Nothing is free

Even when you breath
It's to fullfil a need
Taken with greed
Ignoring the pleads
For the very same need

Belonging to you
Or belonging to me
It's dangerous to need
Especially
When needs can bleed

Rarely is it seen
The true value need
The price of free
Is more costly than greed
A price that is valued
Against someone else's needs

Nothing is free
Nothing is ever free
Weight out the costs

How valuable are your needs

I am most happy when I live life fully and ambitiously. When the pursuit of my goals are met with accomplishments, and when you have undoubtable faith in not only yourself, but in us as a team.

I love you endlessly and passionately, so much so that at times it frightens me how much I love you, but with that being said all you need to know is that I happily embrace the fear.

You are both a mystery and lifelonged companion to me. You amaze me as much as you frustrate me, and I without question, would give up the world for you.

I love you and I'm very sorry.

So **** tomorrow and every tomorrow that may come after it, but know this, I will live today and every other today is happily as I possibly can, with you.

Today was the worst day of my life
Was I always destined for a life like this
The days are stirring, wildly unpredictable
Best part is, I get to do it all over again
Day after day it never seems to end
Of course, I never thought life could be this
My heart races with tomorrow coming soon
Life is short and this is the life I live

When I was little
I was taught a lesson
That I control all that is destined
Of my life and how I live
And from that lesson I listened

In the next day
My teacher said
Today is a day to pretend

Gather round and close your eyes
Then tell me what you'd like to be
If you could be absolutely anything

I raised my hand without a doubt
And when I was called I said out loud
If I could be anything, I'd be "Y"

Because "Y" is in ever(y)thing
And "Y" can be an(y)thing

No no you don't understand
You need to try again she said

But I learned a lesson
That I control all that is destined
Of my life and how I live
And I want to be (Y) I said

But why

Because when people try but don't understand
They'll ask why and I'll help them learn

And when people are rude and say why should I care
I want to be there to say, I care

And when people are sad and ask why me
I'll be there to say it's going to be okay

I always want to be with (y)ou so that we're never alone

And because I want to be in the middle of Happ(y)ness

Happiness is spelled with and "I" my teacher said

I know
But "Y"

The rain falls on the cobble stone wall
She is tall, young with perfectly long hair
Black and gray is all that is today
The rain falls on her open toed shoes
Her cheecks are full, her breath is heavy
A little chilly for the fifth of September

Her skin like silk, damp and freckled
The rain falls in the most perfectly sad way
Drop by drop on the cobble stone wall
One by one under her freckled brow
Black and gray, black and gray

The church bell crashes, at the perfect hour
The day is gray but her eyes have color
Deep and rich with depth like the sea
Falling in deeper, and deeper
Impossible to look away

Searching and searching under sheets of gray
Only to find the reason to say
It feels a bit warmer on this September day
Looking into the eyes of young beauty
Reminding the soul of all past laughs
And easing the mind of tomorrow's woes

The rain falls on us all
But as long as there is color
Those are the reasons
We look into each other

When I think of you I think of how time has endlessly past and stalled by the fading yet constant memory of you

The memories of now and the memories of then are told differently in my head

Because as you now I have an overactive imagination

At Sunday night I drove you home it was quiet and uneventful with you sleeping right next to me

What I remember is a Sunday I could not end
Like a scene from a film the lighting of the street lamps perfectly placed to reveal your natural grin, as if to hint to the audience that you liked me too

What I remember is the beginning middle and end over romantic film that has been rewritten over and over again

Because as you know I have an overactive imagination

All the chasing playing laughing and cake throwing

All the *** and the dancing and every time we sat there and did nothing

Flashes like a montage of our greatest hits

What I remember is a plot of a romantic masterpiece one that can satisfy anyone's needs

But as you know I have an overactive imagination

And although I enjoy the show it was built off of exaggerations over past

The truth is it's been a very long time and I'm not sure if we'd be able to add anything new

Our story was one about an incredibly kind and beautiful girl

Who fell in love with a boy who was more brave and determined than anyone else, when it came to love

But there it goes my overactive imagination

We'd love each other then
It doesn't mean we'd love each other now

What it comes down to is that I'm not as brave as I used to be, when it comes to our love

So I quietly watch this film

Until the film wears thin

When you do bad things you never expect that they will happen to you

But if you believe in karma its inevitable that you'll get what's coming to you

When life becomes too heavy in reality. I display it on the sliver scene in my head

Like watching a sad film that I can't look away from. Because its just one of those nights that I want to be sad

I am no better or worse then the stars in my film. Yet I feel all their sadness all their struggle and every bit of their repentance

She's the lead role tonight, still sleeping in our bed.

She is always beautiful on the silver screen, when she smiles and plays...but tonight I'm watching a sad film

And all I see is her sadness and mine

She's sleeping in our bed next to the space that I wish I've always filled

She is beautiful in her sleep and I am tired of this film. I want too look away but my eyes are glued to the screen

I know I should lay down in the space next to her. The space that can only be filled by me tonight

She is the star of my film and we have both played our separate roles. But I am tired these old films.

