I want to do
nothing but good.

But when doing it
for me,

There is guilt in
being selfish.

Take me to a land,
where memories never fade,
moments last forever,
summers never end,
where happiness isn't a choice
and sadness ceases to exist.

Take me back to a time,
when everything was perfect,
you and I made much sense,
when silent kisses were a bliss,
and love was at the top of my priority list.

Between all the could-haves and would-haves,
here I stand empty.

Anger, sadness, fear,
All blend together perfectly.
It becomes hard to bear,
The life laid out in front
of them.
  Scary what the mind,
Can give a character to when
Confronting the darkest parts of
your soul.
  You breed in flesh and blood.
A mere thought becomes
a face of a person who
Has a story to tell.
The grief from the painter,
Makes it easy to sell.

a gray fury moves, racing beneath a solid blue sky; the purest white is pasted against the endless sea above us, and it is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.

a mess of foreboding destruction passes, racing beneath a perfect painting, and it is every piece together; the gray and blue combining, the meeting of dark and light, the rain and sun mingling, that makes me want to cry.

will we be this beautiful when we collide?

i. smile. smile like you are dying, breathing your last breath, like the irony of your pathetic life is the funniest thing in the whole **** world. smile like you're crazy, like you're on a high that doesn't end, a high that you almost wish would. smile like you love the hurt.

ii. put your hands anywhere but your face. wave them in the air, touch another person's skin, run them through your hair. throw your shoulders back, open your mouth and don't you dare wipe your eyes. don't touch the spot on your forehead, don't rub your nose; pretend you are confident in yourself, for once.

iii. walk like you aren't bleeding. walk like there is no glass beneath you, like the knife in your back is a flower blooming. walk like you are moving mountains, like you are causing earthquakes and hurricanes. walk like you are more than something.

the glass is half empty
my mind is too full
negativity is all that tempts me
with its downward pull

with broken feathers
i fall from the sky
when it's always cloudy weather
hope is sure to die

once i was lost
broken and dying
now i can be found
fearlessly flying

I'm a saint of the vapor
that's my God-given nature
I'm only here for a season
with my heart, pen, and paper