I'm a force to be reckoned with,
And I don't recommend crossing me
the wrong way.
I've been holding in this fire for years,
So I don't set fire to the world around me.
I don't know how much longer I can hold it in.
I don't want to be known
as the criminal in this town.
The ones who provoke
never get punished.
It's the ones who are pushed
over the edge that
always get blamed and
imprisoned for others actions.
Fools always rush in
where angels are afraid to tread.
Just don't take it with a grain of salt.
We're all hanging on by an invisible thread.
The innocents cannot be unpunished,
If you beat them down until they are as good as dead.
He unbolted the locks
and untied my restraints,
which left painful bruises
and permanent marks.
I could barely gather up
the strength to stand up
and make it to the door.
Then when I tried my
legs gave out and I fell
right on to the floor.
As weak as a lamb
that can't hold the
weight of it's own wool.
He told me the shackles
I've worn were years ago
There is a new pair
somewhere that I must fit into.
I listened because being in
a cage was all I ever knew.
These earthquakes come and go.
Awakening the anger within.
I drank the poison from the fire of your lies.
It burnt, but I kept drinking.
Because it's all I've ever known.
Your color turned gray.
I struggle to the surface,
with an anchor the size of my guilt,
pulling me under the entire way up.
So full of life we once were.
When your heart was in the right place.
Or so you made me believe.
Sister and mother despair
Building castles in Spain.
They take the threshold.
May their glory reign.
They disappear for awhile
strolling down memory lane.
And returned only with
their decaying growing pains.
One gave birth to the fire.
The other the Descendant of flames.
Beneath us lies the truth.
On that silver platter of yours,
gold turned to ashes.
Lower than dirt.
I used to see you as my savior,
Until you took my lords name in vain.
A crippling heaviness,
enters the room.
I break out in a cold sweat.
The dolls on the stand,
are securely locked in their case.
Their sad eyes watch as he
inches closure and silent screams
fill the space.
He whispers violent things
and spits in my face.
I succumb to his lingering words,
as I forget how to breathe.
I lost my voice.
It know belongs to him.
Anger, sadness, fear,
All blend together perfectly.
It becomes hard to bear,
The life laid out in front
Scary what the mind,
Can give a character to when
Confronting the darkest parts of
You breed in flesh and blood.
A mere thought becomes
a face of a person who
Has a story to tell.
The grief from the painter,
Makes it easy to sell.
Founded an army in my head,
In order to justify that sometimes,
Things are better left unsaid.
This life sentence,
Makes me think I'd be better off dead.
But I must remember to think bigger than myself.
I don't want my army to suffer along with me.
I must fight beside them,
Just as they fight beside me.
There is no failure, when there is still hope.
I've built up my tolerance, grown thicker skin.
I greet tomorrow with a new hope.
Things are getting out of hand.
Peace is no where to be found. I'm tired of contemplating,
And trying to understand, what can't be comprehended.
My sanity fell into a haystack full of needles.
In order to reclaim it, I will have to bleed.
There are no easy answers. Yet answers are what I need.
How can I make amends, when I still don't understand
who I'm supposed to be?
My story is a difficult one to tell.
Especially when it comes to telling it well, from start to finish.
I need to remove myself from this diseased prison cell.
Then maybe I will find the redemption I long for,
a miracle to lift this evil spell.
I will be reborn from the ashes of my old self,
And rise above this cursed hell.