If someone told me
That I was the most insecure human in the world
Id believe them in a heartbeat

I laugh in an attempt to pretend
To paint away my true feelings like art
Its as though my laughter is a vault
Locked shut
And it takes the right code
For someone to let what I truely feel
Out

Born with the legs of a baby deer
I sprung to my feet,
Running not from a wolf, not from a bear,
But from a young women
Who raised children with fear

I dived into the room
The one with purple walls,
closed curtains and a box full of dolls

Swallowed by the dark
I was an appetiser
For the shadows yet to come

Looming over the bed frame
Her voice distorted
Her body stretched

In a second, she switched from
A mother to a monster
One with miserable, red eyes

Wrap your arms around me
Let’s trade you say
A thousand kisses
For a thousand burns

Let’s dance you say
Instead I bow
I flail, fall and pray
Please, please, oh please

Wake up.
The flames no longer tickle
You no longer want to dance or play
The burns singe my skin, dark and brittle

Check mate.
It’s over.
You’ve won.
You always do.

I never wanted to hurt you.
I’m.
So.
Sorry.

"Why get thinner when you can get more dinner"

I know its wrong but I'm so much better now that I'm talking to you.

The soft glow of a lamp
Carved from the earth
Reminds me
Of the warmth
You used to show me

From your tight, loving hugs
That whispered
Stay here
You’re safe here

To your light forehead kisses
That sung
I love you
I care about you

I am now
Left cold
Reaching for a head that is not there

I am now
Left with a lamp
A reminder of you

My wrists are limp.
Pearlescent and painful,
Imprints of rope have been
Tattooed into my skin.

I’m not one to let go.
Frantic and hopeless,
I’m a clinger.

To be seen and heard,
It’s what I deserve.

But I don’t notice.
I don’t believe I’m seen.
I don’t believe I’m heard.

So I hold on,
Hoping.
That all while I saw at the rope,
You will mend it back together.

But you’re tired,
I can see that.
I’ve seen it for a while.

I wanted to stop sawing.
I needed to let go.
I’m sorry.

Now,
You’ve cut the rope fully.
I can finally fall,
Free.