I like you.
A lot.
Like, really a lot.
Like, when I look at you, I get
Tiny purple butterflies in my stomach,
And when you smile I smile too.
I'm acting like I'm in grade school,
Trying to sit next to you so I can
Surreptitiously lean against your shoulder,
Secretly hoping you'll notice me and
Maybe, just maybe,
Think of me as more than a friend.
I know I'm being rather obvious
But my heart refuses to sleep quietly,
Preferring instead to conjure up 1 AM dreams
Of your soft curves and loud laughter.
You know, my friends told me to act
When the time was right -
Well, I'm a terrible judge of timing,
I'm always too clumsy
I stumble over half-hopes and emotions.
I can only hope for you to see all the mess in my heart
You probably (I hope) know all this;
I've been told I'm an open book.

I'm not perfect, I know that,
But I wish I didn't feel like a
Leftover,
Trash,
Tossed aside because my hips are too wide
And my stomach is soft and rounded, not flat.
I'm not perfect, I know that,
But I wish I didn't feel
Awkward,
Stupid,
Stammering because I'm in love,
And my day is made with her smile, not anything else.
I'm not perfect, I know that,
But I wish I didn't feel like a
Freak,
***,
Whispered about because my heart has fallen hard
And it's for a pretty girl with glasses, not a football player.

Cutting the rug through the floor
Feel like compensating for being such a bore
bumping elbows with every neighbor
amazed with your own crazed flavor as they walk out the door
Not sure whether this state is a misguided call for help
or a benign release from social duress for my health
I think past the first 10 minutes I start to put the attentive on edge
The sad part is how bored I feel about the whole thing deep down.
Like I'm trying to thread a needle with a rope, or pierce through a
veil that hasn't opened to my hammering 1000 times before.

Seagull on rotting planks, bouy bells ding to fog and driftwood.
A culling fire exploits the docking shire.
Filled with chlorine shards, legs caught in the clap-traps.
Friar palms glisten,
Rage responds with frisson.
Clear view over water.
Feel your arms relax and slip onto your back while the culling fire attacks.
Bulbous deadening brain chimes
As the eyes slide down to your omission crimes.
Leave me alone in my despondent company.
Don't push the matter further let communication fail to nurture.
A warm breeze carries me
like a floating portrait towards unreal scented meats.
I'm here now, alone in the corner,
The greatest intimacy with the static patterns on the carpeted flooring. The king of this corner is the odor of plank seating and flowery detergent in this lonely corridor fluorescent light-bulb poles and old grain floorboards.
Now the returning shards of panic to uncelibate strangers drive me up, far, deep in my own ribcage to something wholly non-organic.
Time to clock-in, time to check out.

we only ever meet
in the mornings and
afternoons of schooldays

in the time we are apart
I think of a million
things to say

but the moment we meet
my mind goes blank,
words are lost,
I have no idea what to say

I walk awkwardly with you
not speaking a word until
you talk first

it ***** because
there are so many things
I want to say to you.

She bothers me,
I don't know why.
But I know i'm the reason,
For the tears she will cry.
But that's not it.
Its the possibility,
That I could of been her,
So easily.

- And....

I don't know why
he feels this way.
Im sorry for you,
What else can I say!
Im sorry his love,
Is invested in me?
Im sorry that this time,
Its working out for me?
So i'll love him with pride,
But also with shame.
With all the brokenhearted ,
Im the one they blame.
So when your with him,
I won't be present
Not because you are "winning",
Because i feel your resentment.
So look at the picture,
See it my way.
He likes me still,
And you see him everyday.
So don't be angry,
Step back in line.
It will work out for you,
But this is my time.

You shut your eye lids and are transported into a different world, like flipping a switch, pulling a lever. Hours will pass by in my realm, but to you, galaxies swarm behind closed windows. To you, it will be moments before you awake again, if your slumber is dreamless.

If you dream I hope you dream of a world far away from here, but I hope you bring me along. And we can dance on the rings of Saturn, fly through Jupiter's core, and drink the sweet nectar of the Milky Way. Because when I am with you I hold my universe in my arms. I might never explore all of you, for you are vast, deep, complex. But I hope I can do more than scrap the surface. I hope I can dive into you and get lost in the Andromeda galaxy and loop around Orion's belt. I hope I can become so tangled that I cannot tell where you start and I begin unless I pay close attention. But I have ADD so expect me to wander.

Baby, while you sleep and galaxies pass behind your eyes I hope I can watch and fall into time with the rise and fall of your lungs and the drum of your heart. I hope we synchronize into our own awkward rhythmic beat like none other. To fall asleep to the music of your snores, subtle whispers that leak from your mouth, and the twitches your body will make life sublime.

While you are in a different world I will be right here, awaiting for your return to Earth.

At night your copper dreams fade into bright moon lit tears and I can see my reflection in the midnight glow. Your soul reflects out and it is impossible for me not to shed my own tears. I promised to kiss every drop that leaves your eyes and I will keep to it, even when your consciousness lies somewhere else, in a different realm. I hope you will let me join.