't feel like something i needed to force or prove. it simply was. is. and thinking about her, us, the simple, the fun, and the delightfully mundane fills my heart to burst in a way that feels like a secure embrace and a soft kiss on my forehead. i love the sound of her voice, her long-winded stories, and her goofy laugh that betrays the surliness she'd sometimes feign to avoid feeling too much, too quickly. i am seen and heard and loved and valued, and it feels so effortless. never in my days did I imagine wanting to cheerlead and love and support someone so fully, to point it inward and treat myself the same. blues and greens and purples and pinks have never been brighter to me, saturated by the richness of each tender brush stroke in our ongoing tapestry. i love being in love and i love the woman that taught me how to eat the sun and let it go before the moon can miss it.