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Jane May 2015
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We might as well be.
We might as well exist together.
Mailboy
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Jane Aug 2016
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To truly know whether you love someone,
It's to lose them.
:)
Jane Aug 2015
:)
Thanks to you now all I can do is fake a smile.
.
Jane May 2015
.
We can all be addicted to some kind of sadness,
mine just so happens to be you.
To him,
Jane Oct 2015
I can see through your walls that you're hurting,
But I can't tell you I'm the reason you're breaking,
I'm sorry I put you in agony,
Putting you through tragedy,
Maybe some day when I see you again,
I would promise to explain,
Something you would never comprehend,
Or maybe we could just play pretend,
About how we were once in love,
Til next time when I see you from above.
I'm,
sorry
Jane Aug 2015
I'm aware I have a problem,
No it isn't boredom,
I think I've fallen,
All the way to the bottom.
My heart has soften,
You took it, now it's stolen,
Sometimes I've forgotten,
You're not mine, so often.
I've lost my reason,
To be an opened curtain,
I guess I'm drown in your potion,
I would never be the one chosen.
My fragile heart is broken,
I miss "our" moment,
Tonight I'll be taken,
Away into the deep ocean.
sigh
Jane Apr 2015
Yes I understand, my heart,
is your helping hand, to seek,
love like a rubber band, no dare,
with a witness stand.

Treasure my darling leisure,
For see my souls and pleasure,
Dare I speak your measures,
Through this painful pressure.  

But no you foolish imbecile,
Bringing me to medical,
With your pity chemical,
Your words are unforgivable.

Now with your broken machine,
Say hello to gasoline,
Burning in extreme,
I see tangerine.
Goodnight my love, in your deep slumber
Jane Jun 2015
Sometimes you please me with smiles,
But sometimes you leave me alone in piles.

Sometimes you talk about us walking down the aisle,
But sometimes you just run away with my heart far in miles.

But I know, you would always be worth the while.

Yesterday
You told me my love was not enough,
And you said you would be giving up.

Today
You told me you were afraid of losing me,
That I'm the only one your eyes will ever see.

Tomorrow
Would you tell me that you love me?
Or would you do the same and disagree?
You make me go insane,
But you're all I've been thinking.
Jane Oct 2015
Your face was fresh and exuberated new,
Your voice as pure as morning dew,
Holding your hand with our fingers intwine,
Feeling a knot with beautiful sinew.
Just like his eyes
Jane Sep 2015
People say when guys get jealous, it's cute.

But why is that, he ignores me,
He looks away from me cruelly,
He talks with sarcasm rudely,
He lets out a painful chuckle coldly,
When is he going to stop, I'm lonely.
I'm sorry I wronged you
Jane Jun 2015
This is how I am to the world,
So quiet and unheard,
When I speak, no one listens,
This is why I have an addiction.
An addiction that keeps me safe,
An addiction for my own sake.
It keeps me calm and warm,
Without exposing to any harm.
It taught me to never speak my mind,
And to be the one left behind.
With the ones who screams and cries,
And they taught me how to lie.
This is who I have become,
So broken and so numb.
Do not try to save me,
You would only find my debris.
I have learnt to conceal my thoughts and feelings, because no one really cares. No one would ever notice your pain, no one would help you. Because I am worthless, I am nothing.
Jane May 2015
Could you pass me those cigarettes,
So I can smoke this pain away,
My death is seen well preset,
There should be no delay.

Drown my thoughts with your flame,
I think I'm the one to blame,
To you I brought upon shame,
And this was just a little game.

Cut my bleeding heart in two,
Your name written on it like tattoo,
We feels like a long lost deja vu,
And now my lungs are imbue.

All of these calm waves tonight,
I'd tell myself it'll be alright,
All I'll have to do is close my eyes,
And bid the world goodbye.
I prefer drugs over you
Jane Jun 2016
The lack of insanity in love is abnormal.
Jane May 2015
There's a demon living in me,
It takes none to make it flee.
So all I can do is to be,
The Demon inside me.
Jane Apr 2015
Love* & Hate
Novels & Poems
High & Low
Broken & Scarred
Pain & Agony
Away

It wasn't just them;
It was also us,
It wasn't just love;
It was hate.

Oblivious into your trance,
I crave for your indulgence.
Seek for me, I shall be waiting.
Jane Jul 2015
I may be acting, I may be smiling,

*But you have no idea what's killing me inside.
I've learned to put a fake smile on :)
Jane Jun 2015
I don't just want a one time date,
I don't only want a perk on your lips,
I don't just want a formal dance,
I don't only want a warm bear hug,
Nor a walk down the gardens,
Nor a one nighter.

