there were words I couldn't speak,

words I couldn't see,

feelings I couldn't find,

feelings I couldn't hide.

The day you said you loved me,
the day you walked away,
the day you said I'd come to find
no one else could make me feel this way.

I believed every word you said.
I believed you now and I believed you then.
The difference between us, is you still left.

I stayed, for two years
and when you finally said you loved me
I saw all my dreams becoming true.

Then I saw her. She just showed up.
The only person besides me you kept in your life.
So for months I let the torment work its way through my body
until I was simply rotting.

Every time I tried to explain the hurt that bounced around inside
all I managed to do was start a fight.
But I loved you, and I love you,
and I tried my very best,
until one day my insides tore, and I was now an external mess.
As my insides poured out into all the wrong places,
I felt the burning sting of pain beneath my sleeve.
The wounds reopened, as I was closing.
My arms were cut to bleed.

All your lies and all your pain
following dreams you'll only break
on this road for way too long

But when it's said and done
there really was no way we could have won
the cracked glass shatters to the floor
reminding me that life always gives a cure

All you know is home
with a heart that doesn't want to be alone
with a heart that doesn't want to lose it's song

But when it's said and done
there really was no way we could have won
the cracked glass shatters to the floor
reminding me that life always gives a cure

And I know you had to go
Had to get yourself back home

But when it's said and done
there really was no way we could have won
the cracked glass shatters to the floor
reminding me that life always gives a cure

It's here again.
panic panic panic panic

Each breath a stab in the lungs,
making me feel breathless.

My heart pumping, thumping, pumping.
Blood rushing through the veins faster than before,
chasing the adrenaline
which was rushing to spread throughout my body.

My brain is moving a mile a minute,
racing my thoughts to the finish line.

I'm shaking now, I can't feel my hands.
Is this what it's like to join the dance?
I've heard a lot about it,
they often call it a tango.

You're dancing with the devil,
he's run his nail down your arm and spread his poison

I'm having a panic attack.

panic panic panic panic panic panic

Breathe deep. Breathe deep. Breathe.

Take a breath.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe deep.

Breaths I take.

Take a breath.
Take my life.

No, wait that's not right.

I'm dancing with the devil tonight.
Afterall, who doesn't like the tango?

Why don't you look at me?

Why don't you see all the things that I see?

Why is all this unclear to you but not to me?

Why don't you look at me?

Why don't you feel the things that I felt?

Why haven't you held the burden's I've held?

why won't you look at me
why do you ignore the tears I do cry
why do you chase after time I cannot bide

why won't you look at me?
why won't you look at the face you've painted?

Aren't you proud of your work?

Changing my world's gravitation into your world's,
so you are the sole center of my universe

Aren't you happy with how I hurt?

Making me feel as though I am not real,
not really my own abode

Why won't you look at me?
*Aren't you *happy with your work?

Everything is sad
if you want it to be.
Life is sad.
Living is sad.
Feeling is sad.
Hearing,
hoping,
all that you seek.
Deep down you know
is already dead.
People are sad.
Our fate is sad.
But it is not set.
It's only true
if you believe in that.

I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself.
                                                              
No matter how many times I wipe your tears away
Or tell you how beautiful you are.
                                                                
You have to want to hear it and stop crying.

No matter how much I try make you smile
Or hug you close.

You have to want to smile and embrace me back.

No matter how much I wish I could save you.

The only person that can do that is you...

Often heard people say,
You only love once.
True love only comes around once in your lifetime.
There'll never be more than one soul mate,
more than your one and only.
The one who is so terribly wrong for you, but loving him feels more than right...it is perfection.

I met him years ago, the beginning of Autumn.
New season, new love.
Never knew it would turn out to be THE GREAT LOVE.
We were both so young, passionate and in love.
But as seasons change, so do people.

I was a student, she already had a career.
Guess the choice was easy.
She was the perfect choice, I, well I was a bit too broken, too wild to be tamed.
I was the party girl, the tattooed one, too unstable to be loved.
If only he knew that the wild loves unconditionally...we love forever.
I wanted to cry out loud, pick me!
The words just never reached my mouth.

I saw him recently and after six years,
I knew...I just knew this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
He told me he is too messed up...too selfish to be with someone.
What if he hurts me?
What if he cannot give me the happiness I deserve?
God, does this man not know he is my happiness.
I believe everything in life is a gamble and I'm willing to bet my heart.
I am willing to try, but I cannot do it alone.

If ever I walk down the aisle,
Lord, please let it be him waiting there for me.
I do not want to be his whole heart, I just want to be the one letting it skip a beat.
I want to watch him fall asleep and kiss him goodnight.
I want to be his wife.

For when true love comes around, it only happens once.
Never will you love someone the way you love your soul mate.

To be continued...

We were the best of friends,
Spending all of our time
Together
I can do anything
With you in my life.
Now that you’re gone
nothing ever feels right.
Take the clouds away
And bring back the light.

Nothing really matters
Without you by my side.
When you hold me in your arms
I feel alright.
Baby, come back to me,
I’ll stay here with you
Don’t leave me here alone
Please, don’t say goodbye.

We can spend all day,
talk about nothing forever
You are the thing that moves me,
You make me better
The sun doesn’t shine,
The rain clouds set in.
I would trade all my days
For one with you again.

Streams flow from my eyes
The road of loneliness twist and turns down my spine
Wrists like oak trees with carved memories of loved ones souls
Fingertips as delicate and cold as an alabaster snowflake
Wind chills my body; it feels the way it felt when I lost my soul
Now I lie empty and cold wondering the amount of time it would take to build a new one
…A heart that is… it fell and broke like the glass that it is
When you tore my soul from underneath me
Like a terrible way to impress a love interest at a dinner
I’m scarred
The memory of the day you told me that your are not mentally physically and emotionally devoted to my whole being
As I am to you