The day I stopped loving you
Was the day I breathed again....

Numbness is all I feel
When I watched you slip away

For the first time
I cannot hold you and protect you
And make you feel safe

Even though you are gone
My love for you
Will last for eternity

I never knew
Having a heartbeat
Could make me feel guilty
Until you lost yours

Sticking up for yourself
Does not make you mean or rude

It just shows that you have been through
Pain

Therefore, don’t call me mean or rude
I just decided to stick up for myself
When everyone else wanted to watch me
Drown

The tiniest little feet
Run to me on Christmas Day
A big red bow on her head
Ready to come and stay

We play all day
And snuggle all night
My love for you
Grows at great height

I’ve watched you grow
And you with me
I was given to
The best family

Though now I am tired
And as sad as you are
You must now know now
I won’t ever be far

I will watch you from up here
Free and out of pain
I’m looking forward to the day
We will meet again

You have shown me great love
I shall wait for you forever
And when your time has come
We will cross the Rainbow Bridge together

I envy to understand how some people can cry
Be happy
Or even mad
But instead, the only thing I feel is nothing from the numbness in my heart

Society and people say
Losing someone you love
Is the worst pain

Well
From my experience
Hating yourself and feeling lost
Is a whole new type of torture

Maybe
Just maybe
I’ll be pretty enough for you to post
One day

But for now,
I’m fine being a shadow in the dark
If it’s meant to keep you

My favorite canvas to paint on is myself
And my favorite color to use is red

She lights up the night
Silver rays shine down
Her glowing essence reflecting  the ground  

She spins and she twirls
Feeling free in the world

Nobody can touch her
Her spirit is free

She looks at me and says
"Come to the moon with me"

For the first time
In a long time
I don’t feel at home
And I am truly lost....

For there are no words
That can describe you

You love so deep
And so pure

You make things so simple
Yet so beautifully complicated

But....

Behind your shine  is a world full of dark

Long nights of you crying
Longing for a purpose

But, even though your broken
and cracked
The light still shines through the pain
From your beautiful soul

Some people want change
Others want to be the change
While you just destroy

What I learned in life
Is that sometimes pain
Is the only way I know I am alive

A heart so pure
That helps another
Although I when I need someone
My screams aren’t heard

Trying to fix others heartache
Even though my heart is breaking

Why when it feels I am on the brink
Its as if others want to watch me sink

It hurts
I know

The times when it feels like your whole body is shattered
Or the times you feel like you can’t breathe

Sit back and remember your worth
And rise higher than you ever did before

We have a bond
You feed me energy
When at my lowest

You’re someone whom
I speak to when I need
Someone

We are connected
In a beautiful pattern
And together

You and I
Shine brighter than the sun

Set me free
Of which these chains
In which my mind entraps

A mental illness does not define who you are
But it is apart of you

The days when you feel like it will finally be okay
Darkness sneaks back in and takes your wrist in a chain

Not all people feel this pain of feeling different
But maybe that’s what makes someone
beautiful

Because sometimes the darkest and scariest minds
Can be the most beautiful places to get lost in

There goes my hope
Slipping out of my fingers
And into your grasp

Your grasp around my neck
Unable to breathe from your lies
You knew how to make me feel warm
But other times so cold

Maybe its my fault I thought you could change
But hey, I guess we all struggle
To breathe more than others some days

On the nights where you come visit
And bring in the sadness

I don’t want to think
That I converted to madness

No tears can escape to roll down my cheek
Because then you would call me weak

I need to hide the feelings I have
An invisible mask that’s breaking in half

I don’t know how much longer I can hide
The pain I feel deeply inside

To cut away my faults
Would be my greatest pleasure

Sometimes pain and hurt
Can make use feel alive the most

Sometimes our worst days
Can turn our next days into the best

Sometimes hurting does more healing
Than the thought of feeling whole again

Could I be here because I have purpose?
Or will my life have little to no meaning

Will no one remember me when I’m gone?
To the point when I’m just a faint memory

Will I be missed?
Or will I be forgotten without a second thought

As we get older
We forget when we were young

Playing pirates or house with siblings and friends become a distinct memory

We forget to remember the simple times
Like when we didn’t want to have a bed time or go to school

Now watching my family getting older
I wish I could have gone back to when I was younger

To ignite the fire in me that I use to have so long ago