I want someone to hold in my arms,
I want someone who makes me lose control,
Someone who would embrace my imperfections,
I know it's hard and tricky,
But I just want someone to keep.
To him,
My midnight dreamer, my only thoughts, my favourite heartbreaker.
Jane Apr 2015
It's been a long way,
From where we begin,
So stay for a ride,
Through this last tide.

It's been pain and sweat,
But never regret,
Has been days of threat,
Now it's all set.

It's been a long ride,
For you now my friend,
I would tell you all about it,
When I see you again.

It's been a few years,
Without you my friend,
Come back to home land,
This is not the end.

It's been history,
No more cavalry,
You will be in memory,
You are always family.
For Paul
Rest in peace, for all that we miss.
Jane Apr 2015
It was never my decision to fall for you,
It was nothing I planned ahead of.

Before you take my heart,
Here's some things you should know:
I'm fragile,
My self-esteem is low,
I'm stubborn,
I've got no confidence,
I'm shy,
I don't like speaking my mind,
I'm weak,
I cry over little things,
I'm afraid,
I've been hurt before,
I'm broken,
People don't notice me often.

But.

I found hope when I saw you,
My deadline was subdue,
I was about to get through,
When you were my only view.
To him,
Jane Sep 2015
The sinking feeling is back again,
Just this time it's twice the pain,
When today I heard "he has a girlfriend now",
Just yesterday you were telling me how,
How much you were missing me,
I thought we were meant to be,
But now everything has disappear,
Once when I saw it so clear,
I think it's time for me to pick up the pieces,
Of all our left over memories.
It's time...
Him
Jane May 2015
Him
Those eyes so mesmerizing,
Deep brown core so paralyzing,
Those lips look breathtaking,
My nerves shoot electrifying.

Arms high looking hot veins,
A body like making you insane,
Two times hotter than butane,
Nothing with him is plain.

His voice raspy and deep,
His smirk with so sweet,
Strumming guitar like heat,
An image you won't delete.
For him,
Jane May 2015
Sometimes I wonder,
The times we would've been together.

I picture you and I,
On Sundays by the beach in the cold weather.

I imagine us,
Stargazing at night with me in your arms tighter.


But I waited and waited.
Every inch of every hour,
On steps to your front door,
In portraits I drew of you,
On benches we sat in parks,
At classes we used to have,
Through wretchedly rainy days,
Under my blankets late at night,
In my sleepless nights of dreams,
Right to the places you've sang to me,
Left to the days you were still with me.


But you left.
You were gone.
You were never coming back.
Because I watch you lay there,
With your hands so still,
buried underground.
To death
Jane Apr 2015
It kills when we don't talk,
It kills when you ignore me,
It kills when you're busy with your life,
It kills.

It kills when you don't understand,
It kills when you put me in pain,
It kills when you don't care,
It kills me.

It kills when you walk away,
It kills when you forget about us,
It kills when you push me aside,
It kills.

It kills when you don't listen,
It kills when you're not here,
It kills when you smile at her,
It kills me.


**You've killed me.
Thanks to you :)
Jane Jul 2015
Should've known we wouldn't last,
Why did I even tried so hard,
But I know I still love you,
I'm sorry I can't be the one.
Jane Jan 2016
And today I lost a friend,
It's a fact I can't comprehend.
But you're a person I can no longer depend,
And this is how it ends.
Jane Apr 2015
Her nights were sleepless,
Her eye bags were deeper,
Her nightmares were formidable,
Her soul was gone.*

Her blade was sharper,
Her voice was silence,
Her weight was lighter,
Her sleeves were long.


Her cries were painful,
Her tears were feelings,
Her hands were scarred,
Her heart was tormented.


*Her face was sunken,
Her eyes were dried,
Her lips were blistered,
Herself was lost.
Thanks to those who were gone;
Jane Apr 2015
He loves me;
He loves me not,
I love him;
He loves me not.

I fought, he didn't,
I chased, he didn't,
I cried, he didn't,
I plead, he didn't.

I saw the sparks in his eyes,
I saw the way he looked, at her.
I watched his movement,
I watched him kissed her.

I wrote a thousand words,
I sang a thousand songs,
I shipped a thousand feelings,
I watched them sink.

