a mouse under a rock
she peers out to see the world
green! blue! white!
a stream, winding down the hillside
a lush forest full of life and breath
clouds that drift overhead
but the shadow of a predator falls
and sends chills down her spine
the mouse retreats.
a mouse under a rock
peeks out once again
sunlight! grass! wind!
the cascading of a falls not too far
a swimming hole, perhaps
surrounded in trees and mud
but the predator is back,
so the mouse hides again.
crossing the line she had drawn in the sand
cussing me out from holding my hand
these rules and lies all she made up
her chalice of fire scorching my cup
rue the day she came to know
the silent demon hid in my soul
pushing memories out of the way
and succumb to a chasm of arid dismay
forget the burning in your *****
forget the cursed mine of coins
forget the lashings from her lips
forget the sinner b'twixt my hips
eyes that sting when open too long
voice that scratches when given song
bodies that itch for cursed delights
heart that relates pleasure and fright
blessed are they that feel the burn
holy is she that ignores the yearn
but what should she get for crossing her thighs?
not honor nor respect, but labor and sighs
'sainthood becomes her,' the elders all say
'so honest! so pure! and see just how fair!'
whilst only yesterday they'd cursed the *****
remanded to outcast; covered no more.
I power down the computer and wait for the processes to shut down
and as I do, I recognize for a moment
the chiming shut-down sound
as the same sound that plays in my head on a loop when I am trying to sleep
when the silent room screams louder than I can hear over
but in my ears it rings out again and again
while I toss and turn
I did not get the same courtesy when I was reset.
Mine was a cold reboot, with no warning or preparation
I had no idea what was about to happen
when he unplugged me from my reality
or messed up my keys.
I only knew when I powered up again the next morning
that something was wrong.
Only then did I realize that my programming had been corrupted.
“Whatever is true,” she said,
“I want better for you.”
What’s true is that I am alone in my fight
The darkness that swallows the light
For whatever is true, dear Mother
Is your baby was hurt by another
What’s true is that I stand alone
Cowering before the Wicked One’s throne
For whatever is true, Father dear
Is your little girl was stolen from here
What’s true is that I’m losing my mind
Every step pushes me further behind
For whatever is true, dear Friend
Is that I am drawing near to my end