So tonight I fill in that space

And as I lay there next to her, I close my eyes, cutting to black

Hoping for a happy ending

The man with the hand that is uncomfortable to hold
It is rough and sharp with no feeling really at all
Except for that spot where he trimmed at the nail
Not again he says, no no, not my nail

The clippers he used that went too deep
He only intended to keep appearances neat
To be seen like the man with the hand of a soldier
Broken and beaten, but with a veil placed over

So no one will know that he still feels pain
He grabs course rock and weilds hot flame
Forging the hand that belongs to a man
To be hard and tough this is his plan

But in that spot where he trimmed at the nail
The fire is too hot and the rocks painful
They scratch and burn at his sensitive skin
He stares at the spot where is nail should've been

Its the first true pain since he scared his skin
Remembering the hand that belonged to a boy
Comfortable to hold, gentle to touch
Able to feel every tickel and rush

His hand is too rough to touch the skin
The skin of a boy that once had been
Afraid of the pain before he hardened
He stares at the boy he cannot uncover

Unable to sooth
Unable to love
This hand is uncomfortable
Too hard and too rough

The hand of man that can't feel enough

If I grew my hair to my knees and dyed it to the color of the wind, would you still recognize him

If I pealed away at my fingers to make them look thinner, would you still be able to remember them

If I never walked into the sun again and took an eraser to my skin, just to be a bit lighter, would that be enough to disguise him

What if I even change the way I speak, a whole octive higher or perhaps lower, would his voice still be familiar

What if I make myself shorter or taller, with reconstructive surgery, do you think then you can be fooled by him

But what if

I break my nose and reshape it
   Take my lips and deflate them
      Gouge my eyes to replace them

Would that make a difference

What if I told you that you never had to see him again, that he can be different, he can be better, he could be anything

Would you believe in him





No...
But thanks for trying

the minutes turning hours
the hours passing days
the endlessness of days
waiting for time to end

the heartache of loneliness
upon the misery of time
carried out with every day
with boredom ridding my timeline

feeling the weight of eternity
pressing against the chest
endlessly presents
it doesn't regress

though weak and diminished
the spirit of hope lives on
for faith is my answer to time and love

with my minutes passing hours and my hours passing days
I live knowing that every day is a good day
just some are better than most days

That look of anticipation
Followed by hesitation

Hoping to be unchanged
Since you kept your world still

Looking for similarity
Shadowed by uncertainty

Trying to look past her
To see if you can find her

Asking if she has changed
Or if I've just forgotten

She's not the same


Am I to blam

Would you prefer
That I can never hurt you

Or, that we have the occasional opportunity to mend our wounds

So that they might be, better than before

God's gift to man is our ability for free will, he never intended free to be so cruel

I know I should try to think of hope, quite difficult, when nearly everything falls short

I think about which I can live without, time and again you always end up missing out

Sometimes I think I'll choose,
most of the time I don't.

To do something or not,
Free will will keep me from rot

life is what you live without.

Sleepless nights of endless doubt. Ramped possibilities, our will to not live without

Losing, lost, love, always ends with a loss, if free will were my choice

I'd rid myself of it

I most definitely sometimes we choose this choice

Once again like the robin who dreams of being an eagle, to fly proud and fearless, too busy with dreams to fly with them.
Like the seedlings are to the trees, too eager to see the end of their beautiful beginning.
Like the father that abandons his family on a Monday afternoon too afraid to fail to even try.

I'm sorry like when a best friend says after your mother dies.
I'm sorry like a child who brakes the priceless arlum.
I'm sorry like I am to you.

I repent like I'm told in church to do.
I beg like the man I walked past in the city.
I try not to cry like the soldier who kills for the first time.

Im in love with you.

I did not always see, but I'm in love with you.

Like the love I see in your parents.
Like the love you have for Christmas.
Like the love of any grandparent. I love you.

Don't give up on me

I know who calls you by your name
I know why you have fallen in shame
Always you have been more
You are the child reborn

A friend you have been to me
The friend you will always be
Believe the truth in me
The truth the blind can see

My words weigh like stone
Resting gently in sole
I am the love that loves all
Healing the wounds that make us fall

Trust in me, that it can be
Come with me, you are free
Rid yourself of uncertainty
My old friend listen to me

I feel the pain of all
So that I might know where you fall
Not one of us can be alone
I can never let you go

I am the one who knows your name
The one who will never be ashamed
Come with me, put your faith in me
We were always meant to be

I’d like to hear the silence of space

                    Count the people in my head

Organize the personalities
Separate the good from the bad

              Hear a new voice
       Because it’s easy to be sad

                                             Find the version of me
                                              That keeps me happy
                                                                ­                            Instead

Discover that voice
Among the people in my head

                                       That shouts          
                                                             Be good and Free!