And now,
He loves me,
I love him not.
Thank you, my darling
Jane Sep 2015
I can stand him,
                    Not loving me.
I can't stand him,
              Loving her.
LL
Jane Jun 2015
It's silly how I'm missing you like crazy,
When you're not even thinking about me.


It's funny how I would jump off a cliff just to save you,
But you wouldn't even look my way.


It's pathetic how I would be there for you,
Even when you don't know my existence.


It's so absurd that I would even love you,
That I would travel miles just for you,
Give up the things I love for you,
Swim the whole Pacific ocean for you,
But you will never notice me,
You would never call me,
You will never love me back.
And that's how ignorant I am,
How naive, obtuse, vacuous of me,
To have loved you, and still,
Loving you.
Jokes on me now :)
Jane Apr 2015
Once upon a time,
Where we collide,
In our hideous life,
I found the light.

With you by my side,
My tears are dried,
With you as a guide,
I feel alive.

You bring me joy,
You understand my enjoy,
You sometimes annoy,
But now you're my boy.

Thank you I say,
But this is cliché,
Deep down I pray,
Always you'll stay.
Thank you for meeting me,
Thank you for understanding me,
Thank you for being with me,
Thank you for loving me.
Jane Oct 2015
You're like snow,*
beautiful but *cold.
Maybe,
we could be
Jane Jul 2015
Maybe it's time to let you go,
Even in winter when it snows,
Our memories fading slow,
Just like those late night tv shows.

I never knew us would come to an end,
Thanks for being a special friend,
I wouldn't lie, I enjoyed the time we spent,
We will never again comprehend.
To him,
Jane May 2015
Is this how it's gonna be, jealousy?
Do you still think there is between us, chemistry?
Would you save me from this crazy, empathy?
Because my mind keeps haunting me, endlessly.

Why do I keep thinking about you, hopelessly?
Is it your bold brown eyes', specialty?
Or is it your lips taking me, breathlessly?
Because I keep falling for you so, carelessly.

Why do you hold such an, authority?
In my heart are you my death, penalty?
Why does your love holds so much, density?
Sometimes I wish for all, clarity.

Is my mind begging for, serenity?
Does your heart beat for me too, tremendously?
Can I wipe out our times and, memories?
Because darling I've loved you so, shamelessly.
One day I'll show you my scars.
Jane Jul 2015
Why is everything so depressing,
Can't you see my heart is aching,
You're the broken piece I'm missing,
Come back you're my only blessing.

Do you remember last thanksgiving,
When we were on the rooftop listening,
To our favourite song playing,
That was simply wonderful and amazing.

Can't you see I'm fake smiling,
Why did you have to leave me with nothing,
Trust me I would never stop loving,
The way you smile, so charming.

You said you'll never leave me alone, were you lying?
Because my heart is bitterly hurting,
When you said goodbye it was heartbreaking,
Where are you now? I'll always be waiting.
I will wait, and wait, and wait,
for you to return to my embrace.
Jane May 2015
Insanity is what she is,
Clarity is what she please,
Mortality is what she sees,
Voracity is something she ease.

Mendacity is what she speaks,
Tactfully is something she weaks,
Alchemy was never in her clique,
There kicks in her cavity.

Calumny writes above her head,
Casualty says around her dead,
Pageantry living on her bed,
Banditry was what she hid.

Centrality was all she craved,
Depravity waited for her traced,
Fatality made her braced,
Gallantly now she fazed.
For fun lol
Jane Aug 2016
I shut my eyes to block them out,
But their screams howl so ******* loud,
My nights turn sleepless,
My heart yearns sweetness,
Empty souls overdose,
Verities exposed.
Take me with you.
Jane May 2015
I could write a billion words about you,
But what does it take to make us two?
Come back,
I've been missing you.
Jane Oct 2015
The struggles I face every day,
All I could see is dark grey,
The pain of not being able to write,
My papers are still blank white,
No one understands this distress,
A feeling I can't confess,
Pens and papers are enemies,
But we shared so much memories,
Maybe it's time to burn,
And to never return.
Sue
Jane Aug 2015
Sue
Sometimes I wonder why am I so in love with you,
You're not like the other guys, you don't make time for me.

You often make me lose my sanity, and I go real mad,
And that makes me wonder, what do I see in you.

You're so different, something so foreign and fragile,
A little push our relationship is on a danger line again.

And you just make me wonder and wonder, what do I see in you,
It isn't your pouty face I've fallen for, nor is it your charming looks.

You make me go numb with just how you lock our eyes together,
The way you can just control me without a single touch.

