I can't take this anymore
stress is consuming me
I'm now on the floor
crying uncontrollably
because of all of you.
I no longer have room
for anyone who isn't
willing to try
Willing to try to stay
by my side
if you don't want me
in your life
then get the **** out of mine
Because I'm done.

Is it so bad.. that I just want to hold your hand? I want to pull you in and try to help you understand this isn't a ******* game, okay? You're either in or out there's no way around this yes or no question and if I keep thinking this way I might just go insane. I want you all to myself.. I've never felt this way please just tell me you're going to stay.. Until this pain subsides I'm going away to hide dreams may not be the best place to disappear to but it's the only place where I can see you. I'm sorry for being so paranoid. I guess this is what happens, when people find something they don't want to lose.

You don't know how it feels
to find out there's someone else
and not be able to do anything
to prevent the feelings that will
follow up and eventually take
that one special person that
makes everything okay away
from you..

I'm getting hyped up on caffiene
and ignoring my problems just
kind of trying to forget about
everything that has happened
and everything that will.

I'm tired of feeling neglected
and turning my head away-
pretending that what you've
been saying hasn't made me
want to just set mysef on fire
and ignore my true desires.

I'm sick of running up into
my bedroom to escape inside
of my virtual worlds to ignore
the lectures my parents have
been screaming to me.

I'm so fed up with the fights
my best friend and I get into
they're pointless and make
me want to turn away but
I truly cannot because she
means too much to me.

I'm saddened and physically
effected by the way I think
and feel about myself. I'm
pretty sure if everyone
somewhat enhanced the way
they acted towards me I'd
simply crack. Shatter. Fall
to the floor in my own tears.
Because I do not deserve
such greatness nor do I
deserve the hate that I've
been recieving.

But maybe they'd be better off
if that were to happen, they
wouldn't have me around to
complain and dump my feelings
everywhere from the drain that
is my mind

The only person that I really
want to stay around for is
someone who I really adore
he is everything to me and
more, in fact I dream about
him a lot which is just lovely
like the smile that he shows
to me in pictures that I hope
will sooner or later become
mine, his, our reality.
He's amazing.

I want to push you out of me
I don't want to need you the
way that I seem to.
But you've always been there
so it's kind of hard to do.
Honestly I just want the best
for you
So I'll disappear into the dark
I'm a wanderess already,
never sick of the rain that's
flooding me.

Maybe the majority of your malice march is fueled with fire;
fictionalized by myself. Simply because my greatest desire is
currently to avoid knowing that you long to hurt me. Dear, let
me tell you this; **I know everything.

I wish the storm would hit already
I have prepared my mind for the
upcoming tears; my bed is ready
for the unsteady mentality that I'll
be faced to deal with once you're
gone. It's hard to accept that this
is my reality; waiting for you to
realise that I'm not worth paying
attention to- not worth wasting
the warmth of your love on.
I honestly don't want to sit in this
waiting room any longer the sad
thought of you leaving me- is a
thought that I cannot handle,
and I know that soon with this
struggle I will call you at least a
billion times but hang up before
you can answer simply because
I miss you but know you're
entertained with other things;
other people. I am not a constant
need in your life, you'd be just
fine without me but without you
I am unhappy; I am wilting.
My tactless talent to treat the ones
that I truly love has acted once
again after all if I wasn't as sad
I wouldn't be writing these
withering words when I'm
well aware that you love me.

Honestly I am so done with your ****
*               I need help, won't you do this?
This time no, I don't think that I will
I'm tired of trying to do a good deed
just for you and it comes right back-
freezing my heart some worn out
number below zero degrees. I'm
so tired of trying to be there for you
always 100 percent and you just not
seeing it. you made me go from types
of sublime to forms of somber. You
were never really-TRULY-there for
me I now can remember that, simply.
This is my goodbye, don't contact me
again in this life.

Because of you,*
my favorite shades of blue are now ugly.
Everything that you ever told me is now
some form of anxiety I don't want to hear
sometimes I wish you'd just disappear..

Nose pressed to the glass
I'm smiling brightly
as you grasp my hand
My other hand reaches up
and touches the tanks coldness.
Aren't they beautiful?
I lovingly exclaim-
Squeezing your hand excitedly.
Lets come here again, okay?