Uh oh, I feel it
It's coming again
One more unwanted visit
From my longtime friend
There's no notice given
As he barges right in
And no length to his stay
Don't know when it will end

He takes over my space
As if it's always been
Just his place and not mine
Who's the one paying rent?
Feel my presence erased
Put on hold and suspend
Don't confront; Do not face
Feel I can not defend

Everyday forced to face
Sadly, what could have been
Feeling lost and disgraced
I'm imprisoned again
In this bottomless pit
Where reality bends
Won't give up; Will not quit
Digging out with a pen

Beg for mercy and pleas
In these notes that I send
Penned emotionally
On my life it depends
Don't just look; Need to see
The real trouble I'm in
My words quietly scream
Fight alone I can't win

Someone please just help me
A spare hand you can lend
Don't need much to be free
Very little you'll spend
But without it I'll bleed
Boxer who can't contend
I'm struck down in defeat
Ref has counted to ten

Not how it has to be
Room is starting to spin
Get me up on my feet
Reset this bowling pin
Knock me flat in the street  
Won't sit still like a hen
Punching bag that you beat
Think I'm yours; That is when

Rising up suddenly
Spirit back on the mend
You're the one looking weak
Everything is pretend
Cleaning house; Need to sweep
From this filth I've been cleansed
Helped in my time of need
Thankfully by my friends

Days ahead bright for me
My life here want to spend
But can't get too comfy
He will strike; Don't know when
Out my eye hole I peep
Could return once again
Promising not to leave
Me and my longtime friend

Ants along the stone
Up and down on strings they go
Will they ever know?

They are spearheads
The trees, stewsters in the Grey
On Somber window.

cat-eyed passion
lurking in the tall grass
all ears for years
but I knew...
Caught a whiff
early on
and she still stayed hidden
teasing and teasing
looking for the right time
such alien patience
and dedication
equal only to madness

I walked along the sea in bold steps
by the sea I walked and did not stop
as if my heart was not beating
as if my heart did not move
and no matter how people do not bother me
I walked along the sea in bold steps

but the days were flying like birds
like trees in spring and autumn in summer
like the snow outside the window like a blizzard
as if every day and every night
but the days of flying flew away
but the dream took root in me

30.07.18