You're my weakness and that's for sure, no lying,
But do you feel the same way, that's the question.

You agitate and irritate me so much, I guess it's love,
You're not a keeper, but you're my keeper.
You're so confusing,
So hard to understand,
I guess that's what make me crave for more.
Jane Jul 2022
sometimes, we have to let go of the nice guy, for the right guy.
Jane Apr 2015
Times I've craved for this moment,
Till I'm all broken,
Apart from my body who's spoken,
I want this enjoyment.

So stay tonight just to restore,
Towards the door,
Upon this you can explore,
Ending up with more.

Your hands are in my hair,
And it's so unfair,
I watch you as your eyes stare,
And lust is in the air.

Now we're doing it all again,
This time with chains,
We could go straight to fast lane,
So this can maintain.

Your bare skin under mine,
As the clock ticks nine,
We could go one more time,
This is too divine.
For you ;)
Jokes
Jane Apr 2015
High off his love,
drunk from his hate.
Us
Jane May 2015
Us
"I can't believe you did that...." I said.

This isn't your typical love story, this is what happens when you love, in reality.

I never regretted being with you,
Because each time when I'm with you,
I would feel so lucky and brand new,
And I just want to speak the truth,
I remember that night with you,
Under your warm arms too.

"Remember the time we met on the island?"

I saw through your eyes right then,
Looking so vulnerable and,
Do you remember when,
You look so weak with tiredness in them,
Back when we were just friends.

"Now remember when we went to MAC together?"

We used to yell at each other day and night,
You would throw sarcastic comments to prove yourself right,
But with my parents you act polite,
And later on we'll get back in a fight.

"I never told you I loved you, never had, never will."

Those were your exact words,
Those that led me towards,
Tears were in my eyes blurs,
And now I knew what you were,
Then I knew what you preferred.

"I'm sorry I loved you, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you to stay"*

You left me all alone,
You left for the flight,
You were long gone,
You didn't want a relationship,
You didn't want a long distanced one,
And because you didn't,
I'm here begging for your presence,
Begging for you to come back,
But you left,
you just left.
I hope you come back, I hope you'll come back to me.
Jane May 2015
I wish you could get out of my head,
Because at night when it gets late,
My mind starts to inane,
My face goes full red.
Sometimes I go insane,
Thinking if we'll talk again,
To be honest I'm drained,
And I need you to explain.
I would love to complain,
About this cruel pain,
But I'm tied in a chain,
Not allowed to refrain.
I write these for my sake,
To take away this ache,
So I could start and fake,
Just when I'm about to *break.
You're the person I think of before I go to sleep.
Jane Apr 2015
BREAKING THE SWEAT,
THERES NO REGRET,
MAKING A BET,
A JAWLINE THAT CRACKS.

EXTRA WITH THE HEAT,
NO ONE CAN BEAT,
STRAIGHT TO THE FEET,
WELCOME TO MAIN STREET.

NOW OFF TO REPEAT,
HE WOULD COMPLETE,
OFF WITH A KICK,
SO JUST TAKE A SEAT.

JANE IS A FEAT,
STRAIGHT FROM THE CREEK,
BRIGHTER THAN A GEEK,
BREAKEVEN TREAT.

WHAT A FEAT,
NOT EVEN I- COULD EAT,
MANY COULD PEEK,
BUT NONE COULD KEEP.
Just for fun :) from and for a friend
Jane May 2015
Do you see the smiles,
That my lip styles,
Just because of you, well,
You're worth the while.

When you walk by,
In that suit and tie,
With your brown eyes,
Filled with surprise.

Flirtatious are your words,
I'll say you're a nerd,
Or so I've been heard,
All it takes is three words.

Being in your arms,
Deep in your charms,
Lingering in your smell,
You put me under spell.

But reality pours in,
Intruding our grins,
Our time running thin,
Soon enough a sin.
For him,
You
Jane Jun 2015
You
Nights like this when I'm left alone,
Constantly staring at my phone,
Waiting for your name to be shown,
Are you avoiding me again? please don't.
I know you're not this heartless,
You're the first that made me felt wanted,
Are you taking me for granted,
Because I'm so sick and exhausted.
What did I do wrong this time,
I hope everything is fine,
Remember how our fingers intertwine,
And how I could call you mine.
Jane Aug 2015
We're like two planets
That never meets
Separated by stars and galaxies
Across the ample universe
How intimidate and leaden
We're both too different
Maybe that's why we never ended up together

— The End —