After the rain's cold has faded,
Clouds still floating away,
I begin to witness
What blindening tumult
The rain had
Cast and strewn upon me...
Congealing on the surface of my
Glass petals; fresh and thick
Colourful drab paint
Coating the layers of my
Fragile inner self, and I
Could only leave it there
To protect me against weathering
Forgot it was there and I was drowning...
You can only hold your breath for so long
In the warmth of my bed,
In the cold of the rain filled clouds,
I sit in expectation,
Waiting for petals to replace my
Colourfully dripping glass
As I wait
In the night's cold
The echoes of rain long gone
I fall back
And sweet smiles
Evoked by the idiosyncrasies of life,
Whilst my heart
Congeals the idiosyncratic nature of
With my interior.
A concept irrevocable.
In it's amalgamation,
The force of its flux
And in my unsettled ease
Where does that leave me?
No I don't want to speak over lunch
Or dinner for that matter.
These words are too much to span
To span one drink
Too heavy to mesh with
The comfort of food.
You never asked if I wanted to just
Hang one night and discuss these things.
And that's where they all go wrong;
I don't want your pity
I want your empathy
Come back to me
When you can share my energy
I don't want to claw at my scars
Only to be looked at as if I'm still
In my infancy
I want to conserve my energy
We can only store so much will
Let my breath not be wasted
When the time comes,
For if I choose to speak
I speak eye to eye
Entity to entity
And if my judgement of your gaze is wrong -
In that time of supposed synergy -
Know that there is no return for your
Place with me.
I don't want in on this world.
You're already in it so there's no point thinking that way
What is it that has you thinking this way?
The struggles of the world.
People needing to claim victory over others
The exponent of power dominance.
You live in this world
And that's why I want out.
... Love... Even that's a part of it huh
No choice but to continue moving, as you said.
Still working on that.
My position in the world?
You still need to take care of your part in this world
I know, though I don't fully understand how.
I know you got this, but take care
In bringing to light
The darkness that surrounds us,
I understood more about you.
In the things that you do for me and
The way that you treat me.
I had always questioned why you did
What you did;
Was it an act of indebt?
I want your sincerity
Something that I've never really felt deeply...
Thank you for these acts.
I hope that you reach a point of sincerity
So that in the future,
I can understand why I was willing to be
Close by as you
Tread at a distance lightly.
One instance that I do remember that I was closer to feeling a person's sincerity towards me was when I was told that I influenced a person to step out of their bubble. I'm thankful that this person told me even though I don't fully understand how.
I don't want anything to do with this world.
Not now, not ever.
I yearn for eternal slumber;
Too wise for an induced end.
An end just beyond my clutches,
Not long left.
Air ever so heavy,
No light in sight. I've
Given up on reaching out and
What use is it to
Only to fall deeper?
Eve strikes as I
Lean my head against the wall
Undermined by the tar, gently bubbling,
Doubling in my heart.
Eating at my consciousness,
Slowly encompassing my eyes.
When will it strike this year... If it chooses to strike at all...
My journey towards content
Above and below
The surface of my sanity.
With the tide
In and out
Where I belong
Is a foreign feeling,
Its happiness short lasted.
Is it better to be freezing
Or is it better to melt and trust
That I will rise.
I give the illusion of successful equilibrity
Spheres of air escape me