Always reminding me

Have Faith that you were made
                                                           PERFECTLY

The Dancer moves the world around us, guiding the rhythm of our hearts.
Revealing a story that we can all see

The Singer strikes our hearts, filling the world with clarity and harmony.
Telling a story that we can all hear

The Writer fulfills our thoughts and desires, digging deep in our minds finding something that we hold dear.
Searching for a story that we can all understand

The Painter captures us with every stroke, reflecting our emotions.
Creating a story that we all feel

The Actor brings imagination to life, taking on personas that we are too afraid or uncertain to carry out.
They tell a story that empowers us all

While the Dreamer, dreams of being an Actor, a Painter, a Writer, a Singer and a Dancer, seeking an outlet. For the dreamer tells a story of their own.
A story that they wish they could tell

I step outside the realm of my mind
To find that I have nothing of mine
No possession or inheritance
Only a fine line
Between fact or fiction
Explaining why
I can not fly over seas
Or accomplish great deeds

My thoughts are fine residing in my mind
I am told, that in reality they can only die

My mind
My mind
My heart divine
Reality is king
But my thoughts are mine

I believe in love
I believe in hope
I believe that God wont let me choke
On the realities of time
That I will die before I fly
That all my great deeds will be denied

I do not mind if you mind my mind
Just know that my thoughts are mine

I ride the wind that takes me
I care not to stir
I live free
With no reason to fear

Free as can be
Never shedding a tear
For I know, my love is always near

Carried in my chest
Spoken through my voice
She is good and brilliant
She is my choice

The heart beats as one
Kissing each other goodbye
My love is near, unable to hide

My love is gone
Taken be the wind
In my reflection, she will remain

I will never forget
My beautiful swan
Be happy
Be free
She said to me

My love
My love
You will always be with me

What are you doing to me?

I love you...

It comes down to this single moment
Sitting here lazily on my bed
Unable to decide, whether or not
To feel sadness or depression

Perhaps what I should be feeling is relief
What I'd rather be feeling is empowerment
To remain hopeful, despite the odds
But I can't decide

How can I be sure of how my story ends
Am I to live out one of the most historical love stories of all time
Which character was I meant to be
A common man, bound for common love

I'd rather be the uncommon man
Who fights for something greater than just common love

How can I be sure though
Would I fight for victory or tragedy
Would I be a good common man
With a simple and meaningful life
Or would the taste of battle never leave my tongue
Making me regretful, of what could have been

Common men are necessary
They're the majority
They keep the uncommon man alive
Telling their children about great
Battles of courage
Battles of victory
And those of failure

Am I to tell my children of these stories
Am "I" meant to raise the uncommon men

Or did my mother raise me to be more than just the common man

"I am meant for greatness"
"I am uncommon"
"I am hopeful, despite the odds"

"My story will be worth telling"
"I fight for Love"

Everything reminds me of her
It gives me hope

I refuse to miss you
Staring into the picture of you
Escaping to the memory of you

Laughing about what I said to you
Struggling to recall the sound of you

Laughing
Singing
Your heart beating

I refuse to
I need to

Not, what could have been
But, what has always been

My love for you
What I have learned from you

The way you draw out your cry of excitement, before you roll into your vigorous laugh
How you play with notes alluringly whenever you sing to me
With my ear up against your chest I always hear your heart beating my name

I refuse to miss you

Its just a picture of you

The tub
The bin
The barrel
Whatever it may come in
I love Ice Cream till the very bottom
The richness of the sugars
The sensation on the lips
The chills down the throat
Everything blending together
We eat and eat until we reach the bottom
I love the Ice Cream that we eat
So much so fast
We never stop
Always looking for more
The richness of the sugars
The sensation to the lips
The chills down the throat
All blending together
Oh!
How I hope we find the mother load
All that we can eat
Until we can eat no more

It is the last day of middle school
And today I was finally going to tell her, that I love her
When the bell rang and as we walked down the hall
She said, see ya, have a great summer, and she gave me a hug
I just want to tell her how I feel
That I love her and that I have always loved her
But I can’t, because I know she doesn't feel the same way
We are friends and nothing more, and it will always be this way

We are seniors in high school and prom is coming up
Her high school sweet heart just broke up with her
She came to my house and cried all night
She asked me if we could go together, as friends
I said yes, that’s what friends are for
She said I’m so lucky to have you
I just want to tell her how I feel
That I love her and that I've always loved her
But I can’t, because I know she doesn't feel the same way
We are friends and nothing more, and it will always be this way

Today is her wedding and she looks so beautiful
Her husband seems nice and he truly seems to make her happy
She spotted me across the room and ran over to say hello
She said, I’m so happy you were able to make it
I said, that’s what friends are for
As she walked away to the alter I couldn't help but to feel regret
Every part of me wanted to stand up and object
I just want to tell her how I feel
That I love her and that I've always loved her
But I can’t, because I know she doesn't feel the same way
We are friends and nothing more, and it will always be this way

Today is her funeral and she looks so peaceful
But I can’t believe that she is really gone
I gave her a kiss on her forehead and got down on my knee
I leaned in and whispered into her ear
I just want to tell you how I feel
That I love you and that I've always loved you
And I will never stop loving you
Then her daughter came up to me and gave me a diary
She said it was her mothers and that she wanted me to have it
When I got home that night I studied the old pictures of us
And then I began to read the diary
As I read, my hands began to tremble, my heart racing as tears ran down my face
She wrote “I just want him to know how I feel
That I love him and that I've always loved him
But I can’t, because I know he doesn't feel the same way
We are friends and nothing more”